Volume 1 - The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi

by Tanigawa Nagaru

  I knew right away that Haruhi must have retraced the places she went last Saturday after school.

  “I was afraid I might have missed something, so I thought it safer to go through the places again.”

  I’d always thought it was only detectives who believed criminals would return to the scene of crime, but I was wrong.

  “It’s hot as hell! When is the school gonna switch uniforms? I want to wear short sleeves!”

  They don’t change seasons till June, and there’s only one week left till May finishes.

  “Suzumiya, maybe I’ve said this before, but I think you’d better stop looking for those mysterious events, and try to live a normal high school life.”

  She would lift her head and scowl at me……I was anticipating that kind of reaction, yet Haruhi’s head remained stuck on the desk. It seems she’s really exhausted.

  “A normal high school life? What kind of life is that?”

  She doesn’t sound interested at all.

  “Something like finding a decent boyfriend. You might even stumble upon an alien while you’re dating. That’ll be two birds with one stone, that’s not too bad, right?”

  I started thinking about Asahina-san’s conversation with me that day while making such a suggestion.

  “Besides, there are plenty of guys lining up for you. All you need is to hold back that eccentric behavior of yours and your boyfriend will arrive.”

  “Hmph, it doesn’t matter if I have a boyfriend or not! All this so-called love is just a temporary confusion of the mind, a mental illness.”

  Haruhi said exhaustedly while lying on the desk and looking out the window.

  “Actually, I do tend to think about this stuff from time to time. I am an energetic girl after all, plus my body has its needs. But I’m not dumb enough to take on this troublesome stuff just because of a short moment of confusion. And if I’m too busy dating, what happens to the SOS Brigade? I just founded it!”

  Technically it’s not founded yet.

  “Then why not create a club that involves some form of entertainment? That would attract more members for sure.”

  “No.”

  Haruhi flatly refused.

  “I founded the SOS Brigade because all the other normal clubs were too boring, and I’ve recruited a cute girl like Mikuru-chan and a mysterious transfer student as well! Why hasn’t anything happened yet? Sigh, it’s about time something strange happened.”

  This is the first time I’ve seen Haruhi this depressed, but she’s cute like that too. For a cute girl like her, she’s pretty enough even when she’s not smiling, it’s such a pity, the more I think about it.

  Haruhi spent the rest of the day sleeping soundly. What’s amazing is, the teachers never noticed……No, this has to be a coincidence.

  Yet from this moment, strange things were quietly beginning. Since it wasn’t a big deal at the beginning, no one else had noticed yet, but I’d been thinking about it all day ever since homeroom session.

  While I was speaking to Haruhi, my mind was dwelling on something else. It all began with a note that was left in my shoe locker this morning.

  The note said,

  “After school when everyone else has left, come to the 1-5 classroom.”

  It was obviously a girl’s handwriting.

  What is this all about? An emergency conference was held in my mind between my differing opinions.

  The first said, “this has happened before,” but the handwriting was different from the one on the bookmark. Nagato, who claims to be a Living Humanoid Interface for the aliens, has handwriting so beautiful it’s as though it’s printed, yet this note gives the impression of a high school girl’s handwriting. Besides, Nagato would not be so direct as to stick a note in my shoe locker.

  The second said, “could it be Asahina-san?” No, if it’s Asahina-san, she wouldn’t just randomly tear a piece of paper and scribble down a note without writing any time on it. That’s right, she would have placed her well-written letter into an envelope.

  Moreover, it was strange that the location is in my classroom. “It can’t be Haruhi!?” said the third opinion. That’s even more impossible, if it were her, she would have just dragged me to the staircase and told me right away if she wanted me to know something.

  Based on the same reasoning, I eliminated Koizumi from the equation as well. Finally, a fourth opinion said, “Could it be a love letter from some stranger?” Let’s not worry ourselves whether this is a love letter or not, the thing is I’m being called out by someone, and it doesn’t even have to be a girl.

  “Don’t fall for it! It’s most likely a prank by Taniguchi and Kunikida.” Yes, that’s the most plausible opinion. It’s possible that that idiot Taniguchi would play such senseless pranks, but he should’ve written more.

  I walked aimlessly around school while thinking about all these. After class, Haruhi said she was sick and went home. This is a great chance!

  I decided to go to the club room first. I’d go crazy if I went too early to the classroom to wait for some unknown stranger. Plus, if all of a sudden Taniguchi suddenly came in and said, “Yo, you still waiting? I can’t believe you’d fall for such a small note, how innocent you are!” I’d be mightily pissed. Kill some time first, go and have a peek in the classroom, and then go in after making sure no one is around. Yes, this is the perfect strategy!

  I arrived at the club room entrance on my own. This time I remembered to knock.

  “Please come in.”

  Once I confirmed it was Asahina-san’s voice, I opened the door. No matter how many times I look at it, Asahina just looks so adorable in her maid costume!

  “Took you awhile to arrive, where’s Suzumiya-san?”

  Looks like she’s brewing tea again.

  “She went home, she seems really tired. If you want to exact revenge, now’s the chance, right now she seems very weak.”

  “I’m not going to do any such thing!”

  We sat face to face and drank our tea in the room with Nagato reading. We seem to have reverted back to the same aimless association as before.

  “Koizumi still hasn’t arrived?”

  “Koizumi-kun came earlier, he said he’s got part-time work today, so he went off first.”

  What kind of part-time work? But as things stand, I can now confidently cross out Koizumi and Haruhi from my suspect list on who wrote the note.

  Since we didn’t have anything to do, I played some Othello with Asahina-san and chatted with her. After winning three games, we stopped playing and went to surf the internet to read the news, and at this moment, Nagato closed her book. Recently, we’ve taken this action of hers as a sign that it’s time to call it a day for club activities (though we don’t know what activities there are), and we all began to pack and leave.

  “I need to change, so you go on first.” Hearing Asahina-san say that, I rushed out of the club room.

  The clock pointed to half past five, there shouldn’t be anyone left in the classroom, I guess? Even if it were a prank by Taniguchi, he would have gone home after getting bored from waiting so long. Despite that, I still ran up the two flights of stairs to the top floor, just to make sure.

  I breathed deeply in the silent corridor. Since the classroom windows are all stained, there’s no way I’d be able to see what’s going on inside, just that the sunset has colored the room orange-red. I casually opened the 1-5 classroom door and stuck my head inside.

  I wasn’t at all surprised that someone was waiting inside the classroom, but I was shocked when I found out who it was. Standing in front of the blackboard is a person who I would not have thought of at all.

  “You’re late.”

  Asakura Ryouko smiled.

  She flicked her silky long hair and started walking down the aisle. Her smooth thighs under her folded skirt and her white indoor shoes are really distracting.

  She stopped in the center of the classroom, and waved towards me with a smile.

  “Come in!
”

  As though I were being sucked in, her action caused me to let go of the door handle and walk towards her.

  “So it’s you……”

  “Yes, surprised?”

  Asakura smiled happily, the right side of her face is red from the sunset shining in.

  “You looking for me?”

  I intentionally asked in a rough tone, Asakura giggled and replied,

  “Indeed I was looking for you, I have something to ask you.”

  Asakura’s white face now turns towards me.

  “Have you heard of the saying ‘It is better to do it and regret than not do it at all’? You think that makes sense?”

  “I’m not really sure who said that, but I guess the meaning makes sense.”

  “If there exists a situation where staying in the status quo would make things worse, and you have no idea how to improve it, what would you do?”

  “Improve on what? The economy?”

  Ignoring my question, Asakura smiled and continued,

  “Wouldn’t you have said that you should do it first and face the consequences later? Since nothing is going to change if things continue like this.”

  “Hmm, I guess so.”

  “That’s what I meant.”

  Asakura, who had her hands behind her back, leaned slightly forward.

  “However, since those above are incapable of thinking laterally, they are out of touch with the rapid changes in this reality, I’m compelled to do something in order to make things run smoothly. That’s why, being in this reality, I have decided to act on my own and forcefully make some changes.”

  What on Earth are you trying to say? Is this some sort of prank? I looked around the room, wondering whether Taniguchi is hiding in the cabinet holding the sweeping tools behind, or whether he’s sitting under the teacher’s desk.

  “I’ve grown tired of having to observe a changeless environment, that’s why……”

  I was so busy looking around that I didn’t really hear what Asakura was saying.

  Ryouko: “I have to kill you, and see what sort of reaction Suzumiya Haruhi would have.”

  “I have to kill you, and see what sort of reaction Suzumiya Haruhi would have.”

  In an instant, Asakura flashed her right hand, a white metallic flash went past where my neck used to be.

  Smiling pleasantly, Asakura’s right hand now revealed a knife as sharp as an army knife.

  I was very lucky to dodge the first strike. Because right now I’m on the ground on my backside, looking palely at Asakura. If I’m trapped, I won’t be able to escape! This thought flashed through my mind, and I crawled backwards like a locust.

  Why didn’t Asakura give chase?

  ……No, wait! What on Earth’s going on? Why is Asakura trying to stab me with a knife? Wait a second, what did Asakura just say? She wants to kill me? Kill me? But, why!?

  “Stop joking around!”

  I could only say this trademark sentence of mine.

  “That was really dangerous! Even if that were a fake knife, I would be scared as well! Put that thing away!”

  I was really confounded. If someone knows what’s going on, please come out and explain to me!

  “You think I’m joking?” Asakura said in a very cheerful tone, not sounding very serious at all. Now that I think about it, a high school girl smiling while threatening your life with a knife is really scary. So now you know how frightened I was.

  “Hmph!”

  Asakura patted her shoulder with the back of the knife blade.

  “You don’t like dying? You don’t want to die? The death of organic entities means nothing to me.”

  I slowly stand up. This has to be a joke, I’m only scared because I’m too serious. I kept on telling myself this, because it was just too surreal. Asakura is the serious responsible class monitor, who would only talk when necessary in class, and wouldn’t go nuts even when faced with a problem. Why would she carry a knife and say she wants to kill me all of a sudden?

  Yet that knife is real, if I wasn’t careful I would be bleeding all over the place.

  “I don’t get what you’re saying. This isn’t funny anymore, OK? Put that scary thing away!”

  “I can’t do that,” Asakura smiled her usual innocent smile, “Because I really want you dead.”

  She held her knife by her waist, and started rushing towards me. She’s fast! This time I was prepared, because long before Asakura made her move, I had set sights on escaping through the door - yet I ended up hitting a wall.

  ????

  That’s strange, where’d the door go? Even the windows are gone! There were supposed to be windows on the wall facing the corridor, now it’s just a thick grey wall.

  Impossible!

  “It’s useless.”

  Asakura’s voice grew closer from behind.

  “I now have control of this area of space, so all exits have been blocked. It’s quite easy actually, all I needed to do was tamper with the molecular structure of the buildings on this planet and I can change its matter at will. This room has now become a sealed room, and there’s no way in or out now.”

  I turned around and noticed that the sunset has gone as well. The whole room is surrounded by concrete walls, leaving only the white lamps shining coldy on the desks.

  This can’t be!

  Asakura’s silhouette moved slowly towards me.

  “I advise you to stop resisting; you’re going to die, anyway.”

  “……Who exactly are you?”

  No matter how I looked, there were walls around me. There’s not a single door, a single window, nothing! Is something wrong with my brain?

  I frantically moved between the desks, trying to get as far from Asakura as possible. Yet Asakura walked towards me in a straight line, moving the desks and chairs from her path at will. Compared to her, my path was always blocked by the desks.

  This cat and mouse chase didn’t last long, and eventually I was cornered.

  If that’s the case……

  I decided to take a risk and threw a chair at Asakura, yet the chair turned in the air right in front of Asakura, and flew off to the other end of the room. How can this be possible!?

  “Didn’t I tell you it’s useless? Everything in this room now moves according to my will.”

  Wait… Wait!

  What is going on here? If this isn’t a joke or a prank, and neither me nor Asakura were crazy, then what is going on?

  I have to kill you, and see what sort of reaction Suzumiya Haruhi would have.

  Why is it Haruhi again? Haruhi, my, aren’t you getting a bit too popular?

  “I should’ve done this from the beginning.”

  My body froze after Asakura said that. You can’t do that! That’s cheating!

  My feet are rooted to the ground like a tree, unable to move. My arms are fixed like a wax statue - I can’t even move my fingers. My face, stuck pointing towards the ground, could see Asakura’s indoor shoes slowly entering my field of vision.

  “Once you die, Suzumiya Haruhi is bound to have some sort of reaction. This might create a massive data explosion from which we could salvage something. This could be the chance in a lifetime for us.”

  I don’t really care about that!

  “Now die.”

  I could feel Asakura lifting her knife up. Where would she start? The throat arteries, heart? If I knew how I was going to die, I could at least be prepared. At least let me close my eyes…… No, I can’t do that. W… what’s this!?

  I suddenly felt the air shake. The knife began to fall upon me……

  At this moment, the ceiling gave out a loud cracking noise, followed by debris falling down. Some of which fell on my head - that hurts! Dammit! I was covered in white dust by the large amount of continuously falling debris, so I guess Asakura is covered in white as well. I wanted to see what she looked like now, but I couldn’t move……no, wait! I can move again!

  I lifted my head and discovered……!


  A shocked Asakura - just as she’s about to slice my neck. Standing in front, catching the blade with her bare hands, is the slim figure of Nagato Yuki.

  (Wow, she can catch the blade with just her bare hands.)

  “Your programs are too basic.” Nagato said in her usual expressionless tone,

  “The data lockdown around the ceiling area was incomplete. That is why I was able to discover it and enter.”

  “You want to get in my way?” Asakura sounded calm. “Once I kill this person, Suzumiya Haruhi is bound to have some sort of reaction. Only then can we obtain more data.”

  “You are supposed to be my backup.” Nagato said in a mantra-like tone, “This sort of insubordination is forbidden; you must obey my commands.”

  “What if I refuse?”

  “Then I will disconnect your data interface.”

  “Would you like to try? I have the advantage here, since this classroom belongs to the scope of my data control.”

  “Processing application for data interface disconnection.”

  As Nagato finished, the knife in her hand started glowing brightly. Then, like the sugar cube being placed into a cup of tea, it slowly crystallized and dissolved and fell towards the floor like powder.

  “!!”

  Asakura released the knife and jumped five meters away. Seeing this scene, I couldn’t help but realize - whoa, these two really aren’t human.

  Opening up the distance in an instant, Asakura landed elegantly and continued smiling as usual.

  The space around began to distort - I can only describe it as such. Asakura, the desks, the ceiling and floor all shook vigorously; overall, it had the appearance of what seemed like liquid metal, though I couldn’t really see that clearly.

  Just as I was wondering how it’s just this space that’s slowly being turned into what seemed like spears, a crystallized explosion occurred in front of Nagato’s raised palms.

  The next second, there were continuous crystallized explosions around Nagato, followed by powder dropping onto the ground. The crystallized spear-like objects flew from all directions towards us with lightning fast speed. It was already a moment later when I discovered Nagato facing those spears with the same speed.