Volume 1 - The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi

by Tanigawa Nagaru

  “Ah! Could it be that you live here as well? Such a coincidence!”

  Nagato nodded with her pale white face. Please, how can this be a coincidence?

  “Have you heard anything about Asakura?”

  She shook her head.

  “I see. If you hear anything about Asakura, remember to tell me.”

  She nodded her head.

  I noticed some food cans and vegetables inside her convenience store bags and thought, so she can eat after all!

  “What happened to your glasses?”

  Nagato didn’t directly answer the question but only silently looked at me. I panicked a bit being stared at by her like that, while Haruhi, not expecting her to answer at all, simply shrugged her shoulders and walked off without turning her head. I lifted my arm and waved goodbye to Nagato.

  As we walked past, Nagato whispered, “Be careful.”

  Be careful of what this time? As I was about to turn and ask her, Nagato had already entered the apartment block.

  I followed Haruhi, who was walking aimlessly along the railway line, remaining two to three steps behind her. We would be getting farther from home if we continued this way, so I asked where we were going.

  “Nowhere in particular.” She replied.

  I looked at the back of Haruhi’s head and said, “Then can I go home now?”

  At this point, Haruhi stopped walking, looking as though she was about to fall forward. Then she looked at me with a face as pale white as Nagato’s.

  “Do you ever get the feeling you’re just a small nail on this Earth?”

  She continued, “I have, and I’ll never forget it.”

  Haruhi stood by the railway tracks, sorry, the railway path, and began to talk.

  “When I was in sixth grade, I went with my family to see a baseball game. I wasn’t really interested in baseball, yet when I went there, I was given a shock, since everywhere I looked there were people all around. The people at the opposite of the stadium were as small as a grain of rice, in constant motion. I had thought the whole nation had gathered upon this spot then. So I asked my dad how many people were at the stadium. My dad said as it was full that day, maybe around fifty thousand?

  “After the game, the roads were packed with people. Seeing all this, I was stunned. There were so many people here, yet they were only a tiny fraction of the whole nation. I read in geography class that Japan had a population of a hundred million, so I went home and did some math using a calculator, and I found out that fifty thousand was only one out of two thousand of the total population. At that time, I was stunned again. I was only a small part of so many people in the stadium, and this many people were merely one out of two thousand of the whole nation.

  “Before that, I had always felt myself to be special. I was happy with my family, and I felt I was with the world’s most interesting people in my class. Yet from that time on, I realized things weren’t like that. The experiences I had in school that I thought were the happiest things in the world, turned out to exist in every school. For the whole nation, this was nothing special. When I discovered that, the whole world around me lost its color. I brush my teeth and go to sleep, then wake up and have breakfast. You see these things everywhere.

  “I found it extremely boring when I realized all these things are all part of a person’s ordinary life. I believe that since there’s so many people in this world, there has to be someone who’s living an extraordinary, exciting life. But why isn’t that person me?

  “Before I graduated from elementary school, I thought all about it. So when I entered junior high, I decided to change myself. I wanted to let the world know, I’m not a girl who will only sit and wait. I believe I’ve tried my best, but everything’s the same as it’s always been. And now I’m in high school, still hoping for something to change.”

  When she finished she gave an expression of regretting ever saying all that, and looked at the sky in anguish.

  Haruhi said this without pause, as though giving a speech in a debate. When she finished she gave an expression of regretting ever saying all that, and looked at the sky in anguish. A train passed rapidly by us. Thanks to all the rumbling noise, I had time to consider if I should continue asking or whether I should find something philosophical to please Haruhi.

  I watched the train leave behind its Doppler Effect sound and said, “Is that so?”

  I felt bad at only coming up with such a simple reply.

  Haruhi used her hands to hold down her hair, which was blown up by the draft from the passing train, and said, “Let’s go!”

  After that, she went towards whence we came from. Though I could reach home faster if I followed where Haruhi was headed, it was as though her back was silently telling me “Don’t follow me!”, so I stayed where I was and watched Haruhi walk off until she disappeared from my sight.

  Just what the hell have I been doing all along?

  When I came home, I found Koizumi waiting by the door.

  “Hi.”

  His smile looked a bit fake, as though he was trying to greet an old friend. He waved heartily at me, wearing his uniform and carrying his bag, apparently having just come home from school.

  “I want to keep the promise I made to you earlier. That’s why I’ve been waiting for you. I never thought you’d return so quickly!”

  Koizumi continued with his ever-present smile,

  “Can I delay you for a moment? I’d like to take you to see a place.”

  “Something to do with Suzumiya?”

  “It’s something to do with Suzumiya-san.”

  I opened the door and placed my bag by the entrance room. Then after telling my sister, who had just come out, that I was going to be a bit late tonight, I went back to Koizumi.

  A few minutes later, we went on a ride.

  Koizumi flagged down a taxi that stopped by my place, then we rode off along the main road eastwards. Koizumi told the driver to go to a large city outside the prefecture. It would be cheaper to go by train, but since Koizumi was paying, I didn’t really mind.

  “Right, what was the promise you said you were going to keep?”

  “Didn’t you say you wanted to see proof of my esper powers? Now’s the chance, that’s why I wanted you to come!”

  “Is there any need to travel so far?”

  “Yes. I can only use my powers under specific places and conditions. The place we’re headed to fits those conditions.”

  “You still believe Haruhi is God?”

  Koizumi, sitting together with me at the rear, glanced at me sideways.

  11 The Anthropic Principle is an umbrella term for various attempts to explain the structure of the universe necessary to the existence of life. The most common form is a tautology beginning with the observation that the universe appears surprisingly hospitable to life and concludes in only such a fine-tuned universe can such living observers exist.

  In other words: You shouldn’t be surprised that the world is suitable for life because, if it wasn’t, you wouldn’t exist to observe it.

  “Have you ever heard of the Anthropic Principle[11]?”

  “Never heard of it.”

  Koizumi sighed and smiled again,

  “Basically, it’s the theory that ‘if something must be true for us, as humans, to exist, then it is true simply because we exist.’”

  I don’t get it.

  “The universe exists simply because it is there for us to observe. In other words, the intelligent lifeforms known as humans learned of the existence of the universe through observing how the universe was formed by the discovery of the laws of physics. If humans had not evolved to the present level, then observation would be impossible, and they would never learn of the existence of the universe.

  “This means whether the universe exists or not, for a human who hasn’t completely evolved, it wouldn’t make much of a difference. It is because of the presence of us fully-evolved humans that the existence of the universe is widely accepted. This is the metho
d of thinking from the humans’ point of view.”

  “Such a queer way of thinking! I mean, the universe exists regardless of whether humans exist or not.”

  “You’re right. That’s why the Anthropic Principle is not completely scientific, just a philosophical way of thinking. However, something interesting comes out from this theory.”

  The taxi stopped at a red light. The driver was looking forwards only, and never bothered to turn around at us.

  “Why did the universe come to be in a state suitable for human habitation? A minor change in the gravitational constant would mean a completely different universe from the one we’re in. Other sets of rules such as Planck’s Constant or the mass ratio of atomic molecules seem to be designed specifically so that humans can live in this universe. Don’t you find this incredible?”

  I felt my back itch. This is because the stuff Koizumi said sounds like one of the rhetorical flyers given out by those newly formed religions whose founding principles are based on scientific theories.

  “Relax! I don’t believe in the existence of an Almighty God, or the Ultimate Creator that created humans. Many of my companions think the same way as well. Yet, there’s one thing that bothers us.”

  Bothered by what?

  “The things that we do. Are they as foolish as a clown doing a handstand by the edge of a cliff?”

  The expression on my face right now was probably very strange, or Koizumi wouldn’t have laughed so hard like a hen clucking away.

  “I was kidding!”

  “I really don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

  I really wanted to tell him, I don’t have time to play some stupid jokes with you. Can you let me off? Driver, do you mind turning around? If possible, I’d prefer the latter choice.

  “I’m just using the Anthropic Principle as a comparison. We still haven’t touched on the subject of Suzumiya-san.”

  This is too strange! Why are you, Nagato and Asahina all so infatuated with Haruhi?

  “I believe she is a very charismatic person. Let’s leave that aside now, do you still remember me saying that this world had probably been created by Suzumiya-san?”

  I didn’t like what he was saying, but I did remember it having been said.

  “She has the ability to realize dreams.”

  Can you not be so conclusive?

  “I cannot not think like that, because right now the world is headed towards Suzumiya-san’s wishes.”

  How is that possible?

  “Suzumiya-san always believed aliens existed, that’s why Nagato Yuki appeared. Similarly, she wanted to meet time travelers, so Asahina Mikuru appeared as well. And I appeared before her for the same reasons as well.”

  “And how do you know that?”

  “It was three years ago……”

  Three years ago again! I’m sick of hearing that already!

  “One day, I suddenly realized I possessed a specific power, and for some reason, I fully understood how to use this power. At the same time, I also discovered others like me have also had their powers awakened and that these powers were granted by Suzumiya Haruhi. I can’t go into the details, so all I can say is that I know these things while not being able to explain them.”

  “Alright, even if I believe you have these powers, I still can’t believe Haruhi can have such powers.”

  “Neither did I. A mere schoolgirl having the ability to change the world — sorry, I guess it should be more like the ability to create worlds, huh? The scary thing is that this girl now finds the world she’s in to be boring.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Didn’t I say it before? If she could create worlds at will, then naturally she can make this world disappear without a trace and then restructure it according to her wishes. Then, in a literal sense, the world will have come to an end. We can’t determine whether this theory is correct or not; who knows, the world which we believe to be unique has probably been recreated many times before already.”

  I was overusing the word “unbelievable” so much now that I needed a thesaurus.

  “If that’s the case, why don’t you just tell Haruhi who you really are? Let her know espers really do exist. If she knew, I think she’d be really happy. Maybe then, she wouldn’t want to try and destroy this world!”

  “Then it would pose a greater problem. If Suzumiya-san believed the existence of espers to be a very normal thing, then the whole world would become like that. All the laws of physics would be distorted: the Molecular Constant, the Second Law of Thermodynamics, and the rest of the universe would all descend into chaos.”

  “There’s something I don’t understand.” I continued, “I remember you saying it was Haruhi’s longing to meet aliens, time travelers and espers that caused you, Nagato-san, and Asahina-san to appear before her?”

  “Yes.”

  “If that’s true, then why hasn’t Haruhi discovered that yet? In contrast, it’s just you and me who know everything. Isn’t that a little strange?”

  “You find it inconsistent? It really isn’t; the real inconsistency is within Suzumiya-san’s heart.”

  Can’t you say something that I can understand, please!?

  “In other words, she does hope for the existence of aliens, time travelers, and espers. Her common sense, however, is telling her that these things don’t exist, and this creates cognitive dissonance. Though she may be eccentric in her actions and speech, her thinking is still no different from the ordinary person. Her stormy enthusiasm has slowly calmed down in the last few months, and we’re glad to see her stabilize, yet a tornado-like change has occurred suddenly.”

  “And why is that?”

  “It’s all because of you.”

  Koizumi’s raised his lips,

  “If you hadn’t given Suzumiya-san some funny ideas, we would still be observing her from behind the scenes right now.”

  “What did I do!?”

  “It was you who encouraged her to form that weird club. All because of a conversation she had with you, she came up with the idea of forming a club to gather all the mysterious characters. So you must carry full responsibility for all of this. It is because of you that the three groups most concerned with Suzumiya Haruhi have now gathered together.”

  “……That’s an unfair accusation!” I defended myself unconvincingly.

  Koizumi only smiled and continued, “But that’s not the only reason.”

  He stopped talking after saying that. As I was about to say something, the driver said suddenly, “We’re here.”

  The car came to a stop and the door opened. I stepped into the crowded street with Koizumi. Though the driver then drove off without even charging any fare, I wasn’t at all surprised.

  If people in this area wanted to go shopping, this would be the place for them to do so. This is the typical local metropolis with the railway interchange, as well as all sorts of department stores and complex architecture. The sunset bathed the bustling street full of pedestrians in a glowing color. When the lights at the intersection ahead turned green, the road became occupied by a sea of people in an instant. We were separated for a while by this wave after we got off by the sidewalk.

  “What is it that you wanted to show me by taking me here?”

  Walking slowly by the zebra crossing, Koizumi looked ahead and said, “There’s still time for you to change your mind!”

  “I’m already here anyway, so cut to the chase.”

  Walking besides me, Koizumi suddenly grabbed my hand. Hey, what do think you’re doing!? That’s gross!

  “Excuse me, but can you please close your eyes for a while? This won’t take long.”

  I dodged to avoid a commuter from bumping into me. The green lights started flashing.

  Alright! So I obligingly closed my eyes. I could still hear the many footsteps on the street, the car engines roaring, the endless chatting, and all sorts of noises.

  Under Koizumi’s guidance, I walked ahead one step, two steps, three step
s, and then I stopped.

  “You can open them now.”

  I slowly opened my eyes.

  The whole world fell into a shade of grey.

  It was really dark. I couldn’t help but lift my head towards the sky. The glowing orange sun was nowhere to be seen, and the sky was covered by gloomy grey clouds. Were those really clouds? The flawless dark horizon stretched endlessly ahead in every direction. The only thing that stopped this world from falling completely into darkness was the occasional light that shone through, replacing that of the bright sun, producing a weak glow in the grey sky.

  There were no people at all.

  Besides Koizumi and I, standing in the middle of the intersection, the bustling crowd that was here before had now vanished without a trace. In the vast darkness, only the traffic lights flashed, changing red, while the other set of traffic lights turned green, yet there was not a single vehicle on the road. It was so quiet that one might wonder if the Earth had stopped spinning as well.

  “We’re now in a gap within a cross-dimensional faultline; this is a Sealed Reality, a place that is completely cut off from the world we live in.”

  Koizumi’s voice became particularly clear in the silence.

  “The center of this intersection falls right by the “Wall” of this Sealed Reality. Look, just like that.”

  Koizumi’s outstretched arm stopped in midair, as though blocked by something. I tried to do the same and stretched my arm towards that direction; it felt like touching cold washed vegetables. My hands pushed through the surface of an elastic invisible wall, but I could not extend any further beyond ten centimeters.

  “This Sealed Reality has a radius of five kilometers. Usually, it’s impossible to enter using normal physical means. One of my powers is the ability to enter such spaces.”

  Like bamboo poles standing, not a single light shone from the buildings around. The shops within the shopping district were all dark inside, with only the street lamps flickering weakly.

  “Where is this place?”

  No, the question ought to be “What dimension is this?”