She's Gone (A psychological thriller)

by M A Comley

  “Oh, I do hope so. Not sure I could have coped with them hounding us for much longer.”

  He noticed her hands shaking. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her and whispered, “I’ll always be by your side, protecting you, sweetheart.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. I love you so much, Martin.”

  10

  Five Years Later

  “Jackie, can you get me the file for the Hawker contract?”

  “Yes, Mr Jenkins, right away, sir.” The older woman scurried out of the office and returned, all beaming smiles and shaking hands as she deposited the file on his desk, spilling most of the contents in her urgency to please him. “Here you are, sir. Oops! Can I get you anything else?”

  “Not for the moment. Shut the door on your way out, if you would.” He was desperate for a coffee, but her enthusiasm to please him had already cost him a packet in dry cleaning bills this month. He’d give her a couple of weeks, see if she settled down a little. If there was no improvement by then, he’d be forced to make yet another change. In the past five years, since Louise had left the firm, he’d failed to find a suitable replacement for her. Jackie was the last in a very long line of secretaries who were definitely not up to the task. Working with Louise had been effortless at the time. Maybe that’s why he’d found her attractive and ended up having an affair with her.

  His gaze drifted out of the window, and the urgent matter of chasing up a shipment that had gone missing was temporarily forgotten. He wondered, not for the first time, how Louise and her two kids were getting on. He’d found himself more and more tempted lately to ring her to find out, stopping himself at the last moment, fearing where it might lead again. He directed his thoughts to Debs instead.

  Life was still tough for him and Debs, even though they were new parents to an adorable little boy called Logan who was three months old. He would never replace Adele, who was still missing, but he gave them something to focus on, rather than trawling the internet day in day out for any likely sightings of their beautiful daughter.

  Five years of hell they had been through. In that time, Debs had never returned to work; her nerves were badly frayed and beyond repair. They hadn’t planned on having another child either, although Logan had turned out to be a blessing in disguise. The news they were expecting a child had given Debs hope, but when Logan had arrived Debs was a little deflated. She’d clearly been hoping for a girl. This revelation meant she’d taken a turn for the worse mentally.

  Life had been exceptionally hard for both of them. Debs struggling to cope with Logan, and him finding himself overstretched at work with a bunch of new clients to handle as the business swiftly expanded. He was now working far longer hours, just when Debs needed him the most. Again, his inability to return to the house before eight o’clock at night had put a vast amount of stress on their relationship. In truth, he was feeling penned in, to the point of suffocation.

  At times, he was grateful that work was full on. It distracted him long enough to forget about what his life had become. There were days when he didn’t even think about Adele, as heartless as that might sound to an outsider. She was there, still in his heart and in his mind at the weekends when he had no work to contend with, but during the week, he devoted all his excess energy to his work.

  Unlike Debs.

  She was at home, caring for Logan and making comparisons between the two children all day long. Adele had been a happy baby, but Logan was the total opposite—he cried most days, even during the night, to the extent that neither of them got much rest. It was all too draining for Debs, and he felt for her; but then, at least she could put her feet up during the day and catch a nap when Logan finally gave his lungs a rest. He couldn’t.

  He rang home, the guilt playing havoc with his conscience. “How are you, Debs?”

  “Bad today. Listen to him, he hasn’t bloody stopped since you left this morning. I’m not cut out to be a mother. First, my daughter goes missing, and now my son wants nothing to do with me. The second I pick him up for a cuddle, he starts bawling again. I want my life back, Martin, the carefree life I had before he came along.”

  “Debs, don’t think that way. He’ll settle down soon. Did you call the midwife?”

  “Yes, she can’t get to me for a few days, I’m in a damn queue, can you believe that?”

  “Did you explain how you’re feeling?”

  “Yes, she told me it’s normal for a newborn to cry all the time. I know that’s a load of bullshit. She’s fobbing me off as if I’m a brand-new mother who hasn’t been through this before.”

  “Can you demand a new midwife? Ask for someone else to come and see you?”

  “No. They told me there’s a shortage in the area.”

  “God, I’m sorry, love. I wish I knew what to say or do to help.”

  “Can’t you take a day off? That would help me out.”

  He groaned. “I wish I could, but Wayne has me stretched in all directions. He’s invested millions in the business and is finally reaping the rewards with the number of new clients knocking on the door.”

  “Can’t he employ extra staff to cope with the influx? Why should you be made to work extra hours every day?” She sniffled.

  “Debs, try not to get upset. I’ll have a word with him. See if I can sort out another holiday soon. How’s that?”

  “Yes, yes, then we could go away and maybe someone will abduct Logan, with any luck.”

  “Jesus, I can’t believe you said that. What the fuck were you thinking, flinging that in my face?”

  Debs broke down and his guilt gene prodded him with a stick. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I would never wish that on him,” she said, between sobs.

  “It’s all right. I know how difficult things are for you at the moment. Do you want me to hire someone to help out, a nanny perhaps? I think we can stretch to one if we cut back elsewhere.”

  “No. That would only highlight what a failure I’ve become.”

  “Nonsense. Of course it wouldn’t. If I get the chance today, I’ll ring around a few agencies, all right? Unless you want to do it for me?”

  “I can’t. I never get a moment’s peace to make a damn phone call.”

  “Okay, leave it with me. Keep your chin up, love. We’ll sort this out, and soon.”

  “I’ll try.” Logan’s crying notched up a level in the background. Martin cringed and hung up.

  While he had every sympathy with Debs, he didn’t have a clue how to make the situation better. He jotted down a note on his pad to remind himself to call a few agencies in his lunch break, if he got one.

  Debs fed Logan, but he refused the milk she offered him from her breast. She began expressing it in the hope that would make a difference, but it didn’t. “What the hell am I supposed to do? Why won’t you eat or sleep? What have I done to deserve this? I can’t cope. Not any more.” She crumpled onto the sofa and tucked the baby on the other end against the back, away from the edge. His crying ceased for a few minutes until he got used to his position and started bawling all over again. She clamped her hands over her ears and shouted, “Stop it! Stop! No more! This is too much! I need to rest!”

  Still, Logan cried. Soon she was crying alongside him. “What am I doing wrong? Why won’t you just stop bloody crying? Why do you hate me so much? Why? Why? Why?”

  She sat up and stared at her son. His tiny features were screwed up in anger and discomfort. She switched on the app on her phone, and a soothing lullaby filled the room, but it did nothing to quell Logan’s crying.

  Debs checked him over for any signs of him hurting. That was the trouble with babies, they couldn’t tell you if they were in pain. After stripping him off, she found nothing, no tell-tale signs that anything was wrong on his skin. So why was he constantly crying, driving her insane? Was this God’s way of punishing her? His way of ensuring she never had another day’s rest in her life after what happened to Adele?

  She picked Logan up and took him upstairs to th
e bathroom. She ran the bath, making sure it was cool enough for him to lie in, then she placed him in the tub. His crying magically stopped. Kneeling down, she smiled and bathed him. He kicked his little legs in the water and even reciprocated her smile now and again, which made her heart sing. “Maybe you’re a water baby, a boy who prefers to spend most of his time in the bath.” She tested her theory by lifting him out of the water. Logan instantly screwed his face up and started crying again. She placed him back in the water and his crying stopped. Well, at least she’d had a breakthrough, of sorts. But how the hell did she handle the situation going forward? She couldn’t leave him in the bath indefinitely, he’d be shrivelled and probably develop gills and scales before long. She shuddered at the thought of spending hour upon hour in the cold bathroom during the winter months.

  After bathing Logan, she got him dressed and placed him back in his cot while she showered and dressed herself. An idea sparked. Maybe a trip to the park will help, a little fresh air might do wonders for him and help settle him down.

  Twenty minutes later, she placed Logan in the pram and set off to the park at the end of their road. There was a lake there, maybe he’d stop crying if he watched the ducks frolicking in the water.

  Standing by the edge of the lake, she took her crying son out of the pram and pointed at the ducks, bobbing about on the water. At first, his cries intensified. Was that because she was holding him? After a while, his focus became drawn to the birds and he began to kick his legs in happiness.

  “Lovely to see them so engrossed at that age,” a passer-by said.

  Debs smiled at the woman. “I needed something to distract him. He won’t stop crying, it’s driving me nuts.”

  The older woman came closer and smiled at Logan. “My grandson was just the same. Have you tried going on car journeys with the little mite?”

  “I’ve tried everything. I think I had a breakthrough moment this morning. I put him in the bath and he stopped crying straight away. Once I took him out, he started up again.” What am I doing, talking to a perfect stranger like this? Don’t be ridiculous!

  “Oh dear, he’s a water baby, obviously. So you thought you’d bring him here to look at the ducks on the lake. That was a great idea.”

  The kindness in the woman’s tone put her at ease. “I’ve run out of ideas, this was my last shot. I can’t stay here all day though, can I?”

  “What about getting a paddling pool for the garden? You do have a garden, don’t you, dear?”

  “Yes, that’s a brilliant suggestion. I’ll order one off the internet today. Thank you so much for your help.” She felt relieved to be speaking with this woman who clearly had years of experience behind her.

  “It’s no problem. Have you thought about joining a Mother and Baby club? How old is he?”

  “He’s only three months. No, I haven’t, I’m a little rusty about things like that. Do you think they help?”

  “Undoubtedly, they’ll offer the support you need to cope with the tears and temper tantrums. They’re sure to follow the crying stage, in my experience.” She chuckled. “Something to look forward to, eh? There should be one around here somewhere, would you like me to check on my phone for you?”

  Debs jiggled her son up and down, doing her best to keep him quiet a while longer. “Would you? That would be so kind of you. I’ll be forever in your debt. I’ve had a nightmare of a time with him lately. I think I’ve possibly reached my limit.”

  “We’ll get you sorted. Hang in there. All mothers feel that way now and again. Let me have a look for you.” The woman scrolled through her phone and then typed something in. “Ah, yes, here we are, The Gingerbread Club.” She jabbed a thumb over her shoulder. “Down that road there, if I’m not mistaken, I’ve passed it many a time out on a walk.”

  “That’s fantastic. I’ll take a detour, drop in on my way back home. I can’t thank you enough for stopping and talking to me.”

  “You’re most welcome. Can’t bear to see a new mother struggling.”

  “My first child was an absolute gem, compared to this monkey.”

  “Aww… I’m sure you’re the perfect mother. There are some women who wouldn’t bother bringing their son out for a visit to the park. You’re to be congratulated, dear, at least you’re trying to address the problem. What about your midwife, no luck there?”

  “She’s rushed off her feet. Short staffed, apparently.”

  “To be expected after the pandemic, a lot of lockdown babies being born, I suppose.”

  “I never thought about that. Yes, you’re probably right. Thank you again for your help.”

  “No problem. Maybe I’ll see you around here again one day. I quite often cut through on my way into town.”

  “I’ll look out for you in the future.” Debs waved and smiled as the woman set off. She returned her attention to her son and pointed at the ducks gathering by the riverbank, about to hop out of the water. He gurgled and smiled. A completely different child to the one she’d been living a tormented life with for the past three months. They stayed there for the next hour. She placed Logan in and out of his pram at regular intervals before drifting around the lake for a different view to keep him amused. Finally, Logan fell asleep, and Debs took the opportunity to head off in the direction of The Gingerbread Club.

  At the end of a row of terraced houses, she located the prefab-type building that was set in a concrete playground. Debs opened the door and was greeted by a young woman with a friendly smile on her pretty face. She had a small child hanging off one leg and was holding another in her arms. They looked identical.

  “Hi, I’m after a little advice really.”

  “Come in, take a seat. I’ll close the door. I’m used to having these two clinging to me all day long.”

  “Are they yours?”

  “Unfortunately, yes.” She smirked.

  “Twins?”

  “Yep, how can you tell?” The woman laughed. “I’m Monica, by the way.”

  “Deborah, sorry, Debs. And this is Logan. He’s asleep right now, which is a rarity for him, I can assure you.”

  “Ah, one of the world’s biggest criers, is he?”

  “You could say that,” Debs replied. She instantly felt relaxed talking to the woman. Maybe this will be a good place to visit after all.

  “Now then, how can I help?” Monica placed the children on the activity mat beside her and sat behind the reception desk.

  “I was wondering if you have an opening for me.”

  “Usually, I’d say no, but you’re in luck. One of our ladies has just moved out of the area and left an opening. How old is your son?”

  “He’s only three months old. I need something to stimulate him, I think. I’ve had a terrible couple of months, but had a eureka moment this morning when I figured out putting him in a warm bath seemed to help.”

  “Ah, that old trick, yes, it works wonders. Glad you finally discovered something to ease your stress. These two were a bloody nightmare when they were younger.”

  “Ouch, double the trouble, eh?”

  “Yes, indeed. Anyway, enough about me. Let’s get some information down and I’ll give you a pack to take away with you. Mull it over, see if it’s the sort of thing you’re looking for and then come back to me.”

  “What are the charges?”

  “We try to keep things cheap around here. It’s currently four pounds fifty for a two-hour stint. That’s usually enough for the children and the parents alike. Does that sound all right for you?”

  “Yes, I think I can manage that okay. I’ll cut back on the shopping for a week or so.”

  The woman smiled. “That’s the ticket. Hubby won’t know any different, will he?”

  “No, not that he’s home much to notice, anyway. He works exceptionally long hours, leaving me to handle the baby most days on my own.”

  Monica wrinkled her nose. “So you don’t get any reprieve, is that it?”

  “Yes, it’s not his fault, I’m not blami
ng him.”

  “I know, I didn’t take it that way. If he’s the breadwinner, then needs must, right? We’ve all been there. My hubby works shifts, it’s not easy for either of us, especially with these two on the go all the time. This place has been an absolute godsend to us, as a family.”

  “That’s wonderful to hear.”

  “Why don’t I show you around? You don’t have to decide today; you might think it’s not worth the money, although I assure you it is. The support you receive is second to none, I promise you.”

  “Thanks, I’d like that.” Logan woke up, Debs swooped him up into her arms.

  “Let me ask Janet to mind these two for me for five minutes, I’ll be right back.”

  Monica picked up her two children and walked into another room off to the left. She returned childless a few seconds later and gestured for Debs to join her. “Right, this is where we all gather and hang out when the kids are all distracted enough to be left, for a few minutes’ breather. There’s a vending machine over in the corner there. Some of the ladies love to bake and often bring in homemade treats. We all get along great, I think you’re going to fit in here, and Logan will gobble up the interaction, which in the end will make your life so much more bearable.”

  Debs smiled. “I feel much more relaxed already.” She jigged Logan on her hip and said, “You’re going to love it here, little man, aren’t you?” His eyes were everywhere, taking in all the bright colours on the walls and on the floor around him.

  “He seems to be very aware of his surroundings, that usually indicates their need to explore. Does he have many toys at home?” Monica held up a hand and chuckled. “I know, dumb question. All babies are inundated with a lot of toys from friends and family, right?”

  “He’s got a few, not many, to be honest. Maybe that’s the problem. I should get him some more, if you think the stimulation will help?”