Forever in my Heart: Book 3 in My Heart Series

by Aleya Michelle

  “Want to talk about it?” he questions since he knows Stacey is preggers, he also knows just how much I love Roxy, so I can see in his eyes that he understands my pain.

  “How the fuck do I deal with this Pete?” I question him feeling disheartened.

  “I mean things are amazing with Rox, it is more than I ever wished and thought possible, so why the fuck does something bad always have to happen?” I ask him getting enraged the more I talk about it.

  “God only knows Kade, but whatever happens you guys are in it together. Roxy looks at you the exact same way you look at her, bro; she is not going anywhere in a hurry that’s for sure,” he exclaims with honesty. It makes me grin, I guess knowing I will have Roxy’s support is what is getting me through each day.

  “I just hate myself for doing this to her. Goddammit, one fucking night is all it was, I’m so bloody unlucky.”

  “Yep, just how drunk were you?” he interrogates me and shakes his head at my irresponsibility no doubt.

  “You sound like my old man,” I point out at his comment.

  “Put it this way, I remember bits and pieces and flashes before and after the sex, then creeping out of her room but that is it, nothing more. I was never that type of guy Pete, but I remember just how badly I was hurting back then.” I recount those miserable months without Roxy.

  “We all do fucked up shit. It’s about taking responsibility now, Kade. And when you become a father, even if it’s with Stacey, the baby will be the only thing that matters, trust me,” Pete declares and shit that hits home. I needed to hear it; the baby is all that matters.

  “Yep,” I reply thinking about having a cute little surfer boy or daddy’s girl following me around at the beach is a nice vision, just not with Stacey in the picture.

  At that thought I down my next shot, then chase it down with my beer.

  We spend the next hour playing two games of pool and I’m not noticing how much I drink.

  I don’t get legless very often but what is it about drinking that makes me not able to stop? The refreshing taste to start and then of course the feeling mixed together is my guess. The pub has definitely helped with my mood and made me feel more relaxed.

  Well, that and the shots. I’m feeling a little numb now, but my stupid brain makes me think of Roxy home alone, then it reminds me that she is probably thinking about Stacey’s having my baby.

  Does she secretly hate me for making her life so complicated?

  Will she leave me when it all gets to be too much?

  “Fuck, Pete, now I’m feeling drunk. Why the hell did I have to sleep with that chick?” I question my best mate since we were nine.

  “Who knows Kado, shit happens. Don’t beat yourself up about it,” he replies being supportive now after the last lecture. I have to realise what’s done is done, even if I would give anything to erase it so that it never fucking happened in the first place.

  “I have to beat myself up about it. I don’t want to be a father to her baby. I had finally stopped freaking out about having a baby with Roxy sometime down the track, sooner rather than later actually, and now this fucking happens.”

  “Roxy will treat the child like her own anyway, Kade, so don’t worry about that,” he assures me. I know without a doubt, Roxy is a selfless woman; she would go above and beyond for me.

  “There are no guarantees Roxy is really going to stick around, Pete. I mean if Stacey gets her back up, you should see the bitchy side of her; life will get way more complicated,” I announce to him feeling infuriated and melancholy all at once.

  I feebly stand and feel myself sway slightly as I make my way back to the bar. “Jim Beam and coke and another tequila shot. Thanks, Joe,” I say trying to sound less drunk than I feel.

  I’m fucking wishing I didn’t have to work tomorrow. Good thing I changed my early classes, thinking I might be having a late one.

  Ten am is a much more reasonable time to be there instead of seven-thirty. If my swaying and demeanour are anything to go by I will be paying for it tomorrow.

  Roxy

  I happily spend the night in my comfy pyjamas, as Kade and Pete go like the Aussie men they are to the local pub.

  I decide to catch up on all the fun things I haven’t done for a while, like excitedly surf the net for clothes, shoes and jewellery.

  The important things in a woman’s life right?

  I must admit internet shopping is still just as fun. I am thrilled when a few of my favourite stores have some amazing sales right now.

  Working full time in the studio I don’t get to the shops as much as I would like and I need my shopping fix. Doesn’t every woman.

  I am delighted when I find a gorgeous black leather Mimco wallet, it has shiny gold plating and a signature Mimco turn lock, and it’s on sale. Yay!

  I am in shopper’s heaven when I find sparkling glass crystal drop earrings with black, white and silver crystals. I have been looking with no luck for earrings to go with my little black dress.

  But my absolute favourite buy of the night are new animal print, leather heels. They are so damn sexy in cobalt blue with black print. Absolutely fucking perfect.

  I am beaming from my fantastic find and purchase so I send Jem a pic. I am in love with my finds.

  Bargain really at $195 for the three items.

  Sales are the best thing since sliced bread!

  Oh that’s right it’s Jemma’s birthday next month, I think to myself.

  What to get the fussiest woman on the planet, who has every little thing her heart desires?

  Hmm...

  I put my faith in Google, as I type in stage shows, concerts, and gifts for friends.

  This is it, it’s perfect!

  Concert tickets to see Nelly, rapper extraordinaire for Jemma and I at the entertainment centre, with Lupe Fiasco and Bob as the supporting acts. Just sensational.

  We should make a night of it. I start humming to Nelly’s “It’s Getting Hot in Here” as I purchase the tickets.

  Thank God for my credit card, I shouldn’t be spending anymore after the tickets but I find a few more items from The Iconic. Best online store ever!

  Mostly work clothes, including a sheer, cream coloured silk blouse with a high waisted chocolate coloured skirt, and strappy brown heels to match. What, I needed them.

  After my shop-till-I-drop for a couple of hours, I raid the pantry for salt and vinegar chips and then the fridge where I grab a new guava flavoured spritz; just the thing for unwinding and relaxing.

  Just after eleven I can’t keep my eyes open so I decide to go to bed. I really thought the boys would have been home by now. Hopefully, Kade doesn’t have too many surfing clients in the morning if he will be hung-over.

  I must have crashed when my head hit the pillow since I don’t remember even falling asleep, but I startle awake at one in the morning when I’m awoken by a loud bang at the front door. Feeling a little frightened I jump out of bed, obviously startled by the sound, but then I relax when I realise it must be Kade and Pete. Poor Foxy is startled too.

  Wanting to make sure that is them, I quickly run to the front door and peek through the peephole, where I see Pete. Thank God it is them and no one else.

  “Oh, hey Pete, I’m just unlocking the door now. I’m assuming Kade is with you?” I question, as I couldn’t see him through the peephole.

  “Yep, he is here, Rox,” Pete tells me as I open the door and see him holding up a very floppy looking Kade.

  “Although, he is quite inebriated,” he remarks looking at me a little uncertain of how I will react, by his facial expression.

  I can’t help but giggle loudly at the humorous sight before me. Kade is very intoxicated and if it wasn’t for Pete and the wall, I don’t think he could stand by himself.

  “Heeeeyyyy Roxxxxxyyyyy,” Kade proclaims to me in a very slurred voice, and then he stumbles in my direction.

  “Here sheeeee is, my gorrrrrgeous girlffffriend,” he slurs loudly now invading my personal s
pace by hugging me way to tightly and reeking of bourbon. But it still makes me laugh.

  “Hey Roxy, um... he kind of drowned his sorrows went on to down a few shots and then a few bourbons. I guess he has shit on his mind. Sorry to bring him home like this,” Pete states obviously sticking up for his best friend and trying to keep him out of trouble.

  “I totally get that Pete, thanks for looking out for him,” I remember all too well how I was back in the day, drinking to get smashed and to forget.

  “Will you be right with him? Emma is going to kill me for getting home so late. I bet Crystal has been keeping her up half the night,” he confesses and it makes me smile, he cares so much about his wife and baby.

  Kade stumbles back into the wall, leaning in an awkward angle and looking likes he’s having trouble focusing.

  “Yep, I’ve got it, Pete; you go home to your gorgeous wife and baby.” I grab onto Kade’s arm and start to manoeuvre him through the doorway.

  “This way boozy,” I say to him smiling to myself at his new nickname. It’s pretty catchy and I won’t let him live it down in a hurry.

  “Who are you calling boooozey?” he chuckles and slurs back to me.

  “You, Mr. Thomas,” I reply lightheartedly. I can’t be mad at this cute drunken man; we all do it sometimes.

  “I love you Roxxxyyyy!” He looks over in my direction, and then holds my hands tightly.

  “I’m so fucking sorry,” he says to me sounding dejected. Then he starts to weep and I see tears flowing down his cheeks.

  My poor beautiful surfer is so vulnerable right now; he is confused and overcome with grief over this whole baby shit.

  I slowly walk him over to the lounge where I sit him down and we embrace. His cheek is against my chest as his tears keep flowing.

  “Shh baby, it’s okay. I am here, I’m not going anywhere, Kade, I promise. I love you,” I tell him for reassurance and comfort.

  “Don’t you worry babbbbbyyyyyyy, we will have plenty of kidsssssss of our own,” he adds and now my tears start. Knowing how upset this is making him really shatters my heart.

  That fake peroxide bitch will not be in our lives if I can help it.

  Kade

  Eyes stinging, body aching, not to mention the sick feeling...

  Worst hangover ever.

  Shit. I wonder how much I actually drank last night. I count at least five shots that I can remember and ten beers easy, fuck.

  Ugh, I feel atrocious.

  “Good morning boozy,” I hear Roxy’s voice and a pleasant giggle come from her direction.

  “Shit Rox, I’m sorry about last night,” I state as I start to remember a couple things, like almost falling over when I got home.

  “Aw baby you are not in trouble. I understand you needed to drown your sorrows, and damn I think you flooded them Kade,” she jokes and cracks up laughing again.

  God I love this woman.

  “By the look of you, I think you may just pay for it for the next couple days though,” she adds and kisses me on my cheek.

  “Here’s some Panadol and water. I need to get to work baby. What time is your first client?” she questions.

  “Oh fuck, um I organised a later one for ten,” I answer panicking for a minute about what time was.

  Honestly, I think I would spew on my client, especially on a board when I feel this nauseated.

  “Don’t stress baby, just rest. You look so pale. I will check on you a bit later.” I look at her dressed for work and fuck she looks so classy all in black. Although my girl could wear a potato sack and still look gorgeous.

  “You look beautiful, Rox. I love you now and forever,” I manage to say through my ill feeling state.

  “Oh Kade, even though you look like shit today, and smell even worse, you are a keeper, baby. I love you too Mr. Thomas.” She gives me one last cuddle and kiss before she heads off to work, leaving me smirking.

  Chapter 9

  Lake House Party

  Kade’s birthday is on the October Long weekend, so after much convincing on my behalf, we are throwing a party, or as Kade puts it a piss up. Men!

  It will be more of a soiree than just getting drunk, well I hope so anyway. With the help of his sister Ebony, and of course Jemma, we will make it at least a little classy, while still keeping it casual.

  I excitedly send out a few text messages, not the classiest of birthday invitations, but it will do for our last minute celebration. Being the graphic design artist that I am, I even attach balloons and a surfboard to make the invitation more decorative.

  I also take the initiative and phone Jeremy, to see if he wants to come. Also maybe a little wishful thinking on my part but maybe he and his band could play a few of their songs and make it more of a celebration and birthday bash for my man and the small amount of guests we invited.

  But I pretty much expect him to have plans or a gig lined up for the busy weekend, they are worldwide stars and don’t get much free time on their hands anymore.

  “Hey bro, how are you?” I ask Jeremy when he answers I called his apartment that Seline and him are living in together. It is a stunning apartment with views of the Sydney harbour, immaculate interior and brand new state of the art furniture and appliances. No expense spared now that he is making the big bucks.

  “Oh Roxy, it’s great to hear from you Sis. I am bloody good,” he replies in his typical Australian manner. That is another reason I am sure he and Kade get along as well as they do.

  “How are you and Kade going?” he questions now acting as the protective brother that he is.

  “We are fabulous, just busy. You know, the usual; work and careers seem to get in the way of time together.”

  “Yep, I hear you with that one,” he replies and I know that was an issue for Seline at the start. He was working all of the time and travelling, but now she seems happy to tag along, especially if it’s in a great location.

  “Well, it’s Kade’s birthday next weekend and I was wondering if you and Seline were free? We are holding a little party at the lake house for him,” I ask him as a guest to start with.

  “Oh, that sounds cool, Seline and I are free so count us in,” he replies.

  “Awesome bro, be great to have you there. Do you and the band have many gigs before your tour starts next month?” I ask him sussing out his availability.

  “No, actually we only have two booked. We need the rest and practice to be the best we can be,” he answers.

  “Any chance the guys would be free to come too, maybe play a few songs? We will provide the food and drinks, Jeremy, and I would totally owe you,” I beg.

  “Let me ring them and find out, even if they don’t come I will go solo for you Rox, plus I owe you more than I can count on both hands, or have you forgotten?”

  “Can’t say that I have forgotten about the gun to my head Jeremy but I have forgiven you much like The Corrs song “Forgiven not Forgotten” I joke half teasing him.

  “Ha, ha good one Rox. You have always been fluent in fucking sarcasm.” I love his one-liners.

  “And you my dear brother have always been fluent in fucking cursing,” I can’t help but add as I giggle and he chuckles from my ripper of a reply.

  “That’s enough laughter for my week. I’ll be in touch about the band Sis, arduous amigos,” he proclaims.

  “Chow for now, bro,” I finish off the conversation and end the call.

  I put down the phone smiling at the casual and humorous banter that is so carefree between my brother and I.

  Considering less than two years ago, there were sharks threatening our lives for money.

  Shit doesn’t life change? This time for the better.

  Kade and I want to have some alone time, so we plan to have the Friday night together at the lake house. There is nothing better than chilling on his boat in the afternoon sun; where there may or may not have been a bit of boat action and skinny dipping after the sun went down.

  Ebony and Dave are the first ones to a
rrive promptly at eleven the next day, while I’m in the middle of scrubbing the bathrooms, having already tidied up and vacuumed.

  “It’s so good to see you Eb, we haven’t had quality time together in such a long time, and tonight is going to be super fun,” I tell Ebony honestly and smile at the evening ahead.

  “Oh, I know Rox. I was just saying to Dave how it has been forever since we saw you guys,” Ebony answers me sweetly and gives me a bear hug.

  “Well I won’t give you the details but your brother rarely lets me leave the bedroom in all honesty,” I joke to her, but it really is the truth, considering I had to drag him to the movies the other week.

  Oh yeah, that ended in sex in the bathroom. Whoops.

  “Eww Roxy that is way too much info right there,” Ebony replies laughing and shaking her head at my confession.

  “Well, I guess it’s back to normal then, you guys haven’t changed one bit,” Dave chimes in.

  Kade comes over from behind and wraps his arms around my sweat covered tank and shorts and kisses my neck.

  “Well, who can blame me, my girlfriend is a hottie. What can I say?” he exclaims and I can’t help but laugh out loud.

  “Aww Kade, you are pretty hot yourself,” I tell him and turn into his arms as he pecks a quick kiss on my lips.

  “On that note, we will unpack and start with the food and decorations,” Ebony states as she disappears into the guest room.

  “See how people disappear when you enter a room Kade,” I tease him, one of my favourite past times.

  “How about we disappear into our room for a bit Rox? You look sexy all sweaty,” he confesses, and then gives me the seductive glance that turns my legs to jelly.

  It takes every ounce of my being to refuse him.

  “No way, we have work to do, but I will go for a quick swim after I finish cleaning. This humidity is stifling, wonder if the people in Antarctica realise how lucky they are?” I cackle at my response, when I realise freezing my tits off is probably not the best alternative to the Australian heat.