by Caitlyn Dare
He pulls back to look at me. “You really believe that don’t you?”
“Of course I do. Everyone deserves a second chance, Cole.”
Silence settles between us. His eyes flash with torment, but I don’t push him. Whatever demons he needs to exorcise, Cole has to do it on his own terms.
So I wait.
And wait.
Eventually, he lets out a strained breath. “I killed him, Hadley. I put a gun to his head and I...” Cole shatters in front of me. He grabs his hair and tugs, trying to fight the tears pooling in his eyes.
“Shh.” I pull him to me. “It’s going to be okay. Everything will be okay.”
Hearing Cole break is one of the most heart-wrenching things I’ve ever experienced, and I’ve lived through a lot.
We lie like that, him curled around me, seeking comfort, for what feels like hours.
Eventually, he inhales a ragged breath and peeks up at me. “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t ever be sorry, Cole. Not with me. I meant what I said to you. I love you. I’m head over heels in love with you. Nothing you say or do is ever going to change that. Just promise me that if things get to be too much or too hard, you won’t shut me out. Because I’m not su—”
“I promise. I want to let you in.”
I reach out and smooth my finger over his brow. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
He frowns for a second before a look of pure horror washes over him. “I’m not ready. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready.”
“That’s okay, I just want you to know I’m here.”
“I don’t deser—”
I push my finger against his lips. “No more of that. This is a fresh start, for both of us.”
His eyes drop to my stomach, and he splays his hand there again. “For the three of us.”
My heart.
It’s so full it feels like it could explode.
There is so much we still have to talk about, decisions we need to make about the future. But for now, I’m happy to just enjoy this and take comfort in the fact that Cole is here.
He’s here.
Donny Lopez is no longer a threat. James seems set on finally doing right by his sons.
And we’re having a baby.
A baby.
Every time I think about it, I’m overcome with a sense of sheer panic. But there’s something else too. Something under all the disbelief and confusion and fear. Something that makes me wonder if this is my second shot at doing things right.
I’ve lost everything—my family, the boy I thought I’d have a future with—but now I have something to care for, to nurture and love.
They say when things get dark and you feel like there’s no way out, you need to look for the small flickers of light.
Maybe this is our sign.
Our hope.
Our salvation.
The next afternoon, we’re sitting in the pool house. The guys are eating leftovers while I suck discreetly on ice chips.
We decided last night, in the cover of darkness, not to tell them about the baby yet. And I swore Remi to silence. But it doesn’t stop Cole rubbing my stomach every time he’s near.
“Stop,” I hiss when he starts doing it again.
He nuzzles my hair, sending shivers shooting through me.
Cole is different. Something changed yesterday. I know it isn’t an instant fix, but it doesn’t stop me soaking up this side of him.
“I need to get laid,” Conner grumbles, flicking his eyes between Ace and Remi, who are also curled up on the couch together, and me and Cole.
“Don’t you have a booty call list?” Remi asks, stuffing another cookie in her mouth.
“I have... options.” He smirks, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and I feel a pang of guilt.
“Maybe you should go back to the Heights and—”
“Leave it,” he growls at Ace.
“What?” Remi gawks. “Why would he do that?”
“There was a gi—”
“Ace, I’m serious, bro. Don’t make me beat your ass.”
“Think you could take me?”
“Don’t you know it’s the happy, smiley ones you need to watch? We might seem chill, but inside we’re a ticking time bomb of rage.”
Ace frowns before exploding with laughter. “You’re a fucking idiot.”
Conner flips him off.
“You should tell them,” I whisper to Cole. He hasn’t said a word about Colton U being interested.
He ignores me, sliding his lips against mine. I melt against him, our tongues tangling together. It’s the first time he’s ever kissed me like this in front of them, and my heart soars.
Someone clears their throat and I start to break away, but Cole curves his hand around the back of my neck and keeps kissing me. Claiming me.
When I told him last night that I loved him, he didn’t say it back. And part of me wonders if it’s because he’s not sure if he feels the same or because he doesn’t know what love is supposed to be like.
But this kiss?
This kiss tells me everything I need to know.
He feels it.
Even if he can’t say the words.
Cole shifts over me, pressing me back into the chair, and Conner cusses under his breath, making him tense. He presses his brow to mine, and I smile.
“Hi,” I say.
“Guess we got carried away, huh?”
Pressing my hand against his face, I breathe him in. “We can finish this later.”
His eyes flare with heat, and he lets out a muted groan.
“If you two are—”
“Yeah, yeah,” Cole grits out, dropping back into the chair and rearranging me on his lap. I curl into his chest, meeting Remi’s amused gaze.
“What?” I mouth, and she shakes her head playfully.
“So, there’s something I want to tell you all.” Cole’s grip on my waist tightens and I rest my hand over his, letting him know I’m right here.
“Whatever it is, we’ve got your back.” Ace nods.
“It’s not bad...” He stumbles over the words. “Coach called and, well, I guess there’s a college interested in me.”
“Holy shit, Cole, that’s huge.” Remi beams.
“Yeah, I mean... it might not work out. I might not be what they’re looking for...”
“Fuck that,” Conner says, “of course they’ll want you. This is a good thing, bro. Own it.”
“Yeah, but college. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”
“You deserve this,” I say, kissing his jaw.
“Hadley is right,” Ace adds. “Donny is gone. He can’t hurt us anymore. We need to draw a line and move forward. I’ve got a good thing going with G at the auto shop, Conner is... well, he’s Con—”
“Hey, I have prospects.” Conner flips him off, but Ace ignores him, keeping focused on Cole.
“And you have football. You just need to keep your head down and stay focused.”
Remi catches my eye, and I see all the questions running through her head.
What about the baby?
Do we have a plan?
What about my future?
I avert my gaze, ignoring the trickle of dread. It’s a baby, not a life sentence.
Maybe I can go to Colton U with Conner. If I can save enough of my allowance from my parents, I might be able to make it work. Because once they find out, I have no doubt they’ll cut me off for good.
“Hey, what’s up?” Cole brushes my cheek with his nose.
“Nothing.” The lie sours on my tongue.
Cole’s future is just getting started... a baby will only hold him back.
Won’t it?
“I’m not feeling so good,” I climb off his lap, avoiding his narrowed gaze. “I think I’m going to lie down for a little bit.”
“Are you okay?” Remi asks. “Should I come with you?”
“I’ll be okay. I’ll see you all later.” Without another word
, I hurry out of the pool house and dash across the yard to the house. James and Sarah are at some luncheon today, so the house is empty as I make my way upstairs.
I reach my room and hesitate, glancing down the hall to Cole’s. Part of me wants to go in there, but I decide against it and slip into the guest room.
Suddenly, everything feels too much. It’s like I can’t breathe.
Climbing gingerly on the bed, l lie down and grab a pillow, clutching it to my chest as I try to regulate my breathing.
We can figure this out.
But what if we can’t? I try to ignore the little voice, but it only grows, getting so loud I screw my eyes shut and try to block it out.
I don’t hear the door open or Cole enter the room until he’s looming over me like a dark storm cloud.
“Dove?” he chokes out, and I open my eyes. “What the fuck just happened?”
“I... nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me, just don’t. Not after everything.” Hurt flashes across his face.
“I’m freaking out,” I admit.
“Okay.” His brows crinkle as he sits on the edge of the bed.
“You have a bright future ahead of you, Cole. If things go well with Colton U, that could be your ticket out of here. Your ticket to something better. You don’t need me and—”
“Stop,” he grits out.
“I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to go without us.” Well, I would, but I can’t tell him that. “This is my problem, not yo—“
“Hadley, I said stop.” His eyes turn black as he pins me to the bed with a hard stare.
“B-but—”
“You really think I’d abandon you like that?”
“I-I don’t know. This could be the start of everything for you. You don’t want me and a baby holding you back.”
“I need you, Dove.” The words are simple, so pure, and relief washes over me.
“You do?” I sit up, bringing my face to his.
“Yeah, I do. I thought you might have figured it out by now.”
“Figured what out?” I say, because I need to be sure.
“I love you, Hadley. I don’t know how or when it happened, but I fucking love you. And when I think about going off to college and playing ball, it scares the shit out of me.” He slides his hand to my neck. “I can’t do this, I can’t do any of it without you by my side. So yeah, I need you, Dove. I need you so much that the idea of not having you with me makes it feel like I can’t breathe.”
“But the baby...” I say, because I need time to process everything he’s just said to me.
Cole loves me.
He. Loves. Me.
“We’ll figure it out. Once I know what Colton U has to say, I’ll talk to James. He’ll help, I know he will.”
“You hate James.”
“Yeah, but I’ll do this for you.” Cole lowers his face, brushing his mouth over mine. “There isn’t a single thing I wouldn’t do for you.”
Chapter Fourteen
Cole
“Pack your stuff up,” I say, my forehead resting against Hadley’s.
She stiffens in my hold, her eyes going wide at my words.
“You’re kicking me out?”
“Yep,” I state, releasing her and standing from the bed.
“Cole, I thought—”
“Hurry up.”
Her lips open and close as she watches me pick up her bag that’s sitting on the floor.
“Uh… okay…”
She rushes around for a few seconds, collecting up the bits she’s left out before coming to join me.
“All that you just said. Didn’t you...” she trails off.
“Mean it?” I ask, twisting the fingers of my free hand with hers as I tug her from the room.
She goes toward the stairs, but I go in the opposite direction and head for my room.
I don’t give her a chance to argue. Instead, I pull her through my open door, drop her bag to the floor, and back her up against the wood.
As I stare deep into her eyes, my heart beats wildly in my chest. “I meant every fucking word of it.” My lips brush hers—gently at first, but before long our lips part and our tongues join in.
The belongings she was holding fall to the floor at our feet as I hitch her leg up around my waist.
“Cole,” she gasps when my length presses against her.
“Fuck, Hadley,” I moan, my teeth grazing down her neck as her hands disappear under my shirt, her nails scratching down my back.
My cock hardens at the thought of stripping her naked and feasting on her body.
“Cole, please,” she begs.
My hands still on her ass. I know what she wants. Fuck knows I want it too, but…
“What’s wrong?” she asks, sensing that something isn’t right.
Pulling away, I look into her hungry eyes before taking a step back to run my hands through my hair.
“Cole… I thought you said you wanted this.” Concern covers her face as her brows draw together.
“I do. Fuck, Hadley. I do, so fucking bad.”
“So what’s the problem?” she asks, pushing from the wall, closing the space between us.
I run my eyes down her body, desperate to feel it pressed up against mine.
“I’m…” My eyes find hers once more and my words falter, not knowing how to explain to her how I’m feeling, how terrified I am.
“Don’t hide from me, Cole. Not when we’re just starting to get somewhere.”
My lips part, but the words get stuck on my tongue.
“Don’t you want me?” Her fingers wrap around the bottom of her loose-fitting dress and she pulls it up and over her head. In seconds, the fabric is in a pile on the floor and she’s standing in front of me in just her underwear.
“Shit, Dove. I always want you.”
My eyes dart around her naked skin, not knowing which bit to focus on first. Her full tits strain against the lace of her bra, desperate to be released.
I follow the lines over her body, down over her smooth stomach, trying to imagine how she might look in a few months, swollen with our baby. My heart pounds in my chest at the thought of her carrying our baby, growing a tiny person we made together.
A part of the two of us is right there, inside her belly.
A child who will never experience what we both did as kids. It’s our chance to really start over, to be the people we really want to be.
We might be young, but standing here now, I know we’ll figure out a way to do it.
I’ll give up my football dream and get a job. I’ll do anything to make sure the two of them are happy and have everything they need.
“So what’s the problem?” Hadley closes the space between us and reaches out, running her fingers over the obvious erection that’s tenting my pants.
My breathing catches as she squeezes gently. “Fuck,” I hiss, starting to lose the grip I had on my restraint.
“Talk to me, Cole. Tell me where your head’s at.”
“I… I’m scared.”
Her eyes soften slightly at my words.
“Trust me, Cole,” she says with a nervous laugh. “So am I. But I need you. I need this, and I know you do too.”
“I don’t want to hurt you. Hurt our baby.”
“Aww, Cole.” Her hands cup my face as she stares into my eyes with so much love that it makes my chest ache.
She loves me.
Me.
I shake my head slightly, still unable to believe it despite the fact she’s said it a few times now.
“Our little raspberry is safe. You won’t hurt him, or me. I promise.”
“Him?”
She shrugs. “It just felt right.”
Our breaths mingle as we stand there, staring at each other for long minutes.
“I promise, you won’t hurt us. I need you, please.”
She grips the bottom of my shirt, and with a little help from me she pulls it over my head. The second she releases the fabric, her h
ands land on my skin, exploring every inch of me.
Her touch burns, but in such a good way.
“Fuuuck,” I groan when she drops to her knees and starts working my belt free.
I can’t take my eyes off her as she pulls it free of my pants, placing it on the floor before opening my fly and pushing the fabric to my hips.
My cock springs free, bobbing before her. Her eyes lock on it, and she licks her lips.
“How long have you had this?” she asks, lifting one finger and teasing the piercing through the tip.
“Almost a year.”
Her eyes flick up to mine and her brow creases, probably wondering what kind of person pierces a seventeen-year-old. It’s just another reminder of how different our lives have been.
“In the Heights, you can get whatever you want. No questions asked,” I explain.
She nods, her eyes dropping once more, but she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she leans forward, teasing me with the tip of her tongue.
“Hadley, fuck.” My fingers thread into her hair as I gently pull her forward, needing much more from her.
“Take what you need, Cole. Don’t hold back. I want all of you.”
“Dove,” I warn.
“I mean it, Cole. I can handle it. I need it. Make me yours. Mark me, ruin me, break me.”
“Fuck, Little Dove. You don’t know what you're asking for.”
“Don’t I? You’ve already shown me that side of you. The knife, the Twizzlers. I need it all, Cole.”
My fingers tighten in her hair to the point it must sting, but all she does is smile.
“What the fuck are you waiting for?” I bark, my voice rough, giving away exactly what I need.
I move her forward, her lips part, and she hungrily takes me to the back of her mouth.
“More,” I demand, pushing deeper.
She shifts a little on the floor, getting a better angle before she takes me even farther into her throat.
Her eyes remain on mine, and I watch as tears pool at the corners of them. But they’re not the kind I hate seeing, they’re the kind I love.
The kind I want to drown in.
“So good,” I groan as she pulls back but immediately sucks me in again. “So fucking good.”
Her mouth is so hot, so wet, so fucking perfect that my orgasm approaches faster than I thought possible.
