by Matt Shaw
“Stacey,” Kim lied as she tried to act as cool as possible given the circumstances.
“You can call me Roger,” replied the stranger.
Kim smiled trying to make amends for upsetting him, “Pleased to meet you.”
Roger fired up the car’s engine and slowly pulled away from the kerb. Kim didn’t ask where they were going – she just presumed he knew what he was doing.
Minutes of silent driving followed before Kim made a move, hoping to hurry Roger into stopping so she could get what had to done finished with quickly. She didn’t want to be taken too far from the Red Light District as she knew she’d only have to walk back after he had left her. “So how did you want to fuck me?” she purred.
Roger took his eyes off the road long enough to follow Kim’s hand; to begin with it was placed over her left breast before sliding down her body and resting between her legs where the sensation caused her to let out a little sigh of pleasure. Roger knew it was a fake sigh and turned his attention back to the road.
“Don’t keep me waiting,” teased Kim as she squirmed around on her hand. She was hiding the fact that she was getting concerned as to why he wasn’t pulling over. Looking past him, out of the window, whenever she felt she could get away with it – she had seen a number of ‘safe’ spots they could have pulled into.
“I want to fuck your arse,” said Roger abruptly and in a very ‘matter of fact’ tone. He took his eyes off the road, again momentarily, to gauge Kim’s reaction. Kim was desperate for the cash; but not that desperate.
She tried to change his mind, “Wouldn’t you rather fuck my tight wet pussy?” Years earlier when an early boyfriend had asked Kim to talk dirty to him she couldn’t do it with a straight face. She always used to stifle laughter between the sentences and the ex-boyfriend would always get angry or lose his erection – or both. As her hand carried on gently rubbing herself she tried her best at keeping ‘sexy’ for the customer, not wishing to put him off and certainly not wishing to lose out on the cash. She knew the words that came from her mouth were ridiculous but she couldn’t lose focus of her goal.
“I told you what I want.” Roger looked back to the road, ignoring the sight of Kim’s vagina as she pulled her panties to one side so he could steal a glimpse. She turned the ‘sexiness’ off and sat up realising that it was a lost cause.
“Look, I’m sorry, I don’t offer that. I think there’s been a misunderstanding,” she said with her heart beginning to beat a little faster as she realised it wasn’t the best situation to be in. With appointments made for her, previously, she had sometimes come face to face with some men that weren’t quite as polite, or nice, as they had first appeared but Leon was always close by if things ever turned particularly nasty. This time Leon was nowhere near her. She hated Leon more than she had ever hated anyone before, despite loving him once, but now she would have given anything to have him back in her life. She looked at Roger who seemed to have not heard anything she had said; or ignored everything she had said. “Why don’t you pull over and let me out?” she said hoping that’s exactly what he was going to do, “I’m sure one of the other ladies is still available. We could go back there, together, and I could talk to them for you. Tell them what a great lay you are and how I wasn’t enough for you,” she stroked his ego hoping that it would be enough for him to crack a smile to her and ease off the accelerator that seemed to have been pressed down harder. “Please slow down.”
“How much is it going to cost me to fuck your arse?” asked Roger as he continued to drive through areas that Kim no longer recognised or knew.
“I told you, I don’t offer that. Please just let me out now,” she begged again but it fell on deaf ears.
“You should have told me that you didn’t offer it before you got into the car. Getting into the car is the same as signing a contract. You agreed to this.”
“I’ve never done this before!” shouted Kim as she began to cry – fearing for her safety. “I’m sorry. Please just let me out! You’re scaring me!” She tried opening the door handle, preferring to jump that continue her car ride into the unknown. The door didn’t budge.
“What?” said Roger as though he had suddenly just come out of a trance. He let off the accelerator and the car instantly slowed to a more sensible speed.
Kim turned to him, still scared, “I’ve never met anyone on the streets like this before. I’m sorry. I didn’t know there were rules to follow. I’ll do anything else you want. I just can’t do that.”
“You’ve never done this before?” repeated Roger trying to make sense of who he had picked up.
“No. I’ve made a mistake, please let me out.”
The car slowed down to a stop and Roger flicked a switch that took the lock off the doors.
He smiled at her, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“That’s it?” asked Kim bemused at the sudden change of mood. Roger nodded. “Thank you,” she said as she climbed from the car, taking full advantage of the mood change.
“My pleasure,” smiled Roger with a glint in his eye.
* * * * *
Kim screamed out loud as she came round. A scream brought on by the fact that she didn’t know where she was. She didn’t know how she got there. A scream brought on by the pain she found herself in. A scream that let the doctors and nurses know that she was awake now.
She sat upright in the hospital bed and surveyed the cubicle surrounding her; various machines – some plugged in and doing things and some left to the side obviously not needed – an intravenous drip hanging to the right of her and feeding fluids into her system via a newly punctured hole in her arm, a plastic container on a trolley with some bloodied swabs floating in a bowl of unknown liquid.
She closed her eyes tight and pulled the drip from her arm. With her eyes closed she remembered; the revving engine, the screech of tyres and the sudden pain caused by the heavy impact. She started to weep as she remembered the stranger standing above her, as she lay on the floor. She recalled when he had picked her up and slammed her face first onto the bonnet of his car.
Kim held her hand up to her face and felt where her cheek had connected with the cold metal of the automobile. She could feel the bruise there. She could feel the intense ache.
Kim jumped when the curtain of the cubicle was pulled to one side by what turned out to be the duty nurse.
“You’ve pulled your drip out,” said the nurse, “we’ll have to get that back in you for a little while longer yet, I’m afraid – you’re very dehydrated.”
Although the nurse wasn’t particularly pleasant – she wasn’t unpleasant either. If anything, she was indifferent.
“Have you taken anything or on any medication?” asked the nurse hoping for a truthful answer that would avoid causing a mixed-reaction with any medication she could give Kim. “Do you remember what happened?” continued the nurse, not really giving Kim a chance to answer – not that Kim even tried to answer. The nurse took hold of Kim’s wrist and checked her pulse against the small silver time-piece that hung on her uniform.
“Do you know what time it is?” asked Kim.
“Ten to two,” said the nurse as she rested Kim’s arm back onto the mattress. “When you are feeling up to it, the officers who found you would like to talk to you.”
Kim’s heart skipped a beat as she wondered as to whether or not they had found him yet, “I don’t want to talk to them.” She tried to buy herself some time. Even if the police just wanted to talk about what had happened – she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to become known to them. If she was known, she’d be easier to find later on.
The nurse tidied random objects away and pushed the trolley to the edge of the cubicle, by the opening in the curtain, before she turned to Kim and said, “The doctor will be along to check on you again soon. Try to rest.” With that, she walked from the cubicle and pulled the curtain to. Kim didn’t know whether she had heard her. She knew she couldn’t wait around to find out either. A qui
ck glance to the left of her revealed her bag resting on a plastic chair. She hoped that her phone was still in there and that Roger hadn’t taken her belongings too.
7
KIM WEPT AS SHE EXPLAINED how the events had unfolded. Kirk hugged her closely, for comfort; as she described the stench of the stranger’s breath as he had whispered in her ear just how much he was enjoying what he was doing to her. Kim shook as she recalled the painful act itself and how she snuck from the hospital to call Kirk – stopping short of explaining why she was so reluctant to speak to the police officers. Kirk didn’t understand why she didn’t want to help them get the monster that had done this to her but he didn’t press her – in her current state he felt as though she had been through enough without having to explain her reasons to him.
Kirk kissed Kim on the forehead, as though he was trying to comfort a little girl, and said, “Everything is alright now. Everything will be alright.” As much as Kim wanted to believe what he said – she knew everything was far from alright. Even so she closed her eyes tight and forced herself to believe it; forced herself to believe that, in the end, everything would be alright. For the first time since he proposed to Tracy, Kirk also believed that there was a good chance of everything being alright.
A couple of quiet minutes passed before Kim slowly pulled herself, reluctantly, from Kirk’s warm, safe embrace. She looked him in the eyes and smiled - a smile that was returned with a real feeling of genuine affection.
“Why are you being so nice to me?” she asked.
Kirk shifted uneasily in his chair. He didn’t know where the question had come from. Where ever it came from – he hoped it would go back there; unanswered.
Kim knew the answer she wanted. She wanted Kirk to say it was because he liked her. She wanted Kirk to say that it was because he wanted to be with her. She wasn’t sure if it was the overall shock of what had happened to her but she felt safe around Kirk. She felt happy around Kirk. Kim knew the answer she wanted. She wanted Kirk to say that he too felt happy around her.
Kirk looked away from Kim, as he searched for an answer that wouldn’t cause her to be upset. He focused on a hanging picture of Tracy – Tracy, the love of his life.
* * * * *
“You make me happy,” said Kirk as he sat opposite Tracy as she admired her engagement ring, letting her bowl of soup get cold.
“That’s it?” she said. “You want to marry me because I make you happy?”
“In a nutshell,” he replied bashfully, looking around the restaurant to see if anyone was listening in on their conversation.
“That’s an awfully big commitment to make to someone who just makes you happy. What else is in that nutshell?” Tracy was teasing him. She knew he wasn’t one for the ‘lovey-dovey’ types of conversation that she enjoyed. She knew it made him uncomfortable and the more uncomfortable he got – the more she enjoyed winding him up about it.
“Lots of things,” he said.
“I don’t believe you,” she continued, “name them.”
Kirk laughed, “Why are you doing this to me?”
“I need to know you are serious about marrying me. I need to know you are going to be a good husband as well as a good dad.”
“I’m going to be a great dad,” he corrected her. He gave her a cheeky smile before finishing his wine and pouring himself another glass, “Can I tempt you?” he asked as he hovered the bottle above her empty wine glass.
“Don’t change the subject – and no you can’t. I think you will be a great husband too,” she said as she put her hand over her glass.
“I’ll be a great husband,” he agreed, “but I’ll be an even better lover.” They both laughed. “Please have a glass of wine so I can get you drunk to prove it.”
“You don’t need to get me drunk…” she said as she teasingly nibbled on her finger.
“I don’t? You mean I’ve been wasting my money for all these years? Damn it!”
“You just need to tell me what makes you want to marry me.”
Kirk’s smile faded from his face, “Can’t I just get you drunk like the good old days?” His mouth cracked a smile as he struggled to keep a straight face.
“Why are you being such a shit?” said Tracy as she gave him a playful slap. “Come on, be serious now.”
Rubbing his wrist, “I’m always serious.”
“So why do you want to marry me?”
“Because I love you!”
“Come on – there must something else about me.”
“You aren’t going to let this go, are you?”
“No. Please tell me.”
Kirk took a deep breathe in, “I love you. I love the way you look. I love your mind. I love your sense of fashion. I love the fact that you can brighten up any room that you walk into. I love the way you just simply complete me.”
Tracy laughed, “That will do. I’m feeling a little sick.”
“Bitch,” said Kirk jokingly. “Eat your soup before it gets cold.”
“Yes, oh master!”
They both laugh again.
* * * * *
Kim followed Kirk’s line of sight and saw the picture of Tracy. Her heart sank, “She’s pretty.”
Kirk didn’t reply. He simply sat and smiled, looking back to Kim. Tracy was pretty. Tracy is pretty. Kirk also thought that Kim was pretty too even though he tried to get the idea out of his head; the idea that he may be attracted to someone other than Tracy.
“What happened to her?” asked Kim knowing full well that the question wouldn’t be answered; just as her previous question about why he was being so nice was also left unanswered.
“I’d rather not talk about it, thanks,” said Kirk making sure the smile didn’t fade. He didn’t want Kim thinking that she had upset him. Despite Tracy, in his mind, not liking the idea of him getting too close to Kim – Kirk had come to realise that he very much enjoyed Kim’s company and he didn’t want to do, or say, anything that could have jeopardised that.
Kim continued to press him oblivious to the fact that her questions about Tracy were a bone of contention, “You know, sometimes its good to talk about things. To get things out in the open – sometimes it can help.”
Without realising it, Kim had set herself up and Kirk seized the opportunity, “So why do you do this?” Kim knew what ‘this’ meant. She knew what Kirk was asking.
Why was she a prostitute?
8
KIM WAS ONLY FOURTEEN YEARS OLD when she first found out her mother, Jackie, had cancer. Jackie had taken the day off work to tend to a doctor’s appointment that would take her through the results that she was waiting for. As the doctor sat opposite her, explaining the ins and outs of the disease and possible treatments they could offer – Jackie had heard nothing. Instead she sat there believing she was going to die imminently. It wasn’t the thought of dying that scared her but rather the thought of explaining to her daughter that she may not be around for her anymore – that terrified her. Jackie had managed to keep the doctors’ appointments and hospital visits a secret from Kim all the time they were doing tests to see whether the lump on her breast was indeed a malignant tumour but she knew, now they knew for definite, that she was going to have to come clean. She couldn’t hide it any longer. With the various treatments on offer – she knew it was going to affect her more than the odd day here and there. Previously, whenever Jackie needed to take time out for lengthy consultations with her doctors or to undergo different tests, Kim had been sent to stay with her aunty – always with the excuse that her aunty had wanted Kim to visit as it had been so long and she felt they needed to catch up. Now though – now they knew what they were dealing with and the necessary treatment required to try and beat the cancer, Jackie knew that she could no longer hide the disease from her daughter. She knew that she could no longer hide the harsh realities of real life from her sweet, innocent girl.
Jackie expected Kim to be upset – obviously. She expected Kim to not understand and worry that she was
going to lose her mum; like she had lost her dad just before she was born. Jackie knew she was going to have to stay strong when she told Kim. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to show how much it scared her and she knew she was going to need all of the answers possible to rest Kim’s mind should she have had any questions.
When she did finally tell Kim she had followed her up to her bedroom, when she returned from school, and sat on the bed with Kim, to explain everything. Jackie believed Kim’s bedroom was the best place to break the news as it was her safe haven. Kim knew that, in her room, she was safe from everything. When she did finally tell Kim she was surprised to see that her daughter didn’t cry. Kim didn’t panic. Kim didn’t believe her mum was going to die. She was angry. She didn’t understand how her mother could have not trusted her enough to tell her what she was going through. She was angry that Jackie had taken the decision to go through all the tests and appointments by herself – not trusting that Kim was old enough to understand. More importantly, Kim was angry, because she had wanted to be there for her mum and Jackie had taken that away from her.
