First Love Wild Love

by Janelle Taylor

  Downstairs, Lynx and Rankin were sipping brandies and chatting about the ranch and impending round-up. They discussed his recent adventures and accomplishments. Lynx told his father that his last mission was to trace Rube Burrow and apprehend the vicious bandit. After which, his career as a secret Ranger would be complete. They spoke about children and Calinda. Time passed as the two mellowed men really talked for the first time in years, enjoying each other’s company and intelligence.

  Rankin leisurely filled in Lynx on the happenings at the ranch, each man delighting in the women’s truce. But Lynx fretted over the moods of Calinda’s which his father revealed. Evidently she wasn’t as happy here as he assumed or hoped. But things would change soon…

  When Lynx noticed the late hour of midnight, he hurriedly downed his brandy and bid his father goodnight. He mounted the steps with eagerness, his loins throbbing at the thought of what awaited him. When he slipped into his room, he was dismayed slightly to find her sleeping peacefully. Her position and the book indicated she had tried to wait for his appearance. He could hardly blame her, for his father had enlightened him as to how hard she labored each day.

  He eased out of his clothes and doused the lantern. He gingerly slid into bed and drew her into his arms. She sighed softly and murmured his name, her eyes never opening. As soon as Lynx forcefully cooled his smoldering passion, he joined her in slumberland.

  An early riser, Lynx was up and eating with Rankin shortly after dawn vanquished the shadows of night. When Rankin suggested he ride to the north pastures with him, Lynx accepted, thinking Calinda would sleep late.

  But, as if her body-clock was attuned to his presence, Calinda was awake and up by eight o’clock. She dressed and went down to join her husband. She was peeved to find he had left at seven-thirty. When he hadn’t returned by lunch, she grew annoyed. So much for spending time with her while home! She fumed, no doubt I’ll only get him at night!

  Lynx and Rankin found traces of attempted fence-cuttings in three locations. It would be wise to plant guards at those areas tonight. Rankin told his son that he suspected at least one hundred steers had been rustled during the last three weeks. Whoever was behind it seemed to know their routine, their weaknesses, and strengths. Rankin asked his son to help solve this crisis while he was home, if he didn’t mind.

  When Lynx returned to the house near four in the afternoon, he discovered his wife had gone riding alone. Considering her past jeopardy and the allusion of rustlers nearby, he was furious with her. “What the hell could she be thinking to go out alone!” he snarled.

  “Probably hoped to link up with her beloved,” Salina hinted.

  Lynx turned and scowled at the Mexican beauty. “I’ll make sure she doesn’t do it again,” he stated confidently, his jaw set in angry lines.

  “She does it all the time. She has not found trouble yet,” Salina remarked, hoping to halt his future demand which could foil any distant plans to place Cal in danger. “She is a grown woman, Lynx; she carries a gun. She will resent your harsh orders, treating her like a nena. She gets bored around here with nothing to occupy her days and thoughts. Riding on the ranch is far better than going to town for a diversion.”

  “How do you know she’s bored?” Lynx inquired sternly.

  “Anyone who does ranch chores or cleans attics must be at their wit’s end for amusement. Any other female would be sewing or such. Sometimes I think Cal wishes she were a man. If she were, she would roam around like you do,” Salina stated with phony giggles.

  “She cleaned the attic?” he queried tensely.

  “Si. And she polishes saddles, drives the wagon, feeds animals, and you would not believe what else. Sometimes, she evens helps in the house, when the wifey mood strikes her. She is actually a good cook; did you know that?” she hinted slyly, knowing he was distracted by her guileful hint. How she wished she dared tell Cal everything…

  “No, I didn’t,” he replied absently, then excused himself.

  As Salina assumed, he headed for the attic to check out a nagging dread. It was clear his wife had found his mother’s portrait. He worried for a time, then dismissed his anxiety when he realized she couldn’t know anything about Laura. It would appear natural for them to remove such a haunting picture. He stared at his ravishing mother for a long time, wondering if she had ever regretted her decision. He tormented himself with questions. Did she ever think about him? Did she ever want to contact him or come home again? Was she even alive and well? Why had she given up so much for Elliott Braxton? Had it been worth her present life? Would he ever learn her fate or see her again? God help him if Cal was anything like Laura.

  Lynx threw the sheet over the painting and went to the study to toss down two brandies. He must not think about his mother; she wasn’t worth the mental energy or his concern. Yet, new apprehension chewed at him. What if his lovely Cal became that restless and unhappy? What if life here was too demanding, empty, and despicable for his love? Would Cal run away from him and the ranch? No, Cal loved him.

  “Lynx,” Salina called out from the doorway.

  He turned slowly and caustically responded, “Yes?”

  “There is something you should know about Cal. After the past trouble between us, I was not sure if I should tell you. I was afraid you might not believe me or think I am only trying to start more trouble. I am not, honestly. She and I are becoming friends, but I worry about you. If you repeat what I say, she will never trust me again and we will return to battling every day. Maybe she has already told you about it,” Salina slyly speculated as if nervous.

  “Stop dodging cowflops, Salina; spit it out. What about my wife?” he demanded, stressing Calinda’s position to him.

  “Did she tell you she got a letter from England?” she opened the vindictive conversation. If she were going to halt this marriage farce, she needed to inspire conflicts on both sides, but cautiously.

  “When?” he asked, his question admitting his ignorance.

  “Tuesday, the same day the papers arrived with your pictures in them.” Salina went on to repeat Calinda’s words and actions that day, and Calinda’s curious moods afterwards. “If you question her about the letter, she will think I spy on her for you. She will make certain I learn nothing more to tell you. Besides, she might be waiting for the right moment to tell you. Whatever it said, it surely had her upset. She sent the Simpsons a letter yesterday. She asked me to mail it. You might be furious with me, but I saved it for you.”

  “Where is it?” he growled coldly, piqued by their conspiracy.

  “In my room. Did I do the right thing?” she fretted aloud.

  “No, Salina, you didn’t. If you ever tattle on her again or betray her confidence like this, you’re fired. Calinda is a Cardone now. Don’t ever presume to spy on her or trick her,” he stated icily, even though he was relieved to see at least one letter. He sat impatiently while she fetched it. He would search their room for the other one, but Cal had doubtlessly destroyed it. Why hadn’t she mentioned it yesterday? No matter, he couldn’t give Salina any weapons to use against his wife or any power to deceive her. If Cal needed watching, his father would handle that dreadful matter. Anyway, Cal would probably tell him the truth before the week was out.

  Lynx snatched the letter from Salina’s hand and glowered at her. “Don’t you ever do anything like this again. Just to prevent any conflicts, we’ll forget about today. Understand?” he warned.

  As he left the room, Salina smiled maliciously. She knew he was going upstairs to tear open the letter and devour its contents. He didn’t have her fooled one bit. He simply didn’t want her to know how much he mistrusted his little wife. He wouldn’t tell Cal anything; he would watch and wait for the instant to pounce on her. As she worked, she hummed, envisioning her seeds sprouting in his mind.

  Lynx paled and shuddered when he read the sarcastic and intimidating message about her father’s 1872 letter which had been kept secret from her for years. His eyes widened as he scanned the con
tents which included her vow to expose their deception to her father, her threat to make trouble for their theft of the $10,000 balance which her father had sent for her support, the announcement of her marriage to him, her allegation of their possible theft of other letters from her father, and a warning to never contact her again.

  Lynx couldn’t believe what he was reading. Surely there was a logical explanation? Who had sent her a letter from Brax, even an old one? He was puzzled and worried. What had it said? Where was it?

  He studied the letter and its implications. What had Brax revealed to Calinda? What had her so secretive? Why had she gone to the attic and examined his mother’s portrait? My God, he worried, did Brax tell her the truth? He paced the room like a caged beast. Suddenly, he laughed at his foolishness. No, Brax hadn’t confessed; her behavior proved she still loved and trusted her husband…

  Between his secretive absences and the unexpected letter from the past, no wonder Cal was distracted and moody. She would tell him later, he concluded. Lynx went to the water-shed to bathe and dress for dinner. He waited for his wife’s return.

  Knowing she would bathe when she returned, Calinda had left her things on the shelf in the water-shed. When she came to the house afterwards, she was carrying her damp and dusty riding clothes. As she passed through the kitchen, she spoke to Salina, but didn’t ask about her husband. She headed upstairs to hang the garments on the balcony railing to dry before placing them in the laundry.

  “I see you made it home safely,” a mellow voice teased from behind her as he propped negligently against the doorframe.

  Cal halted and turned, her expression impassive. “Did you think I had run off?” she retorted, lacking any smile or merriment.

  “It’s dangerous to ride alone, Cal,” he mildly scolded her.

  “I’ve grown accustomed to being alone, my wayward husband. I’m surprised you had time to notice I wasn’t around.”

  “I’ve been home for several hours. What took you so long?”

  “Nosy critter, aren’t we?” she copied his quip of yesterday.

  “Just concerned, love,” he replied, staring at her oddly. “Anything wrong, Cal?”

  “What could possibly be wrong now that my husband is home and generously granting me his precious time and attention?”

  “Can we take that stroll now and talk?” he suggested, needing to comprehend her new mood and to stroke her ruffled feathers.

  “I should help Salina with dinner,” she responded warily. Why was he looking at her in that curious manner? Why the interrogation?

  “Salina’s done it alone for years. Surely she can manage tonight. I’d like to spend time with you, Cal,” he seemingly wheedled.

  She appeared to ponder his invitation for a short time, then shrugged in resignation. “Why not? Let me hang these out to dry first. I’ll be down shortly.” She hurriedly vanished from his piercing gaze.

  When Cal returned, Lynx hadn’t moved from that spot. He waited for her to descend the steps, watching her with a smile. “You could let me explain my tardiness before getting so angry,” he teased.

  “You don’t owe me any excuses, Lynx,” she told him, then walked outside without waiting for him to tag along.

  Cal sat down in the yard swing and gazed off across the hills, recalling the night she hadn’t dared sit in this swing with him. He came to join her, frowning at her petulance. She didn’t appear to be listening as he related his reasons for being gone nearly all day. When he halted, she didn’t debate or comment on them.

  Calinda wasn’t being attentive. She knew he was telling the truth, and she had no real cause to me mad or unreasonable. The letters were plaguing her. If she and Lynx were going to have a new beginning, it must be with honesty and openness. She couldn’t fool him; he sensed something was troubling her. It would be a lie to say everything was fine; yet, she couldn’t confide too much this soon.

  “Cal?” he said for the second time before breaking her stiff concentration. “What’s wrong, love?”

  She inhaled deeply, then released it slowly. “Lynx…” She hesitated, then turned to meet his worried gaze. “Something happened while you were gone. I…” she faltered again, then related the letter episode in a quavering voice. “I was so confused and distressed I ripped it to shreds. I should have saved it for you to read; I’m sorry. I don’t trust the Simpsons; I’m furious with them. I wrote and told them so. I couldn’t tell them the truth, that I don’t know where my own father is. Maybe if they think I have you and him they’ll leave me alone. I know I’ll never see that money, and I don’t care about it. How could they be so cruel and evil? They made me feel like a lowly beggar all those years. At least I understand why they took the care to have me well-educated and clothed; they feared my father might turn up someday. How do I know that was the only letter from him? What if he wrote and told me the truth or where he is now? I hate them!” she shrieked in renewed anguish at their deceits.

  “Don’t worry, love. I’m glad their tricks sent you to me. Tell me what the two letters said,” he coaxed gently, trying not to distress her further, needing to hear her repeat her letter accurately.

  She regained control of her poise and speech, relating her letter nearly verbatim and then exposing the contents of her father’s. For some reason, she didn’t tell him about Kyle Yancey in Austin, although that was undoubtedly the reason the letter was kept. She told herself it was to prevent him from chasing that fleeting clue. She focused a tormented gaze on his unreadable one. “What could he have meant by guilt and sacrifices? He sounded as if he loved it here; why would he leave? What dream would be too costly to claim? He said he was a selfish coward, but I don’t understand. Was he trying to buy my forgiveness and love, Lynx? Surely after so many years, he could have contacted me?” the questions tumbled out with hopes he would match her trust and confide in her. She had opened the door; would he walk inside and join her or would he close the door instead?

  “You think he was referring to being guilty about stealing the money and sacrificing his life here? He had dreamed of a ranch in Texas; could that be what he meant by walking away from one?” When she didn’t respond either way, he continued, “He proved he was selfish by his treatment of you, and he was a coward to leave after the theft. He made himself a criminal, Cal; to contact you might involve you in that life of running from the law. If he’s still alive, love, he may never try to reach you. I know that’s painful, Cal, but you must face it.”

  Calinda lowered her gaze, tears clouding her vision. Not at his gentle and torturous words as he assumed, but at his cunning way of deceiving her with questions which were intended to sound like speculative answers. When Lynx lifted her chin, she burst into tears and nestled her face against his chest. She sobbed quietly, praying he could one day confess his own anguish to her. If she could bare her inner soul to him, why couldn’t he do the same? Perhaps it was more humiliating and painful to him, for he had lived it and not read it. Perhaps he feared it would alter her feelings for him.

  Lynx embraced her tightly. “Don’t cry, love. You have me now. I’ll never desert you or hurt you, Callie,” he promised tenderly.

  She looked up at him, her face streaked with tears. “Will we ever know the truth, Lynx?” she asked sadly.

  “I hope so, Callie; God, I hope so,” he agreed honestly. “I wish I had been here when you needed me. I’m sorry you went through it alone.”

  “You’re here now,” she said, smiling up at him.

  “Try to forget about it, Callie; it only brings pain and unhappiness. We have our life to think about,” he reminded her.

  “Yes, we do. I feel better now that you know. I was afraid to tell you; I know how the past disturbs you. I thought I could ignore it, but it kept haunting me,.I felt I was being dishonest with you. There are too many secrets between us, Lynx. One day, I hope it won’t be this way. I hope we can tell each other everything, anything.”

  He chuckled. “If that’s a hint for my confession, it’
ll have to wait a while longer. Please, love,” he entreated. “A few more weeks?”

  To his relief and surprise, she smiled and nodded. “Do you think that $10,000 was part of the money stolen from your father? I would feel terrible if it was used on me.” Surely the mention of the stolen money explained why the letter had not been given to her.

  “I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. What better investment than in my wife? Forget the money and the Simpsons.”

  “Will you promise me two things, Lynx?” she asked mysteriously.

  Intrigued, he nodded. “Promise me the past is dead and you won’t go looking for my father again. But if you do accidentally run into him, walk away without trouble. Please do this for me, for us. Don’t allow him or the past to come between us.”

  “I will, if you’ll promise the same things,” he offered.

  “I promise,” she stated quickly.

  “I promise,” he vowed, smiling at her. He couldn’t change the past. Nor could he kill Brax if he confronted him; to do so would place a wedge between him and his wife. Brax had taken something special from him; but in a way, Brax had replaced it with something more valuable. Besides, the letter revealed something Lynx hadn’t considered before; Brax had intended to walk away alone. Something had changed Brax’s mind: either Laura had done so, or Rankin had caught them saying farewell. Whatever the reasons, it was over now…

  Chapter Eighteen

  That night Calinda and Lynx had made passionate love for hours, to awaken the next morning to another fiery and leisurely bout of sensual pleasure. Calinda felt it was best to accept her husband as he was until he could effect drastic changes in his life and thoughts. With her love and loyalty proven, that day couldn’t be far off.

  When they came down for breakfast, they appeared utterly happy and bewitched with each other. The amorous looks and cheerful banter between them vexed Salina. Evidently the sly Calinda had confessed everything and disarmed Lynx. Did Calinda have a new and powerful hold over him? She wondered why Lynx kept Calinda around, now that he had everything he wanted from her. Was there another vengeful challenge to be met? Salina was more determined than ever to devastate their marriage, to make certain Cal learned why this golden treasure had pursued and married her…