Lost in Flight

by Neeny Boucher

  Since Christina, Riley had had hook ups, short-term relationships, and one serious girlfriend, Bianca. He’d even contemplated marrying her, but six months ago, they’d broken up. When it came down to it, he just couldn’t do it. He still cared for Bianca, but he had no regrets over the way things turned out. Riley just didn’t want Gabby blurting everything out to upset Christina before he’d had a chance to discuss things with her.

  It could have been worse Riley consoled himself, but not by much. The evening was uncomfortable with a real edge to it and it was one comment away from turning ugly. The Martins were like herding cats. Tessa and LiLi would try to steer the conversation into safer areas to little avail. Just as you thought you were on safe ground, one of the Martins would come out hissing and spitting, yowling insults at one another. God-damn-it.

  Riley had no intention of being in the middle of it, if that happened, and he didn’t want to be the focus of it either. He kept giving sideways glances to Christina and she looked miserable. She was tracing patterns on the table with her finger, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. He hadn’t seen all the Martins together in one room for years and he knew they were just sorting out things, but he wished they could do it another way.

  As if Johnny read his thoughts, he went and got his guitar. Johnny closed his eyes and started strumming into the uncomfortable silence. Looking up at Christina and Gabby, Johnny said, “You know Pumped up kicks?”

  Both nodded and Johnny launched into an acoustic version singing the first verse, with the girls harmonizing on the chorus. On the second verse, Johnny nodded at Christina and she sung without protest. Gabby sang the last verse and they ended singing together.

  Riley made eye contact with LiLi who raised her eyebrows and grinned. When they’d finished, he saw LiLi about to make comment and he shook his head subtly at her. He liked LiLi and didn’t want her to become the focal point of the Martins’ barbs when they were in this mood. He hoped music would calm the Martin savage beasts, but he wasn’t counting on it.

  Jack grabbed his guitar as well and they launched into the Fray’s “How to save a life” with the Martin kids singing a verse each. Christina sang the middle parts holding it altogether and a light bulb went off in Riley’s mind. Bonnie had told him that Christina was holding everything together, but he hadn’t really understood the significance until now. He wondered if she knew that, and how important her place in the family was.

  When the Martins finished “How to save a life” Riley nudged Andy and they got up to leave. Riley almost laughed out loud when he heard Andy say, “Thank you for a nice evening everyone. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Once Riley had control over the laughter threatening to escape him, he thanked everyone for dinner and nudged Christina on the arm, asking her to follow him outside. He watched Andy go over to speak to Gabby, so Riley grabbed Christina by the hand and took her outside, so they could have five minutes alone. “Are you okay, babe?” Riley asked. “That was, agh, a pretty interesting evening.”

  Christina gave a big sigh and pulled a face, which was a combination of exasperation and misery. Riley took her in his arms, kissed her on the forehead and rested his chin on the top of her head. “I hate the person I become here, Riley,” Christina said, “it’s like everything comes up and I feel like a surly teenager again.”

  He laughed. “I liked that surly teenager” and she giggled too.

  Riley pulled her closer and she placed her head on his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his waist. “We never talk about anything – well, anything significant anyway. We tip toe around all the big stuff, making jokes, slinging insults, and singing songs. It drives me crazy.”

  “Well, change the rules, babe,” Riley said. “If you want to talk about the big stuff – then talk. No one is going to talk about anything unless someone starts it. If they don’t listen – that’s fine. At least you’ve said your piece.”

  “I’m worried they’ll laugh at me,” Christina said, “and then I’ll storm off, and we won’t see each other again for years. Dad and I are already the family jokes.”

  “No, you’re not, Christina,” Riley said. “I was with Johnny when he got the call about Gabby. He called you before he called anyone else.”

  Christina groaned and her voice broke, “I ignored his calls because I was too busy at work.”

  Riley shook his head, “It doesn’t matter, Dina. It’s what you did when you found out that counts.” Sighing, Riley said, “I thought Johnny was going to have a meltdown. He paced the room thrusting his hands through his hair without saying a word for hours. LiLi and I were worried he was going to have a relapse.”

  He felt Christina shudder and he agreed. “Yeah. It was pretty scary. We organized his flight to Seattle and I went with him to make sure he was okay. He only got his shit together when you called.”

  As Christina started to cry, Riley held her tighter. “You need to understand your importance to your family, Dina. The role you play. Forget the annoying stuff they do okay? I don’t know why they do it. I think it’s just their way of showing affection.” He heard her laugh and he did as well. “But never think you’re a joke to them or don’t matter. Your father is so proud of you and Gabby idolizes you.”

  When she made a disbelieving snort, Riley laughed. “She does. She hardly refers to you by name. She calls you ‘my big sister’. She’d never say it, but I think she’s spent her whole life trying to catch up to you and Johnny. Oh and by the way, Jed thanks you for keeping her in line. He said you’re the only one that can make her mind her manners. He put it in harsher terms, but that was the general gist.”

  Both Christina and Riley laughed, and were still laughing when Andy James made his appearance. Andy took one look at them, grinned and made his way to Riley’s car. He felt Christina rub her face on him and he froze. “Did you just wipe your nose on me?” When Christina gave an unconvincing “no,” Riley said, “That’s disgusting.” They then argued with her saying she’d only wiped her tears and him not believing her.

  Riley gave her a long, lingering kiss goodnight, and whispered, “Am I going to see you later?”

  Christina nodded. “I’ll try, but I’m not sure if I can get away. I’ll see if I can borrow Johnny’s car.”

  Riley frowned. “I forgot about that. Tomorrow, you can have the Audi and I’ll use the truck.”

  Christina stared at him in shock. “You would lend me the Audi? You?”

  He burst out laughing. “Yep. It’s an emergency, but you are never driving the truck.”

  “I can’t believe you,” Christina said. “You’d give me the Audi and not the truck?”

  Riley laughed, but he was serious. “Dina, that truck is a classic and you-are-not-touching it. I can get another Audi, but I can’t get another truck like that. This is a not in your lifetime thing. Okay? Not even in the Zombie apocalypse.”

  They were still bickering as he made his way down the front steps. He changed his mind on the bottom step and ran back up, grabbing her, tilting her backwards, holding the back of her head, and kissing her until she shut up. Riley grinned at her and winked leaving her breathless, and flustered. He liked that look – a lot.

  Riley and Andy got into the car before anyone made a comment. “Wow,” said Andy, “that was really, um, interesting.”

  Riley shrugged. “It could have been worse. I was expecting Christina and Johnny to start wrestling any minute.”

  Andy laughed. “Money on Christina.”

  Riley nodded. “That’s where the smart money would be. She ever tell you about the time she beat up Johnny’s old girlfriend in high school?”

  Andy’s eyes went big and he turned to Riley. “No way. Are you serious?”

  Riley nodded and grinned. “You didn’t hear this from me, but yeah. Johnny went out with this crazy chick for years in high school. Sara was her name. She was the lead singer in our old high school band. Anyway, they broke up and she kept coming round to the Martins screaming abuse outside
the house. Johnny wouldn’t tell her to leave, so Christina went out there because she was upsetting her mother and Gabby. The two girls came to blows. Well, when I say blows, it was more like Sara threw a punch and Christina gave her an ass kicking.”

  The two men drove away laughing with Andy James saying, “I can’t believe it. I mean I can, but oh man, I would’ve loved to have seen it.”

  Riley nodded. “Yeah me too. I only got to hear about it second hand. Funny, but Sara never went back to the Martins after that.” Both men roared with laughter all the way to the farmhouse.

  ********************

  He put Andy’s gear in the upstairs part of the farmhouse and the two men sat drinking beers, relaxing trying to shake a very strange evening. “So,” Andy said, “Gabby. Well, I really like her and I know it’s probably not the best time to try and start something, but I’d like to.”

  Riley was sipping his beer and paused. “Gabby’s the closest I’ve got to a little sister, Andy.”

  Andy nodded. He was reading Riley loud and clear. Riley sat thinking about things for a while and decided if Gabby was going to get involved with someone, you probably couldn’t get a better guy than Andy James. “If you want one of the Martin sisters you’re going to have to do some sort of old fashioned grand gesture like courting,” Riley said.

  Andy laughed. “Courting? Well, hell-o Cletus.”

  Riley chuckled and shrugged. “It took Dina nearly a year to agree to go out with me, six for me to spin her out and eight for her to go full crazy. It’s taken nearly five years to get her to even look at me again.”

  Andy stared at Riley saying, “Um, remind me why I’m taking relationship advice from you?”

  Riley laughed. “I’m just saying Martin women are different. They’re hot, smart, strong, scatterbrained, flighty and crazy as fuck. They’ll get under your skin, man and you won’t be able to get them out. If you want Gabby, you may as well know what you’re in for.”

  “I’ve met the whole family now,” nodded Andy, “and yeah they’re all different in a: ‘I fink you freeky and I like you a lot’ kind of way.”

  Riley met Andy’s eyes. “Die Antwoord are pretty scary. “

  “But cool,” nodded Andy. On that they both agreed. They played Die Antwoord on YouTube until it freaked them out and they called it a night.

  ********************

  Christina, Shanwick, The Present, Sunday 14 October 2012

  Riley would have been surprised to learn that Christina took his advice seriously. She was determined to raise some difficult subjects and was waiting for the right time. Her family was in the midst of a jamming session and Christina didn’t want to interrupt when things were semi-pleasant, and normal.

  Tessa and LiLi were also there, and Christina would rather personal issues came up without company present. By midnight, Christina realized it wasn’t going to happen tonight, so she excused herself and went to bed. Her departure started a stampede with Tessa, LiLi and Gabby making their way to bed as well, leaving Dad, and Johnny jamming alone.

  It was musical beds in the Martin household with Gabby taking Christina’s old room downstairs, Johnny and LiLi taking Gabby’s old room upstairs because it was sunnier, and LiLi liked the light. Christina took Johnny’s old room and after she’d unpacked her stuff, she got into her pajamas, waiting for Johnny and Dad to go to bed so she could sneak out to Riley.

  She’d learnt her lesson from the other walks of shame, so packed the gym bag Riley had bought her, shoving all the underwear in Johnny’s wardrobe. She lay down on the bed waiting to make her escape and promptly fell asleep. For once she had a peaceful sleep that turned erotic.

  Christina was dreaming Riley was kissing and licking her neck. She had always loved that feeling of his lips and tongue on her neck. She stretched out to experience the full pleasure and was half-awake when she felt his hands kneading her breasts. She sighed and arched into it, but then it became painful.

  He was biting her and she usually liked that, when it was gentle, but this was OUCH. Her erotic dreams turned into a nightmare, not her normal one of dead people. In this one, her chest felt like lead and she was drowning. She and Riley were on a life raft and she fell off into the water. She could hear him screaming her name, but he couldn’t reach her and she was struggling to reach the surface.

  Christina’s eyes snapped open and it wasn’t Riley. There were two glowing orbs staring back at her in the dark. Something was on her – oh my god – something was on her. She sat up and screamed. She screamed at the glowing orbs and the thing that wouldn’t get off her.

  She screamed and screamed, falling out of bed, and running for the lights. This was Johnny’s room and she was disoriented, half falling, and banging into the door before she reached the switch. She slapped the lights on and there was the big black and white cat, Schubert, from next door.

  Christina took one look at it and screamed even louder. Schubert was some kind of sex-pervert-cat. No wonder he didn’t get on with others. He was sick and disturbed. “Get away, get away,” she screamed, but the creepy thing smiled at her and lay down on the end of the bed, rolling on its side.

  It was evil and disgusting. It had no shame and she was scared of it. “Ick, ick,” she growled. “Get out, go away, go THING – GO,” but Schubert refused to move.

  She had her back pressed to the door and was in the process of opening it when Dad and Johnny burst in, knocking her forwards onto the floor. Dad and Johnny nearly trampled her getting in the room. “Are you alright, Dina?” Dad yelled.

  Looking up at her father with gratitude she realized Dad had come to her defense… with a rolled up newspaper. Then Dad spotted the cat and looked at her like she was an idiot. “Don’t look at me like that, Dad,” she snarled, “you don’t know what that thing did.”

  Her father frowned. “It’s a cat, Dina. What could it do?”

  Stuff and things she wasn’t telling her father about, ever. She stood up, folded her arms over her boobs self-consciously and muttered. “Lots of… things and it gave me a fright. It was… on top of me and I want it out of here.” Dad nodded, but she could tell he thought she wasn’t playing with a full deck of cards.

  Christina looked at Johnny who had come to her aid with a guitar in his hand. She felt an overwhelming sense of love for her brother because at least one Martin man was readily prepared to fend off the four-legged intruder. Then she actually looked at Johnny. Unbelievable.

  His face had lit up like a child’s at Christmas time. He was staring with such love and awe at the dirty, freak cat that she felt actual rage toward him. What the hell was wrong with him?

  “Kitty,” Johnny breathed and he dropped his guitar making his way over to the bed, stroking the creature. “Hello Kitty,” Johnny murmured, “where you been? I’ve missed you.”

  The horrible, hideous thing rolled over and stretched its legs out, acting like it hadn’t done unspeakable molesting-type things to her just a moment before. She didn’t know who she wanted to slap more – the sex fiend or her brother. She gave an involuntary shudder.

  Dad cleared his throat. “I’m going back to bed now, Dina. If you’re um, okay that is?” Dad gave a pointed look at the cat and Christina. Christina was about to agree and then sighed. It was now or never.

  “Actually, Dad, while I’ve got you and Johnny alone I want to talk about some stuff,” Christina said.

  “It’s 2 o’clock in the morning, Dina,” Dad moaned, “can’t it wait?”

  Christina shook her head. “No. It can’t. I have to say this now or time is just going to slip away from me. I’m sorry. I know it’s late, but it has to be now.”

  Dad sat on the bed with Johnny waiting patiently for Christina to start. She took a deep breath saying in a rush, “Are you building a housing project with Riley in Seattle? Where you’re all going to live together and no one’s talked to me about it? Have any of you considered how I might feel about that?”

  Dad and Johnny looked at each othe
r, and Dad started, “Dina, it was just an idea and I thought you and Riley were getting on well?”

  “We are Dad,” she said, “but we’re a long way from okay.”

  Johnny looked at Christina with a stony face. “I didn’t think it would bother you, Dina. It’s not like you’ve really wanted to be a part of this family for a long time anyway, huh?”

  Okay, ouch, she thought, but it was a fair comment. Nodding, Christina said, “I’ve always wanted to be part of this family, Johnny, but it’s hard when you always chose my ex-husband’s company over mine.”

  Dad and Johnny froze. Their eyes opened wide and they went deathly silent, then both started talking at once.

  “Hey, Dina,” Johnny said, “that’s not true…”

  “I-I, Dina,” gulped Dad, “you don’t believe that do you? Tell me you don’t sweetheart, please. Please.” Dad looked like he was close to tears and Johnny took a look at Dad then his gaze went back to her.

  “It’s felt like that sometimes, Dad, and I just withdrew because I thought it would be easier,” Christina said quietly.

  Dad had tears in his eyes now and some escaped at the corners. He wiped them away quickly and whispered. “Dina, I’ve known that boy for years and love him like another son. He was so hurt when you two divorced. I couldn’t leave him like that. I wouldn’t leave him like that. I never realized it might cost me you.”

  Christina felt like someone had taken a knife to her insides imagining Riley like that. She’d never been able to forgive herself for hurting him so badly and acting the way she did. Her actions had burnt them both to the ground. Since they’d broken up, she’d felt like a person that had reconstructed herself from the parts that remained. A pastiche, someone she hardly recognized anymore, a person that lived in the shadows and hid from everyone, including herself, because she was too afraid to give voice to her grief.

  She stared at her father and shook her head. “It hasn’t cost you me, Dad. Okay? That’s not happening and it isn’t what this is about.” She saw the relief in her father’s eyes, but Johnny was still staring at her expressionless. “I understand how you feel about Riley, and believe me, I don’t want you – any of you – to cut ties with him. I just want you to consider how difficult it is for me to think you’re going ahead with a building project that includes my ex-husband, but you haven’t said a word to me about it or even asked how I feel?”