Slade

by Sarah McCarty

  Jane grimaced. “That makes you a fan club of one.”

  Allie rolled her eyes. “The brothers didn’t like me either when I first arrived.”

  That was hard to believe. “You have got to be kidding.”

  “Nope, as a matter of fact, they almost killed me on our first meeting.”

  “Why?”

  “They needed to give Caleb a reason to live. See, he was going to be all self sacrificing and let me live my life unmated.”

  “What happened?”

  “He was almost killed by rogue wolves. I saved him. They slit my wrists.”

  “Oh my God! How did you ever forgive them?”

  “They gave me Caleb, and as I said, things change. But, for the Johnsons, change comes hard, and there isn’t a woman that’s come into the family that the others haven’t put through some sort of test.”

  “Wonderful.”

  “On the upside, once you’re in, you’re in for life. And these are men who know how to love in a way that many have forgotten.”

  “You’re happy, aren’t you?”

  “I miss my family, but I am.”

  “You can’t see them?”

  “I’m working on it. Do you have family?”

  “No, there’s just me.”

  “Then that part will be easier.”

  “You talk like the decision is already made.”

  Allie gave another one of those shrugs. “Slade’s not going to age.”

  “I will.”

  “Are you counting on that to diminish his interest?”

  “The man’s not going to get hot and bothered over a wrinkled prune with breasts down to her knees.”

  Allie shook her head again. “You so don’t understand mates, but for the sake of argument what were you going to do if that happened? Fade off into the distance, a martyr to negative thinking?”

  “Honestly?”

  “Of course.”

  “I can’t bear to think about it.”

  “That’s because he’s your mate. Your other half. The ying to your yang.”

  “Mate, husband, what’s the difference?”

  “A husband is a convenience. A mate is forever.”

  “So everyone keeps telling me.” It wasn’t helping.

  “And everyone would be right. There’s a chemical bonding that occurs between a mated couple.”

  “So you’re, like, drugged?”

  “No. Of the two bonds I’d say the emotional bond is stronger, but the physical is pretty fabulous.”

  That was good to hear. “How do you know when you’ve met your mate?”

  “One of the first things you notice is the attraction, of course. But that’s the same for most humans. And that overwhelming feeling of everything being right. But then there are more subtle things, like being able to sense where your mate is, catching stray thoughts here and there, feeling their emotions as yours.” She shrugged. “I know there would never be another for me if Caleb died.”

  “Why? Wouldn’t you miss the closeness?”

  “Yes, but why would I settle for half a loaf when I know what it’s like to have the whole thing?” Allie plucked a stick of gum off the desk. “I’m an all-or-nothing woman. Always have been. Caleb fits me to a ‘t.’ ”

  Jane envied her that confidence.

  Allie sighed and turned the gum over in her hand. “I used to love gum. There’s something so focusing in that rhythmic chewing.”

  “You can’t chew it?”

  Allie held it up to her nose and breathed deep. “It makes me sicker than a dog.”

  “Bummer.”

  She dropped it back on the desk. “Yup.”

  Jane slid her finger alone the base of the rack holding the vials before her. Mate. Was it truly possible?

  “I made Slade promise not to convert me.”

  “Sounds perfectly sensible to me. Taken in abstract, going vampire is a pretty freaky concept.”

  Going vampire. What a way to phrase it. “I could feel how much he wanted to. I was afraid he’d just do it and I’d have no choice.”

  “A woman should always have a choice.”

  “Yes.” She licked her lips. “He almost died protecting me.”

  Allie settled more firmly on her chair. “I’ve been busy with Joseph, so I missed all the juicy gossip. What happened?”

  “Caleb gossips?”

  Allie rolled her eyes again. “They all do, though they like to call it”—she made quotation marks in the air—“exchanging information.”

  “We stopped at a safe house on the way back. He mentally drugged me and when I woke up, we were under attack. Broderick told me Slade was outside as part of his plan, but when I checked, I couldn’t feel his energy. I knew he was out in the middle of a battle fighting on a hope and a prayer his latest invention would keep him from frying.” She threw up her hands. “Who does that?”

  “Don’t let the lab coat fool you. That man is the biggest risk taker of all the brothers.”

  “At last someone that agrees with me.”

  “Wait until you get a chance to really meet Raisa and Miri. That am-I-crazy feeling will just disappear.”

  “Can I say woot?”

  “Yes, but not too loudly. I don’t want Caleb to find me just yet.”

  “You’re hiding?”

  Allie held up the energy damper. “I thought we should talk.”

  Jane shook her head. “He’s going to be mad. I get the feeling I’m off limits until Slade comes to a decision.”

  Allie didn’t look concerned, which told Jane that aura of happiness the woman wore wasn’t fake. “If he didn’t want me to find ways around his edicts, he wouldn’t issue them.”

  “You don’t really believe that.”

  Allie shrugged. “Nope, but I do believe as a grown woman I get to run my own life. Granted, sometimes I have to get more creative to make that happen when Caleb’s protective side rears its head, but marriage is all about compromise.”

  “You’re really married? As in human married?”

  “Had the whole white-dress affair. It was lovely.”

  “Why?”

  In the blink of an eye, Allie went from amused to serious. “Because changing my species didn’t change who I am.”

  No, Jane didn’t think it had. Allie was a woman very comfortable with herself. “I bet giving you that ring was the easiest thing Caleb ever did.”

  “In the end, I believe it was.”

  “In the end?”

  “No relationship is smooth sailing.” Allie hopped off the desk. “So tell me what happened when you found Slade?”

  “I thought Slade was too sick or to hurt to feed. I tried to give him my blood, but he blocked me out. He would have lain there and died rather than risk converting me by taking too much blood after I had that reaction.”

  “A man of honor.”

  “Yes. But what kind of person am I? He almost died and all I could think of was how grateful I was that he’d been strong enough to keep his word.”

  “Not everybody can be vampire.”

  Jane’s gaze went immediately to the vials of blood. “Will you keep a secret?”

  “I like that you don’t ask if I can, and yes, I will.”

  “I think I’m already halfway there.”

  “What?!”

  She motioned to the vials of blood samples in the rack. “That’s mine.”

  “I thought you said Slade didn’t convert you.”

  “From the procedure everyone’s described, he hasn’t. But”—she tapped the paper in front of her—“there’s no denying my blood chemistry has changed.”

  “Oh wow.” Allie leaned over the paper. “Did it change in vampire ways?”

  “Yes.”

  Her gaze met Jane’s. She covered her hand with hers. Sympathy flowed along the connection. “This is huge. Does Slade know?”

  “No. I’m scared, Allie. I don’t want to live long enough to see the things that will change.”

  “
You’re a scientist.”

  “I don’t want the responsibility of fixing things forever.”

  “Ahh. Like with Joseph.”

  “Yes. Because it’s not always a win and the losses add up.”

  “I bet they do, but what makes you think you have to?”

  “I’ve seen how you are with Slade.”

  “So have I in the last few months. It can’t continue. We lean on him too much.”

  “You don’t have a choice.”

  “There’s always a choice if you look for it. We’ve just been a bit lazy looking for it.”

  “You’re a dyed-in-the-wool optimist, aren’t you?”

  “I prefer to think of myself as practical.”

  “I don’t think I was cut out for this career. I got caught up in the puzzle and didn’t look where it would lead me.”

  “Where did it lead you?”

  “To starving villages all over the world.”

  “And you watched people die.”

  “Yes. Over and over, sometimes because I couldn’t help, and sometimes because I wasn’t allowed to.”

  “You couldn’t keep your distance.”

  “No.”

  “That’s not a bad thing.”

  Jane closed her eyes against the memories of the faces, the hope, the tears. “Sitting here, no. Sitting there, yes.”

  “But you’re not there.”

  “No, I’m here. And there’s no walking away from Renegade problems.”

  Allie slid off the desk. “I don’t think I’m the person you need to have this conversation with.”

  “I disagree. You’ve been where I am.”

  “Not quite. I wanted Caleb from the minute I saw him. Hell, I even wore a Wonderbra for him.”

  Jane chuckled. She couldn’t help herself.

  “I would have done anything to spend forever with that man,” Allie added. “There are only two things I regret about my conversion. One, I didn’t get the kick-ass powers others have.”

  “You were gypped?”

  “Yes, I was. I’d been looking forward to that.”

  “What was the other?”

  “I didn’t get to make the choice of my own free will.”

  Like you. The unspoken hung between them.

  “I think your way is easier,” Jane said softly.

  “It would seem that way, but you and Slade have an opportunity to work things out your way. To proceed without resentment. That’s the way it should be. I don’t know what’s going on with your blood, and I don’t know what’s going on between you and Slade, but you need to find out. Life, even vampire life, is too damned short for stupidity.”

  “I apologize for my wife,” Caleb said from the doorway.

  “I’ve really got to start setting the alarm,” Jane muttered. Her glare was wasted on Caleb. His attention was completely on Allie. His expression was stern, but his energy was ... indulgent?

  “I thought we agreed Slade’s love life was none of our business.”

  “No, you lectured and I merely grunted noncommittally.”

  “Are you looking for a spanking?”

  The sexual energy in the room spiked dramatically. Allie ambled over to Caleb with an exaggerated sway to her hips. “Could be. You’ve been distracted lately.”

  His mouth softened and his eyes narrowed. “Maybe we’ll have to take care of that later.”

  “Maybe?” He hooked his hand behind her neck and pulled her in. Allie went with the pull, leaning against his chest, smiling up into his face. And that fast they were in their own world. “I’ve got to warn you, I’ve been feeling restless.”

  “Then definitely.”

  She laughed and pulled him down for a kiss. Jane had to look away. If she’d ever wondered if vampires truly felt love, she had her answer.

  “Jane.” She looked up as Caleb called her name. He tossed her the energy damper. She fumbled it twice before finally getting a grip on it. Why did everyone assume she had athletic ability?

  Caleb waited until she set the device on the desk. “If you don’t want Slade finding you, I suggest you put that on and get out of here.”

  “He’s looking for me?”

  “Yup.” Caleb put his arm around Allie’s shoulder and steered her out of the room. “And looking as cheerful as a thundercloud.”

  “Wonderful.”

  Allie leaned back over Caleb’s arm. Her blue eyes were sparkling with humor. “If he gets too persnickety, Jane, you can always do what I do.”

  She was almost afraid to ask. “What’s that?”

  “Start unbuttoning buttons until his attitude changes.”

  The blush started at her toes. By the time it reached her cheeks, Caleb was laughing. “Allie girl?”

  “Yes?”

  “Hush.”

  18

  JANE fondled the energy damper and watched the door shut behind Caleb and Allie. The solid thunk it made didn’t give her that twinge of satisfaction she normally felt at the exclusion of the outside world. A lab had been her shelter for many years, fulfilled all her needs, but even before Slade’s little Vamp Man icon had popped up on her computer screen, she’d been getting ready to leave. She could see that now. Reaching out to him had been her first step. As first steps went, it was a doozy, but she had been in the process of emerging from her cocoon when he’d contacted her. Accident or by higher design? Allie would no doubt say the latter.

  Tapping the top of the vial of her blood, Jane pushed the chair back from the desk. Her sneakers made little sound as she crossed the tile floor. Keying in the combination, she reopened the door. Immediately, the aroma of chili, what the McClaren weres were having for dinner, surrounded her. More proof of the life she’d been missing. Her stomach rumbled. A whisper of sensation touched her mind.

  Slade.

  She looked over her shoulder. They’d met in this environment. It should feel right that they talk here. But it didn’t. Punching the code in the panel, she closed and locked the lab before climbing the stairs and heading for fresh air.

  Once outside, she started toward the corral. The night was clear, the stars hanging like party lights in the big sky. The moon was full. Her lips quirked in a smile. If a higher design was at work, they were bringing out the full cliché. Meeting a vampire to discuss their future under a full moon? Leaning against the top rail, she rested her chin on her hands, studying the horses as they lazed in the far side of corral. It did have its amusement factor.

  She felt Slade before she saw him. The slide of his energy over hers was featherlight. Her breath caught. If he was downwind, he’d probably tell her he could smell the rise of her desire.

  “I’m not, but I could be.”

  She did love the timbre of his voice. Just hearing it made her knees weak. With a smile, Jane turned. He stood a couple feet away. A tall, broad-shouldered silhouette in a Stetson, so quintessentially the cowboy, so completely sexy. “I can’t imagine why you’d want to be.”

  He came up on her right side, lifting her hair off her neck, nuzzling his lips against that oh-so-sensitive spot just beneath her ear. “Because you smell very sweet.”

  She turned into his arms, resting her hands against his chest. Beneath her palms, his heart beat steadily, dependably. His fingers threaded through her hair. Beneath his smile she saw the tension he was keeping from her. The man was nervous. “Caleb told me you were looking for me.”

  His thumb stroked the side of her neck. “I thought you’d be in the lab.”

  “I’ve decided to expand my horizons.”

  “I see.”

  She could tell from the caution in his expression that he didn’t. “What about you? Where have you been for the last twenty-four hours?”

  “Gnawing at my bonds.”

  “Huh?”

  “I’m sorry I lost my temper.”

  “Are you ready to tell me why?”

  “Maybe.”

  She waited.

  “You tied my hands early on in this relationship
, sweetness. Necessary or not, I think we need to renegotiate.”

  Her stomach knotted. “How so?”

  He rested his forehead against hers. “I want a future with you.”

  The knot began to unravel. “You said I was allergic to you.”

  “There’s only a risk if I convert you.”

  “So what you really mean is you want a limited future with me.”

  “I’ll take anything I can get.”

  She bit her lip and rocked back on her heels. His hand slid down to the hollow of her spine. This was the moment she’d been fearing. Looking into Slade’s face now, though, feeling his energy wrap around her with the same strength of his arms, she couldn’t think why. “What are you giving me in return?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m giving up children, a man to grow old with me, sunlight. What are you giving me in exchange?”

  “You know.”

  She rolled her eyes. You’d think she was asking him to tattoo a rose on his butt.

  He smiled at the gesture. “You’ve been hanging around Allie too much.”

  “I like her.”

  “So do I.”

  “She sparkles.”

  Emotion darkened his eyes, scented his skin. Musky and masculine. She took another breath, holding it inside, shivering as it sank deep. Only Slade smelled this good, felt this good. The soft drag of his thumb across her sensitive lips brought every nerve ending to a tingling awareness. “While you burn with a seductive fire.”

  “And you like fire.”

  “Yes.”

  She could feel how much he did. He’d never been afraid of the fire, but walking into it was new to her. “Because the sex is good?”

  “I can get sex anywhere.”

  “Lovely.”

  He shrugged. “It’s the truth, but a woman who makes me smile just by being in the same vicinity? A woman who gives without losing herself? A woman who is smart, sexy, and has a wicked sense of humor? A man could spend eternity looking for that woman.”

  “So you got a bargain. You only spent a hundred and fifty years searching.”

  He didn’t answer. She felt the touch of his mind on hers and then the immediate withdrawal. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m trying not to influence you.”

  She started to unbutton his shirt. “Why? Do you think I’m so weak I can’t resist your charms?”