The Gangsta That Stole My Heart

by Nique Luarks

  Granny Ann bowed her head and Love followed suit. My gaze stayed on True. He leaned against the doorjamb and looked up at the ceiling.

  “Heavenly Father, thank You for answering our prayers. Thank You for sparing my grandbaby today.” She sniffled. “Lord, please heal him from this physically and emotionally.”

  True’s shoulders dropped.

  “We are so grateful to have such a merciful God. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.”

  Love lifted her head. “Amen.”

  True left the room.

  “Amen.”

  True

  “You should eat something,” Granny Ann suggested before taking a seat in the chair closest to Chase’s hospital bed.

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “I didn’t ask you if you were hungry.” She fixed the covers on the bed. “I’m telling you to eat. You’ve been sitting in this room for hours.”

  “I need to be nearby when Chase opens his eyes.”

  At least one of his parents had to be. Even though Jaliyah was doing much better than him, the hospital wouldn’t discharge her. We’d talked earlier, and she cried, apologizing and blaming herself for not paying attention.

  “If he wakes up, I’ll call you. Chasity has been blowing my phone up. I’m not sure what Quindelle’s little ornery tail told her, but she was upset and wanted to talk to Chase.”

  “I’ll call her when she wakes up for school.” Looking up at the ceiling, I shook my head. Quindelle was five years older than me, but she acted like a fuckin’ teenager most of the time.

  “You wanna talk about why you treated Chance like that?”

  “Not really.”

  “Well, I do. What’s going on, True? Chance loves you.”

  Sighing, I ran my hand across the top of my head. “I love her ass too.”

  “Then why did you treat her like that?” Granny’s voice had become stern. “She rushed here to be here for you and Chase. Where’s Nisha? Where’s Quindelle? Where’s any of those hoochies you run around with?” She scoffed.

  “Love called her, not me.” Nisha didn’t even know I was at the hospital. Chance wouldn’t have known either if my sister hadn’t hit her up.

  “Why are you so bullheaded, baby?”

  I looked to my Granny who had a disappointed look in her eyes. “She told me she didn’t wanna fuck wit’ me. How am I the bullheaded one?”

  “She said that to get a reaction out of you, True.”

  Frowning, I leaned forward on me legs. “A reaction for what?” Chance was tripping. One minute she didn’t wanna be in contact with a nigga and the next, she wouldn’t leave me alone.

  “Chance wants you to see her.”

  I sucked my teeth. “What?” Granny was talking in code and I wasn’t in the mood to be solving riddles.

  “You know the way you see Nisha, Jaliyah, Quindelle and your other female friends. Why can’t you see Channy in that way?” Granny’s voice softened.

  “’Cause Chance ain’t like them.” I stared at the floor. Chance wasn’t like any chick I had ever met. She was patient, kind, selfless, and chill as fuck.

  “So, you’re okay with her falling in love and starting a family with someone else? ‘Cause that’s what’s going to happen. If you won’t see her for the wonderful person she is, someone else will.”

  The room fell silent after that. On some real shit, I couldn’t even see Chance settling down with nobody. I had never thought that far into our future. For so long, shit with us had been easy. But as of late, our friendship was spiraling downhill .and fast.

  Seeing Chance cry because of me, left me feeling conflicted. Growing up, I swore on my life anybody who hurt her would have to answer to me. But how the fuck could I answer to myself? Making Chance my woman would alter everything we’d become accustomed to. It didn’t help that she was so innocent and naïve.

  My text alert sounded off.

  Jelly: Is he up?

  Me: Nah

  Chance and Love had left a little over an hour ago and both promised to be back in the early a.m.

  Jelly: I can’t sleep. Do you want me to come back?

  Granny yawned as I scratched my head. With her head rested on the side of Chase’s bed, she closed her eyes.

  Jelly: Did you eat?

  Me: Nah

  Jelly: You need to eat something True

  Me: I’m straight

  “Granny, if you tired, go ahead and go home. I’ll call you in a couple hours.” Standing up, I made my way over to her. “Lying like that ain’t good for your back.” She’d had surgery just last year on her spine.

  She yawned again. “I’m okay. I don’t want you sitting up here by yourself, baby.”

  Jelly: Getting dressed now. Be there in 30

  Me: It’s late. Stay home Chance

  Jelly: I’m omw I know Granny is tired.

  “I’ll leave when the sun comes up,” Granny hummed lowly.

  “Go head.” I texted Chance back.

  “Now?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded, calling Love. “I’m ‘bouta have Love come scoop you.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah. Chance is on the way.”

  Granny smiled. “I knew she’d be right back.”

  Licking my lips, I waited on Love to answer.

  Yeah, me too.

  12

  Karma

  Chance

  “I know about you and True.” Love grinned.

  I almost choked on the water I’d just consumed.

  “I heard him talking to Granny Ann in the kitchen a little while ago.”

  I cleared my throat. “And True told her that?” I refused to believe True would do that. It wasn’t even in his character.

  “No, but the entire conversation hinted around it.” She leaned over on the arm of her chair. “You had sex with him, huh?” She grinned.

  Shaking my head, I took a sip of water.

  “Is that a no? No, you don’t wanna talk about it?” she pressed.

  When I ignored her and kept drinking, she jumped up from her seat.

  “Ewww….” She laughed. “I can’t believe you gave it up to True’s ugly self.”

  I giggled. “He is not ugly.”

  “So, you did!” Love’s hands flew to her mouth dramatically. “Oh my God.”

  “Can you stop being so loud?” I looked at the open door. The last thing I needed was for somebody to hear us, especially True.

  “I can’t say that I’m surprised.” She smirked. “It was bound to happen sooner or later. You both try to put on this huge front, but the people around you know what’s up.”

  I looked her over slowly. “Okay, since people know so much. what’s up with me and True?”

  Leaning against the counter, Love folded her arms. “Ya’ll love each other.”

  “That’s not a secret, though.” Who didn’t know that I loved everything about True? We’d been close for almost twenty years. That was two decades worth of highs and lows, laughs, and cries. It was to the point that I was even growing to love the things I’d once hated about True.

  “So, you don’t want to be with him?”

  “What happened between True and I was—”

  “A mistake?”

  “No.”

  “An accident?”

  “No.”

  “Spur of the moment—”

  “Love, let me talk please.” I giggled.

  She rolled her eyes and then waited for me to continue.

  “What happened with me and True was meant to happen.”

  Love sucked her teeth, giving me the side eye. “Chance, why do you do that?”

  “Do what, My Love?” I smiled, calling her by the nickname I used whenever she was being nosey.

  She pushed off the counter. “You hide your feelings to accommodate other people.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Then what do you call it?”

  “I mind my own business and take full responsibility for me. I’m only in
control of me and my life. I can’t make someone like, love, or respect me. Whereas you think I’m accommodating, in actuality, I’m protecting my inner peace.”

  Love’s head tilted slightly as she let what I’d said resonate. “I never thought about it like that.”

  “My mom is real into yoga.” I stood up to stretch.

  “I can see that.” She nodded. “Whenever I do see her, Ms. Sonia always has something nice to say.”

  I nodded in total agreement. “She might’ve rubbed off on me.”

  “Might’ve?” Love’s face contorted into a girl-really expression. “You’re the sweetest person I know.”

  I cheesed. “Awww, thank you, Love.”

  She laughed. “You extra as fuck too, though. Don’t you ever get tired of being nice? Like, when True does something to piss you off, you don’t ever wanna go upside his head?” The serious look she wore made me snicker a little.

  “No. ‘Cause if I do that, then what?”

  “You’ll teach his ass not to fuck with you.”

  “That’ll just drive him away.” I had to disagree with Love’s theory. “You can’t fight fire with fire. That’s why my relationship with True is the way that it is. We balance each other out.”

  “They do say opposites attract.” Love found her seat.

  “Opposites do attract. That’s true.”

  No pun intended.

  I smiled at my inside joke.

  Love rolled her eyes knowingly and then rested her back against the chair. “Like, you’re True’s softer side, and he’s you’re strength.”

  Smiling, I shrugged. “But opposite contains the derivative “opp” in it. True isn’t my opposition. I like to think we are drawn to people by what we see in ourselves.”

  Love shrugged. “I ain’t got time to wait on these niggas I’ll leave that up to you, Jelly.”

  I cut my eyes at her playfully and she laughed.

  “I’m not waiting on True.” I opened my water. “I’ve never waited on True. I let him live his life, and regardless of what anyone thinks, True has let me live mine as well.”

  Since True was overprotective, most thought I couldn’t do anything without his permission. But they were wrong. I still dated, and my sex life was great. I just didn’t go around broadcasting those things because they weren’t important. And if I were to be completely transparent, I didn’t think it was anybody’s business who I chose to sleep with.

  “So, ya’ll are just going to act like it didn’t happen?”

  “No, I won’t, but I’m sure he will. Because he thinks that’s what we should do. I still plan to put some space between us while I meditate on it. I won’t lie and say I’m not angry with True, but after much thought, crying, and Chase’s accident, I’m willing to accept full responsibility.”

  “You’re better than me.”

  Laughing, I shook my head at Love while I channel surfed. “You’re still young.”

  True

  After washing my hands, I dried them and cut the bathroom light off. I had stopped at the crib to take quick a shower and ended up falling asleep on the couch. Chase had woken up twice before I left him at the hospital with Chance and Love. The medicine they had him on kept knocking him out, though.

  “What are you doin’ here?” I frowned seeing Nisha standing at the bottom of the stairs. I hadn’t talked to her ass since the day I dropped her off for speaking out of turn.

  She crossed her arms and watched me descend the steps. “I’ve been calling you.”

  “So?” I hit the bottom, stepped past her, and headed towards the kitchen.

  “True, you mad at me for nothin’.”

  “I ain’t mad.” And if I was it was because she let herself inside my crib with the spare key she knew was in my mailbox. “I’m ‘bouta head out anyway, shorty. So, you gotta bounce.” We made it to the kitchen.

  “I have something to tell you and I need a favor.”

  I chuckled. “I don’t do favors and you know that, Ma.”

  “My cousin, Blaze, is being celebrated for some image award. They’re throwing her this party and I need a date.”

  Going into the fridge, I grabbed the orange juice. Chance hated store-bought juice, so she was always squeezing some. She somehow always managed to replace each container without me knowing. Since we weren’t speaking, I’d been reduced to drinking store-bought juice. I could taste the difference.

  “Will you be my date?” Nisha asked, frowning.

  “No.”

  She stared at me real hard. “You know what? Okay.” She chuckled. “I’ma just get to the point. True, I’m pregnant. And I can’t get an abortion this time.”

  I faced her completely.

  “I’m too far along.” She shrugged.

  “Nisha, man...” Running my hand down my face, I shook my head.

  “True, quit acting like you surprised. As much unprotected fuckin’ we do?”

  Man...

  I smacked my lips. I wasn’t trying to have no baby with Nisha. She knew that. I’d lost count of how many abortions I’d made her have since we started fuckin’. “You did this shit on purpose.” I stared at her.

  “What? No, I didn’t?! Why the fuck would I wanna have a baby by a nigga that don’t give a fuck about me?!”

  “Same reason you still letting that same nigga fuck on yo dumb ass.” I mugged her stupid ass. I wasn’t trying to be stuck with Nisha for the rest of my life. A nigga was already going through enough.

  “You know what?” She sighed. “Why the fuck are you like this?!” When she started crying, I shook my head.

  “The fuck you doin’ all this for, Nisha?” She was blowing my high. As I poured me a cup of orange juice, I tried to remember the last time I had nutted in Nisha. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d fucked her.

  She sniffled, wiping her face. “Why am I not good enough?”

  “You’re worried about the wrong thing.” If Nisha was pregnant by me, it would fuck everything up.

  What will Chance think?

  I wasn’t even sure why that was my first concern, but it was. She hated Nisha even though she tried to act cordial with her.

  “There’s nothing we can do now.” Nisha wiped her face. “And Chance is not naming my baby.”

  “If it’s mine, she is.” I put the juice back.

  “What? Why would Chance name my baby?” Nisha’s nostrils flared. “You got me fucked up.”

  I walked past her and out of the kitchen. Just like Quindelle, Nisha would get over it.

  “I love you, True. Maybe this baby is the push our relationship needs.” She followed me down the hallway and back up the stairs. “We’ve been messing around for how long?”

  My personal phone started ringing. Seeing Quindelle’s name flash across the screen made me smack lips. “‘Sup Quin?”

  “True, where you at?”

  “Why?”

  Nisha huffed loudly. “This girl...”

  “Chasity’s ballet class is getting out earlier than usual and I have to go pick my mom up. Can you go get her?”

  “Yeah.”

  “She should be ready in like twenty minutes.”

  “A’ight.”

  “Oh, and True, is it okay if she spends the night? I’m going to Iowa with my cousin until tomorrow.”

  Shaking my head, I went into my closet. “Yeah.”

  “And ask Chance if Morgan can redo her hair. I want all clear beads this time.”

  I frowned. Quindelle hated Chance, but she was all for her going out of her way to shop for Chasity or making sure her hair stayed braided up.

  “Her braids aren’t fuzzy, but they need to be touched up. Make sure you tell Chance—"

  I hung up the phone.

  “I need a break from these bitches, boah.”

  “Me too?” Nisha stood in the doorway.

  “Especially you.”

  She sucked her teeth.

  “Why are you still here?” I asked, removing a pair of jea
ns and a Saint Laurent hoodie from the hangers. Going to my shoes, I grabbed a Nike box containing a pair of gold metallic foamposites.

  “True, I’m having your baby. Don’t you care?” She stepped back and moved to the side to let me by.

  “Nah, I don’t.” I shrugged. “I can’t deal wit’ that right now,” I told her honestly.

  I had a son in the hospital with a punctured lung, broken leg, and a broken arm. My daughter needed to be picked up and I still hadn’t gotten in the shower. I was gon’ have to get Chasity and stop at Granny Ann’s.

  “So, my baby and I have to come after everything else?”

  “Nisha, man...” I went into my dresser drawers for a white tee, wife beater, underwear, and socks. “I’ma get wit’ you later.”

  “I swear to God I hate you.” Her mad ass stormed out.

  Nisha’s pregnancy wasn’t a good look. My mind kept flipping back to Chance and her reaction.

  I ain’t gon’ tell her.

  I cut the light off and exited the room.

  13

  If you love me, say it

  Chance

  One week later…

  Adjusting my breasts in my red, lace push-up bra with one hand, I waited on Morgan to answer the phone. My nerves were all over the place as I trekked to the kitchen to pour me a glass of wine. When my nephew, Saint, answered the phone, I smiled into the camera. Making sure to hide my body, I waved at him.

  “’Sup, Auntie Chance?” He grinned, tussling his curly taper.

  “Hey, baby. Where’s your mom?” Going into the cabinet, I removed a wineglass.

  “Hol’ up.” Saint then disappeared from the screen.

  I sat my phone down and went to the sink to wash my glass out.

  “I told you about just answering my damn phone,” Morgan snapped. “Stop touchin’ my shit, Saint,” she scolded. “You do too damn much.”

  “It was ringing!” Saint shot back. “Next time, I’ma just let it ring and don’t say nothin’.”