by Nique Luarks
“Because...” I dabbed my teary eyes. “I’m pregnant.”
My mom sat her curling irons down and faced me entirely. “You’re having a baby?”
I nodded.
“Oooh, baby!” She smiled, pulling me up from the commode. “Congratulations, Chance.” She squeezed me.
The water works started as she held me, telling me everything was going to be all right. I knew things would be all right, but when? Because as of lately, I felt like I was losing my grip on reality.
“Stop all that crying. You’re going to lunch with me and your aunt, so come on.” She cuffed me cheeks. “This is a blessing. Fix yourself up and I’ll be waiting for you.” After kissing my forehead, she let me go.
I shut the door behind her and stared in the mirror.
Get it together, Chance.
True
Pulling into a parking spot, I put my whip in park and waited for Nisha to come out of her sister’s house. Today had been her first doctor’s appointment, but I missed it. I’d had to rough a lil’ nigga up at one of the stash houses and lost track of time. I rubbed my eyes, checked the time on the dashboard and let my seat back. With one hand on my burner, I scrolled through my texts.
Nisha got to the car and tried to open the door. “Unlock the damn door, True.”
I popped the locks and turned the heat down.
“You just said fuck me and my baby, right?” Turning all the way around in her seat to face me, Nisha threw a sonogram picture on my lap. “I called you.”
“I was busy.”
“Too busy to see about your fuckin’ child?” She scoffed. “I swear to God I’m not ‘bouta let you stress me out.”
“Then shut up.”
“You shut up. I was so embarrassed, True. I was trying to hold the doctor off, telling her you were coming.”
“I was coming,” I stated calmly.
“Is this how you’re about to be?”
“Nisha, man, I didn’t come over here for all that.” She was lucky a nigga had a conscience and cared enough to make sure everything was good.
“Whatever, True.” She folded her arms. “Can I have some money?”
“Don’t you have a job?” I took a sip of lean.
Nisha smacked her lips. “True, I can’t be stripping pregnant. What if fall or something? And I’m starting to show.”
I took another drink. “I ain’t got no money.” I chuckled.
Women were expensive as fuck. First, it was Chance and her renovations. Then Jaliyah needed to borrow money every other day. Quindelle had a shopping problem, and now, I was dealing with Nisha’s begging ass.
“Yes, you do,” she shot back.
I tapped my pockets. “Nah...”
She sighed. “So, when my rent is due and I can’t pay, I can come live with you, right?”
“Nope. I know yo sister got an extra bedroom.”
Nisha frowned. “See, you play all day. I’m serious.”
I was too.
“Are you going to at least come to the next appointment?”
Nodding, I ignored a call.
“I’ll see you later.” She opened her door and hopped out. “Can you answer the phone when I call? It could be an emergency.”
I raised my seat back up. “Shut my door, Nisha.” I took another sip of my drink before I sat the double Styrofoam cup in the holder. I ran my hands down my mouth and then turned my music up.
Nisha slammed the door and I peeled off.
“Daddy, can you tell Chase to stop?!” Chasity yelled from her bedroom.
Covering my face with my right arm, I tucked my left into my sweats. “Chase!” He was the only lil’ nigga I knew who could sit in a fuckin’ wheelchair and still terrorize.
“She’s lyin’!” he yelled back.
I chuckled.
“Stop rolling over her head, Chase!” my wookie screamed. The pout in her voice let me know she was on the verge of tears.
“You a cry baby.” Chase laughed. “This ain’t even a real baby. Look.” The room went silent and then...
“Chase stop running her over!”
“Aye! Chase, come here, dude.” I waited on him to roll his electric wheel chair into my room. Jaliyah was being extra as fuck when she’d bought it. Closing my eyes, I dozed off.
“Daddy!” Chasity jumped on my bed. “Wake up.”
I kept my eyes closed. “Chase...”
“Huh?”
“Quit fuckin’ wit’ your sister.”
He sucked his teeth. “She fu... messing wit’ me.”
“Wookie, if he keeps on, knock his ass out.” My son was a bully and sometimes, Chasity got caught in his war path. I didn’t mind whenever he toughened her up, but the last thing I needed was Chasity calling Chance crying. Chance had a way of softening people. One look, hug, or kind word from her was all it took to bring the inner actress out of Chasity.
“Okay.” She laid next to me.
Chase laughed. “I will knock you out.”
“Then I’ma knock you out.” I chuckled.
Chasity giggled. “My daddy got my back.”
“I got my own back,” Chase said nonchalantly.
My phone started ringing and Chasity answered. “Hello?”
Rubbing my eyes, I looked up at the ceiling.
“Hi, Mama.” She stood up in my bed. “Nothing. He’s laying down.”
Chase smacked his lips. “Her mama is annoying.”
I shook my head.
“Daddy, my mama said her lights is cut off.”
I frowned.
“She said can we stay here.”
Man...
Quindelle knew exactly what she was doing having Chasity ask.
“Why her mama so broke?” Chase asked in an even tone.
“Yo mama broke!” Chasity snapped back.
“Both of y’all mama’s is broke.” I took my phone from Chasity. “Yo...”
“True, they cut my lights off.”
“How the fuck yo lights off Quindelle? I just cashed you out a couple of weeks ago.” Quindelle was backwards as fuck. The bitch had all them shoes and clothes. She switched wigs every other day, and her whip was paid off. Her lights shouldn’t have been disconnected.
“They saying my bill is $1,100.”
“So, you just said fuck the lights, huh?”
She smacked her lips.
“Pay it with the money I gave you.”
“I spent it. It was only a couple racks, True. After I left the mall I barely had money to put gas in my car.”
See? Ass-backwards…
“Man...”
“So, are you going to give me money to pay it?”
“Fuck nah. I look like a bank to you, Quindelle? Get yo ass up and make somethin’ shake, shorty.”
Chasity tapped my arm, pouting. She was getting older and didn’t like me cussing at her mama.
“Can I stay there until I figure something out?”
“Go to yo daddy’s house.”
“She can come here, Daddy.” Chasity laid her head on my shoulder. “She can sleep in my room.”
I sighed.
“True, my dad’s house is full and my cousin’s boyfriend just got out of jail, so I don’t want Chasity over there.”
“Well, then you stay there, and she can stay here.”
“Really, True? Who’s going to watch her and make sure she gets to school? You?” She laughed. “Nigga, you barely be at home.”
“Quindelle, dawg, you gon’ make me fuck you up.”
“I’m on my way.” She chomped down on a piece of gum.
I hung up the phone and handed it back to Chasity.
“Is my mama coming?”
“I hope not.” Chase grabbed the remote off my bed.
“You and me both, son.”
19
Lost in emotions
Chance
I walked into Morgan’s shop with Chasity leading the way. Her long hair swayed from side to side as she bounced to Morgan�
�s booth. After acknowledging a few women I recognized, I joined them.
“I wasn’t expecting y’all today.” Morg played in Chasity’s hair.
After putting my purse on her work station, I crossed my arms. “I took the beads out for you. Can you wash and condition it? We’re going to break from the braids for a week or two.” I ran my hands through Chasity’s silky braids.
Morgan nodded. “Okay. You want me to put it in a bun?”
“Yeah.” Quindelle could figure out what she wanted to do after that.
Morgan grabbed a comb. “You look tired, friend.” She focused on taking the small braids in Chasity’s hair down.
“I haven’t been feeling too good.” Morning sickness made it almost impossible to get out of bed some days.
“Have you taken anything?”
I shook my head no.
“I might have something in my purse.” Morgan stopped what she doing. “You want me to check?”
“It’s okay. When I drop Chassy off I’m going straight home.”
“Girl, you hear about Nisha and that nigga True?”
My eyes shot in the direction of two chicks sitting under a pair of dryers.
The one with long, claw-like nails, flipped through a magazine. “You know she pregnant.”
The shop started buzzing with conversation after that.
Claws looked in my direction. “Is it a rumor or for real?” she asked with a straight face. “Do Nene and True got a baby on the way?”
I shrugged. However, I was sure Nisha wasn’t pregnant for two reasons. One, True would never let her keep the baby, and two, if she was indeed pregnant, I would’ve gotten a call from her by now.
“Well, that’s what she’s telling everybody.” Claws’ friend added her two cents. “I saw the sonogram and everything.”
I frowned.
“Bout time she locked that nigga down.” They slapped hands.
“Right. She set for life too.”
I looked to Morgan who looked down at the floor.
She knows something.
Sitting in a vacant seat, I crossed my arms.
“I heard she was supposed to be moving in with him too.”
“Nun uhn!” Chasity said with an attitude. “My mama already lives with my daddy.”
What?
I looked up at Morgan who was now shaking her head.
“Oh damn! That nigga True be having whole line-ups and shit.” The shop filled with laughter.
“You bitches be in everybody’s business but your own,” Morgan finally spoke up.
Claws sucked her teeth but didn’t say anything.
“Come on, Chassy. Let me take your hair down in my office.” Morgan helped Chasity down from her chair.
I got up, grabbed my purse, and followed them to the back. Once we were in Morgan’s office with the door shut, I found a seat in the lounge area. Morgan grabbed a chair from in front of her desk and placed it in front of the television. As I picked Chasity something to watch, Morgan started on her hair again.
“Is that the rumor, Morg?” I glanced in her direction.
Morgan’s shop was the go-to place for all of the latest gossip and hood updates. I couldn’t even count on two hands the amount of fights she’d had to break up either inside or in the parking lot. It didn’t help that she made mixed drinks for customers to sip on while they waited to be serviced.
She shrugged. “You know how bitches are. Word is Nisha is going around showing a sonogram saying she like four or five months pregnant.”
My heart dropped to my stomach.
“You know how Nisha do, though. Her ass stay lyin’ for some attention.” Morgan’s voice softened. I guessed she saw the disappointment etched across my face. “Don’t trip.”
After kicking my pumps off, I pulled my feet up onto the sofa. How could I not trip? I didn’t want to believe True could be that reckless. Having unprotected sex with multiple people was the quickest way to catch an STD. Then what Chasity said about Quindelle staying with him started weighing heavy on my heart.
I didn’t want to be just another baby mama.
I was lying across my bed watching “60 Days In” when True swaggered into my room. Chasity was wrapped in my blanket so tight, all you could see was the Chanel scarf on her head. She snored lightly, gaining an occasional snicker out of me.
“Wassup, Jelly?”
“Hey, True.” I offered a small smile. He was supposed to have picked Chasity up two hours ago. The only reason I hadn’t dropped her off at Granny Ann’s was because she had eaten and then crashed. She was knocked out cold when I wrapped her hair up.
True sat down at the foot of my bed and put his face in his hands.
“You okay?”
He nodded.
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” He laid on his back. “What she end up getting done to her hair?”
“She just got a shampoo and deep conditioning. She’s been getting braids back to back. All the stress on her hair isn’t good.”
True closed his eyes. “A’ight.”
“Tell Quindelle she has to moisturize her scalp and wrap her hair every night.”
“A’ight.”
We sat in silence. True seemed to be just as tired as Chasity. I wanted to tell him to get all the way in the bed, but I didn’t want to overstep the boundaries I’d set. His phone went off and he sucked his teeth with his eyes still closed. True ignored the caller and grabbed a decorative pillow by his head.
“True...” I turned the volume down.
“Wassup, Jelly?”
“Is Nisha pregnant?”
Putting the pillow behind his head, True shook his head. “Nah. Who told you that?”
“They were talking about it at Morgan’s shop.” I studied his face. It was hard to read him with his eyes closed. “They said she had a sonogram and everything.”
“You know how Nisha do.” His phone sounded off again.
“Is Quindelle living with you?”
He shook his head no. “Her lights are off.”
That meant he’d been sleeping with her. Jealously simmered in my veins. It seemed as though everything we’d discussed the night he went through my phone went out the window. Crossing my arms, I stared at him. He stuck his hand in his pants and cleared his throat.
“What, Jelly?”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to.”
And I’m not going to.
“I wasn’t going to say anything.” I flipped through the channels.
“She’s leaving this week.”
“Okay.” I sighed.
There was no way Quindelle was staying with him and they hadn’t slept together. But that was none of my business. Who True smashed had nothing to do with me. So, why were my feelings hurt?
True’s snoring broke me from my thoughts. Getting comfortable, I stared up at the television mounted on the wall. Call me petty, but I was satisfied with knowing he was with me instead of running the streets being a man whore.
True
“Stop tellin’ muthafuckas you pregnant, Nisha.” I balanced my phone between my ear and shoulder as I put another stack of hundreds into the bill counter.
She smacked her lips. “I’m excited about being a new mama, True. Why you always trying to control somebody’s happiness? It’s bad enough you missed my doctor’s appointment.”
“Fuck all that.” Nisha needed to stay under the radar until I found out how to tell Chance. I’d heard the disappointment in my Jelly’s voice the other day when she asked me. I should’ve told her the truth right then, but I had punked out. I, True Jones, had punked out on hurting another muthafuckas feelings. Chance had me slipping.
“Everybody’s gon’ find out eventually.”
By then, I would’ve told Chance.
“Wait.” Nisha chuckled. “Is this about Chance? Oaklynntold me she was up at the shop when they were talkin’ about it.”
“Just do what I said.”
“Fuck you, True!” she yelled like the psycho she was. “What I’m not about to do is hide my pregnancy for that bitch!”
“Watch your mouth.”
“Boy, fuck you!”
I chuckled. “Oh, you mad mad?” Nisha was probably in front of her people showing out. That was the only time she was on her rowdy tip. Once she got alone, she’d be blowing me up, begging me to hear her tough ass out.
“I’m not laughing, True.”
“And I’m not playin’ wit’ you, Nisha.” I wrapped a rubber band around a stack. “If Chance calls asking me about some shit she done heard, you gon’ hate me, shorty.” I reloaded the machine and looked up at the door when Drake walked through.
We locked B’s and he sat down on the sofa across from me.
“You know,what? I’ma find me a nigga who gon’ treat me better than you do. I’m too flyy for a nigga like you.”
“Is that what you think?” I smirked. “I thought it was the other way around. You talkin’ all this rah-rah shit like bitches like you are hard to come by. I can go outside right now and not even step off the porch, point a bitch out, and have her suckin’ and fuckin’ me way better than you. Stop playin’ wit’ me.” She knew what was up.
Nisha was getting beside herself. Yeah, she was a dope little piece, but she wasn’t the only one out there. Shit, I had three other BM’s who were just as fine or badder than she was. And they all loved a nigga.
“And I hope your dick falls off too!”
I shrugged as if she could see me.
“I bet you won’t be in my baby’s life.”
We both knew that was a lie. Nisha was just talking to hear herself. “I’ma get wit’ you later, shorty.” Hanging my phone up, I tossed it on the beat-up table. “Wassup, my guy?” I watched the number on the machine climb.
“Shit…” He sat his glock on his lap and kicked one leg up on the table. “Just dropped Erica off. Her spoiled ass be breakin’ a nigga.”
I chuckled. This nigga got out of prison and fell in love wit’ a young broad. Erica was cool people, though. Childish and spoiled, but she was like family so she was good.
“I heard you beat the fuck outta that lil’ nigga, Loonie.” Drake glanced around the living room. “I was mad as fuck I missed it.” He sparked up a blunt.
