If Only for the Summer

by Alexandra Warren

  &

  The pep talk Nova and I gave Jaxson all the way to school meant absolutely nothing now that we were actually in the building, actually standing outside of his classroom, actually ready to drop him off while he cried bloody-murder.

  “Jax, you’ll only be here for a little while and then I’ll come back and get you. I promise,” I told him, peeking back towards Nova who was across the hall face deep in her phone, but wearing a smirk as if she fully expected this to happen.

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “No!” he screamed, crossing his arms defiantly.

  I released a heavy sigh, just staring at him while I tried to come up with a new strategy that didn’t involve taking him to the bathroom and beating his little ass like my father would’ve done me. But before anything came to mind, Nova finally approached us, squatting down in front of him and asking in the softest voice, “Hey big boy. What’s the matter?”

  Jaxson was completely in tune, wiping his own face as he answered, “I wanna… stay with you. And Daddy.”

  “Can I tell you a secret?” she asked, waiting for him to nod which caused a single tear to stream down his face. But Nova’s determination didn’t waver as she wiped it away before she leaned in to whisper something in his ear.

  The longer and longer she spoke, the wider and wider his eyes got, until eventually his frown turned upside down and he asked, “Really?!”

  Nova nodded. “Yep. So now do you wanna go to school? I’ll even come in with you for a minute.”

  “Okay! Bye Daddy!” he yelled, giving me a hug so quick I hardly got a chance to react before he had already let go.

  Nova opened the door to his classroom, turning around to whisper, “I’ll be right back.” And while I wanted to get some immediate answers for her Jaxson-Voodoo skills, I only nodded as I watched my son proudly stroll into the classroom next to his new friend.

  They located his teacher, met some of the other kids, and even engaged in a puzzle before Nova slipped out without saying goodbye. And as we both watched him through the glass window of the classroom, I told her, “He’s gonna cry once he realizes you’re gone.”

  She brushed me off, smiling proudly as she insisted, “He won’t. He doesn’t even care about us anymore. Too much new stuff to play with and too many new people to entertain.”

  I wasn’t as convinced as she seemed to be. But after watching him for a few more minutes and finding her theory to be true, we decided it was safe to leave.

  Once we got to the car, I couldn’t help but ask, “What did you say to him?”

  She was already back on her phone, typing away as she answered, “I told him that if he’s a big boy all day long at school that we can watch an episode of his favorite cartoon together on Netflix tonight.”

  “Ohhh, so you talked him into some Netflix and Chill so that he’d go to school? Classy,” I teased as I pulled out of the parking lot, catching the side eye she threw my way before going back to her phone.

  As she typed out her message, she fired back, “Don’t be mad cause I got skills and you don’t.”

  “I have skills. I mean, you keep saying how good of a kid he is. That’s gotta count for something, right?” I asked, trying to earn myself at least a few points.

  But Nova only gave me half credit when she replied, “It does, though I’m sure some of it can also be attributed to his mother.”

  I nodded to agree. “Yeah, you’re right about that. Mariah is as solid as they come.”

  If I was going to be in a situation where I wasn’t with the mother of my child, having Mariah as my partner in that was truly ideal, especially now that our friendship was back on solid ground. Conversations about Jaxson’s well-being easily turned into conversations about our lives in general, though we both knew we weren’t interested in ever rekindling the flame. But we were good as friends and made a damn good parenting team, and that was all there was ever going to be to it.

  As if I had talked her up, my phone rang through the car’s Bluetooth system I had synced it to with her name scrolling across the dashboard screen. And even though I wasn’t exactly sure why she was calling or what she would say, I still had no problem answering it in front of Nova, pressing the button on the steering wheel before I asked, “Baby Mama, what’s the word?”

  Mariah smacked her teeth in the phone as she threatened, “I swear to God I’m knocking your ass out when you get back in town.” Making me laugh as she continued, “Where’s my baby?”

  “You just missed him. I dropped him off at his new school for the summer,” I explained, peeking over at Nova who had her eyes trained to her phone as if she was trying her hardest not to listen to our conversation.

  I could hear the anxiety in Mariah’s voice as she groaned, “Oh my God, how’d he do? Did he cry?”

  “You know he did, but we worked it out. He was fine when I left,” I insisted, knowing I had Nova to thank for that.

  Still, that didn’t exactly bring Mariah any comfort as she sighed, “My poor baby. Can you send me the contact info for his teacher? I’d like to get the same updates that you do.”

  While it seemed a little ridiculous since I could forward her all of the same things and it wasn’t like she was here to do anything about it, I still agreed, “Gotcha, Riah. Anything else?”

  “You enjoying your trip?”

  I nodded as if she could see me. “I am. Very much so in fact.”

  Once again, I peeked over at Nova who acted as if she was still engrossed in her phone, though I could see the hint of blush in her cheeks meaning she had heard my comment. But on the other hand, Mariah had read beyond my comment to reply, “Good Lord. I think I know what that means…”

  “I’ve actually kept it to myself, thank you very much,” I defended, regardless of the close call situation I had found myself in the night before.

  Mariah didn’t seem too convinced, brushing me off to say, “Whatever, crazy. Let me get back into the hospital. Just call me when you pick him up tonight please.”

  “Will do, baby mama.”

  She immediately groaned as expected. “Ugh. You get on my nerves.”

  “Back at you, baby girl,” I replied with another laugh before ending the call.

  I thought nothing of the conversation as I continued the drive towards the condo, but it was clear Nova was already reading a little too deeply into my teasing when she said, “Sounds like you two are pretty close.”

  It was interesting to see her reaction, interesting that she had a reaction at all as if it really mattered to her, especially if it was who I thought it was that she was still messaging back and forth with. But since I didn’t have an issue being transparent, I shrugged as I answered, “Practically grew up together, share a child. I guess I’d have to agree.”

  “So if you two are pretty close that means last night probably shouldn’t have happened...” she trailed, gnawing on her lip as she waited for me to confirm everything she was already thinking.

  But I couldn’t confirm since the truth was, “We aren’t like that, Nova. We’re friends, parents, but she has a boyfriend. And I... see other people too.”

  My response seemed to legitimately puzzle Nova, her face scrunched as she turned in her seat to say, “But you guys are so… nice to each other.”

  “We shouldn’t be nice to each other?” I asked, my eyebrow piqued as I tried to catch her drift.

  Her explanation was more to herself than me when she replied, “I mean… yeah, you should. I guess that’s important. But it’s also so… different; from what I’m used to seeing... in situations like this. And I promise I’m not trying to offend you or anything. I guess my mind is just a little blown, and maybe I’m also a teeny bit confused.”

  “What is there to be confused about?”

  While I understood Mariah and I actually getting along as well as we did might’ve been an anomaly, I honestly thought it was something that should’ve been praised instead of causing confusion. But it was app
arent I was focused on the wrong part of the scenario, Nova’s head elsewhere when she asked, “If you two can be such good friends, why didn’t it work? Relationship-wise?”

  A year or two ago, that would’ve been a question I was too jaded to answer. But thankfully we had both grown to the point where I could now easily explain, “What Mariah and I shared back in the day was… special. So when we both moved back to the city after college, it seemed like nothing to try and capture that again. And I suppose we did on a physical level since we made Jaxson, but everything else we didn’t see the same. We had grown apart in ways we didn’t realize until we were going at each other’s neck about it night after night while trying to make it work on that level. So eventually we separated, and things have pretty much been golden since.”

  Nova was quiet as she digested my answer, probably overanalyzing in the way she always seemed to do. And while I knew she was thinking deeply, I still wasn’t expecting her to ask, “Did you think she was the one?”

  I shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know. I mean, I toyed with the idea of proposing when I found out she was pregnant, had picked out a ring for her and everything. But it never felt completely right, and I suppose now I know why.”

  The phrase, “Dodging a bullet” seemed a little too severe for the circumstances, but I could’ve only imagined how things would’ve been if I had made that move, forcing us to stay together for better or worse. The fights we would’ve had, the toxic environment we would’ve created for Jaxson long term, and how that would’ve affected everything about him moving forward. But being apart and able to focus on just him was what had allowed me to regain my appreciation for who Mariah was. And even if we weren’t going to be together, I was still confident in continuing, “Things just weren’t in the cards for us, but she still gave me the greatest gift in my son. So I’ll always appreciate her for that, always show her the utmost respect, always have love for her.”

  “As it should be,” Nova replied with a look of admiration in her eyes.

  Now that I had her back on leveled-understanding, I decided it was time to shine the spotlight on her, get answers to the questions that had been lingering in my mind all morning. “Alright, enough about me. What’s up with you?”

  “What do you mean?” she asked, her rosy cheeks giving more away than she probably realized.

  But even if she was going to try and play it down, that wasn’t exactly my style, prompting me to be direct when I elaborated, “You’ve been chipper all day, giggling all in your phone and shit. Loverboy tryna win your heart back?”

  The question made her tense up, her nose flaring as she asked, “What? No. This isn’t him I’ve been texting.”

  “Ohhh, so you done went ahead and snagged you a new nigga? I told you that picture was the one,” I teased, hoping that wasn’t actually the case.

  Her tense expression turned into more of a grin as she pulled the corner of her lip between her teeth and stared down at the screen. “It’s not a… nigga. It’s just Kaylin. I was telling her about last night after she left and she’s been rippin’ into me all morning about…” she stopped abruptly, her cheeks turning even more red as if the ending was something embarrassing.

  “About what?” I asked, knowing there was nothing to be silly about no matter how lame it was.

  But it turned out not to be lame at all when she finally blurted, “About how I should’ve rode your dick off into the sunset.” Before covering her face with her hands.

  While my eyes did go a little wide at what sounded like a direct quote from Kaylin, I shrugged it off to reply, “That’s a real ass friend for you.”

  “Oh my God. Shut up!” she squealed, smacking a hand against my arm that I pretended to dodge.

  “What? I’m just sayin’. Pretty sound advice from your girl,” I said, only making her blush even harder as I continued, “Nah, I’m just messin’ with you, sweetheart. You wasn’t ready for all that. You got some shit to handle like you said, and I respect that. I respect you.”

  Even if her explanation from the night before was a little foggy in my mind, I knew there was a lot of truth to it, enough for me to stay in my lane and wait for her to make her move. Flirting with her was nothing, but anything more would be completely on her terms.

  She seemed to appreciate that, whispering a soft, “Thank you,” as I pulled into the circle drive of the building. But the second I watched her ass as she climbed out of the car, I felt myself already slipping back into my old ways, the moment tempting me to say something slick as we made our way into the building.

  Somehow I held off, the elevator ride up to our floor quiet, though Nova did shoot a friendly smile my way before diving into her phone. And once we made it into our spot, she didn’t seem in a rush to get away from me, her slow steps giving me unnecessary ammunition. Ammunition I couldn’t help but get rid of when I caught her by the wrist to say, “I’ll be in bed until it’s time to pick up Jaxson. So if you’re feeling the urge to follow Kay’s directions, I mean... the stage will already be set.”

  For a second she just stared at me as if she was really considering it, a reaction I wasn’t expecting. But just as quickly, she was pulling away from me to head towards her room, tossing over her shoulder, “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”

  Nova

  “So…”

  “So…”

  “Any updates?” Kaylin asked over the rim of her martini glass, the heavy bass throughout the club forcing her to raise her voice so that I could actually hear her. It was our first time hitting the scene together since I had been in town and she had gone all out, having a personal stylist pull outfits for us to wear, getting us a makeup and hair team for glam, a VIP section with bottle service; the whole nine. But now I knew that was all just a part of her ploy to get more details about whatever was happening between Guy and I, something I really couldn’t speak on since I didn’t quite understand it myself.

  I suppose he had made his intentions clear, giving me the space to figure things out like he promised. But it almost seemed as if he had fallen back a little too hard, making me wonder was he still even interested in the things he had brought up before - interested in me.

  It had been more than a week since his official declaration, and now the slick little comments he always seemed to have were no longer, the heart-stopping glances he shot my way were few and far between, and he hadn’t pressed me at all for updates about my relationship with David.

  Honestly, I couldn’t blame him. There was a city full of beautiful, baggage-free women for him to choose from, so it didn’t make sense to continue chasing after me. But I wished it hadn’t been so easy for him to do, though I really only had myself to fault for not urgently establishing the clarity I had insisted on; the reason he was giving me space in the first place.

  Just the thought put me in a slight funk, offering Kaylin a shrug when I shouted back, “Nothing worth sharing!”

  The response wasn’t as convincing as I imagined, the disbelief apparent in her expression as she gushed, “Come on, Nova. There’s gotta be something brewing between you two by now.”

  “According to the schedule of your plan to set us up?” I asked, my eyebrow piqued as I tried to get her to admit her role in all of this.

  But she held strong, only the slightest smirk on her face as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder and replied, “No. According to the way he keeps looking over here like he can’t wait to get you back to the condo. I mean, you must’ve given him a reason to be checking for you so tough.”

  I didn’t understand what she was talking about until she nodded forward towards where the bouncer was standing, engaged in a conversation with Lamar and Guy who I didn’t realize would be joining us. And while it was usually Lamar stealing all of the attention with his height, my eyes were stuck on Guy who looked way too good to be out in public. I mean, how dare he show up to the club looking good enough to have me finishing off my drink in one gulp?

  Of course he always looked
good around the house, usually in basketball shorts and a t-shirt. But tonight, he looked… like a one-night stand waiting to happen.

  I tried to shake it off, turning my attention back to Kaylin to finally reply, “I didn’t do anything!”

  “Yet. You didn’t do anything yet,” she corrected with a knowing smile.

  “Don’t you have your own ogling man to worry about?” I asked, trying to take the spotlight off of me as Lamar and Guy approached us, Lamar’s eyes twinkling with adoration for his wife as if it was the first time he had laid eyes on her.

  Kaylin matched his adoring look, her eyebrow raised as if she already knew what game he was going to play when he announced, “Ladies. I see your drinks are getting low. Can me and my patna here pour you another? And maybe get a little dance to go along with it?”

  “Of course, handsome. How about that dance first?” Kaylin asked as she smoothed a hand down her dress, earning a low, appreciative whistle from her husband before he guided her out towards the dance floor.

  I was so in awe at their love that I almost forgot I had my own situation waiting on me until he asked, “You game, Nova?”

  For whatever reason, the question made me uneasy as if I wasn’t expecting it. But I suppose it was simply the idea of being close to him that had me jittery, my voice shaky when I answered, “Uh… Yeah. Sure.”

  He offered me a smile as he extended his hand my way, capturing mine before leading us out towards the dance floor, a few paces away from Kaylin and Lamar. But you would’ve thought they were the only two in the club the way they were so enamored with each other, not even acknowledging us joining them. Or maybe I was just a little too into their business instead of focusing on my own, that made even more apparent when Guy said, “It’s okay to look at me, Nova. I promise I’m not gonna bite you.”

  Even though I knew he was only joking, just the mention of his mouth against my skin made me shiver, bringing on all sorts of erotic thoughts. In fact, the song, “Love in this Club” by Usher was practically playing on loop in my head, so much so that I thought it was also playing out loud. But it wasn’t, whatever song that had been playing mixed with a song much slower in, “The Weekend” by SZA.