If Only for the Summer

by Alexandra Warren

  I found myself jumping to his defense a little too quickly, but I couldn’t help myself in telling him, “Your job is important too, you know. It gives those same kids hope, makes them want to strive for more and work hard so they can be just like you.”

  Instead of taking my word, he only laughed. “Nahhh, I’m no one’s role model. Trust me.”

  “You could be and not even know it,” I suggested, already envisioning the few kids from my previous set of students who would surely look up to someone like him for his skills and status alone.

  Still, while he didn’t seem fully convinced, he did at least accept it enough to say, “See. You don’t even know me like that and you already believe in me, spouting all that motivational shit. You must really be a good ass teacher.”

  Shrugging, I replied, “I’m just speaking the truth.”

  “Well I’d like to hear more of your truth, maybe over dinner or somethin’?” he asked, serving me another one of those smiles that were way too hard to turn down. But when I peeked over my shoulder and saw Guy giving Mariah a celebratory high five across the table, I figured there was no real reason to turn him down.

  So I didn’t, instead matching his grin to answer, “Yeah. I’d like that.”

  Guy

  Having Mariah around was cool, but I missed the hell out of Nova.

  Even though she claimed she’d be fine with the visit, she had kept her distance from us, staying late at Kaylin’s after the cookout so I didn’t see her before I fell asleep, rushing out for her morning run before I woke up, and now it was deep in the afternoon and I still hadn’t heard from her. I wondered if her absence had anything to do with that ball player I saw her choppin’ it up with at the pool during the cookout, the one she called herself holding hands and shooting smiles with like I wouldn’t notice.

  I definitely noticed.

  In fact, I noticed everything about her, from the swimsuit she had on under her see-through cover-up, to the extra effort she put into her locs-style, to the way her smile seemed extra wide around ol’ boy. While I had been more than tempted to go bust up their little party, I also didn’t want to cause a scene during what was supposed to be a chill time. And truth be told, we hadn’t really set any boundaries or expectations for what we were doing meaning she was free to do whatever she wanted, including seeing other people.

  Still, that didn’t mean I had to like it. And apparently that was exactly what I was wearing on my face as Mariah joined me in the living room after putting Jaxson down for a nap.

  “Hey. What’s the matter with you?” she asked as she plopped down on the opposite side of the couch.

  I shrugged, continuing to flip through the channels as I pushed out, “Nothin’.”

  “Your girl still hasn’t made it back yet?” she asked, peeking towards the hallway as if she was trying to catch a glimpse of her.

  But once again, I could only shrug. “Nah, I don’t know where she is.”

  “So she really is your girl, huh?”

  I should’ve known that was going to be the follow-up question when I didn’t deny it right off the bat, but maybe I should’ve since I really didn’t know how to explain things, especially now that Nova was out doing who knows what.

  With anyone else, I wouldn’t have been pressed to put words to it. But since Mariah and I were friends and I actually valued her opinion, I gave her my most honest answer. “I mean, not technically. We haven’t had that conversation. Haven’t really known each other long enough to be doin’ all that, and she just got out of somethin’ not too long ago. We’re definitely kickin’ it though.”

  Her face scrunched as she crossed her legs on the couch, tucking the throw pillow between them as she fired back, “Kickin’ it where? Kickin’ it when? I haven’t seen you spend any time with her since I’ve been here.”

  “Damn. A nigga can’t be a good host?” I asked, knowing the only reason I hadn’t been all up under Nova was because of her visit.

  But Mariah still made me feel a little silly once she answered, “It’s called balance, fool. I mean, how would you feel if she had a friend come down and completely ignored the hell out of you?”

  “I wouldn’t let myself be ignored.”

  Of course she smacked her teeth, swinging the pillow at my head to emphasize her annoyance when she snapped, “Well everybody isn’t you, Guy. And if the way ol’ chocolate bae had her hemmed up at the pool yesterday was any indication of his intentions moving forward, you better hurry up and make your move before he does.”

  Just the thought of him had me hot, my face tight as I growled, “If she wants to fuck with that nigga, that’s her decision. I ain’t got nothin’ to do with that.”

  “So you’re really just gonna leave it up to chance like that? Wow. What an idiot,” Mariah groaned, rolling her eyes as she fell back against the couch.

  But her falling back had me sitting up straighter when I asked, “What you call me?”

  “I’m just sayin’, Guy. You clearly like that woman. She seems nice, she’s super pretty, and Jaxson freakin’ adores her. Yet you’re steady in here playing most prideful one like her really dissin’ you won’t hurt your little feelings.”

  She was right.

  Hell, to be real, my feelings were already a little hurt. But as I thought back on the day that had passed, I realized my actions - my lack of balance - might’ve hurt Nova’s feelings as well, even if that wasn’t my intention.

  “So what you tryna say?” I asked a lot more calmly than before, this time ready to take her advice.

  I was all ears as she answered, “I’m sayin’, if you like this girl, let it be known ASAP. Don’t let me get in the way of that. Don’t even let her think I’m getting in the way of that.”

  While I had heard every word and was definitely taking them to heart, I couldn’t help but tease, “You really ain’t tryna get back at ya boy?”

  The way Mariah’s face instantly twisted in response was a mutual feeling, and her words complemented it perfectly. “Hell to the no. I have my own problems to deal with.”

  “You and ol’ Hank goin’ through it?” I asked, glad to take the spotlight off my situation and put it on hers.

  While I expected her to snap at me about making fun of his name, it seemed as if my inquiry actually made her uncomfortable the way she started playing with her fingers in her lap as a distraction. “No, we’re great. Really great. It’s just…”

  “Spit it out, Riah. What’s up?” I pressed, her uneasiness beginning to rub off on me.

  But it made sense once she peeked up at me with glossy eyes to answer, “I think I’m pregnant.”

  “Pregnant? With whose baby?”

  She reached to smack me against the arm as she screeched, “Howard’s, stupid!”

  “Howard’s? He can still do that? I mean, he’s not shooting blanks yet?” I asked, earning myself a scowl even though I was dead ass serious. My guy must’ve really had some super sperm to still be out here making babies.

  Mariah’s annoyance with me was clear as she tucked a curl behind her ear, looking back down to her lap instead of looking at me when she muttered, “Obviously not, asshole.”

  “So Jaxson’s really gonna be a big brother?” I asked, more excited for him since he had just recently started talking about the sibling he needed after finding out one of his little friends at school was getting one. A sibling I damn sure wasn’t giving him anytime soon.

  But I hadn’t realized how fresh the news was until she answered, “Possibly. The at-home test I took before I left was positive, but I still have to go to the doctor to confirm it.”

  With that in mind, I had a feeling she had yet to break it to Howard, wanting to be absolutely sure before she got him too worked up - or gave his old ass a heart attack. But I always wondered how I would feel about something like this, how I would react to such a solid representation of us never getting back together. And I was… happy, legitimately happy for my longtime friend who had always wanted a
bigger family.

  If the mother she was to Jaxson was any indication of who she would be for this baby, the little nugget was already incredibly blessed. And just the thought of seeing her with her tiny ass baby belly all over again lowkey had me misty, a mist she was already matching as I pulled her into a hug.

  “Congratulations, baby girl. For real. I’m so happy for y’all.”

  “Thank you, Guy. That means the world to me,” she replied, her tear slipping out onto my shoulder just as the doors opened.

  I peeked up at Nova who let out an audible gasp. “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to... interrupt.”

  While I could only imagine how the scene looked, especially with Mariah wiping tears out of her eyes, I still tried to play it off when I replied, “Nah, you’re actually right on time. Lemme holla at you real quick.”

  Nova seemed apprehensive, but she still accepted my invitation, heading my way before I led us out towards the balcony. And once we were out there, she seemed even more uneasy, opting to look out at the water instead of at me. But that didn’t mean I didn’t have all eyes on her when I asked, “You aight?”

  Her immediate facial expression contradicted her answer, her nose flaring as she said, “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  I shrugged, stepping closer and watching the way her body tensed up in response meaning not all was lost. And I used that to my advantage, running a gentle hand against the tattoos on her arm as I explained, “I ain’t seen you, ain’t talked to you, so I wasn’t sure. I mean, I was starting to think you were avoiding me on purpose.”

  Her breathing seemed especially calculated when she pushed out, “I... wasn’t. I was just… busy. You know... out and about.”

  Even if that wasn’t code for ol’ boy, I still treated it as such. “Yeah, I saw you done made you a new little friend.”

  “You were the one who said single’s row gets better with time, right?” she asked, confirming my suspicions while also taking a direct jab at my ego.

  The blow stung a little, but I had to recover quickly so that I could agree, “I did say that. But I also wasn’t expecting it to backfire on me.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked, finally giving me her eyes that looked even more gorgeous under the sunlight, the extra glow giving her an angelic feel all around. An angelic feel I couldn’t help but be drawn to, encouraging me to pull her into my arms even if she didn’t seem completely thrilled about it.

  But now that I had her close, it put me in a better position to explain, “It means, while I want you all to myself, I understand if this is part of your process.”

  “You didn’t really leave me with much of a choice,” she whispered as if she was… disappointed, just the way Mariah imagined it.

  Damn.

  Hearing it straight from the horse’s mouth made it hit on a different level as I tightened my hold with one arm while using the opposite hand to lift her chin so I could see her eyes. And while the hint of sadness in them stabbed at me, I hoped my words would help to wash it away.

  “You’re right. And that’s my bad. I wasn’t sure how this whole thing was supposed to go, but I clearly haven’t put my best foot forward,” I admitted, her eyes softening almost immediately as if she was surprised to hear it.

  But just as quickly, she was tensing up again, avoiding my eyes when she said, “I have a date tonight. It’s just dinner, but… if you don’t want me to go, I’ll cancel it.”

  Of course I wanted her to cancel it, just the idea of her going out with another guy making my skin crawl since there was simply no need for it. But I also didn’t want her to think I was trying to control her, didn’t want to fuck something up later down the road that had her regretting the decision to miss out. So against my right mind, I told her, “Nah, go ahead. Have a good time. I don’t mind a little competition.”

  “You don’t?” she asked, once again looking surprised as I left off a little shrug.

  “Nah. I mean, I know what I bring to the table. So if this nigga is really outdoing me, shit, maybe he does deserve your attention.”

  That made her laugh, a real smile finally breaking through as she settled deeper into my arms and ran her hands against my chest. “I must say, your confidence about this is rather attractive.”

  “And you were rather attractive in that swimsuit yesterday,” I added, dropping my hands from her waist to her ass that looked way too good in the little running shorts she had on.

  But my handful of her ass only had her reminding, “Hey, we still have company you know.”

  “Man, she ain’t worried about me. She’s already knocked up,” I replied, the news slipping from my lips with ease like it was my business to share.

  I honestly didn’t even consider the weight of my words until Nova’s face went blank. “Excuse me, what? Knocked up?”

  Of course I was still hyped for my homie and my son, all smiles when I completely spilled the beans. “Yeah, she just told me she might be pregnant.”

  “With whose baby?” Nova damn near yelled, her face tight with an anger I didn’t understand until I realized...

  “Aww damn. It’s not my baby. Her and her ol’ man done put a little croissant in the oven,” I explained with a laugh, Nova’s shoulders immediately sinking with relief.

  “Oh wow. That’s… exciting. Isn’t it?”

  She was fetching for my opinion, probably expecting me to feel a way about it. But since I was genuinely happy for Mariah, I had no problem answering, “Definitely. Howard’s a good look. I’m sure he’ll make a great father.”

  “Not as good as you though,” she gushed, grabbing two handfuls of my shirt to pull me closer for the kiss I assumed she wanted.

  But with one barrier still left to cross, I had no choice but to make her wait, keeping my lips to myself when I told her, “Yeah, we’ll see if that opinion still stands after your date.”

  Nova

  Austin was great company, but he wasn’t Guy.

  He was more of an... interesting friend. Someone you could shoot the shit with and had life experiences so much different than yours that it was fascinating and aggravating all at once. In fact, we found ourselves debating just about everything, from favorite football teams, to all-time greatest basketball players, to best 90s R&B groups and every other topic in between. And while it was fun and refreshing, it only made me that much more excited to get back to the condo - to get back to Guy.

  Apparently, I was giving Austin the same vibes he was giving me as he glared at me over his glass of water to say, “You the homie for real, Nova. I rocks with you.”

  I couldn’t help but smile, a friendly one, when I replied, “You’re pretty cool too, Austin. Thanks for bringing me out.”

  Even if it didn’t amount to anything romantic, it was still cool to be around someone new just to pick his brain and share a meal at a restaurant way out of my budget. His overly attractive smile was merely a bonus now when he brushed me off and insisted, “Ah, it’s nothin’. You know I had to get up on some more of that real shit you be talkin’. Reminds me of back home a little bit.”

  During our small talk at the pool, I had learned that Austin was actually from Houston, hilariously ironic but also memorable enough for me to ask, “Yeah? Do you get back there often?”

  He shrugged. “Not really. As unfortunate as it sounds, I can’t really go back without some shit poppin’ off. You know how niggas get when they think you got money. They start seeing you differently, start believing you forgot where you came from just because you not handing those checks over to them.”

  “Yeah, that is unfortunate,” I replied, picking up on the sadness in his eyes.

  Though it was quickly washed away when he pepped back up to say, “But maybe that’ll change someday. I hope it changes sooner than later, so I can be somebody’s role model or whatever.”

  “Don’t say it like that!” I squealed with a laugh, tossing a hand at him across the table as he laughed along with me.

  Then his fac
e settled in a genuine smile as he said, “Nah, but for real. Thank you for this. I’m glad we crossed paths. And when I come up to Denver to go skiing…”

  “I got you,” I finished for him with a nod and smile of my own, glad things had gone smoothly but also anxious about getting to the condo - getting to him.

  By the time I made it back, most of the lights were off except for the glow coming from the refrigerator that was cracked open. I could only see the legs and feet, but considering there was only one person around with sparkly pink toes, I felt confident in announcing myself when I said, “Mariah?”

  She peeked around the edge of the door with wide eyes, her tense shoulders dropping once she saw it was me. “Ooh, girl. You scared me.”

  “I’m sorry. I was trying to do the exact opposite,” I told her, taking in the surroundings that included an empty carton of ice cream and a jar of pickles.

  And now she was adding cheese sticks to the mix according to her latest grab, closing the fridge behind her and flipping on a light switch before she asked, “So how was your date? Homeboy was fine. I mean, all that chocolate and muscles and… whew. These extra hormones got me trippin’.”

  While I was a little caught off-guard by her vibe, speaking to me like an old friend instead of the stranger that I was, I still tried my best to play it cool when I replied, “Yeah. Guy, uh… he told me the news. Congratulations.”

  “Thank you,” she gushed in a way that made her glowing aura explainable. And as she shoved the cheese stick in her mouth she continued, “I really appreciate you letting me come down and crash at your spot. You didn’t have to be open to it, and I totally understand why you wouldn’t have been. I mean, it takes a pretty secure woman to let her man play host to his baby mama.”

  While I detected a couple flaws in her statement, mainly regarding my security with the situation, the first one I wanted to correct was, “He’s not my…”

  But she quickly cut me off, tossing a hand at me as she said, “Girl, speak for yourself. I’ve known Guy long enough to know when he falls, he falls hard. He goes above and beyond for whoever he’s legitimately interested in. And I’ve seen the way he’s been looking at you, heard the way he talks about you, watched the way he paced back and forth around here while you were out on your date. So he may not be your man, but you are definitely his woman. And to be honest, he kind of… needs someone like you. Even if it’s only for the summer.”