The veils man has created by his ignorance and denial are thinning and her eyes can see what hides behind them. She understands why for so long others have chosen to remain ignorant, wishing her ignorance would return. She sees the psychological blindness coming out of centuries of following without question the ways of leaders bent of hiding the truth. They are numb, nothing more than sheep, sacrificial lambs waiting for the judgement that is coming to take them out of their miserable existence. She is not like them, not anymore. Amber feels the power pulling at her, taking her above the radar of existence, into the veil, where she can see without being seen. There is so much she knows but does not understand about herself. Amber is painfully aware of the difference. She anxiously bides her time until she can continue reading the book, there are answers there for her. It was left for her, created for her so she can know and understand what is being asked of her. Still not completely trusting the source of the information, she is grateful for it's existence nonetheless.
There is a war coming and she is the secret weapon, the unexpected wild card. She can feel this. She is somehow not supposed to be, wrong somehow. Her power and her strength are an accident of design. Someone broke the rules making her what she is, and that's why she has been running for so long. She is an outlaw, even more than she ever knew. She isn't only hiding from the man lying cold and harmless in the morgue. She has another enemy, a much more powerful and fearsome one. She does not know who or what he is, but he won't know what hit him when she gets it all figured out. Trying to build her inner confidence, as the dialogue plays in her mind, she talks herself into a tirade of overconfident drivel, "fake it until you make it."
She used to live her life drowning in fear, and now she can feel the inklings of courage rising up within her like smoke from the fire burning in her soul. She is brimming over with a desire to make things right, and the slow fire of rage feeds her courage even more. She will become a valkyrie bathing in the blood of those who destroy the innocent, a succubus ready to drain the life from the deviants and thieves. None with darkness in their hearts and blood on their hands will escape her. Someday she will do something great. She can see herself in her minds eye and it is almost humorous to her. Somehow every fiber of her being knows it is destined to become truth. She will become a warrior. An image of herself as Zena warrior princess vividly attaches itself to her creative mind and she bursts into laughter. Sword, shield, and leather fringed leotard....not exactly my style... Hold on Toto, we are sure as hell not in Kansas anymore! Something is awake inside her straining to get out. It pushes at the surface of her conscientiousness. Amber isn't sure she is willing to let it out. Her mind is running away with her today, it must be all the stress, I might need medication she thinks, taking a deep cleansing breathe and bracing herself for whatever the day has in store.
Arriving at the store, Amber is surprised to find Rissa is disappointed she didn't bring in her new friend. "I was hoping I would get to see your new little companion. What did you decide on? I keep imagining you bringing home a bunch of fluffy little kittens, and how funny that would be." Rissa says, "You could have called you know"!
"Nope, sorry Rissa, no fuzzy kittens.. actually.. guess I picked a pretty scary dog...she’s a tiny angel to me."
"What is she, a Rottweiler?"
"Nope, an American Bulldog. She’s supposed to get huge and eat anyone who comes calling without permission. She seems pretty harmless to me, but then she’s only eight weeks old." I'm glad you didn't automatically know the breed, I might have had to get worried."
"What is her name, Killer?" Rissa asks, laughing.
"Actually it's Allie." Amber proceeds to bring Rissa into a major giggle fit again explaining the reasoning behind the name.
"Well, please feel free to bring her in, you can keep her kennel in the office when it's raining, and she can play out back most of the day. I'm sure the customers won’t be bothered by her at all. We should probably get her socialized right off the get-go, so she doesn't become a problem for you later. It will be good for you to have her when you walk to work, hey when are you going to learn how to drive that car of yours anyway?"
Amber forgot all about the car, it is such a habit walking everywhere, and the few occasions when she needs a cab don't seem all that inconvenient. She really is pretty comfortable in her tiny little world. Amber realizes there’s an entire city out there yet for her to explore. "I might have to do that soon, I might be ready to expand my boundaries a little." She answers. "Do you know anyone who can drive a stick shift?"
"Yup you need to ask that boyfriend of yours to teach you..Obviously"!
Soul mates and Familiars
When it slows down again, Amber asks Rissa if she has any books about familiars and animal companions. Explaining how strange the initial meeting with the puppy was and how she feels they are meant to be together. She wants to understand more about the supernatural world she has been coerced into becoming a part of. Rissa sits down with her telling her about her own experiences with an out of the ordinary animal connection.
Rissa was just a little girl, when the black dog began coming to her, he was a large fluffy creature appearing out of nowhere and gone just as quickly. For a couple of years the dog was there watching her from a distance. She often caught glimpses of him, but he never came close to her, never made a sound... Just watched. Anytime she went anywhere alone, he was there. She sensed his presence before she saw him most of the time, and she felt he was trying to console her when she was afraid or upset. She went through some rough years there and he was a constant companion. He wasn't hers, and yet somehow she knew he would die for her. She never knew where he came from, or who he actually belonged too. She never even knew his name. He may have actually been a she for all Rissa knew.
One day when Rissa was only eleven years old, the dog saved her life and then disappeared, never to be seen again. She never doubted he had been there all that time knowing something terrible was going to happen to her, he watched and waited with patience and persistence to stop it from happening. She took a short-cut home from school through one of the nature preserves, something she often did. She heard the boys in front of her, but thought nothing of it. She was never really a timid girl and spent hours playing in the swamps alone confident in her knowledge of the area. This day would have been very different without the help of her guardian. The boys were out to find an adventure; not the "Huck Finn" kind of adventure, they were out for blood. They were looking for an opportunity to get someone younger alone out there near the swamp where they could get away with what they had planned.
They had no fear of getting in trouble. People disappear in the swamp all the time, and a body is not going to last long out there without being eaten or sinking into the deep mud where it might never be found. These boys hoped to find a sacrifice for Satan, they sought the blessing of the demon so he would fill them with his power. They wanted to please him and thought a sacrifice of this caliber would take them up to the next level. Initially they were out looking for animals, but that had gotten boring and many kills had not really given them any reward. Logically, they determined he required something bigger. Something more "risky" was necessary to get his attention. They had to reject the laws and the morals of man to become something more. The older boys had told them so, it must be true. Though they knew it was wrong none would stand up against the group, or the word of the older boys waiting for them when they completed their task.
Once an action has been set into motion within a group, it is very difficult for anyone to change it. One of them threw a rock at her, striking her on the side of the head. This was the first moment she realized she was in trouble. Fear filled her, stopping her in her tracks as the blood ran down her face. A voice in her head told her to run and though she tried, one of the boys anticipated her move and had her by the arms in an instant. Holding her arms behind her back he presented her to the others. He didn’t want to be the one to take her life. In that moment there was
a tremendous crackling of branches next to her and terror overcome her. It sounded as if a gun went off, and Rissa was sure she was going to die. She heard growling and screaming. The boy holding her let go and she ran; it would not be until days later that she would hear about a wild dog attack killing four local boys in the swamp. They were torn up so badly that only one even made it to the hospital before he died. She was saved, and somehow she knew it was the big black dog that saved her. Silently she thanked him, sadly she never saw him again.
Rissa finishes her telling."That animal was my guardian, but certainly not a familiar, since they are companion animals rarely leaving the side of their match. I have a book here, a bunch of stories about people who have been saved by their animal companions, and this one is about finding and binding your familiar, though it sounds like the bond you have is already naturally there. This stuff might be interesting to you, but I fear it’s pretty grade school level where you seem to already be in college. What got you thinking along these lines, you seem to have randomly decided to get a pet?"
Amber explains to Rissa how urgently the need to go to the pet shop had come upon her that day and how she looked at so many adorable puppies, but nothing seemed right. She felt anxious and frustrated until the moment she saw the tiny wiggling tail. She had not even needed to see the pup to know she belonged with her. The puppy jumped into her arms and everyone noticed the instantaneous bond. "Though it may seem crazy, I am sure Allie understands me, I can talk to her and sense her feelings in return. I am convinced there is something more here than a normal dog and owner relationship. This must be something more."
After a day of wishing she had the little one with her, Amber runs home anxious to spend time with her baby girl. Allie, happy to see her covers her with kisses after an anxious and urgent run for the back door. The girls, human and canine, sit on the couch cuddling away the afternoon while Amber takes in more of her history lessons. She has begun realizing the more prepared she is for whatever weirdness waits on the horizon the less ugly it will all be.
The book is written from many perspectives and a diverse variety of sources, some pages are stories, others poetry, some predictions and prophecies. Some sections are filled with scribbled notations on family histories and time lines. Amber knows every page is important or it wouldn't be in this book. Hoping to confirm some of what she is reading with some of the books in her Grandmother's collection, Amber makes notes of dates and incidents that seem relevant. There’s a wealth of wonderful stuff in that room. Since she's been dropped into this great supernatural sub-culture she intends to find out as much about who she is and where she comes from as possible. Amber hopes to get at least some information from sources she trusts and there are not many of those. Having no idea who sent the book and why; she's not quite ready to bet her life on what is inside it quite yet, caution hasn't left the building.
Beginning where she left off, Amber reads about the numerological aspects of the rituals, the importance of the number seven. The significance of tears of blood and a test to determine their worthiness. The more she reads, the more she believes this has some connection to the little one she saw in her vision. Wanting to ask James about it, she reasons that since she is involved somewhat, maybe it's okay to at least ask whether they found him. She has not had a recurrence of the vision, so she thinks it's likely they have, and James has been very busy with the case, suggesting it is moving along. She knows he isn't alive, there isn't even the smallest hope in her mind anymore of that possibility, she only wants peace for him that his body can be put to rest. Amber wonders if he has a mother out there looking for him, wanting to be with him? She can only imagine how devastating it must be to lose a child, especially under such cruel and unusual circumstances.
The other possibility makes her stomach churn, maybe his mother is dead as well. Amber doesn't like the potential implications of what she is reading. The sheer possibility the words on the pages are playing out in real life is terrifying. These are ugly things happening to innocent people.... Why is that such a surprise to her? Suddenly she sees with a deeper understanding that it has always been this way, human nature is flawed. The innocent suffer all the time; the woman still loving her husband despite his brutal beatings, the child hoping if only he can be perfect maybe his parents will stop hurting him, the babies thrown in dumpsters because their mothers don't want them...it is everywhere, murder, abuse, rape, corruption, greed, evil, people are evil... and they always have been.
Amber wants to tell James the vision was hers, confide in him resting the burden of all this strangeness on his strong shoulders to carry for a while. She fears he doesn't want or need this kind of burden, he won't understand. He seems like the perfect man, contemplative and brooding with a quick wit and sharp sense of humor, but above all she admires his sensitive and gentle nature. He’s much like her, the perfect combination of hard edges and soft mushy insides. Once you get through all the quills protecting their hearts, they are both hopelessly gentle. Their strong exteriors serve them well and amidst all this chaos she has no intention of letting them dull.
Returning her focus to the pages in front of her, Amber is intrigued by an elaborate family tree. Her attention focused on her own names, the old and the new. How could they have known? Rissa and Dawn are a part of this record as well, there are many missing names and branches the lead off to nowhere. It seems this record is terribly incomplete. Amber is the only place where all three major lines connect, and the record stops with her, below her name are characters she doesn't recognize. Another mystery, she doesn't even know what language the pictographs are written in. This is a question she feels might best be asked of the higher level members of the order. If she is to trust her Grandmother and Rissa, then she must have at least some faith in them, despite her feelings of foreboding. At least their goals seem to be in the best interest of her survival and sanity. The circle was founded centuries ago by members of both blood lines, some of the third had also found their way into the organization. They claim their purpose for being is solely to discover a way to escape the masters they perceive to be evil. They have done extensive research, and have long been hiding within the underground, waiting for a fight they know will inevitably come. They feel the children will have to rebel against their fathers to reclaim humanity.
Amber is the first child born having the blood of all three lineages running through her veins. She is the Chosen One, the daughter of prophesy. Born to a family of rebellious women willing to sacrifice themselves for their children no matter what the cost. Her grandmother bearing the mark of the Father. The mark put there to keep her bound to him, and yet she finds herself falling in love with the Son in his human form. Despite his knowledge of the consequences they become lovers, together creating a child born of love, a forbidden child. Neither realizing the impact of their actions on future generations. The Son, Michael as he was called then, fearful of his rebellion determines to protect the woman he loves covering her existence as his daughter grows to womanhood. It is not until their daughter has a husband of her own that the secret is discovered by the Father. He destroys their daughter reclaiming possession of Aria, never knowing there is another child. Aria protecting her secret to her very last breathe. Never revealing the existence of the granddaughter born of a mixed blood mother and a father descended from the third line. The child that will change the rules.
Every sign points to Amber...but she doesn't want to be special, even if it means she will do great things. Amber wants to be normal, inconspicuous and safe. Nothing is more appealing to her than a quiet life beside the man she loves, her dog, a picket fence, and maybe even a child someday. Why does she have to be the special one, the chosen one? Isn't that what they always tell you before they turn your world upside down and take everything that matters away from you?
Rissa and Dawn are well documented, each a direct descendant within their bloodlines. Dawn is a daughter of the Sun and Rissa that of the Moon, each taken by the Circle, hiding f
rom their fathers for their protection. The markings on their shoulders removed as Amber's have been. They have been given scars in purification, making them imperfect and impure, they are no longer recognizable by their makers. They have only been coached a little in the ways of their gifts and have developed what most of the skills they have on their own. The work barely begun when Aria died and no other has decided to step in to help the girls train.
Understanding now the initiation of her spectacular bond with Rissa was a set up, Amber feels frustration but not anger. Everything makes more sense now, though the girls probably would have become fast friends anyway. Amber believes they were brought together by powers stronger than social necessity. They were born of the same strange families. In some small way the girls are sisters of sorts, well...some kind of cousins at least. They share more than friendship, they share a journey. Each having a crucial part to play in this great game of destinies. She can't accept the possibility she is only a pawn; Amber prefers believing she can still choose her own path, adding an element of surprise to this great scheme.
Awakening - Book of Fire (Blood Heritage) Page 15
