James feels the sting of the loss, though the woman was kind of crazy, she also loved her daughter. Feeling the combined weight of all three lives so brutally touched by this tragedy, James becomes even more driven discover the truth. One tragedy so easily growing larger, the pain of one missing girl growing into a flame consuming both of her parents lives as well. Now there is no one left for her to return home to, when or if he ever finds her. Somehow he feels as sure as her parents were that she is lost to them. His hope of finding anyone associated with this case alive is dwindling rapidly. He needs to spend some time away from all this ugliness, find something to believe in again.
The child is a nail in his coffin so to speak, receiving the news so closely on top of the other tragedy, he feels his confidence shattering, needing to spend some quiet time away, he needs to think and gather her thoughts. There is so much going on, and his head is swimming. He has only three more sets of parents to talk with and fears these contacts will get him no further. Closing his front door and all of the blinds, James sits down in the dark. His mind reeling, he doesn't even see sleep coming before she blindsides him, overtaking him and sending him into the darkest and deepest dreamlessness he has ever known.
Utter exhaustion has a way of coming out of the blue, James doesn't recover his footing until the following afternoon. Deciding to stay away from the office and choosing instead to accomplish some necessary activities, he takes a good look at his surroundings. His home deserves a good cleaning and a bit of redecorating. James decides to take down the photos of girls and beer signs that have survived this long as his pathetic decorations.
Taking the outdated Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle sheets off his bed he has to laugh at himself for not getting rid of them earlier. The rest of his linens are not much better. Monkeys with bananas, that's classy, and hot chicks on motorcycles... He might have to do more shopping than originally planned. He journeys out buying grown-up sheets, towels, bath mats and some great accessories for his walls which he thinks make him look sophisticated instead of like a drunken frat boy.
James buys groceries too, hoping maybe Amber will come visit soon. He thinks she's more likely to be impressed with fresh food than a single jar of pickles, butter and beer. No more pizza boxes on the counter for him. This is much closer to the version of him, his personality and job imply. James is no longer ashamed of his home or scared to have her visit, in fact; he is getting excited to share his space with her. Then James makes the mistake of walking into his bathroom to put his new towels away. Looking around he is surprised at the disgusting place this room has become, shocked by his own neglectful ways. Not having paid any attention to cleanliness in a long while, he feels the embarrassment return. This requires his attention before heading out to see Amber tonight. She’s not expecting him yet, there is plenty of time. He’ll just head over when he's done and see if she’s in.
It’s around six when James knocks on her door, she’s ready for him. Amber has already prepared some marinated chicken and shrimp kabobs. Taking them out when he arrives to get them ready for the grill, her mood brightens. She’s still working her way through the special volume, and happily takes a break from all the evilness within its pages. It seems every word of it is scary, negative and the very stuff nightmares are made of. It’s no wonder no one is taught about any of it until they get mature enough to handle it, but is anyone ever really ready to handle this kind of information? Amber wonders.
Allie threatens to take the toes off the intruder daring to knock on the door. James, surprised at the unexpected noise takes a step back from the doorway. The tiny little thing behind the snarling and barking, takes him completely by surprise. She's just a beautiful little thing, couldn't hurt a fly, James thinks, loving her instantly. She takes a bit longer to warm up to him, but is appeased Amber is okay with his presence. She concedes he must be a friend, giving him a thorough tongue bath after an initial few minutes of huffing and puffing.
Sitting down together on the couch they catch up on general chit-chat. Amber wanting to ask about the child, holding back because he’s not in work mode right now. James leaning over resting his head on her shoulder sighing deeply as he lets go. He kisses her, running his fingers through her hair. She feels his need for reassurance holding him close, they enjoy the silence. This is no time for sexual advances, this is time for rest and recuperation. This is when the mind finally concedes, letting go of its burdens and life is what it is for a while.
There is no need for reason or rhyme, only food and drink, no necessity to understand cause and effect, only warmth and companionship. No need for answers or questions, only focusing on the moment and its clarity. There is nothing out there in the darkness waiting to destroy them, no body lying cold and forgotten somewhere out there in the swamp. Together in this moment there is only peace, comfort and normalcy. These moments never last long enough, but right now they are both happy.
The rumbling of her stomach finally breaks the perfection of the silence. Laughing at her, James admits he is hungry as well. Assigning him the task of getting the grill going, she makes a salad with spinach, almonds, and mandarin oranges in an orange honey glaze. This is a wonderful bed for the skewers of shrimp and chicken. Light and delicious, their dinner pairs nicely with a glass or two of wine. He’s off the clock tonight and has informed the team not to call him in for anything. James is intent on having a couple of drinks and getting a great nights sleep with his lady.
James hasn't yet decided how much sleep they will really be getting. He feels so refreshed and happy to be here, helping her make dinner, watching her with her new little friend. He lets her know she can come to his house now, promising he will be the one making her dinner next time. Laughing at him she asks how much he changed before deciding she can see his place. He looks innocent, smiling broadly, insisting he only cleaned up a little bit.
The two settle in for a quiet meal watching the sunset and the night turning into darkness. The stars come out in force and the evening breeze is gentle and kind to their wounded psyches. Returning to the kitchen to clean up, they decide enjoying their sorbet on the couch and taking in a movie before heading to bed is a nice way to feel normal. As they sit down, James notices the box and recognizes the symbol carved into the wood. He has seen both Amber and her grandmother wearing it. The book inside looks old, but it is spectacular. He touches the cover and she feels goose bumps on her arms; is she supposed to let anyone else see it? Is it supposed to be secret? Somehow she knows showing him will be against some kind of rule, but whoever sent it should know she’s not one for following rules.
Looking at Amber for permission, he reaches to remove the book from it's resting place, pausing unsure if he should. Amber senses his apprehension growing so she removes the book gently, handing it to him with a nervous smile. Anxiously he begins turning the pages slowly, not really reading as much as taking in the beauty of the scrolling handwriting on the heavy pages. He’s impressed with the beautifully detailed filigrees that have painstakingly been drawn on many of the pages making this book an absolute work of art. "This book is very old, he says under his breathe, where did it come from"
"I really don't know, it came by courier and there was no information on the packaging revealing who sent it. It is amazing though, so beautiful, and the pages smell of something comfortable and familiar. I can practically hear the voices of the past when I read through the pages." Amber responds quietly, her voice thick with admiration.
He has stopped flipping and stares down at the page. The very same page which impacted Amber so hard, telling of sacrifices and sons. Reading it over and over, with a look of absolute shock and something else she cannot quite decipher, James seems confused and scared, but there is also an element of some sense of relief or understanding. Amber is concerned watching him as the emotions battle behind his eyes. He’s so focused and intent reading it over and over. Breaking the silence, Amber asks, "Do you know what that means? It makes me think of the little boy from th
e vision, the one you were looking for. You did find him didn't you?"
James looks up at her, not quite focused on the here and now yet. "How did you know we found him?" he asks, his mind spinning over the emotional overload he is experiencing.
I haven't had another vision… She realizes immediately her mistake, allowing the words to trail off into a tense and uncomfortable silence.
"You mean Rissa hasn't told you about another vision?"... He struggles with the implications of this revelation and sits quietly processing this information. His eyes downcast, knowing everything is about to change.
"No, I didn't want to tell you...was afraid to tell you...The vision was mine. I have had them all my life, they have gotten more clear lately, but they still don't seem to help anyone. I knew he was dead when I saw it, and I knew you found him because I didn't see it again." Terrified, the words rush from her mouth, desperately hoping he won't reject her now that he knows the truth.
James cannot process anything, there is too much emotional static in the way. All logical abilities his mind possesses have decided it's time for a vacation. Returning his blank gaze to the pages in front of him, he continues reading it over and over again. Perhaps if he memorizes it, things will sort themselves out, everything will make sense and the world will be right again. James knows deep down, the world will never be right again, if this is his answer. His girls, their children, a part of a much bigger and much farther-reaching pattern of events that are inconceivable, unreal and simply not possible in the world as he knows it. He can't rationalize what is happening, can't make the ends tie up neatly into a little bow. He doesn't like these supernatural complications and the long list of still unanswered questions. Not a religious person, barely having any faith to speak of, and even less knowledge of the supernatural James is in a state of shock. He has always know Rissa uses some kind of gift, but he’s never thought too seriously about what it is, where it comes from, or how it is she knows the things she knows. He has always assumed it is simply a higher level of awareness or sensitivity to the signals people put out. Now the woman he loves is somehow tangled up in this mess as well and he doesn't like it at all.
He hasn't come here looking for answers and he certainly isn't interested in having more questions. This is not what he needs tonight. James wants to kiss and cuddle and have a nice meal away from the hectic chaos and stress of all this mess. Now it is following him into his sanctuary and he doesn't have any safe places left.
James stares into Amber’s eyes for a few moments, trying to determine how much he should share with her, as she’s working out the same problem in her own mind. The two decide trust is the best move and both take the chance the other will be able to handle the journey. Telling her he thinks he understands some of what he’s reading, James decides to reveal everything, explaining how the girls were found, how some are still missing. He speculates the three are mothers of sons, and there are likely two more baby boys out there somewhere. The part he doesn't understand is the other girls. They have been spared, their daughters saving their lives, according to the book. So where are they now?
How is James supposed to reconcile their disappearances with the deaths, and how does this book fit into everything? He is out of his league and the more he learns the more it seems he has no clue what's happening. Sometimes he feels right there on the precipice of understanding, but it’s too far out of his grasp. He wonders if he only knows what someone or something out there wants him to know and worries about what he’s being led into. He doesn't see any resolution in the near future, and expects things will only get more and more strange the deeper he digs. James has never backed down in the face of difficulties and he doesn't have any intention of starting now, his confusion slowly transforming into resolve.
Amber and James realize they are part of the same strange puzzle, there is some comfort in the idea they can work toward its finish together. There will be no more secrets, no more suffering alone through the unbelievable. Together taking the possibilities and impossibilities, picking at them one by one until they somehow find at least some of the answers and stop the cycle from repeating again. At least this much James believes they can accomplish. They may never know or understand the entire picture, but they will find what is necessary. He may be too late for these girls, but if the pages say what he thinks they say, there will be more of this to come. He can't stand by and let innocent women go through something this horrible. James gives Amber a tight hug and determines, he will take on the devil himself if he has to, to keep this kind of ugliness from ever surfacing in his town again. The very idea that his precious Amber may still be in danger pushes his determination to an even higher intensity.
Discussing the details of the case, and the strangeness of it all with her makes it a little more bearable. None of these clues fit into his normal reporting procedures and he isn't ready to make his co-workers think he's crazy, so some of the details remain part of their own secret investigation outside of official channels. James is crashing into the twilight zone at full force and has no choice other than taking every day as it comes. Not much surprises him now. Hanging with psychics, witches and self-proclaimed wizards the potential of ghosts and aliens hiding in the mist seems perfectly reasonable. What is the world coming too? James wonders, realizing he doesn't really want to know the answer.
Dawn Awakes
Dawn is helplessly attracted to the outdoors, she has been all her life. Finding it difficult lately to go home, she spends long afternoons wandering the forests and swamps, listening to all the wonderful sounds around her, smelling the wet and nurturing earth. She feels at home in the middle of a swamp where others prefer staying away at all costs. Her senses acutely attuned to the intentions in the animals around her. Feeling a gator from over a mile away she has no fear of being attacked. The world seems just as aware of her as she is of it. The world is tempting her, telling her to let go, give up her humanity. Releasing her inhibitions she could easily stay out there, becoming a deeper part of it, breathing it all in, becoming one with nature again as humanity once was.
She doesn't want to go home tonight, staring at the beautiful starlit sky with the moon reflecting on the water is entrancing her. Watching the ripples shifting and the images melting into ethereal and mesmerizing patterns she feels perfectly at peace. The bright shimmering is enough to light her way, easily revealing her path. She is convinced this is her gift in this life, her deep connection with the natural world. The shoreline is alive with frogs, snakes and bugs each overwhelmingly vibrant to her senses. Revealing their warmth, energy, and essence into the night air, they practically glow. Nothing is hidden from her. She takes off her sandals, leaving them haphazardly discarded on the shoreline. Accepting her fate, embracing the sacred blood the fills her veins, Dawn succumbs to her instincts, her desires, her destiny.....
Walking deeper into the darkness, alone and barefoot, allowing her senses to lead her to the tiny meadow in the middle of the muck and grime. The trees welcoming her with their spicy, dusky fragrance. The light overhead filling her with desire to dance and run free, escaping the rules and expectations of the world. Dawn releases herself from all of it becoming a part of this spectacular universe of life. She does not deny the dark side of nature, embracing the death as well. Smelling the blood, the tiny body beneath her feet, feeling the dankness of decay, appreciating the nourishment it provides. With absolute clarity she speaks the words; "for one to live another must die." Knowing the order of things, understanding fully her place in that order, Dawn embraces the burning inside her.
The need within her growing in intensity, struggling to break free from the moment of Amber's bloodletting, pushing against her logical mind. The energy flowing through her, revealing truths she knows but denies. She is an outcast, an orphan, not belonging fully in either world. Is she a beast wandering through the darkness, the stuff of nightmares; or is she a thing of great beauty? She isn't quite sure. The wild expression of her style, her colors, pier
cings and tattoos only an attempt to quell the wildness within. She is woman and wolf, united and inseparable. Shedding the clothing from her body, standing naked in the breeze, the goose bumps on her skin wake her nerves to the tingling sensation growing within her. Running through the darkness she allows her mind to capture the possibilities.
Her eyes, as green as emeralds opening wide, for the first time seeing everything. Her mind focusing on every sound without trying. She is unquenchable, allowing her instincts to overcome her fears, she embraces the inevitable. Dawn senses a great sacrifice is needed, her thoughts drifting back to the bloodletting, this time she knows it will be flowing freely tonight. For a moment she feels sadness overtaking her, but it is quickly replaced with excitement.
Allowing her instincts to lead, Dawn strengthens her resolve; still her humanity rebells for fear cannot be quieted so easily. This is suicide, what makes you so sure this will give you what you want? You’re fucking crazy! Stop this right now! I don't want to die.... I DON'T WANT TO DIE....... and so on, she struggles arguing with the voices inside her head; eventually shutting them up with the edge of her blade. Choosing to commit fully to whatever comes, she slashes open the flesh of her arm. As she watches the blood pouring from the wound she begins to tremble. Tremendous pain washing over her and slowly fading; a sense of calm numbness wrapping cool fingers around her heart. Dawn finds it hard to focus, breathing slowly she allows her mind to merge with the wonders of this place. Dizziness overtakes her and she slumps forward on the still warm grass. The bloodletting leading her into a dream like world where finally she understands. Darkness consumes her leaving nothing but the quiet whisper of the wind.
Awakening - Book of Fire (Blood Heritage) Page 16
