The Arden Shakespeare Complete Works
Page 411
BENEDICK Pray thee, sweet Mistress Margaret, deserve
well at my hands, by helping me to the speech of
Beatrice.
MARGARET Will you then write me a sonnet in praise of
my beauty?
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BENEDICK In so high a style, Margaret, that no man
living shall come over it, for in most comely truth thou
deservest it.
MARGARET To have no man come over me? Why, shall I
always keep below stairs?
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BENEDICK Thy wit is as quick as the greyhound’s
mouth, it catches.
MARGARET And yours as blunt as the fencer’s foils,
which hit, but hurt not.
BENEDICK A most manly wit, Margaret, it will not hurt
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a woman. And so I pray thee call Beatrice; I give thee
the bucklers.
MARGARET Give us the swords, we have bucklers of our own.
BENEDICK If you use them, Margaret, you must put in
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the pikes with a vice, and they are dangerous weapons for maids.
MARGARET Well, I will call Beatrice to you, who I think
hath legs. Exit.
BENEDICK And therefore will come.
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[Sings.] The god of love,
That sits above,
And knows me, and knows me,
How pitiful I deserve –
I mean in singing; but in loving, Leander the good
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swimmer, Troilus the first employer of pandars, and a
whole bookful of these quondam carpet-mongers,
whose names yet run smoothly in the even road of a
blank verse, why, they were never so truly turned
over and over as my poor self in love. Marry, I
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cannot show it in rhyme; I have tried. I can find out no
rhyme to ‘lady’ but ‘baby’ – an innocent rhyme; for
‘scorn’, ‘horn’ – a hard rhyme; for ‘school’, ‘fool’ – a
babbling rhyme; very ominous endings! No, I was not
born under a rhyming planet, nor I cannot woo in
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festival terms.
Enter BEATRICE
Sweet Beatrice, wouldst thou come when I called thee?
BEATRICE Yea, signior, and depart when you bid me.
BENEDICK O, stay but till then!
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BEATRICE ‘Then’ is spoken; fare you well now. And yet
ere I go, let me go with that I came, which is, with
knowing what hath passed between you and Claudio.
BENEDICK Only foul words – and thereupon I will kiss
thee.
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BEATRICE Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is
but foul breath, and foul breath is noisome; therefore
I will depart unkissed.
BENEDICK Thou hast frighted the word out of his right
sense, so forcible is thy wit. But I must tell thee plainly,
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CLAUDIO undergoes my challenge, and either I must
shortly hear from him, or I will subscribe him a
coward. And I pray thee now tell me, for which of
my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me?
BEATRICE For them all together, which maintained so
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politic a state of evil that they will not admit any good
part to intermingle with them. But for which of my
good parts did you first suffer love for me?
BENEDICK ‘Suffer love’ – a good epithet! I do suffer love
indeed, for I love thee against my will.
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BEATRICE In spite of your heart, I think. Alas, poor
heart! If you spite it for my sake, I will spite it for
yours, for I will never love that which my friend hates.
BENEDICK Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably.
BEATRICE It appears not in this confession; there’s not
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one wise man among twenty that will praise himself.
BENEDICK An old, an old instance, Beatrice, that lived in
the time of good neighbours. If a man do not erect in
this age his own tomb ere he dies, he shall live no longer
in monument than the bell rings, and the widow weeps.
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BEATRICE And how long is that, think you?
BENEDICK Question: why, an hour in clamour and a
quarter in rheum. Therefore is it most expedient for
the wise, if Don Worm, his conscience, find no
impediment to the contrary, to be the trumpet of his
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own virtues, as I am to myself. So much for praising
myself, who I myself will bear witness is praiseworthy.
And now tell me, how doth your cousin?
BEATRICE Very ill.
BENEDICK And how do you?
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BEATRICE Very ill too.
BENEDICK Serve God, love me, and mend. There will I
leave you too, for here comes one in haste.
Enter URSULA.
URSULA Madam, you must come to your uncle –
yonder’s old coil at home. It is proved my Lady Hero
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hath been falsely accused, the Prince and Claudio
mightily abused, and Don John is the author of all,
who is fled and gone. Will you come presently?
BEATRICE Will you go hear this news, signior?
BENEDICK I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be
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buried in thy eyes; and moreover, I will go with thee to
thy uncle’s. Exeunt.
5.3 Enter CLAUDIO, DON PEDRO and three or four with tapers, followed by BALTHASAR and musicians.
CLAUDIO Is this the monument of Leonato?
LORD It is, my lord.
Epitaph.
CLAUDIO [reading from a scroll]
‘Done to death by slanderous tongues
Was the Hero that here lies:
Death, in guerdon of her wrongs,
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Gives her fame which never dies:
So the life that died with shame
Lives in death with glorious fame.’
[Hangs up the scroll.]
Hang thou there upon the tomb,
Praising her when I am dumb.
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Now, music, sound, and sing your solemn hymn.
Song.
BALTHASAR
Pardon, goddess of the night,
Those that slew thy virgin knight;
For the which, with songs of woe,
Round about her tomb they go.
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Midnight, assist our moan,
Help us to sigh and groan,
Heavily, heavily:
Graves, yawn and yield your dead,
Till death be uttered,
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Heavily, heavily.
CLAUDIO Now unto thy bones good night!
Yearly will I do this rite.
DON PEDRO
Good morrow, masters; put your torches out.
The wolves have prey’d, and look, the gentle day,
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Before the wheels of Phoebus, round about
Dapples the drowsy east with spots of grey.
Thanks to you all, and leave us. Fare you well.
CLAUDIO
Good morrow, masters – each his several way.
DON PEDRO
Come let us hence, and put on other weeds,
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And then to Leonato’s we will go.
CLAUDIO And Hymen now with luckier issue speed’s
Than this for whom we render’d up this woe!
Exeunt.
5.4 Enter LEONATO, BENEDICK, BEATRICE, MARGARET,
URSULA, ANTO
NIO, FRIAR FRANCIS and HERO.
FRIAR Did I not tell you she was innocent?
LEONATO
So are the Prince and Claudio, who accus’d her
Upon the error that you heard debated.
But Margaret was in some fault for this,
Although against her will, as it appears
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In the true course of all the question.
ANTONIO Well, I am glad that all things sort so well.
BENEDICK And so am I, being else by faith enforc’d
To call young Claudio to a reckoning for it.
LEONATO Well, daughter, and you gentlewomen all,
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Withdraw into a chamber by yourselves,
And when I send for you, come hither mask’d.
Exeunt Ladies.
The Prince and Claudio promis’d by this hour
To visit me. You know your office, brother:
You must be father to your brother’s daughter,
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And give her to young Claudio.
ANTONIO
Which I will do with confirm’d countenance.
BENEDICK Friar, I must entreat your pains, I think.
FRIAR To do what, signior?
BENEDICK To bind me, or undo me – one of them.
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Signior Leonato, truth it is, good signior,
Your niece regards me with an eye of favour.
LEONATO
That eye my daughter lent her, ’tis most true.
BENEDICK And I do with an eye of love requite her.
LEONATO The sight whereof I think you had from me,
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From Claudio and the Prince. But what’s your will?
BENEDICK Your answer, sir, is enigmatical:
But for my will, my will is, your good will
May stand with ours, this day to be conjoin’d
In the state of honourable marriage;
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In which, good friar, I shall desire your help.
LEONATO My heart is with your liking.
FRIAR And my help.
Here comes the Prince and Claudio.
Enter DON PEDRO and CLAUDIO, and two or three others.
DON PEDRO Good morrow to this fair assembly.
LEONATO
Good morrow, Prince; good morrow, Claudio;
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We here attend you. Are you yet determin’d
Today to marry with my brother’s daughter?
CLAUDIO I’ll hold my mind were she an Ethiope.
LEONATO
Call her forth, brother; here’s the friar ready.
Exit Antonio.
DON PEDRO
Good morrow, Benedick. Why, what’s the matter,
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That you have such a February face,
So full of frost, of storm, and cloudiness?
CLAUDIO I think he thinks upon the savage bull.
Tush, fear not, man, we’ll tip thy horns with gold,
And all Europa shall rejoice at thee,
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As once Europa did at lusty Jove,
When he would play the noble beast in love.
BENEDICK Bull Jove, sir, had an amiable low,
And some such strange bull leap’d your father’s cow,
And got a calf in that same noble feat
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Much like to you, for you have just his bleat.
Enter ANTONIO, HERO, BEATRICE, MARGARET and URSULA, the ladies masked.
CLAUDIO
For this I owe you: here comes other reck’nings.
Which is the lady I must seize upon?
ANTONIO This same is she, and I do give you her.
CLAUDIO
Why then she’s mine. Sweet, let me see your face.
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LEONATO No, that you shall not till you take her hand,
Before this friar, and swear to marry her.
CLAUDIO Give me your hand before this holy friar.
I am your husband if you like of me.
HERO [unmasking]
And when I liv’d, I was your other wife;
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And when you lov’d, you were my other husband.
CLAUDIO Another Hero!
HERO Nothing certainer:
One Hero died defil’d, but I do live,
And surely as I live, I am a maid.
DON PEDRO The former Hero! Hero that is dead!
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LEONATO
She died, my lord, but whiles her slander liv’d.
FRIAR All this amazement can I qualify,
When after that the holy rites are ended
I’ll tell you largely of fair Hero’s death.
Meantime let wonder seem familiar,
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And to the chapel let us presently.
BENEDICK Soft and fair, friar. Which is Beatrice?