The Arden Shakespeare Complete Works
Page 447
now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature.
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For this drivelling love is like a great natural that runs
lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
BENVOLIO Stop there, stop there.
MERCUTIO Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against
the hair.
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BENVOLIO Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
MERCUTIO O, thou art deceived; I would have made it
short; for I was come to the whole depth of my tale
and meant indeed to occupy the argument no longer.
ROMEO Here’s goodly gear.
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Enter Nurse and her man PETER.
A sail! A sail!
MERCUTIO Two. Two. A shirt and a smock.
NURSE Peter.
PETER Anon.
NURSE My fan, Peter.
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MERCUTIO Good Peter, to hide her face, for her fan’s
the fairer face.
NURSE God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
MERCUTIO God ye good e’en, fair gentlewoman.
NURSE Is it good e’en?
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MERCUTIO ’Tis no less, I tell ye; for the bawdy hand of
the dial is now upon the prick of noon.
NURSE Out upon you. What a man are you?
ROMEO One, gentlewoman, that God hath made,
himself to mar.
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NURSE By my troth it is well said; ‘for himself to mar’
quoth a? Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I
may find the young Romeo?
ROMEO I can tell you; but young Romeo will be older
when you have found him than he was when you
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sought him. I am the youngest of that name, for fault
of a worse.
NURSE You say well.
MERCUTIO Yea, is the worst well? Very well took i’faith.
Wisely, wisely.
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NURSE If you be he sir, I desire some confidence with
you.
BENVOLIO She will endite him to some supper.
MERCUTIO A bawd! A bawd! A bawd! So ho.
ROMEO What hast thou found?
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MERCUTIO No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a lenten
pie, that is something stale and hoar ere it be spent.
[He walks by them and sings.]
An old hare hoar,
And an old hare hoar,
Is very good meat in Lent.
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But a hare that is hoar
Is too much for a score
When it hoars ere it be spent.
Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll to
dinner thither.
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ROMEO I will follow you.
MERCUTIO Farewell, ancient lady, farewell, lady, lady,
lady. Exeunt Mercutio and Benvolio.
NURSE I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this,
that was so full of his ropery?
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ROMEO A gentleman, Nurse, that loves to hear himself
talk, and will speak more in a minute than he will
stand to in a month.
NURSE And a speak anything against me I’ll take him
down, and a were lustier than he is, and twenty such
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jacks. And if I cannot, I’ll find those that shall. Scurvy
knave! I am none of his flirt-gills, I am none of his
skains-mates. [She turns to Peter her man.] And thou
must stand by too and suffer every knave to use me at
his pleasure!
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PETER I saw no man use you at his pleasure; if I had, my
weapon should quickly have been out. I warrant you,
I dare draw as soon as another man, if I see occasion in
a good quarrel, and the law on my side.
NURSE Now afore God I am so vexed that every part
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about me quivers. Scurvy knave. Pray you, sir, a word
– and as I told you, my young lady bid me enquire you
out. What she bid me say, I will keep to myself. But
first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her in a fool’s
paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of
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behaviour, as they say; for the gentlewoman is young.
And therefore, if you should deal double with her,
truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any
gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
ROMEO Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress. I
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protest unto thee –
NURSE Good heart, and i’faith I will tell her as much.
Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
ROMEO What wilt thou tell her, Nurse? Thou dost not
mark me.
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NURSE I will tell her, sir, that you do protest – which, as
I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
ROMEO Bid her devise
Some means to come to shrift this afternoon,
And there she shall at Friar Laurence’ cell
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Be shriv’d and married. Here is for thy pains.
NURSE No truly, sir; not a penny.
ROMEO Go to, I say you shall.
NURSE This afternoon, sir? Well, she shall be there.
ROMEO And stay, good Nurse, behind the abbey wall.
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Within this hour my man shall be with thee,
And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair,
Which to the high topgallant of my joy
Must be my convoy in the secret night.
Farewell, be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains;
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Farewell. Commend me to thy mistress.
NURSE Now God in heaven bless thee. Hark you, sir.
ROMEO What say’st thou, my dear Nurse?
NURSE Is your man secret? Did you ne’er hear say,
Two may keep counsel, putting one away?
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ROMEO I warrant thee my man’s as true as steel.
NURSE Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady. Lord,
Lord! When ’twas a little prating thing – O, there is a
nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife
aboard; but she, good soul, had as lief see a toad, a very
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toad, as see him. I anger her sometimes and tell her
that Paris is the properer man, but I’ll warrant you,
when I say so she looks as pale as any clout in the
versal world. Doth not rosemary and Romeo begin
both with a letter?
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ROMEO Ay, Nurse, what of that? Both with an ‘R’.
NURSE Ah, mocker! That’s the dog’s name, ‘R’ is for the
– No, I know it begins with some other letter; and she
hath the prettiest sententious of it, of you and
rosemary, that it would do you good to hear it.
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ROMEO Commend me to thy lady. Exit Romeo.
NURSE Ay, a thousand times. Peter!
PETER Anon.
NURSE Before, and apace. Exeunt.
2.5 Enter JULIET.
JULIET
The clock struck nine when I did send the Nurse,
In half an hour she promis’d to return.
Perchance she cannot meet him. That’s not so.
O, she is lame. Love’s heralds should be thoughts
Which ten times faster glides than the sun’s beams
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Driving back shadows over lowering hills.
Therefore do nimble-pinion’d doves draw Love,
And therefore hath the wind-swift Cupid wings.
Now is the sun upon the highmost hill
Of this day’s jou
rney, and from nine till twelve
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Is three long hours, yet she is not come.
Had she affections and warm youthful blood
She would be as swift in motion as a ball:
My words would bandy her to my sweet love,
And his to me.
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But old folks, many feign as they were dead –
Unwieldy, slow, heavy, and pale as lead.
Enter Nurse and PETER.
O God she comes. O honey Nurse, what news?
Hast thou met with him? Send thy man away.
NURSE
Peter, stay at the gate. Exit Peter.
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JULIET
Now good sweet Nurse – O Lord why look’st thou sad?
Though news be sad, yet tell them merrily,
If good, thou sham’st the music of sweet news
By playing it to me with so sour a face.
NURSE I am aweary, give me leave awhile.
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Fie, how my bones ache. What a jaunce have I!
JULIET I would thou hadst my bones and I thy news.
Nay come, I pray thee, speak: good, good Nurse, speak.
NURSE Jesu, what haste. Can you not stay awhile?
Do you not see that I am out of breath?
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JULIET
How art thou out of breath when thou hast breath
To say to me that thou art out of breath?
The excuse that thou dost make in this delay
Is longer than the tale thou dost excuse.
Is thy news good or bad? Answer to that,
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Say either, and I’ll stay the circumstance.
Let me be satisfied: is’t good or bad?
NURSE Well, you have made a simple choice. You know
not how to choose a man. Romeo? No, not he. Though
his face be better than any man’s, yet his leg excels all
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men’s, and for a hand and a foot and a body, though
they be not to be talked on, yet they are past compare.
He is not the flower of courtesy, but I’ll warrant him
as gentle as a lamb. Go thy ways, wench, serve God.
What, have you dined at home?
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JULIET No, no. But all this did I know before.
What says he of our marriage? What of that?
NURSE Lord, how my head aches! What a head have I:
It beats as it would fall in twenty pieces.
My back o’ t’other side – ah, my back, my back!
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Beshrew your heart for sending me about
To catch my death with jauncing up and down.
JULIET I’faith I am sorry that thou art not well.
Sweet, sweet, sweet Nurse, tell me, what says my love?
NURSE Your love says like an honest gentleman,
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And a courteous, and a kind, and a handsome,
And I warrant a virtuous – Where is your mother?
JULIET Where is my mother? Why, she is within.
Where should she be? How oddly thou repliest.
‘Your love says, like an honest gentleman,
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“Where is your mother?”‘
O God’s lady dear,
Are you so hot? Marry, come up, I trow.
Is this the poultice for my aching bones?
Henceforward do your messages yourself.
JULIET Here’s such a coil. Come, what says Romeo?
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NURSE Have you got leave to go to shrift today?
JULIET I have.
NURSE Then hie you hence to Friar Laurence’ cell.
There stays a husband to make you a wife.
Now comes the wanton blood up in your cheeks.
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They’ll be in scarlet straight at any news.
Hie you to church. I must another way
To fetch a ladder by the which your love
Must climb a bird’s nest soon when it is dark.
I am the drudge, and toil in your delight,
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But you shall bear the burden soon at night.
Go. I’ll to dinner. Hie you to the cell.
JULIET Hie to high fortune! Honest Nurse, farewell.
Exeunt.
2.6 Enter FRIAR LAURENCE and ROMEO.
FRIAR LAURENCE
So smile the heavens upon this holy act
That after-hours with sorrow chide us not.
ROMEO Amen, amen, but come what sorrow can,
It cannot countervail the exchange of joy
That one short minute gives me in her sight.
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Do thou but close our hands with holy words,
Then love-devouring death do what he dare:
It is enough I may but call her mine.
FRIAR LAURENCE
These violent delights have violent ends