Kiss Me

by Kristine Mason

  Her mind raced. She did have a nest egg set aside for the group home, but knew that money wouldn’t cover all the costs involved. The sale of her house would, though. Although enticing, she would never sell her house and move in with Luke for that reason. If she were to ever make such a huge commitment, it would be based on love, not monetary convenience.

  While she loved Luke, how could she be sure what they shared would last? How could she be sure Luke wasthe one? Her mom had thought her dad was, and he’d dumped them after fifteen years of marriage. Would Luke marry her, raise children with her, then one day up and leave for a newer, younger model?

  Staring into his expressive eyes, seeing the intense love pouring from his soul, gave her confidence. Luke wasn’t anything like her father. Despite his commitment-phobic tendencies before they’d met, he’d proved to her he was in for the long haul. He’d taught her so much about herself. Stripped away her own commitment issues, made her realize that she’d used sex to shield her heart, and that she was truly capable of loving someone.

  “I know this is sudden,” he began, “And I don’t expect you to answer me tonight, but it’s something I’d like you to think about.”

  She ran her hand along the beard stubble lining his jaw, glanced around the empty master bedroom, and immediately pictured them in a big bed. Kissing each other good night, whispering before they slept. As the image swept through her mind, she knew in her heart, in her very soul, Luke wasthe one for her.The only one. No man had ever understood her, had taken the time to know her, love her. She wasn’t a gambler or much of a risk taker. But she was willing to bet her heart on Luke.

  “You’re right,” she said and brushed her lips against his. “It’s sudden, but like you, I can’t picture myself with anyone or anywhere else.”

  Chapter 8

  Luke stepped out of the blistering sun and into the sprawling two story complex that housed St. Michael’s Youth Center. This was the first time he’d ever visited Jenna at work, and so far, he wasn’t crazy about it.

  Located near Clark and West 44, minutes from downtown Cleveland, and a stone’s throw away from a multitude of drug dealers and gang bangers, he’d thought the facility would have more security. Instead, a rusty, dilapidated fence ran along the perimeter of the small compound, and a security guard, with one foot on a banana peel and the other at the edge of a grave, manned the front gate.

  As he pushed through the second set of double doors, he heaved a sigh of relief when they didn’t budge. He didn’t like the idea of some of the local trash having the opportunity to waltz right into the building, especially with Jenna inside. She was a strong woman, mentally and emotionally, but physically she couldn’t weigh more than a hundred and twenty pounds soaking wet. Maybe he should buy her mace, or sign her up for a self-defense course. He’d feel better if she had the ability to protect herself in such a high crime environment.

  He searched the corridor, then pressed the intercom. After stating his reasons for being at St. Michael’s, the lock clicked and buzzed. Another ancient security guard greeted him, along with an enormous man nearly as big, hairy and intimidating as a grizzly bear.

  “I.D.,” the bear grunted.

  While flashing him his driver’s license, Luke searched the foyer for Darci.A teacher at the youth center, she’d promised to put him on the guest list. “I’m here to pick up —”

  “Oh good, you’re right on time,” Darci said as she strolled toward the front desk. “Ben.” She turned to the hairy security guard. “This is Jenna’s boyfriend, Luke Sinclair. I put him on the list earlier.”

  “Why didn’t Jenna do it herself?”

  Darci leaned across the desk. “If you had a romantic bone in your body, you might appreciate this…”

  “But I don’t, so get to the point.”

  “Luke’s surprising Jenna and taking her out for lunch.”

  Big Ben shifted his dark eyes and leveled him with a cold stare. For a second Luke thought the guy might give him a hard time, but then his face contorted into a sloppy smile.“Jenna has a boyfriend? ‘Bout time, hey Hal?” He nudged the decrepit, old man next to him.

  Hal snorted and smacked his lips as if someone had woken him from a nap. “Mmm-hmm, sure, sure. Boyfriend.”

  Ben looked to the ceiling, then to Darci. With a half-smile he said, “Do you want me to escort him to Jenna’s office?”

  Darci shoved off the desk. “Nope, I’ll take him.”

  “Are you sure? You know security is supposed to walk guests through the building.”

  “Geez, Ben. He’s here for a lunch date. I think I can handle it.”

  “Don’t be long,” Ben said to Luke. “If I don’t see you walking out these doors in twenty minutes, I’ll come looking for you.”

  As Darci grabbed his arm, she stuck her tongue out at Ben. The big guy released a gravelly chuckle that echoed throughout the hallway. “He’s a softy,” she said as she weaved them through the building.

  Darci chattered away as they walked and turned so many corners, Luke started to feel as if he needed to leave a trail of bread crumbs to find his way back to the entrance. Finally, she stopped in front of a door with “Student Counselor” inscribed on the frosted glass.

  “This is it,” she said with a sly grin. “You two have fun. Just don’t plan on going parking anywhere around here. You’re liable to get carjacked.”

  He scrubbed a hand down his heated face. “I’m not here for a nooner.”

  “If you say so,” she said with a wink. “I’ve gotta run. I have a lunch date with Diggs.”

  “Diggs?”

  “Yeah, he’s twelve, dyslexic, and reading at a second grader’s level. I tutor him three times a week while we eat lunch. Jenna sees him just as much. He has burn scars over sixty percent of his body and major issues with anger management because of his injury.”

  “How’d that happen?” He didn’t really want to know. The kids at St. Michael’s were either foster kids or one step away from juvenile detention.

  “His mom was high on Lord knows what when Diggs, at the age of four, decided to use her lipstick to color a picture for her. She freaked out, and never mind. Here comes the little rascal right now.”

  A scrawny kid, wearing pants too big for his slight build, a Cleveland Cavalier’s basketball jersey and a baseball hat turned backward, approached them. “Hi, Miss Farraday. Who the hell is this guy?”

  “Diggs, is that anyway to talk?”

  “Sorry. Who the heck is this guy?”

  Darci’s lips twitched into a slight smile. “A friend of Miss Cooper’s, are you ready to have lunch with me?”

  Diggs held up a brown paper bag. “All set. But Miss Cooper’s friend is gonna hafta wait, cuz she’s busy talking with Casey. I just passed them in the hall.”

  “Good enough, let’s get at it,” Darci said, then turned to Luke. “Jenna always eats lunch in her office. I’m sure she’ll be along in a few minutes.”

  “I have no problem waiting.”

  “Okay then, have fun.” She walked away, her arm around Diggs, who cuddled to her side, swinging his lunch bag.

  He didn’t want to know what actually happened to the boy. Burn scars, ugly and raw, peeked from beneath the collar of his shirt. As he stood in the hall, he wondered what other sad stories the kids of St. Michael’s had endured. Then wondered how Jenna coped with being the person who counseled those same kids.

  After a few minutes of waiting, he strolled toward where Diggs had come from, careful not to turn down any hallways to avoid losing all sense of direction. When he reached another turn, he hesitated. Whispered, female voices reverberated off the walls. Inching closer, he ducked into a small alcove when he saw Jenna with a girl who looked as if she was fifteen going on twenty five.

  The girl tossed long brown hair over her shoulder, then crossed her arms over her chest. “I didn’t sign up for this bullshit,Miz Cooper,” she said with a defiance and cockiness that belied the uncertainty and distress in her
eyes. “I wish you’d quit riding my ass and stay out of my business.”

  “Casey, youare my business,” Jenna responded. “It’s my job to look out for your welfare and to council you on what you’ve endured. Honey, I’m not the enemy, and I’m not trying to be your friend, unless, of course, you could use one. I want to help you sort out the crap you’ve been through, help you deal with it and —”

  Casey snorted. “Yeah right, like you know so much,” she said, and gave Jenna a quick once over. “Look at you, with your perfect blonde hair and fancy clothes…I know girls who would bust a cap in your ass, then leave you bleeding on the sidewalk for those shoes you’re wearing.”

  “These things?” Jenna asked and looked at her shoes. “I paid fifteen bucks for them at a consignment store.”

  “No shit?”

  “No shit,Miz Pottymouth, and what do you say we knock off the gangsta talk, it doesn’t suit you.”

  Luke smothered a smile. Jenna played the combined role of good cop/bad cop to a tee, and had the girl squirming.

  “Like, whatever.” Casey dropped her arms and pinned her fists against her hips. “You’ve been watching too many of those stupid, do-good movies where the preppy, fancy chick from the Burbs goes to the inner city to save the po’ gangsta kids. Screw this. You don’t know me.” She moved away, but Jenna grabbed her by the arm. The quick reaction surprised him, and if he’d been sitting down, he’d have been at the edge of his seat.

  She whirled Casey around, then pushed her against the wall. “Do I look like some hippie-do-gooder looking to save the world one kid at a time? Watch the attitude and tell me aboutthis.” She shoved the girl’s t-shirt sleeve over her shoulder to reveal a tattoo. “You didn’t have this last week and until yesterday, you’ve been wearing long sleeves even when it’s been ninety degrees out.” She thumbed the tattoo, one he couldn’t make out from where he stood, then Jenna shook her head.

  “Why did you do it, Casey? Why did you let some low life, gang banger label you as his property?”

  “It’s not like that. Cheetah cares about me.”

  “Cheetah?” Jenna rolled the name off her tongue with heavy sarcasm. “Let me guess, he earned the nickname because he’s quick on his feet when running from the cops.”

  Casey looked away.

  “I’m right? God, girl, what’s wrong with you? You deserve more than the ghetto where your so-calledfriends like Cheetah crawl around like cockroaches after dark.” Stepping back, she raised her hands and said, “I am so sick and tired of watching you destroy your life because you think there’s no way out.”

  “There isn’t,” the girl wailed, and Luke’s gut twisted from the helplessness in her tone. He’d grown up in the suburbs, had a loving family, had been well provided for. He had no idea what this kid had seen, been through, done.

  “Really?” Jenna asked. “Thanks to St. Michael’s you’ve been given a place to stay, an education, a chance to come out on top. But then you go home for a weekend and let some creep brand you? I don’t get it — at all. I thought you were smarter than that…stronger.”

  “You don’t know what it’s like to grow up without a father, to have your mom —”

  “Casey, that’s where you’re wrong. I’ve read your file and you’d be surprised at how much alike we really are.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Honey,” Jenna said softly and rested her hand on Casey’s shoulder. “My dad was around for the first fifteen years of my life, but he really wasn’t. Do you understand what I mean by that?”

  Casey nodded.

  “When he’d finally left, it was just me and my mom. She didn’t take the divorce well and turned to prescription drugs.” She gripped the kid’s shoulders. “I might not have been raised in the ghetto, but after my dad left, my mom moved us into the only trailer park in Westlake so that I could stay in the city’s school district. We had no money, mom was out of her mind most of the time and I…I did what I had to do to get by and make myself feel better.”

  “Yeah, and how’s that?” the girl asked with attitude, but her posture had changed. She no longer slouched, no longer stared at Jenna as if she were the enemy.

  “With sex…just like you.”

  Luke held his breath, the silence in the hall deafening. His stomach coiled as he remembered what Jenna had said last weekend. That she’d used her body to express her feelings. As his mind started to race, to wonder how many other men there had been before him, Casey spoke.

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  Jenna released a deep sigh, then moved the girl’s hair off her shoulder. “You have so many hickeys around your neck it looks as if you’d slept with a bunch of leeches. Although considering the crowd you’re running with at home, I don’t think I’m too far off the mark.”

  Casey pulled her long hair around her neck and looked away. “I told him not to leave marks on me.”

  “When? Before or after you allowed him to brand you with that ugly tattoo?” Jenna shook her head and held the girl at arm’s length. “Anything we discuss is between me and you. Can I trust you on this?”

  Casey nodded. From where he stood, Luke couldn’t be one hundred percent sure, but he swore her big brown eyes filled with unshed tears.

  “Good, now what I’m going to tell you is between us, just one woman to another. I understand what it’s like to be young, confused and utterly alone. After my dad left, I was forced to be the adult in the house, but in retrospect, I wasn’t ready for adult things…like sex.”

  “Miss Cooper, it’s not as bad as it looks.” The girl’s chin trembled as she spoke and tears spilled down her hollow cheeks.

  Jenna wiped the tears away. “That’s good. It also means you’re smarter than I was, more confident, stronger. See, I’d let guys use me, or maybe I’d used them…it doesn’t matter now. All I know is that at the time, when I was your age and dealing with my parents’ divorce, my mom’s depression, and all of the adult responsibilities piling up on me, I needed a release. I needed love. I thought sex would help fulfill that love, but it didn’t. Instead, I’d earned a nasty reputation, was labeled a slut, and in the end felt empty and used. I’m so glad you’re not doing that to yourself, that you’re stronger and smarter than I was at your age.”

  Luke stilled. None of what Jenna said made sense. Just a few weeks ago, as they’d driven through the side streets in an older part of Westlake, she’d pointed to the homey, quaint, brick bungalow where she’d been raised. She’d never once mentioned living in a trailer park, or her parents having been divorced. Jenna had told him her father had died when she was fifteen. He shook his head as he realized Jenna was doing her best to reach out to Casey, even if she had to make up a load of crap. Jenna had been honest and blunt with him, had mentioned that there had been other men. But knowing her the way he did, he’d bet his boat that the story she’d told Casey was an extreme embellishment of the real truth, a way to bond with the young girl.

  Casey hiccupped and fell into Jenna’s arms. Sobbing, she squeezed Jenna tight. “I’m not, Miss Cooper, I’m not. You’re so right, that’s exactly how I feel. Like a slut…an empty, used up, slut.”

  “Shhh,” Jenna soothed the girl, and held her close. “You’re none of those things. You’re bright and beautiful, and have so much ahead of you. This is nothing but a blip on the radar.”

  The girl half-laughed, then pulled back and wiped the tears from her face. “Is that what it was for you?”

  “Absolutely,” Jenna confirmed, and tucked Casey’s hair behind her ears. “No more tears, and no regrets. We’ll work through this…together.”

  “Do you really mean it?”

  “Sure, how else am I going to get a TV movie of the week deal?”

  Casey laughed and hugged Jenna again. “Thank you,” she said, then quickly pulled away. “What about this stupid tattoo?”

  Jenna moved the girl’s arm and looked at the ink stain. “It’s not that big, and won’t cost all that much to
remove it.”

  “Yeah, but I can’t afford —”

  “Consider it an early Christmas present.”

  Casey stared at her. “Really, you’d pay for that? For me?”

  “As long as you stay away from that crowd youused to run with, yes.”

  Smiling and looking more like a teenager, Casey grabbed Jenna’s hands and swung them up and down. “Thank you, Miss Cooper,” she gushed, then kissed Jenna’s cheek. “You’re the best.”

  “All right,” Jenna said with a smile. “Now go grab some lunch before your next class. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  As the two women embraced one last time, Luke snuck down the hall, his heart swelling with pride. Jenna had reached Casey, and it appeared as if she’d set her on the right track.

  He’d always respected Jenna. After witnessing her in action with one of the kids she counseled? Damn, that was something else. She’d managed to show the troubled teen she wasn’t alone in the world, just as she’d done with him.

  If it was even possible, he loved her more than ever…

  *

  Stripping off her clothes, Jenna ran into the bedroom. On most Fridays, she normally left work early, and was home by four thirty. Not today. The Laws of Nature had struck again, first giving her a flat tire, then sticking her in a traffic jam and making her nearly two hours late.

  Whipping open the closet door, she pulled out the dark chocolate halter dress she’d bought on impulse a few months ago, then quickly dressed. Hopped on one leg, then the other, securing a pair of strappy gold heels in place, then dashed into the bathroom to touch up her make-up.

  She eyed the clock in the bathroom. Six twenty. Great, Luke would be by in ten minutes, and while she couldn’t wait to see him, she wished she had more time to primp. Although after yesterday, she didn’t think an hour worth of primping would matter.

  She still couldn’t believe he’d come by the youth center to take her to lunch. He’d said the lunch date had been an impulse, but then had cupped her cheeks and told her the truth. He’d known he wouldn’t be able to be with her later that night due to a dinner meeting, and couldn’t stand to let a day go by where he couldn’t see her face or tell her how much he loved her. He’d obviously had no idea how much she’d needed to hear him say those things. Her confrontation with Casey had left her drained. Although she’d finally broken through to Casey, drudging up her past, admitting her own personal mistakes — out loud — hit a dark chord. The little she’d admitted to Casey, were things no one, except Darci, had known.