by Hood, Holly
The elevator doors open and we quickly slip inside. There is nobody in it, just us.
“I’d be scared to if I was about to push a mini human through my body.”
We make it down to the cafeteria and pay for our food, find a table and take three bites of it before Slade’s phone rings.
“We got to go. Kidd says it’s time.” He drops his food and we abandon it right there in the middle of the cafeteria and run for the elevators.
Our lives are about to change. And this freaks me out.
We hurry out of the elevator and down the long stretch of hallway to Karsen’s room and knock. In an instant the door opens.
But Slade looks uncomfortable.
“Maybe we should wait out here,” he offers from the doorway.
Kidd shakes his head. “Dude. You’re my best friend. I want you here for this.” He looks a mess. His hair is dishevelled and a thin sheen of sweat is on his forehead.
Karsen’s cheeks are pink, and her hair is soft. She looks beautiful. She has a smile on her face instead of that fear I seen earlier and this forces me to relax.
She looks over at us. “Drugs are amazing.” She giggles. “I feel nothing.”
I smile back. “Good.”
“And Slade,” she says. “Kidd and I agreed months ago it was okay if you saw my vagina for the sake of your godson or goddaughter.”
Slade shakes his head. “Oh fucking Christ. Aren’t you supposed to be pushing this kid out right now?”
“The doctor says I am a professional.” She looks at Kidd. “Right, babe?”
Kidd nods in agreement. “That’s right babe. Now let’s do this.”
The nurse tells Karsen on the next contraction to give it her all and push. She holds one foot and Kidd holds the other. He tells her how amazing she is and how gorgeous and he roots for her.
She bares down, her blonde hair falling in her eyes and she grunts. Her face goes from tan to a lovely shade of red and the whole room goes quiet.
“Okay give me one more little push,” her doctor tells her. “One more and you two will be parents.”
“Come on Karsen, you can do it,” I say from the other side of the room. I can’t wait to see this little baby.
Karsen bares down, and the world has changed forever. All of a sudden my friend is more than that. She is a beautiful woman who just brought life into this world.
“Holy shit, sex kitten, you did it!” Kidd kisses her forehead, smoothing her hair. “You fucking did it.”
The doctor suctions the nose and mouth of this slippery mess of a baby and looks up at them. “Well, it’s a boy. Daddy would you like to cut the cord?”
Kidd takes the scissors and does what they ask. “I’m a father. And it’s a boy.” He smiles at him, not at all disturbed at his son’s high pitched screaming.
“Congrats you guys,” Slade says, stepping forward now that the worst is behind us. He plants a friendly kiss on Karsen’s forehead and pats Kidd on the back. “You guys did great.”
“He’s right. He’s beautiful. Even with all that gunk on him,” I tell her jokingly watching the nurses wrap him up so Karsen can hold him.
“Well, what’s his name?” Slade ask.
Kidd bites down on his lip watching the nurse give Karsen the baby.
Everyone goes quiet. Karsen takes him in. He’s got the lightest bit of peach fuzz on his head. I can’t see his eyes because he hasn’t opened them.
“He’s handsome,” I gush. I admire his tiny little nose and his full lips that are shaped just like Karsen’s.
She touches his hand and he wraps his long fingers around her finger. This makes her smile. “He’s perfect.”
Kidd, touches my shoulder, looking along with me at the baby. “Well, we had two names picked out. But I know what one fits.”
Karsen looks at Kidd.
Kidd traces a finger over his tiny little head. “Xavier Garrett.”
“Great name.” Slade throws an arm around me. “Welcome to this crazy life little man.”
Just like that
Karsen and Kidd are parents. And I am a little closer to losing my best friend.
I take a seat in their living room listening to everyone gush over how cute Xavier is. Everyone passes him back and forth taking turns holding him.
I don’t even remember the last real conversation I had with Karsen now that she brought the baby home.
Am I rotten for acting like a baby myself for having to share my friend?
I don’t like to always be so morbid when it comes to my life. But anymore what else am I supposed to do. I smile when Kidd and Karsen looked over at me. And I laugh along with everyone when they make a joke about the baby.
Slade looked at me. He places a hand on my leg and squeezes. “It won’t be like this forever.”
“Are you sure about that?” I say. “From what I hear babies live for a long time.” It sounded funny in my head.
“Let’s get out of here.” He stands up and announces to the entire house we are leaving. And I follow behind him out the front door.
“What are we doing?” I follow him across the lawn thinking we are going back to our house but he cuts across the lawn and slips behind our house into the woods.
“We are going to have some fun,” he says. “Something we stopped doing.”
“I’m not sure if I even know how to have fun anymore,” I say.
Slade claps his hands together and the leaves shift and dance all around us. They perk up and become our own little show, beautiful creatures dancing all around us.
“That’s cool.” I smile. “Really cool.”
“Dance with me,” he says offering his hand.
I raise an eyebrow because I don’t hear any music. And he starts singing.
***
As soon as I am inside of my house I let out a sigh of relief, it was hard trying to act happy when I don’t feel happy. I walk past my painting and go into the kitchen.
Slade creeps up behind me and wraps his arms around me as soon as I bring the glass of wine to my lips. “What are you doing?”
“Drinking. Want some? I got it from the hardware store.” I spin around in his grip and offer him a sip. “It’s pretty good.”
“The hardware store sells wine?” He raises an eyebrow but doesn’t take the glass. “I was thinking we go out for dinner. Get out of this house.”
I take another sip. This wine is superb and before I know it I am pouring myself a second glass. “What did you have in mind?”
“There’s a new Asian fusion place down the street.” He shrugs, running a hand across the marble countertop. I know something is bothering him. “We only have a couple more days before tour starts up again.”
“And Kidd is okay with that?”
“The tour can’t stop because he had a kid.” Slade shakes his head at me like I am the one sounding ridiculous. “This is in the contract.”
“I understand all of that. But I don’t think Karsen will. She just had his baby. She needs help and they need time to bond,” I set my glass down, I’m a bit warm and woozy. What the hell is in this shit?
“My parents were never around. Erica and I got used to it really fast. We all did.”
I look at him prepared to argue parents are important when my vision blurs. I shake my head, fighting off the dread flooding through me.
“You okay?” He steps closer. “Usually you are telling me to go fuck myself when I disagree with you.” He grins, studying me.
I take a seat on the stool and hold my head in my hands. The more Slade talks the less any of it makes sense. I squeeze my eyes shut because I hear nothing Slade is saying but I can hear his voice—my dad.
What the hell?
He’s singing, singing that damn song about Jolene like the day we moved to Cherry. It repeats over and over.
The glass shatters at my feet. And it’s gone.
“What the fuck, Hope. You’re bleeding.” Slade grabs me by the arm jerking me out of the glass c
ollected at my feet. “What were you doing?”
He picks me up and carries me into the living room putting me down on the couch. I drop my foot into his lap and let him fish glass from the top of my foot.
“I don’t know what I was doing,” I tell him. “Do I need stitches?”
He presses his thumb into my skin examining my cut. He rubs his hands together fixing me himself instead of taking me to the doctor. Magic rules.
“Are you going to tell me what the fuck happened?” He waits. He’s not going to let this go.
“The other day, I came inside the house and I smelled cigarette smoke.”
Slade sighs, a loud angry sigh. “I’m going to fuck them up.”
I touch his arm. “It wasn’t Elliot or Easton.” He relaxes. “And just now I heard him singing. Am I crazy?”
Slade shakes his head. I can see it in his eyes, he’s as concerned as me. But he doesn’t admit it. He touches my face and shakes his head. “You’ve been through a lot of shit. You’re human, sometimes things are harder to get over.”
I let him hug me and rest my head against his chest. The only thing I can do is believe him. I would rather do that then lose my mind. I don’t want to lose my mind.
The Road
I hate tour buses.
But I hate being without my husband even more.
We bounce down the dirt road pulling into the next stop of the tour.
“This is going to be awesome,” Oz announces to the entire bus. Oz is the only one pumped up about tours and performing.
Slade is concerned with my mental health and Kidd is concerned Karsen will hate him if he ever admits to enjoying himself.
Karsen struggles with getting Xavier into his swaddle so she can follow everyone off the bus to watch the guys prepare for the show.
“You okay?” Slade asks, kissing me on the cheek.
He’s so goddamn beautiful. How could I not be okay standing next to him? “Of course I am. Now please for once enjoy the show. We have everything under control.”
Karsen finally succeeds at swaddling her baby and nods in agreement. “Everything will be fine.” Kidd kisses her and touches the baby’s head, placing soft kisses on Xavier.
“You are a superhero, sex kitten.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “And you look amazing.”
I roll my eyes. No matter what these two are so goddamn sweet to one another.
“Hey, hey, keep that up and you two are going to have another one in no time,” Slade says, pulling Kidd away before he can slip Karsen anymore tongue.
“What’s that supposed to mean, Slade?” Karsen says, settling into the sofa. “Would our procreation get in the middle of your plans for taking over the music industry?”
I raise an eyebrow. It seems like a dig.
“I’m saying with how long you took to swaddle that baby you need all the practice you can get.” He opens the refrigerator and takes out two beers. “Not to mention we’d never make it to practice waiting on you to swaddle two babies.”
Everyone laughs and Karsen picks up a stuffed animal and chucks it at Slade. “I know jealousy when I hear it. Maybe you’re mad because you didn’t knock Hope up first.”
I cross my arms, this is taking on a life of its own. And somehow I am a part of it.
“Oh, fuck off. I’d much rather be fucking my wife than changing diapers, asshole.” Slade shakes his head, grinning at Karsen.
“I’m just saying maybe you should get the sperm checked. Or has Hope sucked it all out of you?”
I pick up the stuffed animal and chuck it at Kidd.
He looks at me. “What was that for?”
“Well, I couldn’t hit her she’s holding a baby.” I sigh, this will be a long couple of months. “Not that my sex life is any of your business let’s stop talking about what I suck.”
“It wouldn’t be our business if you weren’t so goddamn loud. He can’t be that good.” Oz laughs, pleased with his own dig.
I roll my eyes and stand up just in time to see a tall redhead coming. She is holding a clipboard.
“Who is that?” Karsen asks, just as intrigued by her as I am.
“Guys I wanted to come in and make sure everything is okay before you go on.” She reads down the paper on her clipboard. “And that everything is to your liking.”
Karsen raises an eyebrow at me. “Kidd why don’t you give the baby a kiss before I put him down for a nap.”
Kidd stands up. “Sex kitten, this is April. She’s the band…”
April steps forward and hands Karsen a card with a cute little emblem on it. “I am a jack of all trades. Whatever these guys need I can give it to them. My job is to make sure everything runs efficiently.”
Karsen doesn’t hold back. “Let’s get something straight before I say it’s nice to meet you. Kidd is a married man with a happy family. And I am not afraid to cut a bitch. Keep your hands and vagina off of my husband.”
Kidd shakes his head and kisses Karsen on the cheek.
April smirks after Karsen threatened to kill her. “I think I like your wife, Kidd. She’s got spunk.”
“That’s just one thing that has me so infatuated with her.” Kidd kisses the baby and Karsen again. He grins.
“Well nice to meet you, April. Now that I have peed on my property I can tell you I think you are really beautiful and I love those heels.” Karsen pays her compliments and hurries off to handle the baby.
April looks at me. For maybe a nice hello but I’m not sure what to say. I am always awkward when I have competition. And April is stunning. She’s voluptuous, energetic, and can pull off hot red lipstick without looking tacky.
“And this is Hope.” She extends her hand and a card. “I give these to all my clients and their significant other, in case you ever need anything.” I take the card and shake her hand, noticing the French manicure. “You are as beautiful as Slade described you.”
I can’t help smiling. Slade ties up his boots and takes the spot next to me. “Are you hanging with Karsen or going to watch me rock the house?”
He kisses my forehead and adjust his shirt.
“Oh I want to see this.” I grab him by the shirt and kiss him. I tell him he will do great and watch the band take off for their first official performance since the baby.
“They are amazing.” April straightens the bowls of candy and water on the table. “I see big things for them. Really big things.”
I nod in agreement. “If anyone deserved it, it would be them. They’ve worked hard to get here.”
Karsen texts me. Is Skanzilla still there?
Yes, gushing about how amazing our men are. I bite my cheek to keep from laughing out loud.
Fumes
Watching Slade play is intense. It’s a thrill. It’s like a drug, intoxicating. I’ve never been prouder of him then when I see him on stage commanding the crowd. He has a way to pull everyone on their feet and make them scream.
The crowd tonight is the biggest I have seen—ever. I don’t ever see their success ending soon.
The way Slade moves under the lights, the way he moves his ass to the music—his music, it’s the same way he moves when he’s fucking me. God, I could watch this all day.
But if this show doesn’t end soon I might just come from watching his hips thrust. The way he screams into the crowd pulling them into the music—so hot.
Karsen taps me on the arm, pulling me out of my sexual fantasy. “I got the baby to sleep. Did I mention how good this feels to be doing something adult?”
“Only about every five minutes,” I shout over the music.
She shrugs and we both shake it to the music. “I wore a good bra!”
I laugh at her. “I dare you to flash Kidd.”
Karsen scrunches her nose as if contemplating for once in her life about her bad choices and then yanks her top up yelling for kid.
Kidd keeps on playing the guitar but he looks offstage and grins at her. He’s happy to see his wife’s tits.
T
o think that the gorgeous man on stage inciting the crowd into pandemonium, making woman crazy is mine. It’s a girl’s dream come true.
“Thank you. You guys fucking rock,” Slade tells the crowd. He jumps down from the speaker and exits the stage. They wrap up their set and I wait offstage for Slade to plant a kiss on my lips. He’s sweaty and has the biggest smile on his face. The kind he gets when he did something bad ass.
“That was amazing,” I tell him.
He nods and pulls me in, crushing his lips into mine. He grabs the back of my head and presses his body against mine. And when he breaks away he looks at Karsen and shakes his head. “Please stop flashing your tits. I do not want to see them.”
Karsen rolls her eyes. “I was showing Kidd.”
Oz throws an arm around Slade and laughs. “I have to agree. That’s as bad as Erica flashing her shit. Save it for the bedroom.”
For once guys aren’t dying to see her goodies.
Skills and Thrills
“Is it bad I am slightly threatened by little miss red lips?” Karsen stares down at her boobs and sighs. “I mean, she isn’t carrying around milk jugs. And she looks like she doesn’t have a hair out of place even when she rolls out of bed.”
She should worry about other things—like the baby or how amazing the band is doing right now.
I can’t get over how many people are at this show. This is the big time. Henry Park is a fucking sneeze compared to right now.
“Did I mention I am so grateful to Erica for becoming our built in nanny?”
I shake my head because I could have never imagined Erica giving up fan girling for babysitting but she did. She’s good at it too. I wonder if I will be that good.
I push the thought aside and focus on the smoke and flashing lights. Slade is about to do his song. He steps forward ripping his shirt over his head and throws it into the crowd. The crowd goes wild. Girls scream and clap. And a small fight breaks out over his sweaty t-shirt.
I sway along to the music taken hostage by his voice. Part of me wants to run on stage and squeeze him. But I wait because I know afterwards he is all mine.
