Camp Crush_Accidental Kisses

by Tammy Andresen

  “Is tonight weird?” she finally asked.

  “Maybe a little?” I grinned at her. “Why do you think it’s weird?”

  I heard her draw in a long breath. “I don’t know. It was supposed to be a date with Alex and…” she trailed off, looking up at me but I looked away. Alex. It was always about Alex.

  “He seems cool with just being friends.” I didn’t know what else to say. And maybe I was being impatient, but I wanted to start talking about us and not about him.

  She didn’t say anymore and we reached the end of the trail. The beach opened up before us and the fire blazed in the moonlight. Several logs had been dragged over to burn and others were spread in a circle to sit on.

  Chloe sat in on a vacant log and I sat next to her. I was probably a masochist but I didn’t want to just give up. That made it sound like I had a choice. But it was probably more accurate to say, I couldn’t make myself sit anywhere but next to her. Alex sat on her other side and Millie next to him.

  Well, wasn’t this just cozy? All the other counselors were talking and laughing as several more large logs went on the fire. The four of us, however, sat quietly. I stared into the flames. Every time we were all together, it got weirdly uncomfortable.

  Not knowing what else to do, I pulled out my guitar and began strumming. It always soothed me and as I played a few cords, the opening notes to “Titanium” drifted from my guitar.

  Chloe looked over at me, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight. “I love that song.”

  “Yeah,” I couldn’t help but smile, much of my tension easing. When she looked at me like that everything else melted away. “Do you sing? I mean, I know you sing but would you sing something like that?”

  She gave a tiny shrug. “I’ve sung that song in the shower before but that’s about it.”

  “That’s the perfect place to practice. Sing it for us.” I gave her a hopeful smile, praying she wouldn’t say no.

  Her head bopped back and forth but finally she took a deep breath. “Fine.”

  “Yes!” I yelled a little louder than necessary. Several people around us stopped talking. “I’ll start over.”

  It was meant for the piano but as the first note came out, Chloe took over. I’d known she had a good voice, she was always singing but those were camp songs the every one could sing. As her voice soared effortlessly over the notes, I had to concentrate to keep playing, her voice was mesmerizing. Why didn’t she sing absolutely everything? As she climbed up and over the lyrics of the chorus the words, floated above us, I realized everyone had gone silent to listen to her.

  Only the ocean waves added sound as she sang the second half of the song. By the end, I could barely make my fingers work, I was so struck by her effortless, soulful voice.

  It finally ended and I sat, my guitar in my hands, trying to breathe evenly. I’d known that I liked Chloe. But somehow, sharing this music made my feeling so much deeper. I was drowning in them.

  The group broke out in wild applause and Alex jumped up, giving a holler. “That was awesome.”

  “Thanks,” Chloe ducked her head, her hands coming up to her cheeks.

  “What could possibly come after that?” someone called. It was clearly meant as a compliment and I hid a smile. Chloe deserved it.

  “More fire!” Alex yelled into the night. “I’ll go get more wood.” He hopped up and in a flash he disappeared into the darkness.

  I watched Chloe rub her palms down her jeans. She gave me a quick look as she half rose and then sat again. Then she stood too. “I’ll come with you,” she said sprinting after him.

  What had just happened? I thought we’d had a moment. “Well that sucks,” I muttered as she disappeared into the darkness. I’d felt this amazing bond after playing with her and she’d just disappeared.

  “Hey,” Millie said sliding down next to me. “It doesn’t suck. I think she just wants to clear the air with Alex so there is no confusion.” She paused. “You know, before she does anything else.”

  Does anything else? That sounded a lot like she had plans to date other people. Maybe even me.

  I jumped up too unable to sit any longer. I wanted to talk with her, maybe even hold her close. “Thanks, Millie. I’ll see you later.”

  She waved her hand. “Sure. Glad to help.” She let out a little sigh. “Pay no attention to the fact that I am only here to support Chloe. No one wants to date little old me.”

  I gave her back a quick pat. “Millie, you’re gorgeous. Any day now, some guy is going to fall madly in love.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” she replied. “I can’t believe you’re heading to bed already.”

  I didn’t reply because I was already sprinting after Chloe.

  It was difficult to see in the dark and for a few minutes I thought I wouldn’t find her. The moonlight was dim but as I walked along the shore, I heard her call, “Alex?”

  Heading for the sound, I caught her outline in the moonlight. I could barely make her out but her hair was a dead giveaway. Those curls caught the light, shimmering in the most beautiful way.

  “Hey,” I called. I wanted to be next her, I wanted to touch her, to kiss her. I wanted to make this night about me not about him. Hope and affection were muddling my brain into a warm gooey mess.

  “Hey,” she replied, turning towards me. “I wanted to--”

  But I didn’t let her finish. Grabbing her waist, I pulled her against me and dropped my lips to hers. She was still for a second, shocked at what I had done. But as I kissed her again, her lips softened, warmed, and responded in the most gratifying way. She tasted so sweet and I as I kissed her more deeply, her hands slid up my chest to reach around my neck.

  I slanted her mouth open and pressed her closer as the touch grew more intimate. I’d never had a kiss like this. It was amazing. Our connection palpable.

  I could have stayed there all night, kissing her like this, holding her close. But the sounds of several guys yelling finally broke the spell. I lifted my head. “I didn’t know--”

  But she silenced me with her next words. “I didn’t know either, Alex.” She sounded breathy and excited. She sounded in love… with Alex. She thought I was Alex. My head spun as I stepped away. I couldn’t talk because if I did, I’d say way worse things than I had ever said last summer. I wanted this girl and I’d thought she’d wanted me too. But all she’d ever wanted was Alex. Taking another step back, I broke into a jog and then started to run. I needed to get out of here, fast.

  * * *

  Chloe

  What had just happened? I tried to make sense of it, but nothing fit together. Holding my fingers to my lips, I knew one thing. Kissing was amazing. At least, kissing Alex was.

  And that confused me so much. Because I’d been so sure that I only liked Alex as a friend. I’d followed him out here to tell him so, hadn’t I? When we were together I didn’t feel that breathless desire like I did with… I wouldn’t think about Drew now. Because it was Alex who I’d come out here to talk to. And then when I’d called for him, he’d come and kissed me and…

  I paused. This whole thing would have been easier if I had seen his face. If he’d really talked to me. Because even knowing it was him that had kissed me, I was having trouble picturing him in front of me, his lips on mine.

  And why did he ask me out, then say we should go as friends and then kiss me? It made no sense.

  Not knowing what else to do, I headed back to the fire. Alex was there, with his arm around Millie again. Which was so wrong. He had kissed me and now he was hanging all over my best friend. It was my first instinct to talk with Drew. He’d help me make sense of this but Drew was gone.

  Drew. Crap.

  That situation was even more confusing than the one with Alex. Because Drew took my breath away. And he irritated me to no end. When he wasn’t being super supportive and understanding.

  I sat back down and Alex gave me a little shove on the arm. “What’s up, buttercup? Where’d you go?”

  Where did
I go? I went to get my first kiss. With you! “You know where I was.”

  He scrunched his eyebrows down, looking confused. “Where is Drew?”

  “I’m not sure,” I said.

  Millie leaned around Alex. “He went back to his cabin, I think.”

  He’d left? Part of me was relieved while another was disappointed. Which was so confusing. I’d just shared an amazing kiss with another guy.

  And Alex was acting like nothing had happened. I mean, he talked, a lot. And he told giant crazy stories about sharks attacking on the beach, making everyone laugh. But he barely looked at me.

  How could he not even look at me after that amazing earth shattering kiss? Then I gasped. Was I the only one who’d found it to be so unbelievable? Maybe he hadn’t liked it and was now pretending it had never happened. How should I know? I had no experience to fall back on.

  Finally, I got up, and started walking. Because this night had been incredibly confusing. I wandered without really seeing but found myself back at the cabins. Bypassing the path to my own, I went down to the boys’ section. I knew which cabin belonged to Drew and Alex and I stood fifty feet away, staring at it. It was dark and nothing stirred in the night.

  Should I knock? Not only did I want to know why Drew had left, but I also wanted to talk with him about my confusion. Which in and of itself was confusing. When had Drew become the person I wanted to hash out my feelings with?

  And honestly, I wanted to kiss Drew too. Which officially made me the worst person ever but I felt so close to him. What would a kiss with him be like? I shook my head to clear these thoughts. Boys were not shirts that you tried on to see which fit the best. I had to make a decision and I had to stick to it.

  Kicking my foot in the dirt, I decided I’d better not knock. I’d talk with him in the morning. Tomorrow was Saturday. Millie and Alex had the day off but we’d be running all camp activities. Together.

  Sighing, I went off to my own cabin. But I didn’t fall asleep till well after Millie came in for the night. I should have been excited. I’d just gotten my first kiss and it had been magical. But something was off.

  Chapter Ten

  Drew

  By the morning, I’d decided I hated her. I seriously hated her guts. That had been the best kiss of my life and she had thought it was Alex.

  OK, I didn’t really hate her. The problem was I loved her. I’d come to that realization as I listened to her sing. What was wrong with me that girls didn’t take me seriously?

  I grabbed my head in my hands and sank my elbows to my knees as I sat on the edge of my bed. How was I going to face the day? Face her? I swear my heart was broken. It was funny because it made me reflect on Sarah. I hadn’t felt anything close to this. Honestly, it had just been my pride that had been smarting when she broke up with me. But this. It cut so much deeper.

  As I made my way to breakfast, I tried to calm my quelling stomach. I had to spend the entire day around Chloe. The girl I was in love with who was in love with my best friend.

  I knew after that kiss, that I didn’t just like her. That was the worst part. Well that and I had also learned that she didn’t like me. I had thought we were getting closer but she had said friends and I guess she’d meant it.

  That wasn’t her fault, it was mine. But it still hurt.

  She came breezing into the cafeteria, her high ponytail bouncing behind her, loose wisps about her face. I quickly ate the rest of my breakfast and got up before I had to talk to her.

  Yep, I was doing heavy duty ignoring here.

  But a half hour later, I was in the field for all-camp activities and there she was, looking so perfect. At least an entire camp of kids separated us. I saw her look at me several times, but I was careful not to make eye contact. Cowardly, I know. But at least I wasn’t insulting her.

  I didn’t have a right to be angry with her. She’d been completely honest about liking Alex and about wanting to be friends with me. But I recognized the emotion now. It was the anger I’d felt all last summer and it stemmed from good old-fashioned jealousy.

  I wouldn’t blow up our friendship again and so, instead, I was sulking in the corner.

  “What happened to you last night?” Chloe said as she stood in front of me.

  I blinked in surprise. She’d snuck up on me. “Nothing,” I grumped then took a breath. “I was intruding on your date.”

  Her eyes widened. “You weren’t. We were going as friends and--”

  “I’m pretty sure we weren’t all just friends.” I tried to remain neutral but I could hear the snark invading my voice.

  She gave a little gasp. “You know?” she whispered.

  “I know,” I replied not sure what else to say. I mean I could have said, of course I know. It was me. I kissed you. But I just couldn’t open myself up to any more rejection. It was just like last summer with Sarah only so much worse.

  I saw her hands wrap around her stomach and I knew that something was bothering her too. She thought the guy she liked had kissed her. What could be bothering her about that? Except, a little voice chastised, she’d decided to only be friends with Alex, and now she thought the kiss was from him. She was likely confused. A string of swears ran through my head.

  “I…” her head tilted down to the ground. “I didn’t know it would be like that.”

  “Like what?” I asked stepping forward. I wanted to protect her again.

  “Kissing, I guess.” She drew in a ragged breath. “No wonder people do it all the time.”

  That was just too much. She’d like it. Liked my kiss and she thought it was Alex. A buzzing started deep in my brain. “Well, I guess you two will make a great couple then. A happy bubbly Alka Seltzer couple.” Then I turned and stormed away.

  It was only after I’d made it to the other side of the crowd that I looked back and saw her standing exactly where I left her with her head down. She swiped at her eyes and I knew I’d made her cry.

  Everything in me tensed. I was such a jerk. I wanted to take it back. I wanted to apologize. But it was too late. I’d just ruined whatever relationship I had with Chloe.

  * * *

  Chloe

  I swiped at a tear and told myself not to cry. I was a counselor and crying was for babies. But Drew had just wrecked me. I knew the snarky jerk I’d first met would return. But in between, I’d grown to care about the nice guy under the gruff exterior and it hurt even more now.

  The rest of the day, I tried to be myself with the campers. I knew the kids loved my energy even if certain fellow counselors didn’t. But my enthusiasm felt fake, brittle, and hollow.

  I was exhausted by the end of the day and I just wanted to climb into bed. The worst part was that tomorrow was Sunday and I was supposed to drive Drew up to Boston. Could I cancel?

  It seemed like a jerky thing to do but, then again, he’d been a jerk to me.

  I arrived at dinner to find Millie already sitting with Alex and Drew and my shoulders slumped. My choices were an awkward dinner with the three of them or deliberately ignoring them, which was not my style at all. I could also just head back to my cabin, but the thought of not eating made my stomach churn. It had been a long day of fake energy and I needed fuel.

  Loading up my tray, I walked as slowly as I could over to the table. Maybe they’d finish before I could get there. But they didn’t and, what was worse, they all watched me walk over like they were waiting for me.

  “There you are,” Alex nearly yelled as I finally reached he table. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

  “Oh yeah,” I replied quietly taking a seat next to Millie. I didn’t look at Drew as I started picking at my food.

  “I was just telling Drew that we should go hang on the beach. A group of counselors is getting together and it would be fun.” Alex emphasized the last word like Drew had thought otherwise. I agreed with Drew. It sounded awful.

  I was emotionally drained and still confused. “I don’t think--” I started.

  “Oh come on,�
�� Alex gave a high-pitched whine on the last word. “What is the matter with you two?”

  “Nothing is the matter,” Drew nearly growled.

  Alex rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right.”

  “We can’t all be as happy as you, bro,” Drew answered quietly.

  That only made Alex grin as he pumped his fist in the air. “We’re friends and we’ve got the whole summer. Why does everyone look so sad? Let’s go have some fun!”

  I gave a tiny sigh. Alex was right, we should try to have a good time. I looked across the table at him as he gave us a goofy grin to try and provoke us. I couldn’t picture this guy kissing me like I’d been kissed last night. He seemed like a totally different guy from the intense emotion I’d experienced. I needed to talk to Alex for real and figure out what was going on. “Fine, I’ll go.” I looked over to Drew. I was still angry at him but he was upset about something too. “Are you in?”

  He looked at me for so long that I started to wonder if I’d said something completely wrong. But finally, he shrugged. “I guess.”

  “Yes!” Alex yelled and several people turned to look at us. I couldn’t help but smile a little at his enthusiasm.

  I made to pump my fist in the air, and join in but before I could, Alex was off again. “It’s gonna be amazing,” he yelled even louder.

  Guess there wasn’t room for my antics but, I’d have fun later.

  Millie was grinning too and Drew gave me a grudging smile across the table. “You know you want to,” he said just loudly enough to be heard over Alex.

  I did. I did want to. “Are you gonna do it with me?” Now I was really grinning, excitement pumping through my veins. This is what I loved.

  “You want me to?” Drew asked.

  “Please,” I gave him what I hoped were my best puppy dog eyes.

  He chuckled. “Fine.” He started to stand and I climbed up on the bench. I was going all the way with this one.

  Oh we’re from Camp Winni and we’re on the best team…