Jamie-Leigh gratefully made her way upstairs, leaving her chattering daughters in Sheila’s capable hands. Even now, she struggled to reconcile the angry mom Hank had described, with the gentle and loving woman she knew. But, she knew that everyone could be different when behind closed doors. She had hidden her own insecurities for years, after all. She hid her shyness behind a competent and lively façade, and she doubted even Hank had ever realized just how fearful she was of anyone finding out about her crippling lack of confidence.
Turning on the faucet in the shower, Jamie-Leigh let the hot water wash over her body, easing the tension in her shoulders. She lathered her body and her hair, enjoying the scents of the products she had chosen to cheer herself up. Reluctantly she turned the water off and stepped onto the bath mat, where she wrapped a towel around herself and wandered into her bedroom.
Her dress was hanging on the back of the door, still in its cellophane wrapping from the dry cleaners. She eased the blue cocktail dress out, and laid it on the bed while she pulled on her underwear. Slipping the dress over her head, Jamie-Leigh felt a little guilty about going out, leaving the girls.
Images of Hank’s face flicked through her mind. She felt like she was somehow betraying him. But, it was only a client dinner, even though the client happened to be Martin Claybourne, who often flirted with her. He’d said once he wished he’d met her before she was a married woman.
Jamie-Leigh knew she needed to be careful with him. This dinner had to remain professional. First of all, she was still married. There was no way she’d even flirt with the idea of dating before the divorce was final.
Secondly, she was a professional and dedicated to her job. Mixing business and pleasure was never a good idea, in her opinion, and she wouldn’t compromise on that. Even for a smooth talker like Martin Claybourne there had to be limits.
And the truth was, she wasn’t ready for another man in her life. Seeing him today had made her realize she wasn’t over Hank yet. She had no idea how long that would take. Until then, dating would have to wait.
“Wow, Mom,” Casey said, her rosebud mouth wide as Jamie-Leigh descended the stairs. “You look amazing.”
“You look like a princess,” Emily sighed dreamily.
“I don’t know about that,” Jamie-Leigh said feeling a little uncomfortable at their effusive praise. She looked up and saw Sheila leaning against the living room door frame. She had an odd look on her face. It felt like she disapproved of the fact the Jamie-Leigh had made an effort for anyone other than Hank.
“You look lovely,” Sheila said, through pursed lips. “Have a good time.”
“Thank you for looking after the girls for me,” Jamie-Leigh said.
“No trouble,” Sheila said, still not looking any happier.
Jamie-Leigh left the house, wondering whether she should have asked Maddy to have the girls overnight, rather than bothering her mother-in-law. She had thought it would be good for Sheila, and for the girls, but it was clear Sheila thought Jamie-Leigh was going out on a real date, and that she disapproved. Jamie-Leigh wondered if it would ever be possible for her to please anyone. She certainly felt as though no matter what she did, someone would always be disappointed in her.
Martin looked delighted to see her when she arrived at the restaurant in Harrison. He was dressed in an expensive suit, and his blue eyes sparkled as he greeted her with a polite kiss on the cheek. Jamie-Leigh took the seat opposite him, and they made polite chatter for a few minutes as they waited for the waiter to bring the menus. Martin asked about the girls, and she asked how business was for him. He ran a successful engineering company, and they were involved in projects all over the world. She loved hearing about the challenges he and his workers faced to deliver their exceptional skills and knowledge.
The meal was delicious, and the time flew by as they discussed what he wanted from Jamie-Leigh and her accountancy firm. She took notes, and promised him she would get the office to send over the contracts for him to peruse by Monday at the latest.
They parted amicably, and Jamie-Leigh got into her car where she watched Martin pull away in his Porsche. She turned the key in the ignition. The engine turned over, but did not start. She tried a second time, but this time it just whirred and squealed.
“Oh, I don’t need this,” she whined, clenching her fists in her lap. She pulled out her cell phone, wondering who she could call. The girls would be in bed already and Sheila wouldn’t be able to leave them to come get her. The journey to Harrison would take twenty minutes, and there was no way she’d want the girls left alone for almost an hour for the round trip.
She pulled up Maddy’s number, then remembered Maddy and Michael were out of town in Georgia for her mama’s birthday. There was only one person she knew who would be free, and she didn’t want to call him. But, she didn’t have any choice. She pulled up Hank’s number. Taking a deep breath, she flicked her screen to begin dialing.
9
Hank raced to Harrison, fuming. The idea that anyone could have left Jamie-Leigh on her own was outlandish. Why would anyone just drive off without waiting to see that she was safely on her way first?
His blood was boiling. The restaurant in Harrison was in a good area, but he still didn’t want her to have to wait alone for too long. He pulled up in the parking lot, his brakes screeching as he halted right beside Jamie-Leigh’s car. She got out and Hank felt his heart stop.
Her hair was pinned in a sleek chignon, and she was wearing a dress he didn’t recognize, but it showed off her long legs and curves to perfection. She looked stunning, and Hank couldn’t stop a pang of envy directed towards whoever she had spent the evening with. “You okay?” he asked her, as he jumped out of his SUV.
“Sure. The car wouldn’t start, and I stupidly kept trying. I think I’ve flooded it,” she said with a rueful grin, as she bent down to pop the hood. “You’ve got jumper cables?”
Hank reached into the back of the SUV, and pulled them out, waving them at her. “I came prepared,” he said with a grin. “What happened to your date?” he asked, trying his best to sound nonchalant.
“It wasn’t a date. It was a work dinner with Martin Claybourne,” she said, a little defensively.
“He’s always had a thing for you,” Hank noted as he popped his own hood. “I’m surprised he’d leave you alone like this.”
“I was in the car, and I stopped to check my messages. Jim wanted to know how the dinner had gone, whether I’d secured the contract. I looked up to see Martin pulling out of the parking lot, and then tried to start the car. I’ve been meaning to take it in. It’s been a bit jumpy for weeks. I just never seem to have the time. It’s my fault.”
“I can pop over and look it over tomorrow, if you like?”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll just take it in.”
“You know I don’t mind. Just because we’re not together doesn’t mean I can’t do things for you when you need it. Really, I don’t mind.” He smiled at her and looked back down at what he was doing.
“I know, I just. I don’t know, I feel awkward,” Jamie-Leigh admitted.
“No need, Jamie. Why pay for stuff like that, when you know I love tinkering around under the hood,” Hank said as he attached the cables to the batteries carefully. He moved to start his car, and they stood staring at one another waiting for Jamie-Leigh’s battery to regain enough charge for her to start the engine so they could head home.
“Try it now,” Hank yelled to her from over the sound of his own engine. She nodded, and slid into the driver’s seat. She turned the ignition, and was delighted when the engine started up the first time. She revved the engine, as Hank removed the cables and threw them back into the SUV.
“I’ll follow you back, just in case anything happens,” Hank assured her. “Keep your revs high.”
“I know,” Jamie-Leigh said, smiling at him.
He was being so sweet, so patient. She was glad she’d called him. Hank was always the best guy to have around in a cris
is. He waited for her to pull out of the parking lot, and followed her out onto the road. Just knowing he was there made her feel safe. She glanced in her rearview mirror, and saw him patiently following as they passed under a streetlight.
Somehow, they made it back without having had to stop at any intersection, or stop light. Jamie-Leigh sighed with relief as she pulled onto the driveway. She got out of the car, and wandered down to the street where Hank had parked on the road. She leaned against the SUV, as he wound down the window. “Thank you,” she said.
“I’ve always liked being a knight in shining armor,” Hank joked.
“You’ve always been good at it,” Jamie-Leigh whispered, dropping her head down, so Hank wouldn’t see just how grateful she was.
He got out of the SUV, reached out and tilted her chin up so he could look her in the eye. Jamie-Leigh squirmed under his gaze. “Don’t ever be afraid to ask for my help, Jamie,” he said softly. “I’d do anything for you, and for the girls.”
“I know,” she said, a single tear falling down her cheek. “I wasn’t going to call, I thought you’d be angry at me for going out with another man.”
“You said it wasn’t a date,” he said simply. “I know Martin has a thing for you, but you’ve never shown any interest. It isn’t as if I am in any position to condemn you after what I did to you.”
“Did you do it to me, though? Or did you do it to you?” she asked, realizing she’d never considered this before. Hank would never have wanted to hurt her, or the girls. Jamie-Leigh had never doubted that the three of them were his world. But, he had sought to punish himself, for the failings he believed he possessed. Impulsively she leaned over and pressed a kiss to his lips.
He groaned. Hank could hardly believe what was happening as Jamie-Leigh’s lips sought his, in a kiss unlike any she had ever given him before. It was surprisingly passionate. He moved his hand to her neck, pushing his fingers up into her hair, loosening the pins and making her hair come tumbling down around them in a curtain of silk.
“Jamie,” he gasped. She smiled at him. “Oh, my darling, Jamie. I’ve missed you so badly,” he murmured as he buried his head in her neck and kissed her soft skin.
“Hank,” she sighed, her body becoming pliant and soft. He pulled her close, unable to stop what had begun so unexpectedly.
“This is…”
“Crazy?” she asked, grinning at him. “I can’t believe we’re standing on our driveway, necking like a couple of teenagers.”
“It’s kind of nice, though,” Hank said, not sure if he should begin kissing her again, or if he should do the right thing and pull away. But, Jamie-Leigh made the decision for him. She put her hands against his chest, and pushed her body away from his.
“Yes, too nice,” she admitted. “I should go in. The girls and Sheila were expecting me in ages ago.”
“I can say a quick hello to Mom,” Hank said. “Maybe follow her home to make sure she gets there okay.”
“I’m sure she’d like that. I’ll go and tell her you’re out here waiting.” Jamie-Leigh gave him a sad smile, and then ran to the front door. The porch light flicked on, and Hank watched as she let herself into the house. He got back into the car, and pondered what had just happened. She had pushed him away, but she hadn’t said that they shouldn’t have done it. For the first time in months, Hank felt a flicker of hope that there might just be something in their marriage that could be salvaged.
His mom came out just a few minutes later, and hurried over to him. “I saw you,” she said, a knowing smile on her face.
“It was just a kiss, Mom,” Hank reminded her. “It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Hank. That’s your trouble, always has been. You never see what’s right under your nose,” Sheila said.
“Is that really surprising, given that looking too closely at anything in our family was most definitely a path to a beating?” he asked bitterly. He immediately regretted his harsh words, as his mom blanched.
“I should have left your father the very first time he struck you,” she said sadly. “I was just too weak.
“Mom, you should have left him the first time he struck you. You shouldn’t have waited for him to hit me, too.”
“I loved him. And, it was a different time. Divorce was frowned upon, and my family would have disowned me. I was afraid of losing you. I thought he’d take you and run. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.” Sheila’s eyes filled with tears.
Hank put his big hand over her tiny one, and squeezed her reassuringly. “Mom, I know you think you loved him, but that wasn’t love.”
“I know, I know. He owned me, in every sense. I’m sorry we both failed you.”
“It’ll be alright,” Hank said, and realized he’d forgiven his mom, at last.
“You have to do what you can to make things right with Jamie-Leigh, son. That girl is the best thing that ever happened to you. You need her,” Sheila said earnestly. “You need to get her back before someone else snaps her up.”
Hank laughed, realizing his mom was alluding to how glamorous Jamie had looked that night. “She wasn’t out on a date, Mom,” he assured her.
“You don’t know that, Hank.”
“Oh, I do. She was out with a man I know well. A man I introduced her to, in fact. He’s definitely just a client. If she was going to be with anyone, I can assure you it would never be him.”
“If you’re sure,” Sheila said, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief.
“I’m sure, Mom,” Hank said.
Once he’d made sure him Mom was safe at home, Hank drove around in the darkness, trying to calm his thoughts. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as he remembered that blistering kiss. Jamie-Leigh had never kissed him so forcefully, with so much passion and fire. He prayed that she hadn’t just been saying a final goodbye. His cell phone vibrated on the dash. He flipped it over and saw a text message from Jamie-Leigh.
We need to talk.
She wasn’t wrong. He took a left at the light, and headed back towards the grand Victorian he had once called home. When he pulled up outside the house, Jamie-Leigh was on the porch, wrapped in a blanket, rocking gently and staring up at the sky. She looked like a scene in a picture book, so ethereal and perfect. Hank couldn’t help it, he still loved her, still wanted her, even though he knew he did not deserve her.
10
“Hey,” Jamie-Leigh said as Hank climbed the steps, taking two at a time, to join her on the porch. He took a seat on the swing seat, perching on the edge, his hands clasped, elbows resting on his knees.
“Hey,” he said, trying to take his cue from her.
They sat in silence, just staring up at the sky. The dark night was peppered with stars. “It’s so beautiful, isn’t it?” Jamie-Leigh said quietly.
He nodded. “Jamie, I’m so sorry.”
“I know. I do forgive you,” she said. “Now that I can make some kind of sense of it all, I can see why it happened.”
“But, that doesn’t change anything?” he said, sure of the answer.
“It changes something, but I don’t know if it is enough,” Jamie-Leigh admitted.
“I will always love you. I certainly did not love Amelia Haines, and I cannot imagine ever feeling for anyone what I feel for you,” he said fervently.
Jamie-Leigh looked at him, her thoughts a jumble. Part of her longed to forgive him and let him back into her life. Then there were the voices screaming that she should never trust him again.
“I love you, too, Hank. I certainly cannot imagine ever loving anyone the way I loved you, or at least the way I thought I loved you.”
“Thought you loved me?”
“Yes, because for me love has to begin with trust. But everything that’s happened has made me realize that neither of us ever really trusted the other.”
“What do you mean? I would trust you with my life,” Hank said, his eyebrows scrunching up in his confusion.
“And I would trust
you with my life,” Jamie-Leigh said. “But, neither of us were prepared to trust each other with something even more important. Those secrets that made us both who we are remained secrets.”
“I can see where I didn’t tell you about my childhood. Gosh, I just didn’t want to burden you with it. It was bad enough that it was part of my life, I didn’t want it to taint your life, too. But, you’ve never lied to me that way.”
“But, I have,” she said. “And those secrets were always going to affect us because they were bound to surface at some point. If it hadn’t been your terrible childhood, it would have been my insecurities.”
“Your insecurities? But, you are the cleverest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. Why would you feel that way?” Hank asked his eyes wide, showing his surprise.
“I’ve always felt that way. Hank, I was an orphan at seven. Though my grandmother did an excellent job of trying to make me feel like I belonged, I never felt like I did.” Jamie-Leigh felt a weight lift from her shoulders as she admitted to Hank the way she had felt for as long as she could remember. “I learned not to show it, not to be any trouble. But most of all, I learned ways to make sure I appeared confident. I’d seen too many clever kids get made fun of, and I was determined that wouldn’t happen to me. I made sure I was useful to the people who could make my passage through high school go more smoothly.”
“Wow, I never knew.”
“You didn’t take away my confidence, but you shattered the façade I’d built to hide my fears and anxieties. It hurt too much to keep being brave.”
“I’m so sorry, Jamie-Leigh. I should have known. I should have been there for you. But most of all I should never have done what I did. I’ll regret that until my last breath.”
“I should have been there for you, too,” Jamie-Leigh said sadly. “We’ve both been fools, Hank. Maybe we should try again, and really get to know each other properly this time around?”
“I’d like that,” Hank said, smiling at her.
You Can Go Home (Christian Second Chance Romance) Page 6
