“Jonah,” Graham said. “I’m surprised to hear from you. Have you talked to Gay?”
I rolled my eyes. “Sort of. That’s why I wanted to talk to you.”
“What’s up?”
Again I spilled my tale, telling him about Jasper Carrington and Ariel, and about the hush money. I left out anything about Lacy, because I didn’t want to shade his opinion of her. If he decided to take me on, I eventually wanted him to consider Lacy for a contract as well.
We couldn’t be together, I understood that now. But I owed this to her.
“Needless to say, I want a change of representation,” I said.
“Mmhmm,” he murmured thoughtfully. “But you are under a contract until, what? Next May?”
“Yes,” I affirmed as I thought about that damnable piece of paper tying me to Gay and to Southern Nights.
“It’s not a record contract, though, right?” I confirmed that it wasn’t. He was thoughtful for a moment. “I’d love to put you on the new season of Fierce,” he said. “But that starts filming in a few months for a January debut.”
“Fierce?” I echoed. I wasn’t sure I wanted to compete on a televised talent show, especially one heralded for giving those a little more disadvantaged a chance. Clearly I had several positives going for me that someone, like a wounded veteran with a fake leg, wouldn’t have.
“The way I see it there’s only one downside to representing you, and that’s experience. Fierce has become a proven training ground. You don’t even need to win to launch a career. But it will test your mettle. I think it’d be a perfect fit, given your backstory.”
I glanced down at the $10,000 check. “So if I could get out of this contract with Gay, when would you need me in California?”
“You’d have to go through the audition process, like the other contestants,” he said. “You’d have to send in a performance video to be evaluated. If the judges like what they see, they’ll bring you to L.A. for the live auditions we tape for the show, starting early November. If you make it to the live shows, those begin mid-January, at which point we’ll relocate you to the house you’ll share with the other contestants by the first of the year.”
“And my family?” I said. I wouldn’t leave my Mama or Leah behind.
“Would become our family,” Graham promised. He detailed the salary I could expect as a cast-member on a televised program, which would comfortably pay for my family’s living expenses for the several months it took to compete on the show. Graham had a list of places that offered short-term leases in corporate housing, specifically for the families.
It was almost seven by the time I got off the phone with him, armed with a plan for my future. I drove myself to Southern Nights for what I hoped would be my last night there.
I walked right to Gay’s office, where she was on the phone furiously trying to find a replacement act for the evening, given that she hadn’t heard from me.
I wondered momentarily if she called Lacy, begging her to come back after she cut her free. But I didn’t ask as I planted myself in the chair opposite her desk.
“Where the hell have you been?” she exploded as she slammed down the phone. “We open the door in two hours.”
“Honestly I wasn’t going to come back at all,” I told her. “Not after Jacinda told me the truth about Tony Paul.”
“Look, Jonah, that was all a huge misunderstanding…,” she started but I wasn’t having it.
“It was all bullshit,” I clarified. “You wanted to punish Lacy and you did. Congratulations.”
“This isn’t about Lacy,” she snapped as she tossed my contract in front of me. “This is about you and me, honey.”
“You’re right,” I said. “It is.” I threw the check from Carrington Entertainment onto her desk. Her eyes narrowed as she glared at me. “You said that by cashing that check I understood that I wasn’t to talk about my non-relationship with Ariel publicly. As you can see, I haven’t cashed it yet.”
“Is that a threat?” she asked.
“It’s a promise,” I corrected. “You let me out of my contract, today, or I go straight to Miles O’Rourke and tell him every dirty detail.” I smiled evilly. “Just remember. I learned how to play this game watching you, Gay.”
She leaned back in her chair as she evaluated me thoughtfully. “You better be real careful who you cross swords with, son. I’ve been in this business a lot longer than you. You can’t afford to burn any bridges.”
I shrugged. “I’m just some dumb hick playing rock star. I’m not the one with anything to lose. But if I spill the beans about Jasper Carrington, you can kiss any future contract with your precious Tony Paul goodbye.”
She pursed her lips. “Looks like I underestimated you, sugar,” she mused. She sat up and thumbed through some files in her desk. She pulled a folder out and opened it, withdrawing a piece of paper, which she signed and slid across the desk to me.
The document dissolved our relationship from the date signed, which she simply inked in with today’s date. I glanced back up at her. “How long have you had this?”
“From the beginning,” she admitted freely. “It was always the plan. I just needed to get rid of Lacy first. Imagine my surprise when both Jasper and Graham wanted you.”
I nodded. “Thanks for your honesty. A little late, but appreciated nonetheless.” I signed my part and handed it back to her before rising to leave. Just as I reached the door she called me back. I turned to see her waving the check at me.
“Didn’t you forget something?” she asked.
I walked back to the desk and took the check from her hand.
“Do yourself a favor and cash it, Jonah. You’ll need it to get the hell out of Austin. I can personally guarantee you that neither you nor your mother will get another job here again.”
“Is that what you told Lacy?” I asked her.
“Yes,” she answered with zero remorse.
“I’m sure Cody appreciates that, Grandma.”
“I have no grandchild,” she stated.
“You’re right,” I told her. “And that’s your loss.”
I left her with that.
The next day I drove Leah and myself to that old corner of our old homestead. She used my camera to film me as I sang the Dylan tune, “To Make You Feel My Love,” with nothing more than my acoustic guitar. I sang it for the woman I gave my heart to months before in this very spot. I didn’t know that was what I was doing at the time, but there was no doubt about it now. I wore my heart on my sleeve as I sang, pouring all the emotion I could into my song.
There were tears in Leah’s eyes when I finished. “That’s the best I’ve ever heard you sing,” she said.
I smiled. That meant a lot coming from my biggest fan. “Let’s hope the judges think so too,” I said. I didn’t bother editing. I didn’t even watch it before I sent the video straight to Graham.
As predicted, Mama lost her job at TX Hill Country Plastic and Steel within the week. During her 120-day evaluation, she was nailed on some bogus charges about hours lost. Turned out with all the time she lost with Leah being so sick when she was first hired, the day she had to take off so that I could shoot the video took her over the limit allowed in her probationary period. I knew instantly that Gay had everything to do with that. She was a powerhouse in Austin, who was on the Chamber of Commerce and hobnobbed with important and powerful people in the city and beyond.
I finally cashed the check because I had no other choice. Everything I had made up until then only cleared the ledger. We needed the extra cash to move. Whether I got the gig on Fierce or not, it was clear we couldn’t stay in Austin. It was Mama’s idea to go for broke and move to California. We found a place in Orange County, with our very own citrus trees in the backyard. Mama picked up work cleaning houses so that she could work during the day while Leah was at school. I found work in clubs around the area so that I worked at night.
Leah loved her new school and her new classmates. Her health even imp
roved with the change of climate. I almost wept with joy when she stepped foot into the majestic Pacific for the first time, her arms wide open to Mother Nature at last.
But each one of us waited with bated breath until that October, when the judges made their final picks for all the contestants brought back for the second audition.
Finally the call came. Though we had set our whole life up in expectation of it, it still seemed unreal. I knew that I was starting my music career over again from scratch. The minute I had walked out of Southern Nights, another pretty boy took my place as the possible arm candy for Ariel. All my social media accounts were deleted and the fickle public, that had embraced me so quickly, forgot I even existed within a few months.
I was a newbie again, learning to play the game from new, hopefully honest, players. I had to admit this held a lot more promising than some dank bar as I drove onto the back lot in Burbank where the show was filmed. Huge boxy buildings were painted with images from the show, including past contestants like Jace Riga and Jordi Hemphill.
I felt out of place from the moment I stepped in the door. Graham was quick to welcome me, introducing me to the lovely lady at his side. “This is Shannon McKenna. She’s another producer on our show.”
I shook her hand. “It’s so nice to meet you, ma’am,” I drawled and she twinkled at me.
“Country boy, huh?” she asked. I nodded. I would never be ashamed of that again. “So is my husband,” she winked before they led me to the auditorium in front of a bare black stage. “Don’t be nervous. Just go out there and own it and you’ll do fine.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” I said as I filed in behind them to the crowded audience. Each person wore a name tag like I did, so I knew they were fellow contestants. There were at least a hundred. My stomach dropped. Shannon didn’t make me feel any better when she added that these were the first of the week’s auditions, which meant more singers would be coming.
I would have to compete, just on my talent alone, for a spot on the show.
Everything was riding on it.
“There are refreshments back stage,” she said. “Feel free to help yourself.”
I nodded. I was suddenly parched from nerves and desperately needed a bottle of water. Several other contestants milled around the spread of fresh food and rows of beverages. I would have grabbed some grub, but my stomach had tangled itself into a knot. Instead I grabbed a bottle of water instead.
“Jonah?” a female voice asked from behind.
I spun around. Her lovely face hadn’t changed in all the months we had been apart. “Courtney?” I said.
She reached for a hug and of course I wouldn’t deny her. I lifted her right off the ground. “What are you doing here?” I asked.
She giggled. “Same as you,” she said. I set her on her feet. “But I have to admit I’m shocked to see you here. I thought you had hit the big time in Austin.”
I made a face. “Long story,” I dismissed. “But what are you doing here? I didn’t know you wanted to sing.”
She chuckled. “Turns out there’s only one thing I’m really good at, apparently. A couple of friends insisted I audition. I really didn’t think I’d make it this far.”
I gave her a warm smile. “I’m not surprised,” I said. “I’ve heard you sing.”
She chuckled and I knew both of us were thinking about that simple white church set atop rolling green pastures. “This is certainly a far cry from that, isn’t it?”
I nodded as I looked around. “I keep asking myself what the hell I’m doing here.”
“Don’t shortchange yourself, Jonah. You’re more talented than you know. I mean obviously, right? Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”
Again I nodded. I took a deep breath. “So. You want to go evaluate the competition?”
She grinned and shook her head as she said, “Sure.”
I laughed, took her arm in mine and walked her out to the full auditorium. We sat in plush seats and watched nervous, hopeful contestants audition before the three judges, Giovanni Carnevale, country star Allison Ewing and record producer Ryder Reed.
I was probably more intimidated by Allison than anyone else, considering she had graced several posters on my wall when I was a teen.
But with each passing audition, I realized what kind of stiff competition I faced. I was intimidated by all of them. It was instantly clear that our move out west had been premature. I was way out of my league. Even Courtney’s performance raised the bar.
I was just about to turn to Courtney and tell her I had to bail when I heard the first notes of “Dream On.” My eyes were drawn immediately to the stage, where I saw that familiar shock of vibrant red hair.
It was Lacy, standing straight and proud in a long ivory gown that accentuated her lovely figure, rather than wear it on display. Her hair was curled delicately around her shoulders, and her tattoos were vibrant and bold and beautiful on her skin, including a brand new one over her heart. Her dress dipped low enough so that everyone could see the daffodil molting into a flock of birds, flying away.
It was the perfect mixture of class and edge.
Courtney’s voice was soft as she leaned in towards me. “Did you know she was going to be here?”
I shook my head. I was clearly dumbstruck and completely speechless as I watched her sing. It filled my heart to overflowing to see her again so close. I memorized every detail of how she looked, how she stood, how she sang. I held my breath through her whole performance, especially as we got closer to that epic note at the end that she had never quite mastered. I clutched the arms of the chair I was sitting in as I mouthed along with the words.
When she reached that zenith she clearly went for broke, and nailed it just like I knew she would. Tears filled my eyes when I saw the look of jubilation, even surprise, on her face. She knew she hit a home run. “That’s my girl,” I whispered softly to myself. I watched the judges huddle together, whispering excitedly, happy smiles all around.
And that sealed my fate.
I didn’t care how outclassed I was. I had to move on in this competition. This was more than just about my career now. This was about my life… and I knew without any doubt I couldn’t be happy, couldn’t be successful, couldn’t be complete… without her in it.
When I walked out on that stage, I spotted Lacy easily in the first couple of rows. She was equally as stunned as I had been when she saw me. I grabbed my guitar and headed to the edge of the stage, sitting on it like I used to perch on that old log by the creek on my Daddy’s land. I forgot about everything else, transporting myself back in time, when it was just her and me and nothing else mattered in the world.
I played each note with feeling as I revisited the song I had taped for the audition. And I sang it to one person and one person only. I watched tears fill her eyes as she watched and she listened. I had a lot to make up for, I knew that. But I would do anything she wanted to win her back again. Life wasn’t living without her in it. I wanted to sing with her. I wanted to make love with her.
I wanted to make a life with her.
Tears spilled down my face as I fought for my place in her world. My voice didn’t crack until the end. I sent a nervous glance to the judges, but they were all misty-eyed. Allison even had to reach for a tissue. Graham handed his handkerchief to Shannon, who sat next to him on that front row. When I glanced back at Lacy’s spot, she was gone. I escaped the stage the second I could to chase after her.
I found her backstage.
We stood staring at each other for one long moment. I took a step towards her and she took a step back.
I knew this would be a difficult battle to win.
“You did great,” she managed in a tight voice strangled with tears.
“You, too,” I said. She nodded her thanks. “Lacy,” I said, my voice trailing off helplessly.
She turned and walked away. Courtney had come up behind me, tears in her own eyes after my emotional performance. She touched my arm and I turned to f
ace her. In just a look, I answered all the questions she was afraid to ask. She pulled herself together enough to offer me a friendly hug.
I stood in her arms and tried my best not to cry.
I didn’t see Lacy again until the following week, when we were tasked with learning a number with the band. She kept true to her rock roots with as she channeled Amy Lee. I opted for Queen and Courtney, who had made it through to the next round, sang a country ballad that would have done Reba proud.
The following week was the final cut. We were shuffled like cattle into different rooms. I found myself with several familiar faces from my group. I had no idea if that was just how we were separated, or if it meant we would all leave or stay as a collective group.
Lacy being in my group gave me hope.
Courtney grabbed my hand, understandably excited about her advancing this far. We sat on the floor together, cross-legged. She hung onto me for hope, but I couldn’t take my eyes off Lacy. She stood alone, like she had been forced to do so much of her life. I wanted to go to her, to hold her, to encourage her, but I was frozen to the spot, terrified of my own fate.
It was make it or break it. Do or die.
When Vanni walked into the room, there was a collective gasp of anticipation. He smiled. “I just want you all to know that you all did great. I’ve been doing this show a couple years, and the talent this year is outstanding. That is thanks to all of you, so give yourselves a big hand.” He clapped for us and we nervously followed along. “That being said, the cuts this year have been harder than any year before. We’re going to have to let people go who are seriously talented. Whatever happens today, I want you to know that each and every one of you has what it takes to turn music into your career. You should never give up if that’s what you really want. This business isn’t for the faint of heart. It will test you to your absolute limit and beyond. But as they say, success isn’t permanent and failure isn’t fatal. You always have to push through to that next step, no matter what, especially if you want a significant career.”
Southern Rocker Boy (Southern Rockers Book 1) Page 24
