by Erica Penrod
In the kitchen, Race had finished up the dishes and was wiping the counters.
“I didn’t know guys like you had a domestic side,” Jaxon said, which was a lie. It raked his skin every time he came in from chores and found the house tidied and the carpet vacuumed. He hated Race and Janie having anything in common, even if it was cleaning issues.
Race stopped and wrung the dishcloth in the clear water. He looked over his shoulder at Jaxon. “By guys like me, are you referring to my job as an attorney or my family’s money or my status as a cowboy?”
It was the first time, besides the time Jaxon punched him in the face, that he saw any hint of anger in Race, but just like before, it was gone before Jaxon could testify he’d seen it at all.
“I meant it seems a little odd to see a wealthy lawyer scrubbing dishes. Didn’t you grow up with people to do that for you?”
“Yes, but that didn’t mean we didn’t have chores. My parents made sure we knew how to work. Tuesday was my night for dishes, and my sisters took Wednesday and Thursday.”
Jaxon played the vision of Race doing chores in his head, frustrated by the thought. “That’s not what I imagined. I thought rich kids got to do whatever they wanted. Not like growing up here, living crop to crop and working a full day ever since I could remember.”
Race dried his hands on the towel and hung it over the oven door handle. “I would presume that’s part of why you’ve been so successful as a saddle bronc rider, knowing how to work hard.”
Jaxon reached in the fridge for a bottle of water. “That, and in it’s in my blood.” As soon as he said it, he felt awkward and took his time to close the door. “I mean, since my dad and grandpa both rode, I guess I never thought about doing anything else.”
“Until the reality show?” Race asked.
Jaxon shook his head. “Yeah, then there’s that. But my grandpa used to say, desperate times call for desperate measures, and we were desperate.”
“I’m sure Kyle’s very grateful to you.”
“If he is, he’s never mentioned it,” Jaxon said, taking a swig of water.
“I’m sure he is, but I guess he isn’t the kind of man to wear his heart on his sleeve.”
“Unless he’s mad at you; then he has no problem letting you know how he feels.” Jaxon took a set of keys hanging from a rack of welded horseshoes. “I’ve got to get back out there and move some feed around.”
“I’d like to see the place, see how you run things. Brynna will be here in about ten minutes. How about a tour?”
Jaxon didn’t sense anything but genuine interest. If there was anything Jaxon liked to talk about, it was the Double D. Strangers were known to back away slowly as he filled them in on the crop yields—categorized by year and cut. “Yeah, that’s fine. Come out when she gets here. Take a right at the bottom of the porch, and I’ll be out behind the barn.”
Jaxon walked into the living room and opened the front door.
“Thanks, Jaxon,” Race called behind him, making him pause. He nodded his head without turning around and closed the door behind him.
* * *
“What was that?” Janie asked, as she turned off her hair dryer. Tracy stood at the sink, washing out the color bowls.
“I asked how Kyle was doing.”
Janie clipped her client’s freshly weaved hair into sections so she could use the flat iron. “He’s doing great physically—the doctors say everything looks great—but mentally he’s struggling.”
“I don’t blame him. A heart attack would mess with my mind, I know that.”
“I don’t think it’s the heart attack that he’s having a difficult time with; it’s Brynna and her regimen of exercise and vegetables.”
Tracy stacked the bowls on a shelf as she dried them. “Poor Kyle. He’s been raised on meat and potatoes.”
“Not to mention he raises beef cattle,” Janie said. She styled as she talked. “Plus, he has all of his children under one roof for the first time.”
“Jaxon and Brynna are staying there?” Tracy asked.
“Brynna’s not staying, just frequently visiting and giving orders,” Janie said, grinning. “But Jaxon and Race are there.”
“Race is here?” Tracy asked.
“Yes, and he’s been a great help.”
“Sounds like it,” Tracy said. “Plus he’s easy on the eyes. But you already know that.”
“He does look just like Jaxon.”
But there was more to Race. He had many of the qualities she hoped Jaxon would mature into. He listened and shared his thoughts with a direct invitation, something Jaxon still struggled with.
But she gave Jaxon credit: he was trying. Nothing else about him and Miley had appeared in the tabloids since the first photos. He hadn’t run off to a rodeo, and understanding his love language, she knew the depth of his sincerity. He’d stuck around, and she had to admit he was trying for the whole eight seconds. If he hung around for the next ride, that would be another story. Jaxon always preferred a bucking bronc to riding out any family drama.
* * *
Janie opened the car door, and Gus hopped out and took off herding the chickens back into their pen. She lifted the hatch and took out a bag of groceries listed in Brynna’s text. She couldn’t figure out how Brynna was going through so much food, except that every night was like a family reunion at the ranch. Four grown men, including Brynna’s husband, and one pregnant lady were bound to eat their way through the fridge pretty quickly.
As she hefted a bag into her arms, she heard a hammer hitting wood. Looking around, she found Jaxon and Race working side by side replacing a busted fence post. Her heart caught in her throat as she watched Jaxon with his brother. His face reminded her of the young boy she’d known, carefree, with a smudge of dirt across his cheek. She slammed the hatch, and both men looked up.
Jaxon jogged over to the car. “Here,” he said, taking two bulging sacks. “You shouldn’t be carrying anything.”
“I’m fine,” she said. “It’s mostly bread.” Walking up to the porch, she wished she had taken a little extra time to get ready. She hadn’t washed her hair that morning. She had been too busy exfoliating other people’s scalps with a good scrub to have time to do her own, leaving the top of her head in a messy bun. After work, she ran home and changed into her favorite pair of cut-off jeans (with an elastic looped through the buttonhole for some extra tummy room) and an old T-shirt of Jaxon’s.
All morning at the salon, her pants were too tight, and all she could think about was getting out of them and into something that would let her breathe. In her haste, it didn’t occur to her not to wear Jaxon’s shirt with him hanging around. It was one of her little secrets, one of a few items of his that she had kept. She tried not to wash it, to keep his scent with her, but that only lasted a day or so. After that, she bought a bottle of his cologne and sprayed it on her pillow as needed.
“I like your shirt,” he said behind her. She was glad he couldn’t see the way she blushed, knowing he was watching her. “That always looked better on you than me, anyway.” He hopped the stairs and was next to her as she opened the door with her free arm. “Of course, you could wear a burlap sack and still be the prettiest girl I ever saw.”
“Yeah, right.” Walking into the house, she turned to him. “Nothing fits anymore. It makes it tough to get dressed in the morning.”
“Let’s go shopping and get you some maternity clothes,” Jaxon said, following her into the kitchen.
“You hate shopping,” she said, putting the groceries on the kitchen table.
“But I like you.” He grinned. Auburn stubble covered his face, the only resemblance left of his childhood strawberry blond curls, and it made her heart ache. If she hadn’t known him as a child, would it hurt this much? If the memories weren’t so deep that even if you hated the man at times, you would always love the little boy?
“That’s good, I guess,” she said, taking a loaf of wheat bread from the sack, “since I am carryi
ng your child.” Janie took a couple steps to the counter, opened the breadbox, and tucked the loaf inside. “We should be friends …” She looked over her shoulder and found Jaxon right behind her. She swallowed and stared into his eyes. “If we’re going to raise a child together.” Her words came out slowly as she turned to him. Janie underestimated his ability to make her body weak and her mind snub the world around them until he was all she could see, and he was the only thing keeping her together.
“I don’t want to be friends,” he said. His husky voice played through her head like a hypnotist with a flute. She could feel his breath along her neck. Goose bumps ran along her flesh, making her remember things better forgotten. He reached up and ran his finger down her jaw line. “I want my wife.”
“Jaxon, don’t …” She couldn’t finish. Why would she want him to stop? Her mouth was drawn to his. Like an ancient ritual, his lips parted, and he tipped his head while she leaned in.
“Don’t mind me,” Kyle said, and opened the refrigerator door.
Janie pulled back like she’d been slapped.
“Perfect timing,” Jaxon said.
“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” Kyle said, shutting the door with a container of low-fat yogurt in his hand.
Janie took a spoon from the silverware drawer and handed it to Kyle. “Here you go.” She glanced at Jaxon, then back to Kyle. “And you weren’t interrupting anything.”
Kyle peeled the lid back from the cup. “I may be old, but I know what I saw.” He sniffed the fruity concoction, ignoring Janie’s flushed strawberry complexion. “Yuck. This is all I should look forward to now? Maybe I should’ve passed through the pearly gates.”
“Dad, that’s not funny,” Brynna said, coming into the kitchen and helping herself to a handful of grapes. She started unpacking. “Isn’t there more?” she asked, inspecting the goods.
“Where did you come from?” Jaxon asked.
“In there.” Brynna pointed to the living room. “Apparently, you two didn’t notice Dad and me, like you were the only two people in the world,” she said dramatically, while she emptied a bag. “I swear I thought the list was longer than this.”
“It was,” Race said, as he passed through the doorway with his arms full of bulging sacks. His eyes met Janie’s, and she smiled.
“Oh, super,” Brynna said, looking at Janie. “I’d hate to have to send you back to the store, seeing as how you and Jaxon seem to be right in the middle of something.”
Janie flipped her in the thigh with the dishcloth. “And I’d hate to have to tell you to take your list and shove it where—”
“All I know is there better be something in one of those sacks with some substance,” Kyle said. “Forget the heart attack; I’m going to die of starvation.”
“I know it’s going to take some getting used to, but in a while, you won’t even notice,” Brynna said.
“Because I’ll have forgotten what good food tastes like,” Kyle said. “Excuse me,” he said as he passed by. “I’m going to watch some TV.”
“I’ll join you,” Race said. “I could use a break. Jaxon’s been putting me to work.” He smiled at the girls and nodded at Jaxon.
Once Race was in the other room, Brynna glared at her brother. “You better not have been torturing him in the name of farming.”
“Easy, sis,” Jaxon said. His dark eyes danced with mischievousness. “I only had him mend the fence line, stack some hay, feed the livestock, and, oh yeah—castrate the calves.”
“You better not have,” Brynna said through gritted teeth. “I swear, I’m—”
“Calm down,” he said. “I’m joking. He’s the one that asked me if he could help.”
Janie jumped in the middle. “I’m sure Jaxon’s been on his best behavior.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” he said, and Brynna rolled her eyes. “But don’t worry, I’m leaving.”
“Today?” Brynna asked. “I thought you could stay another day or so.”
“I’m not leaving to rodeo; I’m taking Janie shopping for some maternity clothes.”
“Yeah right,” his sister said. “Can’t you ever be serious?”
“I’ve never been more serious,” he said to Janie, like he belonged to her and only her. He sounded like her Jaxon, and all she ever wanted was to have that sweet boy back.
“Well, okay then,” Brynna said. “I guess you two should go have fun.”
Janie didn’t answer; she was too busy arguing with herself. He held her heart like a yo-yo in his hands, and when he was near, she soared, but when he left … it was a long drop. Before she could make her mind up, Jaxon took her hand. “Come on, gorgeous. Let’s go find my little mama something to wear.”
As she followed him out and he held the car door, she realized that when it came to Jaxon Davis, she never really had a choice. She’d always love him—even if it meant loving him on her own.
Chapter 13
“Can I get you anything else?” Race asked Kyle as he took the empty yogurt container to throw away. Credits rolled up the screen while the theme song played, reminding Race of an eighties song from his mother’s favorite band.
“No, I’m fine, and would you sit down for more than a minute?”
“Yeah, let me take these into the kitchen and see if Brynna needs any help with dinner. I want to earn my keep.”
“Believe me, you’re better off to keep out. One chef in the kitchen is enough, especially a pregnant one.”
Race laughed. “Okay, I’ll be right back.”
Brynna was bent over, sliding a pan of salmon covered with lemons into the oven.
“That looks delicious,” Race said, dropping the spoon into the sink.
“I hope so,” Brynna said. “I’m afraid if I don’t find something Dad likes, he’s going to freak out on me.”
He could see the worry on her face, and for the first time he realized she must have carried a lot on her shoulders as the only girl in her family for all those years. He knew Jaxon and Brynna’s mother left when they were young; Janie told him Jaxon remembered her, but Brynna didn’t. Race didn’t know anything beyond that, and he wasn’t sure whether it was his place to ask, but something about Brynna’s expression made him think it would be okay.
“Brynna, can I ask you something?”
She closed the oven door and washed her hands under the faucet. “Sure. What’s up?” she asked, drying her hands.
“What happened between your mother and Kyle? Do you know if she knew about me?”
The color drained from her face, and she leaned against the counter, touching her stomach gently. “Oh, yeah, I guess you’d wonder about that.”
He worried he went too far. “If it’s too personal, tell me to mind my own business.”
“It’s not that,” she said, taking a seat at the table. “I’m not the person to ask, because I don’t really remember her. She left when I was four and Jaxon was six.”
“You don’t have any contact with her?”
“No. Dad said she used to call occasionally for the first year or so, but after that, we never heard from her.”
“I’m sorry,” Race said. He couldn’t imagine not having his mother in his life. She’d been his northern star.
“It’s fine. My grandma filled in where she could, and I don’t know …” She twisted her finger through one of her spiral curls. “I guess I didn’t know any different, so it didn’t seem to bother me as much as it should’ve. Not like it did Jaxon, and I haven’t asked Dad whether she knew about you or not.”
“Do you know what happened? I mean, why she left?”
Brynna bit her bottom lip and stared at the wall. “Dad said she never did like living here. This life isn’t for everyone, and I guess I could understand that, but what I don’t understand is how she could walk away from her children.” She placed a hand on her stomach. “I already love this little guy so much, and he’s not even here yet.”
“You’re having a boy?” Race asked.
Brynna’s face lit up. “Yes. We had the ultrasound last week.”
“That’s amazing.”
“Yeah. Layne’s so excited. He already went out and bought him a pair of boots.”
“Does Janie know the gender of her baby?” he asked. He told himself he was only interested because technically he would be an uncle, and not that he wanted to know everything about Janie.
“No. Her appointment is scheduled for next week, but she says she’s not going to find out.”
“That’s exciting.” Race took an apple from the bowl on the table, wondering if Janie’s decision had anything to do with Jaxon. “I guess I better get back in there. I told Kyle I’d watch some TV with him,” he said, hoping to take his mind off Janie.
“Okay,” Brynna said. “Dinner will be ready in about forty-five minutes.”
He turned around, but paused at Brynna’s request.
“Race, I’m glad you’re here, and that my baby will have another uncle.”
He smiled. “Me too.”
She walked over and gave him a hug. “And don’t be too hard on Jaxon. I know he can be a pain, but I think Mom leaving really messed him up as a kid, and I think in some way, he’s jealous that you’ve always had one.”
The thought never occurred to him; he was the one who grew up without knowing their father. Maybe he’d been too caught up in his own feelings of abandonment to recognize someone else’s. “Don’t worry. I think I’m starting to rub off on him.”
Brynna raised her eyebrows.
“Really,” Race said. “He showed me around the ranch, and it didn’t end in a fistfight, so I’d consider that progress.”
“With Jaxon,” Brynna said, “you take what you can get.”
* * *
Jaxon kept a light boot on the pedal. He was in no hurry. Janie sat in the passenger seat with the sunroof of Jaxon’s new truck open, and the natural light illuminated her olive complexion. Her dark hair piled on her head made him think of the little girl he used to torment. He didn’t need to see her blue eyes hidden behind a cheap pair of sunglasses to know the cloudless sky paled in comparison, or that her tinted pink lips tasted like strawberry.
