Cruiser

by Dee J. Stone

  “I’m here to get my party on!” Rey yells, like I’m standing five hundred feet away from him. “Yo yo, Timothy! Don’t you touch that vodka!”

  “Vodka? Rey, you need to get the hell out of there.”

  “Wha? This place rocks, man! Why didn’t you ever bring me here?”

  Because you’re Rey. You spend your time doing things a future successful person is supposed to do. Like studying, doing extracurricular activities that will look awesome on your college applications, being there for your parents and obeying their wishes. A guy like you is not supposed to go to a party at Mark Wolf’s.

  “I’m coming to get you,” I tell him. “Wait for me, okay? And don’t drink any more alcohol, or jump into pools, or touch any drugs.”

  I hang up and look at Lex through the window. She’s staring at the spot in front of her, fingers wringing the phone.

  I call her. She answers after the first ring.

  “Cruiser?” Her voice is full of hope. Fear. Worry. My hands ball into fists. My body convulses with anger.

  He doesn’t deserve her.

  You don’t deserve her.

  He does deserve her, you selfish bastard. You know he does.

  “He’s okay. At a party. I’m going to pick him up right now.”

  “A party?” Her voice is an octave higher. “Rey doesn’t go to parties.”

  “He’s perfectly a-okay.” I’m surprised at how the lie comes out so naturally. I never could lie to her when we were kids. “I guess he just needed a change of scenery.”

  “Because of me.” Her voice is so low, I would have missed it if I weren’t drinking every one of her words like they’re holy water. Her head is lowered and her stuffed animal is swallowed by her body. “Because of our fight. Because I’m so…” Tears soak up her words.

  “Don’t sweat it, Lex,” I say softly. “I’m going to get him, and he’ll be okay. Sit tight. I’ll call ya later with an update.”

  A few sniffs. Then, “Okay. I, uh…Cruiser?”

  An invisible claw clamps around my heart and tugs. “Yeah?”

  “I…thanks.”

  She hangs up. I lower the phone from my ear. Don’t realize I have it pressed against my chest—my heart. Lex and I just had the longest conversation we had in quite a while.

  A conversation that involved Rey. No, not involved. A conversation that was all Rey.

  She gets up from her bed. Treks over to the window. I don’t want her to see me standing here. I return to my room and pull on that wrinkled shirt from the floor. I reek from my workout. Well, screw that.

  I sprint down the stairs, past the parents, ignoring their, “Where are you off to now, Elvis?” and grab my bike. Ride to Wolf’s house. I know the address like my own.

  I park in the front yard. Barge into the house. Blasting music, crowded rooms, couples’ mouths glued together, a mess on the floor. Looks like a tornado swept through here. Smells like beer and pot. And sweat. Maybe that’s from me, though.

  “Rey!” I call out. “Rey Dalton!”

  I ask around, “Have any of you seen Rey Dalton?” They look at me like I have antennae coming out of my head. Or like I’m some freaked-out parent looking for his kid. For a second, I feel like a freaked-out parent looking for his kid.

  Some ignore me. Some flip me off. One guy staggers over and nearly hurls on my boots. A girl tries to pull me into an empty bedroom.

  Work, twin telepathy. Tell me where my brother is.

  Three minutes later, I find Rey lounging on a pool chair, liquor in hand, watching a group of kids dancing and singing in the pool. Puke floats in there. Almost makes the burger I had for dinner climb its way out.

  “Come on, Rey.” I snatch the bottle out of his hand and toss it into the pool.

  “Cruise! Pull up a chair. Grab some beer. Get your groove on.” His vest’s hanging off his left arm. His white shirt’s stained with alcohol. The first three buttons are gone.

  “We’re going. Now.”

  “Awww, Cruise.”

  I draw his arm over my right shoulder and wrap mine around his waist. Haul him to his feet. Half carry him outside. He talks—incoherently. His breath reeks.

  I find his car parked down the block, reach into his pocket, and fish for his keys. Lay him in the back seat. I’ll have to come back for my bike tomorrow.

  “Why did you do this?” I ask once we’re on the road. “Why would you go to a party at Wolf’s, Rey? Is this because of Lex? What happened between you guys?”

  I look through the rearview mirror. Can’t see his face because he’s lying across the seat.

  “Too much pres—ure, Cruise. ‘Bout time I had some fun around here,” he says.

  “I agree. But you should have told me where you were going and talked to me about the fight you had with Lex.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I would have helped you. Would have helped you figure out how to handle the stress and blow off some steam. Maybe one bottle of beer. Maybe a shot of vodka. You could have really fucked up.”

  He’s singing some lame song he loved when we were kids.

  “Tell me what you and Lex argued about.”

  He continues to howl at the top of his lungs. Dammit.

  I reach the house and pull into the driveway. My eyes catch sight of something. Lex running down her front steps. Robe thrown over her pajamas, blowing in the wind. I can see the little duck designs of her shirt underneath. I look away.

  “Rey?” She stops before the car. Eyes circle the back of it. “Is he okay?” she asks me.

  I cut the engine and haul Rey out. Sit him down on the ground. Lex rushes over and flings her arms around him. “I’m so sorry about our fight.”

  I motion with my hands for her to keep her voice down so the parents won’t hear.

  Rey pulls Lex’s arms off him with a groan and shuffles a few feet away. Lex bites down on her bottom lip. I can see the tears welling in her eyes.

  I look away.

  “How drunk is he?” she asks.

  “Not drunk,” Rey mutters.

  “Not that much,” I lie. “It’s his first time, so yeah.”

  “Rey?” She tries to wrap her arms around him again, but he pushes her away like a little kid. “I’m so, so sorry. So sorry.”

  “We need a plan,” I tell them. “The parents will soon start to wonder where Rey is.” If they see him like this…it’s off to Cayton’s with me.

  Rey starts howling the song again.

  I slam my hand over his mouth. “Will you shut up? They’ll hear you.”

  Think, think.

  “I got it.” I dig into Rey’s jeans pocket for his cell, walk a few feet away from my house, and call home. Mom picks up on the second ring.

  “Mom,” I say, trying to make my voice sound sweet and respectful. Like Rey.

  “Yeah, Rey honey?”

  I clear my throat. “I’m with…” Damn, what’s Rey’s best friend called? “…Derek. We’re working on some…homework. I’m going to come home late, so you and Dad shouldn’t wait up for me, okay?”

  “Are you sure you have to stay there so late?” Her tone is sickening. She’s talking to me like I’m a little prince.

  I clear my throat again. “Uh, yeah. It’s kind of important. So you guys go to bed, okay? Good night.”

  “Okay, honey. Good night. I love you.”

  I clench my teeth. “Yeah, love you, too.” I slam the phone shut and head back to Lex and Rey. She’s got him in her arms. His head’s resting on her shoulder while she stares down at him with love in her eyes. Shadowed with a little guilt.

  I get a trashcan and place it before Rey. He moans. “Puke in here, kid,” I tell him. I head to the door. Turn to Lex. “I gotta go inside and see when my parents go to bed. You mind staying here with him?”

  Lex shakes her head, running her hand over his face. No window faces the driveway. They should be okay sitting there.

  “Right. So…later.” I walk into my house. Parents have j
ust shut the TV and are off to bed. I sprint up the stairs before they can bombard me with some new crap.

  I lie on my bed. Strain my ears to hear any movement in their bedroom. I hope they go to sleep right away. Any slight sound jars Mom from her sleep. Getting Rey up there will be a bitch.

  Half an hour passes. I haven’t heard a single sound for a while. Mom might wake up soon and check on Rey. She’ll piss herself if she doesn’t find him in his bed.

  It’s now or never.

  I run out. Rey’s trashcan isn’t empty. Looks like he might puke over Lex. She doesn’t push him away.

  She really does love him.

  Got to forget about that now.

  I wrap an arm around my brother and haul him over my shoulder. “We got to go in now,” I tell Lex. Rey moans. I hope the sounds don’t wake up the parents.

  I drag him up the stairs as fast as I can with one hundred and fifty pounds of meat on me. Lex follows close behind.

  “Rey? Is that you?” Mom calls from her room.

  Damn. My legs turn to cement on the steps. I clear my throat. “Yeah, Mom, it’s me. Just got back. Have a good night and I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “All right, honey. Good night.”

  I drop Rey on his bed. Pull his shoes off and place the small garbage bin next to him.

  “Puke in here,” I say.

  He moans.

  “I’m locking your door for now so Mom doesn’t come in. I got a spare key, so I’ll come to check on you soon. Remember, puke in the bin.”

  I close the door, and Lex and I go outside. She rubs her upper arms. “Do you think he’ll be okay?”

  Shrugging, I say, “He’ll have a hangover tomorrow. But he’ll be all right.”

  “Crap. I didn’t mean to…”

  “What happened, Lex?”

  She shakes her head. “Nothing. I…” She looks away from me.

  I reach toward her. “Lex.”

  She steps back. “I’ll…I’ll see you.”

  My arm falls to my side. “Yeah.”

  She opens her mouth. Rests her tongue to her upper teeth like she’s about to say thank you.

  But she turns around and marches to her house.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Lex

  The chicken I had for lunch churns in my stomach. I get up from my bed and slouch to the window, pushing the curtain aside. Rey’s shade is firmly shut. Digging my phone out of my pocket, I check the screen. No new messages. I bite down on my lower lip.

  Rey and I haven’t spoken for two days. I thought we would make up by now, but Rey avoids me at school. He’s shutting me out of his life.

  My fingers close over my phone. My thumb stretches downward to call him. Maybe he’s waiting for me to make the first move. But what if he doesn’t want to make up? Are we over?

  The events of that night dance through my head. I can’t believe I asked Cruiser for help. Hearing his voice over the phone was so foreign. Talking to him—really talking—felt foreign, too. We did it a lot when we were kids. Sure he always squirmed or ran away from me when I insisted he talk about his feelings, but we talked. About everything. That was before, when we were still innocent and sweet, and when our lives weren’t so messed up. When Cruiser and I still had a chance.

  I shake my head. Forget about that, forget about him. What I really need is a plan, some way to get Rey back. I know we can make our relationship work. We love each other.

  A soft rap on my door pulls me out of my whirlwind thoughts. I glance up just as the door opens a crack and a head peeks in. Rey.

  He pushes the door another inch wider and looks at me, his Adam’s apple bobbing as a swallow makes its way down. My breath catches in my throat.

  The floor creaks under his weight. He widens the door a little more, revealing his entire body. His brown eyes don’t leave my face, and mine don’t leave his. I can see every single one of his emotions glimmering like a neon sign. Guilt, regret, happiness, hope.

  We stare at each other for what feels like hours. Then he takes a step forward and I take a step forward and soon I’m in his arms and we crash down on my bed and he clutches me to his chest. “So sorry,” he says over and over again. “I miss you so much. I didn’t mean to make you feel unimportant. I’m just so stressed, and I don’t know how to balance everything in my life. I love you. I really do. Please forgive me.”

  My hands snake up around his neck and pull him close, my lips seeking out his mouth. “Of course I forgive you. And I’m sorry, too, and I love you.”

  He looks down at me. “What are you sorry for? Our fight was my fault. I wasn’t there for you. I was selfish and—”

  I put my finger on his lips. “I’m sorry for only thinking about my needs, for putting myself between you and your activities. I’m sorry things have been strained between us.”

  I’m sorry I feel an unwanted attraction to your twin brother.

  But I’m going to fight that until it blows over. I love Rey, and I really want to be with him. Screw Cruiser and my stupid memories of him.

  “I promise to make more time for you.” Rey nuzzles my nose. “For us.” He rests his forehead on mine. “I hated being in a fight with you. Not speaking to you. I wanted to call you, but I was so embarrassed. I thought you were disgusted with me and hated me.”

  “No, never. I thought you hated me.”

  “I love you,” he says.

  “I love you, too.”

  We kiss more, like we’re wiping away all the hurt from the past two days. His arms tighten around me as though he never wants to let go. And I hold onto him, never wanting to let him go.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Cruiser

  I park Dad’s old pick-up truck in the lot and climb out, slamming the door shut. I pull out my surfboard and tuck it under my arm. The waves are killer today, high as towers. I peel off my shirt and throw it in the back of the truck. Get into my wetsuit. Then jog out to the beach.

  Trudging through the sand, I come to a stop as the cool, salty wind beats against my face. Standing there for a bit, closing my eyes, I’m at peace. Away from the parents. From school. From Lex and Rey.

  They made up.

  Yeah, bro was so excited when he came back from her place an hour ago. Couldn’t sit still for one minute, like that lame toy monkey someone gave him for his seventh birthday. You wind it up and the monkey starts running around and bumping into things. That was Rey.

  I should be happy. My brother made up with his girlfriend. There should be fireworks in the sky. The government should call a national holiday. Wars should be suspended and sick people should have a miraculous recovery. Because Rey Dalton made up with Lex Woods.

  Man. I need a girl.

  Checking out the girls on the beach, I see Dani Russo lounging on a chair. Her right foot is crossed over her left, bouncing up and down. A People magazine lies opened on her thighs.

  My eyes search for her best friend. Don’t know why I assume she’s here. The girls aren’t Siamese twins. Guess I’m hoping—for what, exactly? That Lex would see me in my suit and surfboard and let me gather her in my arms? Not the way she looked at Rey Monday night…not the way Rey described how happy she was when they made up. Damn, why can’t I just forget her?

  Ah, who am I kidding?

  I walk over to where Dani’s lying and press my surfboard onto her stomach. She jumps to a sitting position. Looks up at me. “Oh my God.” She thrusts my surfboard off her body. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

  I steal a chair from the couple nearby who went for a dip, and pull it up near her. Plop down and cross my ankles. “Whatup?” I haven’t talked to her much since my return. We were never exactly friends.

  She returns her attention to her magazine.

  “Where’s Lex?” I ask before I can stop myself.

  She looks up. Raises an eyebrow. “Why do you ask?”

  Yeah, good question. I shrug. “You two are always together.”

  She goes back t
o her magazine.

  I drum my fingers on the armrest. I should scout the area for a girl. It’s the only way to forget about Lex—for a few hours at least. Sitting next to her best friend doesn’t help squat.

  I’m about to get up, but she says, “Why did you come back?”

  I flop back on the chair. Stare at her. “Why are you asking me that?”

  She snaps the magazine shut and looks out toward the ocean. At a group of tourists who are fussing over their camera that must have fallen into the ocean. “You don’t know how much you hurt Lex.” Her gaze flashes to mine. “Why are you back?”

  My heart starts to drip blood as I hear the words that have been haunting me since the day I stepped foot in New York. As I tossed and turned in bed, staring at the ceiling. Cursing myself for doing what I did. Now that Dani said them straight out, it makes it no longer in my head but out here in the open.

  My palms close over the edges of the chair. “I was messed up after the accident,” I mumble.

  “And Lex wasn’t?”

  I shut my eyes as Lex’s teary face flickers in my mind. My heart’s oozing blood now.

  “Why did you sleep around?” Dani demands. “It killed her. Do you know how she felt about you?”

  My eyes are still closed. I want to tell Dani to stop putting the blame on me. Lex was the one who pushed me away. Did she have any idea how I felt about her? How I still do?

  “I don’t want to talk about the past,” I say, opening my eyes and staring at the ocean.

  “She was fine,” Dani says. “She was doing great. Getting over all that’s happened. Then you show up and shake everything.”

  I want to tune her words out. To not believe what she’s saying. I want her to tell me that Lex’s been a mess since I left, that she missed me. Yearned for me every day. Wished for the day I’d return. Just as I have.

  “Then you start sleeping around again.” She snorts. “Why did you come back?”

  “I didn’t know she was with Rey,” I snap before I can stop myself.

  Dani’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

  “I came back hoping for…” I shrug because I don’t know what I was hoping for. “Then I see her with Rey.” Tears gather in my eyes. “Fuck.”