Angel Falls

by Michael Paul Gonzalez

  “You want to tell me what this is about?”

  “I don’t know!” he yelped. “A minute ago I wanted to yank your head from your shoulders and drink your blood.”

  “And now?”

  “I still don’t like you.”

  His sword sat on the ground, a thin river of pulsing darkness flowing across the blade. I touched a finger to the hilt, and was overcome with pain. Worse yet, I was assailed with mental images of how to make the pain stop. All I had to do was to lift it and plunge it into myself. A voice sang from the blade into my ear.

  Once in the gut, once across the throat, one for each wrist. Bleed and release the pain, bleed…ours ours ours It took all I had to convince myself not to grasp the hilt and obey the command. I forced myself to fall back out of reach of the blade, tears streaming from my eyes.

  “Who gave this to you?” I asked Goliath.

  “It’s mine. Always has been, you know that. Well, there were them guys over at the traveling carnival, gave me the clean and polish.”

  “What traveling carnival?”

  “It was there on the road back from the North End. It was like a puppet show thing in a fancy tent with a buncha shiny crap for sale.”

  “Who were these gents?”

  “Couple of guys offered to clean Hellsinger up.” He glanced at his beloved blade.

  “What did they look like?”

  “One was a scraggly little runt, all cock-eyed, with a wiry beard and a little tattoo ’tween his eyes.”

  “And the other, was he a fat, bookish type? Clean cut, a little too shifty and nervous?”

  “Yeah.”

  Goliath rose slowly to his feet.

  “Oh my God!” the angel’s gasp stopped him dead in his tracks. “Thank you for not sitting on me anymore, and would you please consider taking a shower? You smell like the – OH MY GOD!” His body was still loose and doughy, splayed across the steps of my ravaged abode, fifteen feet away from his head. He’d just seen what was left of himself. “What did you do to me? What did you do?”

  How to play this one off? “Well, actually, Goliath did the cutting.”

  The angel screamed and his head began to roll towards us. “Neat trick! How’d you do that?”

  “Nrr mnnd!”

  “You shouldn’t talk with your mouth in the dirt like that.”

  I jogged over and lifted him by his hair. This brought forth a new round of screaming and cursing and diatribes about the strength of his hair and how I was going to ruin his roots, so I set him gently back on the ground, right side up.

  “I’ve lost my head!”

  “Hey, he was the one that hid under you!” Goliath jabbed a finger in my direction.

  “I’m talking to him, you idiot!” “Then why are you looking at me ?”

  “Because I have…no…neck! How am I supposed to turn and—Gah! Never mind!”

  The angel was quite red at this point. I strolled towards his body and hefted it in front of me. “Honestly, I think you’re better off without this.” I dumped his remains at his feet.er, stump. This didn’t calm him nearly as much as I hoped it would, which is to say, he grew several shades redder.

  “Better off? I’d be better off if I hadn’t met you! I tried to find you so I could tell you what was coming, but you were more interested in pancakes and coffee!”

  “You know what? I’m a busy guy! Okay? I can’t be bothered to remember every little detail that people throw at me. You think you’re the only people who want to involve me in a quest in some way? Do you know who I am?”

  “Man, I’m hungry,” Goliath rumbled.

  “Do I know who you are? What about me? I am the one foretold to you in a vision, and here you’ve already ruined everything! We were supposed to save Creation! You think you’ve had a hard time of things? I was walking with my beloved in the Gardens of Heaven just last night, and I was dragged down here. I don’t know how or why—”

  Which meant that this was…

  “Wait. You’re Lenny?”

  “DUH!” he shouted, using his angel voice. The insult echoed down the street like a coyote’s cry down a hollow canyon.

  Chapter Four

  I honestly feel there is nothing in this world, no problem in all of Creation, that can’t be worked out over a stack of pancakes. We three must have been quite a sight, dragging ourselves back into the Garden of Eatin’. We were crammed into a horseshoe corner booth near the kitchen, with Goliath taking up most of the seat. Lenny’s head was on the seat next to me, covered by my coat. We hadn’t spoken a word since leaving the scene of the brawl.

  For his part, Goliath appeared to be on very friendly terms with the waitress, as he’d already been served two plates of midnight breakfast, replete with eggs, sausage, ham, manna cakes, honeyed biscuits, coffee, juice, and a few apples. This all came to him in two rounds before I was even acknowledged or handed a menu. I think that’s why I liked the place so much. I felt…regular here. I knew I was hated in many places for things I had and hadn’t done. But here, I knew exactly what it was. My patronage was as much torture for the waitress as was her service to me.

  Tonight, however, bigger things were afoot, and I had no time for friendly games. I tried to catch her attention again as she passed by with a juice refill for Goliath.

  “Miss? Could I just…?”

  But she was on her way to the next table. I stood and cleared my throat. She continued to take the next table’s order, paying me no mind. I waited until she took a step away and grabbed her arm.

  “Eve,” I whispered in her ear.

  “You don’t use my— that name in here, got it?”

  “I need some food. Quickly. Miss. Then I’ll get out of here.”

  “You always say that, and then you never do.”

  “This is a matter of universal importance!”

  “You always always say that. Remember how many months it took me to clean up after your matter of universal importance with the midget nuns?”

  “Those were rabid penguins. Very devout, very—”

  “I know what I saw. I’ve had a long day, and I’ve had enough of you for a while.”

  “Just give me some manna cakes, and you won’t see me again for a month, I promise. You may not see me ever again if things don’t go well.”

  “I should be so lucky.”

  “If things don’t go well, you won’t be around either.”

  She lowered her order pad, tapped her pen against her teeth. “Something I need to know about?”

  “Just the end of the world again, toots. Now, please, be a doll, and feed me so I can get on the road?”

  Without a glance, I strolled back to my table and sat. My seat was a bit warmer than I expected.

  “These are great ,” Goliath huffed between bites, motioning at Lenny with his fork. “I fed him a couple o’ cakes earlier. I think he’s leaking.”

  I set Lenny’s head in the center of the table.

  “Lenny, am I sitting in your partially chewed manna cakes?”

  “Serves you right,” Lenny said. “You’re lucky my brains haven’t leaked out yet.”

  “Food’s on the way. Let’s put our heads together – no offense Lenny – and figure out what’s happening here. There’s a good chance that I could die in the next few days.”

  At this, Goliath dropped his fork. His mouth hung open, applesauce dripping from the corners. “No!” he shouted.

  “You were trying to kill him yourself a few minutes ago,” Lenny said.

  “Well, that was different, wunnit?” Goliath asked. “Someone was making me.”

  “There’s only a few people I trust around these parts,” I said. Goliath’s chest puffed out at this perceived compliment.

  “Unfortunately, right now I can’t reach any of them, so I’ll have to work with what I’ve got. Why don’t you tell me what you know, and I’ll try to fill in the gaps.”

  “Ooh!” Goliath shouted, “My sword was cursed tonight! Probably by those guys i
n the—”

  “Traveling carnival. Yes. And now we know everything Goliath knows. Thanks, G.” I patted his shoulder.

  Goliath beamed, as he retrieved his fork from the floor. He assaulted his midnight feast.

  “Lenny, tell me what you know.”

  Lenny tried to turn his head, but only succeeded in rolling his eyes away from me. “You expect me to help you after this?” He paused for effect, his eyes growing wider.

  “Are you trying to gesture?” I asked.

  “YES! But I have no hands, do I? Or arms? And whose fault is that?”

  “It’s the End of Times. It’s happened before, and it’ll happen again. The catch is, it’s never happened on my watch. I’ve got a few things I’d like to accomplish, so I think we need to hold off on Armageddon.” This didn’t seem to be motivating him. “I can get your body back, Lenny.”

  “Oh, this from the Father of Lies?”

  “There’s no need to go throwing names around, especially meaningless taunts made up by twelve drunken Jews after their main man passed over. I have feelings too, you know.”

  “Blasphemer!”

  I’d dealt with Lenny’s type before. He was holding out for something, I just needed to figure out what. “Why did you send a messenger for me tonight?”

  Lenny’s upper lip quivered for a second. His eyes danced around the restaurant, out the window, back again. I don’t think he even heard me. “We should get out of here. There are people trying to kill us.”

  “I already got the warning about the Brothers.”

  “Not them. Somebody else. When I passed through, I heard voices.” Lenny looked uncomfortable. “The Mirror of Smoke. The Obsidian Knife. They’re ancient artifacts. That’s all I know. Someone told me you specialized in the Ancients.”

  “I’ve been out of acquisitions for a while now. My Rolodex is dusty. If you don’t know what they are , how do you know about them?”

  “It all happened when I got pulled through. It starts with the girl. You see, someone has stolen thirteen—”

  “I know.”

  “She’s been imbued with a great power that I don’t think she even knows about. Someone found a way to draw power from a Heavenly Host. When they pulled the energy down here, I came with it. When I started to go, I could hear a voice. I was with Phaleg, and as I started to fade, I saw rings of light surrounding me, pillars of smoke. And I heard a whisper, a rumble. A repetition of those phrases. ‘The Mirror of Smoke’. ‘The Obsidian Knife’. Another word… yay…yah… Yeotah—”

  “Yaotl?” I asked.

  “That’s it! What does it mean?”

  “I don’t know. Just heard it myself recently while one of my old friends was possessed.”

  “I heard snippets of a conversation. Where there was one voice, now there were three or four. From what I can tell, someone’s making a play to take over down here so they can assault Heaven.”

  “It isn’t the first time. I’ve put down plenty of rebellions in my day.”

  “And I helped!” Goliath shouted.

  “…and he helped.” I smiled at him and nodded. I turned my attention back to Lenny.

  “This seems like a concerted effort. When I landed, I was approached by two beings. I rolled over from where I’d slammed into the ground. I don’t know if I landed on them or if they somehow made the trip with me. They were talking to each other, saying something about their boss…or a higher being. My senses were scrambled, forgive me. Before I could speak, the larger of the two sprang to his feet and lifted me by the hair. He jabbed something into my back, then I felt another set of hands pulling at my hair. Tugging. Cutting. A knife twisting in my ribs. I screamed out, and there was a flash of light…my last bolt of Heavenly energy, I suppose. I went limp, and I think they believed me dead. They dropped me and ran.”

  “You didn’t get their names?” Goliath asked.

  “Did you smell anything?” I asked. “Anything like rot?” Lenny’s brow furrowed, which caused his head to shift minutely. “Now that you mention it, there was something. Bad apples. The only way I can describe it.”

  “The Brothers. But this all seems too well planned for them. You think that knife had something to do with your… squishiness? Did you feel anything leave your body? Did you see an orb nearby by chance? Dull grey or black?”

  “Nothing like that.”

  “Maybe they got it before you even knew.” Just another thing to add to the list of things that weren’t sitting quite right.

  “When I got my senses back, I started wandering. I made my way for the city center to find you. As I was walking near a subway tunnel entrance, a massive bolt of energy blew it up. The force of the explosion threw me across the street. I looked back, and I swear I saw something stalking me. So I ran. I ended up here at the restaurant.”

  “Safe ground. Malevolence can’t get through those doors. Evil can’t eat here.”

  Goliath and Lenny stared at me.

  “It’s true! I’m not going to tell you how I know, but trust me. I built this place, that’s the only reason I’m allowed in. At any rate, as long as we’re in here, we’re safe. The problem, of course, is that we have to get out of here. I have to meet some people about anima crystals.”

  “Why would a mortal get the idea to steal other people’s anima crystals and make the journey?” Lenny asked.

  I couldn’t resist. “To get to the other side.”

  “And why, to the best of your knowledge, has nobody tried this before?” Lenny asked.

  “Because the desert is vast and ruthless. Because the sun beats down on you in the hardpan, and the frost breaks your bones on the tundra. Because most souls simply aren’t strong enough to make it, and rather than completing their journey, they rot in the wastes, dissolving away to nothing. And yet a teenage bimbo decides to give it a shot? She may be able to pass the tests, but the desert is still the desert, yes? She’s getting help from Cain and Abel.”

  “I don’t think so,” Lenny said. “I think she’s the one helping them, whether she knows it or not.”

  “Heavenly beings can’t make the Crossing. One of the drags of being Holy. You can only go where God tells you,” I said. “I’ve made the Crossing. And I know for a fact that I’ve been able to manifest on Earth at will.”

  “Well, you were tossed overboard,” Lenny said. “No choice in the matter. Michael had beaten you to a pulp before giving you the last heave-ho.”

  “Exaggeration!” I raised my knife.

  “They play the video every Friday night.”

  Okay. Fine, maybe he got the best of me. But, pulp? I beg to differ. I decided to let it slide.

  “So, you weren’t quite conscious when you made the fall,” Lenny continued. “The point is, it usually takes a massive amount of Holy Energy to cross over, and with the girl I think Cain and Abel have found a way to make the Crossing back into Heaven.”

  “And when they get there?”

  “That’s where my theories end,” Lenny muttered. “Even together they’re no match for The Boss.”

  “Is there anything else you heard as you crossed over here? Think!”

  “It was all a bunch of meaningless ritual talk. The Dawn of Shadows…something… The knife… Wait! The Old King. The Obsidian Knife. None can stand before the mirror of smoke. They talked about killing the Monarch of Indigo. I assumed that was you.”

  Oh God. The Monarch of Indigo. I tried to suppress a shudder at the thought of her. I’ve dated some crazy chicks in my time.

  “You don’t know either?”

  The Brothers happen into town around the same time as Lenny. Someone ransacks my place, brainwashes Goliath to kill me, some broad hatches a scheme to cheat on the Long Walk. Find the Brothers and their mystic knife and mirror, give them a good scolding, get my balls back and put things right. Time to make a plan.

  Lenny began to recite from the Angels’ Private Book of Revelation. “The Age of Creation will be forced to end. The Age of Destruction will
follow—”

  I raised my fork to cut him off. “Unless we find the One Ring or the magic sword and carry it to the dark castle and slay the dragon, or whatever. Right? Fine. Let’s do this.”

  Easier said than done. I was vulnerable. Mortal. Sub-mortal even. I leaned over the table in what I hoped was a dramatic fashion, positioning Lenny’s head so that he could see Goliath and I. “It’s us against the world. Me, the Strongman, and the…uh, Head. We’ve got to fuck those guys before they fuck us. Am I right?”

  “I thought you said we were gonna fight,” Goliath spewed through his scrambled eggs. “I don’t do that Greek stuff.”

  As I tried to construct a reply to the giant, a shadow loomed over the table. The waitress. “Oh, you’re too slow, miss. Late service, no tip. Should have tried harder.”

  Eve chewed the tip of her pen and looked over her shoulder. “I want in.”

  “In on what?”

  “I heard everything you’ve been talking about.”

  I stood up fully and turned Eve away from the group. “I don’t think you want to reveal yourself to these fellows, Eve. Especially Goliath, he talks in his sleep,” I whispered in her ear.

  “I want out of here,” she said, a bit too loudly for my taste. “We have a deal!”

  “We had a deal,” I growled between my teeth, “but this is different. Besides, how can you help me?”

  Eve rested her hands on her hips. “Let’s see. You’re out to save the world, and you’ve got you , an idiot giant, and a head. Between the three of you, you have no idea where to start looking.”

  “I need a woman on this trip like I need my liver torn out.”

  “You certainly do.”

  I tried my best to shoo her away, but she gave Goliath a stern look and elbowed her way further into the booth.

  “Uh-oh, looks like a lover ’s spat,” Lenny said. “Can I have some more juice?” Goliath asked. “Will you please leave?” I asked.

  Eve answered us all at once. “No.” She tossed her order book down and undid her hair. A faint smell of pears and flowers wafted across the table.

  Here’s the thing about Eve: