Angel Falls
Page 25
“I’m sorry,” I told her.
Before she could ask why, she faded out of Heaven, leaving Adam to stare at the empty space in front of him. He looked towards the Old Man dumbly, rising to his feet. Tears rimmed the edges of his eyes, and the Old Man folded his arms around his mortal son, embracing him.
“I’ll find her,” I told Him.
“I have no doubt you’ll try,” He said, “But no good will come of the effort. Let’s talk of your purpose now.”
I was already walking away. My purpose was mine and mine alone to determine.
“If you say so!” He called out.
I hated when He read my thoughts.
“I can’t help it,” He chuckled.
I wouldn’t give Him the satisfaction of turning around.
I had to get home and raise Hell.
Epilogue
The corner booth at the Garden of Eatin’ wasn’t the same without Eve’s surly presence on the floor. Monkey and I had long since eaten our fill, but Goliath continued to plow through plate after plate of manna cakes.
“Did I ever tell you guys about the time I killed an ancient Aztec god?” Monkey asked.
“You?! If I recall, I cut my own heart out to stop his from beating,” I said.
“Yeah, but who was the one that ripped it out?”
“I only wish those two pansies and the girl hadn’t run away,” Goliath said, “I gotta settle their hash.”
“That was pretty smart of you to kill Abel though,” Monkey said. “Passing his curse on to you so you could keep living. Using that brain just like Hecate predicted!”
“I just wanted to stab him. A lot. And the first thing I could find was his face. And I stabbed it.”
“A lot.” I agreed.
“I stabbed it so much,” Goliath repeated, slowly knifing his stack of manna cakes into a pulpy mess.
The first telltale marks of the Hellbound Heart were beginning to show, the skin of his chest darkening and starting to char and flake away. Within a month, his chest would be that same hollow cage of flames.
“I miss her,” Goliath said. “She saved my life.”
“She saved everything,” I added.
We finished our meal amidst jokes and silences and somehow managed to retell our recent epic to a group of new arrivals who were already on their way out of town for the Long Walk.
* * *
That night, for the first time in eons, I dreamed. I saw her alone in a strange city, living on the streets, a small infant swaddled in her arms. She was cold, desperate, and alone.
The dreams came to me nightly. The clock was ticking now. End of the world, this time on God’s terms. Something else bothered me. Goliath mentioned the Brothers slipping away from the battle. And they never died, not really. They had to have gone home to Earth. Out there, in some nameless city, licking their wounds. That wouldn’t last long. First would come healing. Then anger. Then revenge.
I needed to find her. Damn Heaven. Damn the Old Man. Damn my own hide.
Love is Hell.
Endnotes
1 Hint: Me . And on that note, every once in a while I’ll have some extra things I want to tell you. Grab another bookmark and put it back here, let’s make things easy. And don’t skim ahead. I’m watching you. [back]
2 Contrary to popular belief, Cats has never played down here – this might be eternity, but I have to live here too. [back]
3 By the by, Sam was a great guy, and I wish he had never taken the walk. He got through the desert in a record seven days – seven! – and I asked him what his secret was. Told me he was preparing for it his whole life. Nothing surprised him here. Then with a wink and a nod, off he went into the Great Whatever. [back]
4 Hint: They’re all wrong. [back]
5 Technically, I have to. Rules, rules, rules… [back]
6 I should point out that this being in front of me was not, in fact, the real angel Phaleg. Remember, I rule the ground where angels fear to tread. That does not stop them from manifesting themselves into my denizens on occasion to deliver a message. The messenger usually becomes engulfed in Holy Fire, and may sometimes sprout wings or a halo, find themselves holding a golden horn, you name it. It’s best to speak to them as if they are the true being, because, well…they pretty much are for those moments. [back]
7 I know, that makes us all sound gay, doesn’t it? Well, we’re not. Forget the stories you’ve heard. There are female angels, male angels, we’re not gender neutral. We all have genitalia. Big, Heaven-created, perfect, throbbing…well, anyway. You get the point. Your candles can’t hold a wick to ours. Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings. But every time a trumpet blows… well, I don’t want to spoil any surprises. You’ll see when you get here. [back]
8 Angels fuck things up on Earth on such a routine basis that the phrase “we saved as many souls as we could” has become a bit of an in-joke. [back]
9 Which, I know, is not a question. Thank you. And He did, of course, see it coming. He always does. [back]
10 And for the record, regardless of what you read in magazines and hear in songs, this is the one and only time I’ve had direct physical contact with the living while they were, well, living . [back]
11 They’re a gift I gave myself – whole ‘nother story, but the original owner didn’t deserve to keep them. [back]
12 Whatever you’re thinking, it’s wrong. And PS, you’re a sicko. [back]
13 Yes, that’s right, even the smell was warm and fluffy. [back]
14 Goliath spent a lot of time in Palookaville, where all of history’s greatest fighters tend to hang out. He’d picked up a strange stew of accents, part Philistine, part Yorkshire, part old American east coast. You couldn’t place the accent, but the basso rumble that carried it made you worry about more pressing matters, like if you’d still have your teeth when the conversation was done. [back]
15 And they call me the cruel one! [back]
16 I actually suggested such a land bridge during Earth’s construction phase, but was resoundingly shouted down by the others on the planning committee. They said building such a thing could lead to jealousy and war when cultures from frigid climates found a warm tropical paradise. Good thing we didn’t go down that road, huh? [back]
17 Ever driven through Kansas? You know that endless flat landscape? The monotony of grass and sky? It was all my doing! HA! [back]
18 Also, apparently known as The Monarch of Indigo, La Dee Da and thank you very much. Why must everyone go Hollywood? [back]
19 Hecate used to have two faces, one facing each direction of the crossroads. I helped expand her mind. Now she has as many personalities as the moon has phases. Light to dark, full to empty, warm to cold, you get the picture. [back]
20 There wasn’t much left of Lenny, but he was still imbued with angelic power. Think of this as a cosmic jumpstart. [back]
21 See Genesis 22: 1-14. You see what I mean when I say He’s got shitty people skills? I would have just had ol’ Abe sign a loyalty pledge or something. [back]
22 I probably should have done that the other way around. It had been a while since my last shower. [back]
23 And by mine I mean the hand that Lenny had borrowed from me. [back]
24 This was shaping up to be one of The Boss’s “Random Acts of Kindness via Proxy.” For all of you who argue that there is no God, or that he doesn’t answer prayers, He would argue that in this case, by getting Dolores off her couch, he was preventing an explosion and a resultant fire, and thereby saving the lives and property of everyone in the building. See? Sometimes, you don’t even have to pray, and we’re there, watching over you in a million different ways. And what thanks do we get? [back]
25 Really, I haven’t had to sleep since I landed here. It’s an odd experience, one which I may have to try again if there’s time… [back]
26 Oh, don’t give me that look. You’d rather she suffered an eon or two getting mangled by the Brink? And you think Pete was going to let her pa
st the Gates? Sometimes doing the right thing means being cruel. [back]
27 Yes, there are now jam bands in Hell. I’ll let you decide if that’s a good or bad thing. [back]
28 Pronounced Coo-yawn , it roughly means “stupid.” [back]
29 Coo-shon du lay : A party or get together. [back]
30 Understand? [back]
31 Again, we’re dealing with Phaleg in the body of Samedi. That guy gets around, huh? [back]
32 Don’t even get me started on her. She was into some crazy shit. [back]
33 Alpha and Omega, really. Princess wasn’t interested in playing fetch. [back]
34 For every stupid rule that’s created by the “Master Craftsman” there’s always an even dumber technicality to sidestep it. You ever heard of the Shabbos Goy? Look that one up. Why does God even bother making rules? Why does nobody see that I’m the voice of reason? Why am I talking to you when I’m in mortal danger? [back]
35 We all know the kinds of jerks that live in gated commu- nities. [back]
36 Not the most romantic gesture, but it’s still pretty decent for a guy who’s a disembodied head walking on someone else’s hand. [back]
37 I know, I know, it sounds noble, like I’d developed some sort of caring for him. But my hand ! We worked so hard to get it here and now it was gone forever! This was worse than the time I loaned my guitar to Robert Johnson! [back]
38 I’m not a big fan of Deus ex Machina in stories, but in this case it appeared to be saving my ass. I’d roll with it. [back]
39 This is why I hate all of those nicknames you People give me. Prince of Lies. I mean, really, I should have seen this coming a mile away, shouldn’t I? [back]
40 As in the opposite of dark, not the opposite of heavy. [back]
41 Don’t look at me that way! [back]
42 God’s a sucker for these kind of reunions, and don’t let anyone tell you different. Heaven is full of pets. [back]