She smiled sadly. “Are you really upset with me?”
Dropping my hands into my lap, I sat up straight. “Yes. No. Crap. I don’t know. I want to be, but no. I’m not. I just feel a little betrayed, that’s all. I feel like you pimped me out. Not like you thought I’d be good for the company, more so for them specifically.”
“That’s not…” Kristen frowned. “I swear, that wasn’t my intention, Luce. I really did think you’d be great at the job. Which you are. But I can understand why you feel that way. I don’t blame you either. Looking back on it now, I could’ve handled it better. But honestly, I did it because I thought…” Kristen sighed. “I thought it would be good for you.”
“You thought it would be good for me to submit to four men?”
Her eyes widened.
Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t have told her that much.
The waitress chose that moment to saunter up, cheerfully asking for our food and drink order. We quickly rattled it off and when she was out of earshot, Kristen leaned in again.
“I did not know that all four of them would want to dominate you.”
“Well, they did.”
“And…?”
I shrugged. “And you were on the island. You can pretty much figure it out, right?”
“No. Hold on a minute. On the island and at TJ’s, I saw you with Landon and Langston. I didn’t know the five of you were playing together.”
“Well, technically, we’re not. We’re at an impasse at the moment.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means something happened and none of them seem to be happy about it. Ben and Justin are keeping themselves closed off. Landon’s being Landon, which I can’t figure out. And Langston…well, he’s the most forthcoming, but not in a good way. He seems to have taken charge, only to have backed off.”
The slow smile that pulled at Kristen’s mouth caught me off guard. “I probably should’ve known Langston would do that.” Her expression turned thoughtful. “Then again, I figured Landon would give him a run for his money. They usually co-top.”
“Yeah, well.” I dropped my gaze to my napkin in my lap. “It’s gotten complicated.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.”
Before I could process the words coming out of my mouth, I blurted, “What part do you play in this whole BDSM thing, anyway? If you’re a member of a club, then you’re into the lifestyle. And I saw you playing with your boyfriend. I assume this is a big part of your life?”
Kristen’s eyes slowly lifted to my face as though she was guarding her expression. “It is.” She seemed to consider me for a moment before she sat up straight. “Okay, yes. I’ll admit it. I’m into the lifestyle, probably more now than I used to be.”
“Do you know how much easier this would’ve been on me if you’d just told me that up front? I could have bombarded you with questions instead of fumbling around blindly trying to find my way.”
“I’m sorry, Luci. I really am. But if it’s any consolation, you were in good hands. I completely trust Landon and Langston.”
I did, too. Now.
Or I had.
Until yesterday afternoon.
But I wasn’t ready to think about that just yet. “I’ve read that some people only do this in the bedroom. Others live the lifestyle twenty-four seven. Which corner are you in?”
“They do. It varies, depending on the individuals. Tim and I don’t have a twenty-four-seven D/s relationship. However, we do actively engage in the community.”
From what I had gathered, Landon and Langston were looking for a full-time relationship on that level. I liked the idea because it offered me a sense of comfort that I hadn’t realized I’d been lacking in my life until they introduced me to it. Then again, Langston had been very up-front about the fact that he wasn’t looking for anything permanent with me. Landon, not so much.
“So, tell me why things are complicated. Aside from a little alpha posturing. Are you confused about what you want?”
I swallowed hard, considering what I should say. “I’m not confused,” I admitted. “But they seem to be. Because things have gone off track, they’ve given me three options.”
“And those are?”
“Take things back to the way they were in the beginning when we were just playing. The whole no-strings-attached thing. Or move in a new direction where I get to spend more time with each of them, as their part-time, temporary submissive.”
“And the last option?”
I couldn’t look at her. “Langston offered to be my master, but only temporary. Nothing serious. He specifically said he isn’t interested in collaring me. And he was finally forthcoming when he told me he was hoping I would reject that option.” I didn’t bother to tell her the last part came in a letter.
“What about Landon?”
I shrugged. That was the part that confused me the most.
Kristen took a sip of her water when the waitress delivered it. “Let me ask you this. Being a submissive…is it something you want? On a permanent basis?”
Before I could answer, the waitress delivered our salads. I took a moment to consider my answer while we both started eating. I could feel Kristen watching me, knew she was waiting for my response.
“Okay, fine,” I huffed, putting my fork down and looking her in the eyes. “Yes. It’s what I want. I’ve spent the past couple of months getting my feet wet, learning from them. It appeals to me on a fundamental level. Until recently, I hadn’t even known that type of…relationship, I guess you could call it…even existed.”
“First and foremost, do you understand the terms safe, sane, and consensual?”
I felt it was a little late for her to be asking that now, but I answered with a resounding yes, anyway.
“I know I thrust you into this world and it probably caught you a little off guard. I just want to make sure you’re going into this with your eyes wide open.”
I nodded. “I am. They’re not moving fast by any means. Not where play is concerned. I’ve even filled out a limits list. It took a while and Langston actually made me go over it twice. I had several options for each and I even asked for more information.”
“That sounds like a very good start.”
“Oh, there’s definitely no pressure. Not from them, anyway. I’m putting on myself more than anything. What progress I’ve made has been by my own choice. And what I’ve been hesitant to ask them, I’ve searched on the Internet.” I widened my eyes. “Did you know there’s a wealth of information regarding the various kinks involved?”
Kristen chuckled. “I did know that. And I’m glad to see you’ve done some research. I commend you for that, but I wish you would’ve called me. At the very least answered my calls.”
“I was too embarrassed. I didn’t want you to judge me.” My eyebrows darted down. “And in case you don’t recall, I wasn’t even aware that you were into the lifestyle until I saw you on the freaking island.”
I could tell Kristen truly felt bad for the way things were handled. And honestly, I wasn’t going to hold it against her. In fact, now that I knew, I could bounce questions off her.
“I’m gonna sound like a real buzzkill right now,” Kristen said, her expression serious. “However, it’s important to know that you have to protect yourself first. No matter how much fun you’re having, if you’re ever in a situation that doesn’t feel comfortable to you, remove yourself.”
“I have a safeword,” I admitted.
“Good. But that’s only helpful when you have a Dom who will concede should you use it. Landon and Langston are good guys. I trust them. But…should you end up playing with someone else, you have to think about your own safety. If you ever have any questions, I want you to call me, Luci. I’ll help you as much as I can. And if you ever simply want to talk, I’m here, too.” She smiled. “Plus, I’d be more than happy to introduce you to a few more people. Good people like Landon and Langston, who are also into the lifestyle.”
I rea
ched over and squeezed her arm. “Thank you so much. I really appreciate that, but it’s not necessary. I’m still trying to find my footing, but it’s been a great experience so far.”
Maybe not always rainbows and unicorns, but at the very least, it was an experience I knew I would never forget.
“However…” I offered a sinister grin. “I do have something that I need your help with.”
Twenty-Three
I WOKE UP EARLIER THAN usual on Thursday morning. I spent a little more time on my appearance, curling my hair and paying extra careful attention to my makeup. I donned a few pieces of my favorite jewelry, then put on the exact same outfit I’d worn on the first day they had introduced me to this new world of what I’d come to refer to as office intrigue. The off-white skirt, chocolate-brown sweater, and cowboy boots made me feel bold and I needed that today.
On the way into the office, I stopped at Starbucks and ordered coffee for myself and Jordan, then paid for the person behind me, wanting to give a little back today. Even with the detour, I arrived at the office at seven twenty. I went through and turned on all the lights, then unlocked all the doors after setting Jordan’s coffee on his desk. I grabbed a pen and drew a smiley face on a napkin and placed it beneath the cup. I wanted it to be there for him when he arrived.
I didn’t linger in the lobby. Instead, I went to my desk, got the coffee prepared to brew, but I didn’t start it. I figured I could do that as soon as Ben arrived so that it would be fresh for him. I then pulled up the calendar to see what was on the agenda for the day. I was surprised to see that all of the day’s meetings had been canceled. All except for one, the one scheduled for nine o’clock with all four of my bosses and me.
I felt better knowing that they were waiting for my decision.
Not wanting to dwell on it, I pulled up my email and started working from the bottom up. I had a lot more than usual because of my absence yesterday. There were a couple from various managers asking about the next quarterly meeting and wondering if it was possible to hold it somewhere other than the home office. I thought that was a great idea. It would give people a chance to mingle in a different city and for my bosses to visit the teams on their turf.
I jotted down a note to discuss it at the next Monday meeting.
When I finally got to a stopping point, I looked up to see that it was eight forty-five and no one had arrived. I tried not to let that bother me, deciding it was actually an opportunity. With that in mind, I chose to get the back conference room set up and ready for their arrival. Before I did that, I quickly called Jordan and informed him that we would all be in a meeting and to hold all the calls. I then grabbed the items I’d stashed in my purse, along with the items that were in my desk, shored up my nerve, and headed down the hall.
I knew this was a long shot, but I had to do it. For my peace of mind, if nothing else. No matter the outcome, I had decided that I wanted this to be on my terms. They’d placed the decision squarely in my hands and I knew exactly how I wanted this to go. Now I merely had to relay that to them in terms they would understand.
I quickly removed my clothes, placing them on the coffee counter, took the items I needed, and knelt on the floor near the small table, facing the door, paying close attention to positioning myself the way Kristen had helped me to perfect. My friend had been more than willing to give me a quick lesson in submission. Granted, her version of quick had taken three hours, but I was grateful for the wisdom she’d bestowed upon me. It allowed me to take this giant step forward with the confidence I needed.
Now, I just had to be patient.
•
When the conference room door opened a short time later, I didn’t budge from my position. I kept my eyes on the floor and waited patiently as the footsteps neared me.
Kristen had informed me that there was a certain protocol that would be adhered to by any Dominant who was willing to accept me. I hadn’t told her what my final decision was, so I wasn’t sure this would go exactly as planned, but I held out hope.
A few seconds later, Master’s shoes appeared in front of me. I felt his hand gently rest on the top of my head. I didn’t move, knowing that by remaining in position, I was not accepting his acknowledgement.
I was, but not entirely.
Silence surrounded me as I continued to kneel, my breath lodged painfully in my chest as I held my breath and waited.
Then it happened.
More shoes appeared and another hand touched my head, then another, and another. It wasn’t until all four were there that I breathed a sigh of relief. When they moved their hands, I grabbed the four items I’d brought with me and got to my feet. All four had accepted that I was their submissive. It wasn’t a formal process by any means; however, I knew that it meant something. For me to kneel and to wait for my Dom to acknowledge me would mean something to them, too.
I looked at each one of them, holding the items they had adorned me with originally. I turned to Ben first. “Master Snowden, I’m offering you these as your submissive.” I handed over the nipple clamps.
He took them, lightly brushing my fingers as he did. “Thank you, gumdrop.”
I turned to Landon. “Sir, I’m offering you this as your submissive.” I held out the butt plug. He took it from my hand, then leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips.
When he pulled back, he whispered, “Thank you, sweet girl.”
Justin was next. “Master Parker, I’m offering you this as your submissive.” I couldn’t help but smile as I looked into his eyes. “For the record, I absolutely despise the toy, but…for you, I’d do just about anything.”
Justin took the ball gag from my hand, rubbing the inside of my wrist with his thumb before pulling back. “Thank you, princess.”
I cupped the Venus Butterfly in my hand and held it out. This was the hardest one for me. Knowing that I was giving myself to a man who wasn’t willing to take all of me was difficult. “Master, I am offering you this as your submissive.”
His hands curled over and under mine, and for a second, I thought he was going to refuse me. My heart skipped a beat as I waited, silently praying he wouldn’t deny me. I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to handle his rejection.
“Thank you, pet,” he said softly, his voice raspy.
When he took the item from me, I stood up straight, placed my hands behind my back, then lowered my head. “I’m offering myself up to the four of you. Not only my body but also my trust, my will, and my submission.” I had opted to keep the L word out of it. Although, whether they wanted it or not, they also had my love.
I hadn’t come to the decision lightly and I think they knew that. I wasn’t looking for one of them to collar me as his own. This was still a new world for me, one that I wanted to explore in depth with each of them. By offering the gifts they’d bestowed upon me, I was giving that part of me back to them.
Kristen had assured me that, should they truly accept what I was offering, they would place the items on me. Something about a Dom knowing what their submissive needed. It wasn’t a guarantee, but I needed to know that they understood me the way I understood them. Submission was a precarious balance of give and take.
I waited, slightly awed by my own patience. In the coming weeks, I knew these men would teach me everything I needed to know about myself and that was what I was looking forward to most. Getting to know them and getting to know me.
If they accepted me, that was.
Several seconds later, Ben stepped forward, nipple clamps in his hands. He reached out and brushed my nipple with his finger. “I accept, gumdrop.”
I remained still while he teased my nipples into hard points, then prepared to place the clamps on. The brief fondling was more than enough to spike my arousal. The air rushed from my lungs, pain shooting through all nerve endings as he placed the clamps, then tightened them. Master Snowden then leaned in and kissed me. His lips were soft and warm, gentle yet demanding.
I waited until his hands fell to his sides
before saying, “Thank you, Master Snowden.”
Ben then stepped back and moved to his chair.
Master was the next to step forward, his hand curling behind my neck as he pulled me in for a kiss. I sighed against his mouth, welcoming his demanding tongue as he showed me with his lips and tongue how much he wanted me. While he positioned the butterfly vibrator over my clit and attached the straps, I focused on breathing.
“I accept, pet.”
“Thank you, Master.”
I inwardly smiled as Master took his seat.
Landon then stepped forward. I looked into his eyes as he brushed the backs of his fingers over my cheek. “I accept, sweet girl.” He leaned in, his mouth close to my ear. “And thank you.”
I swallowed hard. “It’s my pleasure, Sir.”
He took a step back and motioned for me to turn around. “Bend over and place your hands on the table. Spread your legs wide.”
Feeling extremely vulnerable and more than a little exposed, I did as he instructed.
“Lean all the way down. Put your forearms on the table.”
I’d never been more grateful for yoga than in that moment. I managed to put my elbows on the table, bending my body in half while keeping my legs straight, feet far apart. I was shocked when I felt his finger brush my anus, something cool sliding over my sensitive skin. He’d obviously come prepared with lube. I wondered whether he always had some. It wouldn’t surprise me, considering his penchant for fucking my ass.
With one hand on my back, Landon teased me for a few minutes before pushing the thin plug in deep. I groaned, surprised by the pleasure I felt. It seemed I was getting used to this. Or maybe I was just that eager. Either way, my body accepted the plug.
“Very pretty, sweet girl.”
I stood and faced him. “Thank you, Sir.”
Rather than take a seat, Landon moved over to the sink, washing his hands.
Justin took his place in front of me. I lifted my head to stare into his eyes. He watched me for long seconds, his eyes caressing my face.
“It’s my pleasure to accept, princess.”
Intrigued Out of the Office Page 16
