“I have not. But I will. I plan to see her at yoga tonight.”
“You need to talk to her. I think you’ll feel better once you do.”
“I know.”
Not wanting to risk the chance of running into Ben, who would likely arrive any minute, I told Jordan I had to go, then darted back down to my car, which was being held at the front. Ideally, I wouldn’t have had to deal with rush-hour traffic on my day off, but I knew there was no other way to get the letters because my bosses hadn’t given them to him before he left last night.
The drive home took a little less time, but it felt like an eternity with the envelope practically calling my name from the passenger seat. Rather than go back to my apartment, I decided I would stop at Starbucks. Not only did I want coffee but I was hoping that by being in public, I wouldn’t get too emotional about whatever they had to say in those letters.
After ordering a croissant and a grande caramel macchiato, I took a seat in the corner and flipped the envelope over and over in my hand.
I was terrified to open the damn thing, freaked out about what they might’ve said after they had some time to think about what was going on. But I knew I had to. I just wasn’t ready yet. So, I managed to procrastinate a little longer by eating my croissant and watching the other patrons milling about.
There were several people setting up laptops alongside their coffee, some looking to be settling in for the long haul. I briefly wondered if any of them were my bosses’ team members. It was possible, right? Since they were all remote, they might enjoy working in a Starbucks while they had their morning coffee. A change of scenery perhaps.
Or maybe one of them was one of Landon’s or Langston’s authors, writing their next bestseller.
That thought pleased me. I liked the idea of an author sneaking away from their normal writing spot to watch the world move around them. I glanced around, trying to figure who might be an author. I decided the young lady who looked a lot like me with her messy ponytail and lack of makeup. Her sweat pants were stylish, so at least she’d made a little effort.
It wasn’t until I’d finished my croissant and my coffee that I realized I was putting off the inevitable. I had to open the letters, had to know what their true feelings were so I could make a decision and get on with my life.
Because that was what it all boiled down to. After three months of playing around, my bosses were asking me to make a choice. I seriously doubted it was for my benefit either, because, until yesterday, I’d been perfectly content with the way things were going.
Okay, maybe not perfectly. But I couldn’t very well make any of my bosses fall in love with me and want a happily ever after, so one day at a time was all I had.
“Excuse me.”
I looked up when I heard a woman’s voice.
“Is this chair taken?”
I looked at the empty chair at my table, then around the space again. I hadn’t realized how crowded it had gotten and I suddenly felt overwhelmed by all the people.
“Actually,” I told her, getting to my feet and grabbing my trash, along with my envelope, “I was just leaving.”
“Thanks.”
With a quick nod, I headed out to my car, trying to think of a place to go where I could have some privacy but not be completely alone. I still didn’t want to go back to my apartment. Truth was, I was dreading what the letters would say and crawling into my bed and crying for the remainder of the day wasn’t something I looked forward to.
As I pulled out of the lot, I saw a sign for the lake and decided that was the perfect place to go.
Twenty minutes later, I was sitting on a secluded park bench watching joggers and walkers get in their morning exercise while the waves gently lapped at the shore.
“Now or never,” I muttered to myself, holding the envelope up and staring at my name scrolled across the front. It looked a lot like Landon’s neat, bold lettering. Or maybe Jordan’s.
My shoulders tensed as I carefully opened the seal, then pulled out four sheets of paper. They didn’t have names on them, so I wasn’t sure whose letter was whose. I figured that was a good thing. I would read whichever one I opened first. No bias.
I slowly unfolded the first paper, my eyes dropping to the bottom of the page to the signature.
I smiled because I’d opened Justin’s first. It seemed fitting since he was the first of my four bosses I’d actually spoken to on the day I showed up for my interview. I could still see his startled gaze when he looked at me.
Swallowing hard, I took a deep breath and started reading.
Princess,
I have to admit, when Landon informed me of your request for a heartfelt response, I was a bit surprised. Then, I was worried. I must tell you, I haven’t written a letter like this since high school. Back when I thought I was in love with Suzy something or other. I wasn’t, by the way. In love with her. Nor was she in love with me. It was merely young lust, but I have to give Suzy Whatsit some credit because she actually introduced me to this lifestyle. Or rather, her mother did. But I digress. And because you requested it, I’m going to give it my all.
Since you want to know what these past few months have meant to me, I need to start at the beginning. The day I stepped off the elevator and saw you standing in the office, waiting for your interview, I felt as though my life had been changed. There before me stood the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on. Sure, that probably sounds corny. For a man like me to be captivated by little more than a pleasant smile and a nicely put together face seems all kinds of wrong, but it’s true. The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were going to play an important role in my life.
And since that day, my outlook on a lot of things has changed. Before you, I’d gotten myself into a rut, spending the majority of my time working and thinking of little else. Since you arrived, I’ve found myself looking forward to more. More time with you, more time with Ben. Hell, more time with the less rigid side of myself.
Now, I’m not the greatest at expressing how I feel, so I’m sure you’re staring at this page with wide eyes, trying to tie it all back to the man you know me to be. However, I assure you, it’s true.
No matter the decision you make, princess, I want you to know that I’ve enjoyed our time together. I’m hoping for more, but if the time I’ve had is all I get, I’m a better man for it.
Justin
I had to read the letter twice before I could move on, but even then, I had tears pooling in my eyes. Justin Parker wasn’t a cold-hearted Dominant. He was a man with feelings and desires. However, what he said was true. I was having a hard time tying back his words with the man that I knew. And I couldn’t help but think that meant I hadn’t spent nearly enough time getting to know him.
This wasn’t going to be an easy decision.
With a heavy sigh, I folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope before opening the next one. I instantly glanced at the signature. My heart pounded in my chest when I saw that it was from Langston. I immediately folded it back and put it at the bottom of the pile. Although I was trying not to be biased, I knew I couldn’t avoid it. That man had the power to break me and I wanted to hear what the others said first.
I opened the next letter. It was from Ben.
Gumdrop,
If it all seems chaotic right now, I want to assure you that it will pass. Like all the complications we encounter in this life, things will get better. I know that’s not what you want to hear from me, but it’s the wisdom I wish to bestow. I’m a firm believer that our lives are mapped out for us and on every path we find ourselves on, we are meant to make a decision before moving forward. You’re now at that crossroad.
I could go on and on about how I’ve enjoyed our time together and how I want to spend more time with you, but it would all be noise at this point. Follow your heart and we will all end up on the path we’re supposed to be on.
Ben
I sniffled, willing myself not to cry. Ben was one of the kindest me
n I’d ever met. He had such a good heart. I smiled as I reread the short but sweet letter. I should’ve expected as much from Ben. He had always been there to give me advice, to steer me in the right direction. And yes, we’d had some great times together. I had enjoyed that man more than I could express. However, I also knew that he was devoted to Justin. They had something that no one could impinge upon. He might’ve shared a small piece of himself with me, but I knew where his heart belonged and I couldn’t blame him.
Needless to say, his letter didn’t help me to make a decision; however, it did make me feel better.
Quickly flipping the third letter open, I took a deep breath and jumped right in.
Sweet girl,
If I had all day, I couldn’t tell you how I feel. I’ve never been the type who could express it in words. I’m more a hands-on kind of guy. And by my saying that, you should know that my feelings for you run deep. Far deeper than I anticipated. Although we’ve shared some intimate encounters, I feel as though I haven’t had enough time with you and I’m not ready to give that up. I’m not.
You may have figured out that my brother and I do a lot of sharing. It’s true. And above all else, it’s what I want. Unfortunately, we don’t always get what we want.
In order to get to that perfect point, I feel it’s necessary to have you to myself, to get to know you on a different level. If we didn’t have that opportunity and you were to always look to Langston for guidance and control, I’d be doing a serious disservice to you.
Regardless of your decision, I will respect it.
Landon
My eyes teared up again as I read the letter. Landon wasn’t the type to mince words, and I could practically feel his emotions on the page. I was right in thinking that Landon and I had a connection, because I felt the same way about him. I wasn’t ready to let him go. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
Staring at the final letter, I prayed that Langston would say something that would help me make a sound decision.
Little one,
I saw the pain I caused you when I laid out the truth, and I will admit that it hurt on a level I’ve never experienced before. However, in that same regard, what I said was true. In fact, everything I’ve said to you is true. Such as how I knew you were mine the first day that I saw you.
However, when I say that, I’m not sure you can completely understand what I mean. My brother and I are two halves of a whole, always have been, always will be. That means that if you’re mine, you’re his also. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ve been good at making that clear, or even figuring out the right way to pursue this that won’t confuse you more.
As far as I’m concerned, you belong to both of us, pet. However, I don’t think you’ve had time to truly understand what that means. Which is the very reason I forced my hand and insisted you make a choice that I hoped you wouldn’t be able to make. I don’t want you to choose me. Not just me. And that’s why I said what I said.
No matter what your decision, I know that there is more in store for you and me and Landon. The question is, how long will it take before it’s realized? Unfortunately, no one has the answer to that right now.
Master
Tears dripped down my cheeks as I read and reread Langston’s letter. However, they weren’t tears of sadness, they were tears of anger. It pissed me off that he could be so stubborn, that he could seemingly play God in so many lives. More so that he couldn’t simply tell me what he was feeling. I didn’t want only him. I wanted them both equally. Had he simply asked me, he would’ve known that.
But Langston had been in control since the beginning. He was the one who had switched the gears, veering off the track that we had been going down. And Landon was right. I did look to Langston for guidance and control because of the way he had handled things. It wasn’t fair to the others, nor was it fair to me.
Especially since he wasn’t willing to move this thing we shared any further. I even had to wonder whether he was holding Landon back as well.
Not that I hadn’t expected it from him. Langston hadn’t opened up to me. Not with his feelings. I could tell he wanted something from me. And fine, maybe he didn’t know how he truly felt, but I did. I saw it when he looked at me, when he made love to me. It was there.
But he didn’t want to accept it.
And because of that…
I sighed as I stared out at the water.
Because of that, I knew exactly what I had to do.
But first, I had to confront my friend.
Twenty-Two
AT A FEW MINUTES AFTER five, I forced myself up off my couch and headed to the bathroom to get ready. I had texted Kristen earlier, letting her know that it was important that I talk to her. She assured me she would be at the six o’clock yoga class. Which meant, if I wanted to be there on time, I would have to hurry.
Not only did I intend to call my friend out tonight but I was also looking forward to yoga. It would help to clear my mind. And when it was over, I would get a chance to confront Kristen. If nothing else, she had a whole lot to explain. After all, she was the one who had pimped me out to the men who were now making my life difficult.
Then, if she was still my friend when it was all said and done, I was hoping she could give me some advice about how to proceed. I knew what I wanted; now I just had to figure out how I was going to make it happen.
•
“Well, hello there, stranger,” Kristen greeted when I walked into the yoga studio a few minutes before the class was to start. “You’ve still got the beach glow going on. Or maybe that’s just what being in love looks like on you.”
“Nobody said anything about love,” I countered with a grin.
Kristen frowned, her eyes studying my face as though the answers to all her questions were etched into my skin. “Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise?”
“Something like that.”
I think she knew where I was heading. I was trying to keep my tone even, but it was difficult. I was upset with her, but it wasn’t fair to her because I had yet to explain it.
Although I didn’t know every intimate detail of Kristen’s life—such as she was a member of a BDSM club—I’d thought I knew her better than I did. I mean, I knew that she turned thirty last year, lived with her long-time boyfriend, worked as a sous chef for one of the upscale restaurants nearby, wasn’t a big fan of sushi, and drank red wine like Kool-Aid. Those were important things to know about a person.
The fact that she had obviously helped get me a job had made me believe we were good friends. The point was, I’d trusted her.
Only to find out she was a Domme, her boyfriend her submissive, and she had purposely put me in the path of my four bosses for reasons that weren’t altruistic—to use Justin’s word.
Kristen narrowed her eyes. “I guess I have some explaining to do.”
I nodded. “That would be nice.”
She hugged me again. “Let’s grab a bite after class and I’ll tell you everything. Just don’t be mad at me, okay? It’s bad for your chi.”
I chuckled. Although I felt slightly set up, I wasn’t really mad. I wanted to be, sure. But there was so much upheaval, right now I just wanted a friend who wouldn’t abandon me. I had Jordan, but I couldn’t deny that Kristen and I had once been close. I still needed her more than I was willing to admit.
I smiled. “Food would be good.”
“Perfect.”
With that on the agenda, we both settled in for class.
•
“So, first off, tell me about the job. Is it going okay?” Kristen prompted when we sat down for a light dinner an hour and a half later.
“For the most part, yes. The actual work is fantastic. They’re trusting me with more and more every day. And I really enjoy it.” Since she wanted to keep this superficial to start, I turned the table on her. “How about you? How’s the restaurant business?”
Kristen beamed back at me. “It’s fantastic. A couple of weeks ago, the head chef decided to add one of m
y recipes to the menu.”
I clapped with excitement. “That’s fantastic! I knew you were hoping for that someday.”
“I know, it’s great.”
It felt just like old times. It was almost a shame that I was going to ruin everything by confronting her.
We studied our menus momentarily, neither of us saying anything. The pleasantries were out of the way and the only thing left to discuss was the elephant in the room. I looked up to see Kristen smiling at me.
“What?”
“I was just wondering when you were going to tell me about…your newfound fetishes.”
I couldn’t keep from laughing. “Oh, you know me. Fetishes, smetishes. Nothing to really brag about. How’s Tim? Everything good?”
That question wasn’t easy to ask at this point in our relationship. After all, the guy’s tongue had been in my pussy. It kind of changed everything between us.
“Peachy. We’re still truckin’ along.”
“That’s good to hear.”
She put her chin on her hand. “But I really want to know more about the job.”
“It’s fine,” I finally said. “The work’s great.”
“But the relationships are a little…different, huh?”
Obviously, she knew what Landon and Langston were into because she knew them. But that didn’t mean I was ready to give up everything. I was still a little perturbed by the way things had all played out. I leaned forward and kept my voice low. “Why didn’t you tell me you belonged to a BDSM club?”
Kristen’s eyes widened and she looked around, probably to make sure no one had heard me. I had made sure no one was within earshot, so she was safe.
“It’s not something that usually comes up in conversation.”
She sounded just like Jordan.
“But you sent me for an interview with a bunch of Doms, Kristen. Don’t you think I should’ve at least had an idea of what I was walking into?”
Intrigued Out of the Office Page 15
