by Piper Rayne
“That was the plan, yes.”
“Was?”
The tiny glimmer of hope beginning to sparkle inside of me should not be there. I don't want this girl to give up her life’s ambition to live in a small town like Climax Cove. If Gretchen taught me anything, it was that you can’t force someone to want to be here.
“Lately, I've been thinking a lot about it. I’ve been wondering if New York is the best place for me.” Her unsure eyes reach mine and I can't help but swallow down the feeling that she's leading to a question.
“Why?” I ask in a quiet voice.
Her shoulder lifts. “I'm not sure that's where I belong.”
I sit up straight, my back against the headboard, needing space. Cat sits up, placing the sheet in front of her to cover her breasts. Probably from the cold rush I just brought in this room with my change of attitude.
“Cat.” My hand lands on her cheek. “You can't stay in Climax Cove for Lily and me.”
As much as I want to beg and plead with her to stay, to tell her I can make her happy, I'm reminded that she's not mine. She never has been and the last thing I want to do is trap a girl again because this time it won't just be my heart that’s devastated by the loss, it will be Lily's too.
Her gaze dips down and a jagged fracture rips up my chest because I’ve obviously hurt her.
“Who said I would stay here for you? I never said I was going to stay in Climax Cove, I just said I didn't think New York was the place for me.” Her tone is curt and if I didn't already believe I’ve hurt her, I'm positive I did now.
“Hey,” I say in a soothing voice.
She looks at me, tears pooling in the corner of her eyes.
“I can't have you settle by staying here. Lily will always come first in my life. I know that might make me sound like an asshole, but she comes first. Her life is here in Climax Cove and I'm not going to disrupt that. Don't get me wrong, I love what's going on here, and I don't want it to end, but I know come September, you have choices to make. I need you to make those decisions for yourself, not for me or Lily.”
She nods, letting the sheet drop and exposing herself to me. Her hand holds my hand to her cheek and her eyes fall closed. No words come out of her mouth. No empty promises of what will happen. Of what she’ll choose.
When the shimmering blue hues I love to look into are visible again, the vulnerability I saw minutes ago is gone.
“Thank you,” she says softly.
“For what?”
“For your honesty. I know it's probably hard for you to tell me, but I appreciate knowing where I stand.” There's no hint of anger in her voice. “For the record, I would never expect to come before Lily. Ever. And if this became more than fun, it would be the same for me. Her needs would come before you.”
Jesus, what single dad wouldn't want to hear that the woman you're falling for loves your child enough to put her first?
“Maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves. Just promise me as you're contemplating your decisions, you’ll do what’s best for you.”
She nods. “I promise.”
“Now, how about round two.” I glance back to make sure my door is still locked. “If you leave me in the fall, I need to have lots of material for the spank bank.”
She squeals as I pin her to the bed and my lips descend to her neck.
“Wait,” she cries out. “Let me up.”
I do, concerned that I might have hurt her, but she pushes me onto my back with a wide grin on her face. I watch as she straddles my legs and brings her mouth down onto my cock.
“Fuck, Cat. Your mouth is exquisite.”
She runs her tongue along my crown and I clamp one hand in her hair, gripping it tightly. When she sucks her cheeks in and pushes all the way down until I can feel the back of her throat I can’t help myself. I start controlling her movements with my fist in her hair dragging her up and down my cock.
I don’t worry about what’s going to happen at the end of summer. I don’t worry that she may very well break my heart, or me hers. I can only concentrate on the pleasure she’s gifting me in this moment.
All the concerns Tahlia threw our way have been sealed by placing a Band-Aid on top. And somehow, I know that Band-Aid is going to hurt like hell when she rips it off.
30
Caterina
“Show me the chair that the throwing up incident happened,” I tell Marcus as we walk with each of our hands clasped to Lily's around the Climax Cove summer festival.
“Right there.” Marcus points to a table filled with people that rests just under the street light. “That's where she threw up all over me.”
Lily laughs. “Daddy, you always tell that story.”
I look over at him. We share a smile and then face forward again.
After our conversation last week, there's an underlying fissure in our relationship. Almost like he’s waiting for me to blurt out a decision and I’ve wondered more than a few times whether he really wants me here or not.
I wanted to scream at him that of course Lily comes first. I would never assume she didn't. But I've learned over my time with Marcus, he has a fear of being hurt, left behind, but what really keeps him one arm’s length away from people is the fear of Lily being hurt.
“Mallory!” Lily screams, and let's go of our hands, running toward a red-haired girl about her age.
“That's her friend,” Marcus whispers in my ear.
“I've seen her at camp. So, her mom is single?”
A smirk forms on his lips and he nods. “She is.”
“And she's hit on you?” The ugly green monster rears her head as I notice the woman's eyes focus on our joined hands as she approaches.
“Never.”
He winks, and I roll my eyes. The Bachelor of Climax Cove, Marcus Kent, ladies and gentlemen.
“Hi, Viv,” Marcus holds his hand out to the mom.
I realize when I get a better look at her that Mallory is the exact replica of her.
“Hi, Marcus.” The girls talk non-stop next to us about the cotton candy and rides. “Don't you work at the camp?” she asks me in a sugary-sweet voice that suggests she's purposely pointing out the age difference.
“I do. Caterina.” I hold my hand out and she takes it, shaking it lightly.
“Nice to meet you.” I’m no body language expert, but even I can tell that the smile on her face does not suggest that she’s happy I’m here.
“You too.”
Each of our hands drop and Marcus quickly grabs hold of my free hand. Again, Viv's eyes zero in on our connection.
“Why don't I take the girls for a bit?” she offers.
Marcus and I look to one another and he's quick to nod. “That'd be great.”
“Okay, Mallory's been bothering me to ride the rides, but my ass can barely fit in those rides, so let's meet back here in about an hour or so?”
Is there some magic bug that bites you, morphing your personality to the opposite end of the spectrum? Why is she being so nice?
“Perfect, Viv, thank you.”
“No problem.” Her eyes linger up and down my body once more. “You two go enjoy yourselves.”
Marcus bends down to talk to Lily, instructing her to pay attention to Mallory's mom. She nods, not hearing a word he says because she just wants to go.
Lily hugs him and tells him she loves him. And just as we're about to part, she rushes over to me and wraps her arms around my stomach, tight. “Be right back,” she says. I don't get an I love you, or much else, but her actions. Her actions speak so much more than words.
Viv watches the scene and I should remind her there are flies around so she might want to shut her mouth. Her reaction doesn't throw me, but Marcus's eyes move from Lily to me and it's in this moment I know that if I leave for New York, I'm going to crush two people that I've grown to love having in my life.
“Let's go.” Marcus drags me away, but he can't hide the reaction he had from me.
“Viv sure didn’t
hide the fact that she’s put off that I’m in the picture,” I say as we make our way through the crowd. “How long has she carried a torch for you?” I try to keep the jealousy from my voice, but it’s useless.
Marcus covers his mouth with his free hand and starts laughing.
“What’s so funny?” I ask, a little perturbed that he finds it so funny. He keeps laughing and eventually I give him a playful smack on the arm. “Seriously, what’s so funny?”
“I think Viv’s probably more annoyed that I’m holding your hand.” He wipes at the tears under his eyes from laughing so hard.
I stop walking and pull him back to me so we’re facing each other. “I don’t get it.”
“Cat, she’s a lesbian.” He chuckles again. “You have nothing to worry about. But based on the way she was checking you out, I might.” He grins at me and I return the gesture.
“Oh, I didn’t know,” I say and laugh.
He leans in and gives me a chaste kiss. “It wouldn’t matter anyway. Come on, we have a date with a Ferris wheel.”
A few minutes later, we're on the Ferris wheel that overlooks the small downtown area and ocean.
“It really is a beautiful city,” I say.
“Town. I'd say Climax Cove is a town. A small town at that,” he says.
I elbow him in the ribs.
“Hey now, you break a rib and you'll be the one punished when I can’t give you those earth-shattering orgasms anymore.” He chuckles, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.
“I would miss those.” We sit quietly for a moment taking in the view as we move slowly around the circle. “You're always so quick to pick on this town. I thought you loved it?” I turn to face him, but he transfers his attention back out to the view in front of us.
“I do love this town, but that doesn't mean it's for everyone.”
“If I didn't know better, I'd assume you wanted me to pick New York,” I say.
He takes my face in his hands and stares into my eyes. “Believe me Cat, I want you here with us, but that doesn't change the fact that I can't promise you anything. You need to be where you have a real shot at the future you want.”
His lips tip down at the corner and there’s defeat in his eyes. Normally I wouldn’t pick on someone when they’re down but I’d love to cock back my fist and slam it into his face. Strike that, I'd like to go all MMA on his ass.
He can’t promise me anything? I may be ten years younger but even I know there's no such thing as a future that’s promised to us.
His lips press to mine and if only I could deny the magic that swirls between us when we touch, I would speak my mind. But what there is to say until I make my choice, I don’t know.
For now, I choose to enjoy the present and pretend the future will never arrive.
31
Marcus
It's midweek and I'm at the shop, finishing up a boat for a client I have coming in this weekend. My plan was to take Cat and Lily out on my own boat for the day on Saturday, but business comes first. This is a whale of a guy from Portland that I need to cater to if I want him to refer me out to all his rich friends.
“Marcus,” Carl, the mailman, peeks inside the door.
“What's up, man? Come on in.” I wave him in, dropping the stain and brush on the side table and wipe my hands on my pants.
“I have a certified letter for you. I knew you weren't home, so I was over at Double D's for lunch and thought I'd try you here.” He holds out a piece of green cardboard paper. “I need your signature.”
Using his pen, I sign and we exchange the green cardboard for the envelope. There’s an attorney’s return address on it. What the hell could this be about?
“Well, nothing good usually comes from those. It's not like they send you a letter telling you, you won the lottery,” Carl says, backing up toward the door.
“That's the truth. Thank you, Carl.” I wave and he leaves quickly, leaving me alone with what feels like a grenade with the pin pulled in my hands.
I rip open the envelope and pull out the single sheet of paper. I start to scan the words and instantly my heart rate kicks up and my breathing becomes labored. I see nothing but red. Red volcanic lava is probably squirting from my ears.
“Fuck her,” I mumble, reading the letter from some lawyer, Mr. Bushwell, stating that Gretchen wants to enact her parental rights and have visitation with Lily.
What kind of loon did she hire? Hello, she's in prison. I didn't know they had a park for the convicts to play with their children.
“Jack!” I scream.
He casually walks through the archway from the second building wiping his hands on a rag. “What's up?”
“I'll be back, I need someone to finish staining.” I point to where I abandoned my project.
“Sure thing.”
I grab my cell phone, and right before I'm out the door, I go back to my desk and pull my checkbook out of the desk drawer. I don't care how much this fucking costs me, Gretchen will never see Lily if I have anything to say about it.
“You okay, boss?” Jack calls out behind me as stomp toward the door again.
I don’t bother responding.
Two minutes and three people later, I'm in Mike Polar’s office, my lawyer. I open his door, slam the piece of paper on his desk and then start to pace.
“Why, hello, Marcus, how are you this afternoon? Me? Well, I had a nice BLT for lunch and business is going well. Thank you for asking.” His sarcastic tone doesn't lighten the mood.
“She wants fucking visitation.” My fists ball at my sides.
Mike picks up the letter, reading it and sighs and groans over what he's seeing.
A lot of people in town know what happened with Gretchen. Well, they don't know that I’m partially responsible for the fact that she got to where she ended up, but they know how she left me, never to be seen again. And they know she's currently in maximum-security prison. It’s one of those things that everyone knows, but out of respect for Lily, no one ever discusses.
“Sit down, Marcus,” Mike instructs, but I shake my head, my mind in a frenzy of fury.
“Here.” I pull out my checkbook from my back pocket and toss it on the desk. “I don't care how much it is, I'll fight until I'm broke.”
He slides the checkbook to the edge of his desk and leans back in his chair, steepling his hands in front of him.
“Marcus, you're going to have to face this head on. Money is not going to solve the issue.” He presses his lips together and shakes his head. “I doubt a judge would be okay with a kid being dragged into prison to see a mom she doesn't know, but who’s to say? If she can show she's turned herself around, she could have a case. And then once a month you'll be driving your five-year-old upstate to visit her mom.”
“This is fucking insane!” I yell. “How is there even a remote possibility that Gretchen has a leg to stand on?”
“Look, she’s Lily’s biological mother and she never signed her parental rights away.” He sighs again. “My suggestion is that you handle this yourself. Go up there and talk with Gretchen.”
That's not what I wanted to hear.
“I've raised Lily. I'm the one who cuddles with her when she's sick or makes sure she has clothes, food and a damn roof over her head. No judge would allow her to get visitation.” I continue pacing, hoping I wear out a line in his office from his lack of help.
“You don't know that. Why take the chance? I'm sure the two of you can come to some resolution that won't be court ordered. Maybe letters should be exchanged first. Does Lily even know about Gretchen?”
I walk up to his desk, the edge of the top gripped in my palms as I lean toward him. “Why does everyone give a shit about what Lily knows? I'm her dad, I'm all she has. I'm all that matters to her.” I grab the piece of paper. “If you're not going to help me, someone else will.” Taking the letter and my checkbook, I stomp off.
“You need to be reasonable,” he calls out after me.
I flip him my middle
finger and slam the door behind me.
32
Caterina
“Why do people eat with these?” Lily asks, trying her hardest to use chopsticks.
“It's part of their culture,” I say, positioning them in her hands the correct way for the tenth time.
“What’s culture?” she asks and a noodle slips from the sticks.
“Why don't you use your fork?” I chuckle and slide it closer to her but she shakes her head.
“Nope. You use them, I want to, too.” She continues to struggle with the chopsticks and I glance over to Marcus, who is staring into his General Tso’s chicken, his own chopsticks just moving the pieces around.
“You okay?” I ask, placing my hand on his forearm.
He retracts his arm and hides it under the table. “I'm fine. Bad day.”
“Okay,” I say softly.
Lily and I discuss our day at camp and how Ben is goofy with his songs and all the dances he's always doing. She asks me about San Francisco and if I like living there. My entire dinner conversation is with a five-year-old whose only concern is picking up a piece of meat with two sticks. Marcus sits there, eating nothing, saying nothing, but hey, he’s on his third beer. Stellar night.
“Can we watch a movie?” Lily asks while I'm putting the Chinese food in the fridge and placing the silverware in the dishwasher.
I toss Marcus' two empty beer bottles in the recycling and cork the bottle of wine for another time.
“Actually, you've been up a long time. How about a bath and a story and bed?”
Lily's face droops. “That sucks.”
I bite my lip trying not smile. Zombie Marcus finally becomes alert.
“What did you say, Lily?” His tone is not one I've heard him use with her before. It's borderline close to anger.
“What?” she asks.
“Don't play me, you know what you said.”
Lily slides away from him, her face falling. “Sucks,” she says so softly a mouse would have a hard time hearing her.
