I, Illicit

by Andrea Tyse

  “I don’t know what you are up to, but you can’t go around looking like a love sick calf after her. People are noticing. She’s smiling more. She looks better than she ever has, obviously whatever you are doing agrees with her. But you know the rules, no mixing business and pleasure.” Simon turned to his boss who was standing parallel with him watching the building Danni was deployed in.

  “It’s none of your business.” Simon growled.

  “Yes it is that’s exactly what it is, business.” His boss’s voice was reprimanding now, he tightened the black coat around his collar trying to keep a little of the cold wind out.

  “I’m good for her. Normal is good for her, why should she be treated like property of the government when she is a bleeding breathing human.” He knew he was opening a can of worms but his frustration with her being inside the building in danger was making him antsy. He hated that he was in a position of disadvantage to protect her.

  “Simon, I’m not here trying to make your life difficult, I’m trying to help you. Do you know before you came into her life, I’d never seen her smile? Now I get to witness this rare event every time she sees you coming for her. No matter that she’s been stabbed, shot, bashed and bruised. She has a nothing but absolute faith in you that you will make her better, but I’ve also seen that poor girl lose everything. I don’t want to see her lose you like she did William. Separation is there for a reason. So you can have a normal life outside of Danni and she can go on doing her job if you are not there.” His boss let out a long breath his face showing every line and age spot. “You might not agree with what we have done but it worked, she got over Wills death and performs her job. That’s proof of the system’s value. If you go fucking it up I can’t say what the consequences will be for her.” With that he walked away from Simon standing in the rain watching the building with a heavy heart.

  “You’re very quiet tonight.” Danni said watching Simon move around the kitchen. His moves efficient in everything he did. She loved watching him. She’d watched him shave for the first time and for some reason it seemed very intimate to her. Now he was putting the dishes away after a long day at work. Danni was exhausted but not so tired she didn’t notice that he was unusually subdued. For weeks he had been subdued. She felt she had done something wrong had somehow disgusted him and he had regrets. She had pushed him away and now he was doing the same to her.

  Are you going tired of this arrangement? Do you wish for me to domicile somewhere else? Do my nanites make you find me not attractive anymore? These questions ran wild in her brain but she kept them to herself. She had learned that time solved all questions for those with patience.

  “Just tired is all.” He said but his usual sunny self was missing even his eyes didn’t seem as vividly blue.

  “I am the same,” although she meant it in a different way she bade him good night and for the first time in months went to her old room and lay down on the bed alone. She dreamt of Will except Will was Simon, Simon who was blown up and dying. Simon’s noises as he gurgled out his last breath.

  Please don’t die, don’t do this to me again. She cried out. She grabbed her knife and in the back alley filled with trash that was burning from the explosion that just blasted everything, she cut her wrist. Just like she had done to Will she poured her blood on to his chest wound praying that the nanites that rebuilt her would transfer to him. She begged them over and over…”Fix him, fix him, fix him.”

  “What the hell are you doing in here?” Simon’s angry voice snapped her out of her dream and emotions crashed down into her. She cried out but rolled away from Simon not wanting him to see her weakness. It was just a dream that’s all it was, just a dream but it felt real.

  “What’s wrong, honey?” The caring Simon was back, concern thick in his voice.

  ‘You’re going to leave me alone just like William did but you are doing it now before your even gone. I’m sorry for whatever I did to make you not like me anymore. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” She couldn’t stop the tears now and she knew she sounded like a little kid and hated herself for it.

  Strong arms wrapped around her and tugged her off the bed, “No love, I’m the one who should be sorry.” He carried her to his bed. “This is where you belong Danni, do you hear me, you belong right here in my bed. This is our bed now because I’m yours and you’re mine.” She didn’t say anything just sniffed against his chest as they laid down facing each other on the bed. He reached over and tugged her hair behind an ear.

  “I was trying to protect you, the boss said we can’t be together, that the others are noticing and they will do something to stop this. I don’t want to lose you so if I had to live like a monk just to be near you every damn day of my life I’ll do it. Being without you isn’t an option for me. I was lonely before I met you Danni sure I have a family and they love me, but they aren’t you. You give me peace like no one else ever has. I love you.” Danni stopped crying and wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight squeeze. “We all live and we all die Danni, you understand that better than most, you understand that one minute people are here and the next they aren’t. And you inspire me because you keep trying, you don’t give up. Other people can’t handle what you take on in life, they can’t watch the hostages that don’t make it die, and they can’t be the hand of justice when shit is on the line.” He kissed her softly and whispered, “You understand this better than anyone and never complain about it. You’re not bitter by what you never had, you have joy in the little things in life and I am so humbled to be able to share those experiences with you.”

  He pulled her under him and kissed her deeply his tongue demanding entrance to her sweetness inside her mouth. He dragged kisses from her mouth to her ear and whispered, “Don’t make me come get you again, this is where we sleep, this is where I will show you my love. You don’t have to say you love me now, because I know that you do.”

  He bent lower shoving her shirt up, “I love these beauties.” He said as he lowered his head and licked her nipples paying equal attention to both.

  She gasped the word “love” then squirmed under his weight as he pinned her down. He shoved her legs apart with his hands on her inner thighs and wedged himself right where she was wet and wanting.

  “Tell me how you feel?” His voice was dark with lust, his eyes electric.

  “Wet.” Was all she said before he tore her panties away and cupped her bare flesh with his hand.

  “Oh god you’re all slick and wet and naked for me.” He groaned into her nipple as a finger gently slid through her slit. She cried out at the foreign feeling of his hand there but he gentled her with small strokes getting her used to his touch. He began to kiss his way down to her stomach stopping to nuzzle her right under her navel on her slightly curved little stomach. He went lower making room for his shoulders between her legs. “Now this,” he bent his blond head and blew on her pussy, “this is heaven”. Danni almost sat up but he placed a palm flat on her belly holding her down, “It’s ok baby,” she relaxed slightly feeling her heart beat going crazy, “trust me.” She wanted whatever he thought sounded like a good idea to him at this point.

  “You are so pretty down here,” he spread her apart and began to lick her, “all pink and perfect for me”. He found her clit and began rubbing on either side of it. She wasn’t sure she liked that feeling when she felt him suck it between his lips she decided it was a good thing. She couldn’t help but push her hips against him. He licked sucked and stroked until she was so wet she was embarrassed. She tried to push him away but he just growled at her in warning and penetrated her small hole with a searching finger.

  That felt good and bad, she wanted to push against him and wanted him to stop. Then he began to suck and lick her clit faster and rub his finger deep inside her, one finger becoming two. Her body tightened as heat burst in her belly radiating out from where he was touching her. She cried out his name and bowed off the bed her eyes wide open in surprise.

  Then he was on t
op of her his body blanketing hers. He began pushing something bigger than his fingers inside of her. His cock was not introduced slowly no he mounted her, held her down and rammed his dick sharply up inside of her. She arched in agony as his cock ripped through her virginity. He grunted in approval loving that he was the only one and would be the only one to ever touch her. He made a noise deep in his chest and flexed his hips pushing deeper inside of her until all 9 inches reached deep. His cockhead throbbed against her cervix and she arched up in discomfort at the pressure. He retreated slowly, kissing her, licking her, biting her neck, her shoulders.

  He hunched down and the heat of his mouth covered a nipple while his hips began to jackhammer her pussy. The heat and length of him was amazing and painful at the same time but she didn’t want him to stop. She had a feeling he had waited a long time for this, he was ravenous for her.

  If he didn’t hold her down he was sure he would have fucked her right off the bed. He was trying to be careful but his body was in overdrive overruling common sense that pounding away at a newly undone virgin was a bad idea. She was so wet and so tight inside it almost hurt his dick. He wanted more of it, more of her. He pushed her legs up toward her chest and began hammering away trying to get as deep as he could. She arched up in discomfort every time his cockhead punched at her cervix but then she squeezed him even tighter when he tried to pull out. She was holding on to his shoulders tightly and he arched his back up so he could grab her hands and pin them down next to her head. The way her breast moved as he thrust inside of her made him wild. He loved it and told her so. She crossed her legs high on his back and he groaned at the feeling of her trying to squeeze the hell out of him. She wasn’t a passenger on this ride she was totally there with him, enjoying the pain and pleasure of each hard stroke.

  Hips working together they beat at each other in instinct. This wasn’t lovemaking, this wasn’t fucking it was going to be a mating of body mind and soul. He could feel the pressure building in his groin, feel it as it clawed its way to his throbbing head. He felt himself swell as pleasure rocketed through his body. He felt her small contractions on his cock and he lost it, he erupted inside of her, his semen jetting against her cervix as his dick tried to get as deep as it could even when she arched up against the pressure. She still latched on to him with all her arms and legs he wasn’t sure she was even breathing at the moment because in the next she gasped and started crying out in his ear as her body began to shake under him. Collapsing on top of her he could feel her contractions squeezing the last bit of cum out of him, his cock still throbbing. Peace, contentment and relief washed over them as he stayed inside her as long as he could.

  He smiled to himself and kissed her as he rolled them over so she could lay on top of him all boneless. “Are you ok?” He asked not completely sure he hadn’t just overdone it in a big way but pretty confident she had been right there with him.

  “I love you.” His eyes might have been a little wet at her response because it was just what he needed to hear.

  Each night he was inside of her, pushing her, trying different positions. It was as if he couldn’t get enough of her but that was ok because she felt the same way. She loved when in the middle of the day he bent her over the kitchen table, lifting the short skirt she was wearing to see that she wore no panties underneath in hopes he would find out. He kissed her hip as he moved himself over her. His weight made her wet and she enjoyed the feeling of him mounting her. He pushed inside and his girth made her feel stretched and a little bit sore. He thrust hard making the table scratch the wood flooring and she pushed her hips back at him. He bit the back of her neck when she flooded his cock with her wetness, squeezing around him. He hammered inside of her until he was flooding her with jet after jet of liquid heat bathing her insides and splattering on the floor below them. She loved his cum, loved it inside of her, loved sucking him off and swallowing it. She loved it because he got so much pleasure from it. She could tell he got very excited at the idea of her filled with him. He would often rub her belly just below her navel after he had ejaculated as much as he could inside her. They could be sitting on the floor watching television and he would absently be rubbing a big warm palm over her belly. She wasn’t even sure he knew he was doing it but she loved it because it made her feel wanted and adored. She loved this life with him so different than her life before.

  Then it all ended. Six months after being partnered a massive explosion rocked a building that Danni was deployed in. Instead of being allowed inside the building Simon had been promptly detained and held in a cell until a few days later he was released by government officials. The details he had been given were slim. Danni was recovering in a hidden facility and he would not be reunited with her. The upper management had been informed that there had been possible inappropriate contact between Danni and Simon so they decided the best course of action was to end the contract. He would not be told where she was, her condition or what would happen to her in the future. He was demoted from his position and would have no contact with Bionites in the future. His career was over, but to Simon it felt more like his life was over. He tried everything he could think of to find out her where they had hidden her. He called on old favors, he begged his old boss. He tried contacting a lawyer to sue the government. No one would take the case. Bionites did not have the same rights as a citizen did. The nanites inside of them took precedence over any rights a person could have. He slowly felt himself go insane, each day felt like a lifetime without her. He wouldn’t stop. He would keep searching until the day he died.

  A knock at his door had him facing his old boss; he hadn’t seen the old man in weeks. “Can I come in?”

  “Sure.” Simon led them to the kitchen island and brought out two beers. “Thanks for the offer but I’m on official business.”

  Simon felt his hackles rise, “is there anything else left to take?” He couldn’t help the bitterness in his tone.

  “Do you want to see her?” Simon didn’t even speak just got up, went through the door and was standing beside his boss’s car ready to go.

  “I guess that answers that.” His boss hid a grin.

  The building they entered was one Simon had never been to before. It looked like a factory on the outside with razor wire protecting it. He knew that it wasn’t just the fencing that kept people out, there were hidden cameras and snipers on top of the roof hidden from view, but he knew they were there watching him. He was led to an elevator inside the building that lurched down into the ground. After some time it squealed to a halt and the doors opened up to what looked like a large room with doors on all sides.

  “Follow me.” Simon trailed behind the old man at a distance just in case. He was brought to a small interrogation room.

  “Oh now you want to talk?” Simon said snidely.

  “Sit down.” The old man sat in a chair and pointed to the empty one across from him. Simon sat and leaned back in his chair arms crossed over his chest looking pensive.

  “She’s not doing well.” At that Simon lurched forward all attention focused. “Her injuries have not been healing like they should. We noticed her regeneration phases taking her longer and longer to complete about three months ago. The people in the lab said to just let things progress and see if they bounced back, they didn’t so they recommended bringing her in and running some tests. We found out the cause but she’s in such bad shape right now they may take drastic measures to find a cure.”

  “What’s wrong with her?” Simon could feel his teeth grinding as he waited.

  “She’s pregnant.” His boss eyed how that bit of information would be digested. To his surprise Simon looked absolutely ready to kill.

  “What kind of drastic measures?” The tone of Simon’s voice was chilling.

  “Well, they are talking about aborting the baby if she can’t heal. They recommended bringing you in as a last ditch effort to see if your presence makes a difference. She doesn’t know about the baby.”

  “Take me
to her.”

  They got back into the elevator and went further down into the ground, Simon didn’t know how many levels they were passing he didn’t care. He only wanted to see her again. When the doors opened it was as if they walked into space command control. There were multiple screens displaying images of a person’s form on a hospital bed. There was a glass window that overlooked an operating room with the patient the focus of all the technology. Simon broke into a run. He slammed into the window and looked down. Danni lay burned on the bed, burned as though she had just been pulled from a fire and her body had turned to a hard black crust. Her skin was charcoal black with cracks that glowed red. Her hair was burned away from her skull and her eyes were stark white in her face. Simon turned violent and began moving around the room scaring the lab technicians from their posts to avoid him.

  “How long has she been suffering like this?” His voice was deadly his hands fisted at his sides.

  “Since the explosion,” the explanation came from a small woman who stood just behind him. “If you look to the screen to the right of you, you will see what is causing this lack of regeneration.” Simon looked at the screen and saw the nanites were surrounding a small form inside of her. The baby was being shielded by all of the nanites. “They have been protecting the fetus before we even found out she was pregnant. Nothing we have done has made them retreat to heal her. This isn’t a situation where we want to terminate the pregnancy but we could lose her if she doesn’t heal and both lives will be lost. Frankly, we are out of options.” The doctor watched emotions run across Simon’s handsome face from wonder to rage.