Shalia's Diary #3

by Tracy St. John

  And here I thought my love life was complicated.

  We sat there for a few minutes, thinking our own thoughts and waiting to live or die. I assume Betra was thinking over his mess of a situation with Oses and the inability to be a part of a clan. Meanwhile, I thought of my own loved ones. Mom lay in stasis somewhere on a shuttle out in space, unaware that she may never have the opportunity to awake. Lucky gal. My child, a tiny embryo in my stomach, a hostage to my fortune, shared whatever fate waited for me. Katrina and Candy were on a shuttle, and who knew what they were thinking with my empty seat next to them? It made me wonder if they would be all right if the Tragooms won ... would they find a safe port or be picked up by the victors?

  I wondered what effect my death would have on my Kalquorian dads. Nayun would be beside himself, but Bitev and Rak, who were not as emotionally invested in me, would be there to help him through it. That was some comfort. Still, it would only increase the worry over the woman they’d clanned, Joelle. She was also on her way to Kalquor now. That I would give any of them cause to grieve hurt my heart.

  And what of Dusa, Esak, and Weln? Would they regret not answering my coms if I was killed out here? I didn’t want to be the reason they ever felt any guilt. My conscience gnawed at me for sending all those unwanted messages that only reminded them over and over we weren’t together any more. I should have honored their request that we make a clean break of it.

  I’d been so selfish. What an awful legacy to leave behind.

  I was roused from my depressing thoughts by Betra caressing my breast. I looked into his blue-purple eyes in surprise.

  “You’ve got to be kidding,” I said. “We could die at any moment.”

  “What better time to make love then?” he asked, his tone utterly reasonable. “Why not grab what pleasure we can while we can? Why shouldn’t we have sex as if it’s for the last time, just in case it is the last time?”

  I had to admit, he had a point. We could sit here going over the things we’d fucked up in our lives, or we could go out in the midst of pleasure. However what he said next nearly had me running from him ... even if that meant going into the room with the smelly, headless Tragooms.

  Betra smiled at me, his eyes warm. “Dying might not be so bad if it happens in the embrace of the woman I love.”

  I stared and nearly obeyed that urge to hang with the Shit Twins. Finally I managed, “No, Betra. No.”

  His smile never faltered. “I’m afraid so, pretty Earther. I’ve tried to fight it, but sometimes the heart wants what it wants.”

  I jumped up and yelled at him. “Damn you! You stupid, fucking Kalquorian, don’t you dare! I refuse to love you, Betra. I refuse!”

  That damned Imdiko laughed at me. “I didn’t say you had to love me too, Shalia. I simply stated how I feel.”

  I have never wanted to strangle anyone as badly as I wanted to strangle Betra in that moment. “You’d better believe I’m not going to fall in love with you. I already went through that shit with men I couldn’t have. I’m not doing it again!”

  “I don’t want you to,” Betra said, his voice going soft and the smile slipping from his face. “The last thing I want to see is you hurt. Truly, Shalia. If I thought for a moment you might love me back, I’d insist they give you another liaison.”

  I stared at him, unable to figure any of this out. “Why? You aren’t making any sense to me, Betra.”

  He ducked his head and studied the floor between us like it was the most fascinating sight in the universe. “I’ve seen how much it’s hurt you to leave Clan Dusa behind. You’ve come close to making some bad choices because you fell in love with a clan that can’t have you. I can’t have you either, because I won’t join a clan. If you fell in love with me, it would only lead to misery for you. I can’t let that happen.”

  I blinked, my head still not wrapping around his rationale. “But you said you love me. What about you getting hurt? After all, I’m seeing Oses too. I’m ultimately supposed to join a clan on Kalquor. What does that do to you?”

  Betra shrugged. “It means I enjoy what I can have for as long as you’ll gift that to me. It means every second I get is precious, something to savor.” He frowned a little. “It also means that if I think you’re getting attached, I will push you away. You are not allowed to love me back. You have to find a clan worthy of you, one that will treat you right and help you raise your child.”

  “You don’t want to keep me for yourself?” I couldn’t believe that. Didn’t falling in love mean you had to have and keep a person no matter what?

  Betra’s gaze met mine. The look was hard, and his expression was set with determination as he shook his head. “I am only an Imdiko, one man. I am not enough to be all the things you must have, Shalia. I would never be so selfish as to deprive you of what you need.”

  I do not understand him. However, with death roaming the corridors I didn’t have time to try. In the end, I just wanted to pretend we weren’t inches away from dying.

  I also wanted to get that look off Betra’s face that told me he really had fallen in love. I couldn’t handle love. I could handle lust though, so I suddenly stripped. An instant later, I was on my knees in the position Oses had taught me: legs wide apart, hands behind my neck, boobs thrust forward, and my eyes cast down. I prayed it would shut the idiot up. Stupid Betra with all his talk of love and attempts to make something noble out of it. I think I hated him a little bit at that moment.

  I couldn’t see Betra’s face, but I was at eye level with his groin. Objectives achieved. Those stretchy pants were pitching a tent in a hurry, and he didn’t say anything else to make me want to punch him in the mouth.

  “Now that is lovely, pet,” the Imdiko said, his tone low and quiet. “What a sweet way to present yourself. Stay very still while I play with you.”

  I did as I was told, holding position while Betra cupped my breasts. His thumbs rubbed back and forth across the nipples, making them stiff. I had to remind myself to exhale, as my breath kept catching. How was it that his every touch felt like it happened to my clit rather than my tits? Ticklish heat trickled through me, making me wet and eager for whatever he would give.

  “I look forward to seeing these grow fuller as your pregnancy progresses,” Betra told me. “They are already quite delightful. It will be exciting to see how your body changes over the next few months.”

  I knew not to speak without permission. My duties were to be quiet and still unless directed otherwise. My body was also Betra’s to enjoy as he saw fit. As always, I felt excitement to give myself over to his control. Existing simply for another’s pleasure made things so easy.

  Betra rolled my nipples between fingers and thumbs. “I love seeing how your flesh darkens when you are excited, pet. Look how rosy these become. They are beautiful. Arch back as far as you can. I want to suck on them.”

  I did as I was told, my pulse quickening in anticipation of having his mouth on me. Betra’s dark head came into view, descending down to take possession. His eyes watched my face as he closed in on my left breast. I could hardly see the purple of his irises because his pupils had grown so huge.

  His mouth locked down on my breast. My liaison sucked hard on me, his tongue rubbing over the pebbled nub. A moan escaped my lips as a shock passed from his flesh, traveling deep into my core. A bright pulse flared within my guts. I trembled all over as Betra sucked hard and lashed my nipple with his scratchy tongue.

  He pinched my other nipple hard to send slivers of pain, a delicious juxtaposition to the pleasure the one in his mouth enjoyed. I jerked in reaction to the tumult building within me. My gasps ended with tiny whimpers.

  Betra watched as he turned crueler still. He released my breast, scraping his teeth across the surface of my skin to leave reddened streaks on my flesh, marking me. He tested my submission. While I moaned at the sting, I did not try to move away from the punishment. I saw the pleasure that lit his eyes at my obedience, and I felt glad.

  His fangs d
escended, the sharp points obvious behind his flatter teeth. He wrinkled his lips back as he homed in on my breast once more, advancing slowly to bite, letting me know it was coming. I shuddered as the hollow teeth dimpled my skin just above the areola, but once more, I did not draw back.

  Betra sank those two fangs into the soft flesh with deliberate slowness, letting me feel the pain of them driving into me. I shuddered and cried out, the stabbing pain immense for the brief seconds it lasted before the anesthetic properties of his saliva numbed it away. Then I waited as he fed his intoxicating venom into my bloodstream, which would make me all the more compliant to his every whim.

  The first wisps of pleasure wafted into my brain when Betra withdrew. He licked the wounds he’d left, tasting the tiny drops of blood that appeared. Then he sealed his lips over the bites, drawing hard on me to taste more of my life.

  My senses buzzed pleasantly a few minutes later when he left off that. My pussy had begun to ache, wanting attention too. As determined as I was to serve Betra, my greedy sex wanted to wrest control from me, to demand he sate my hungers. My laced fingers twitched at the back of my neck, wanting to reach for him, to rub the swollen crotch of his pants in the hopes of seducing him into filling me with his cocks.

  However, I remained still and pliant as the Imdiko bent his head to my other breast, filling him mouth to suck eagerly. With the little bit of venom he’d injected, I was even more sensitive and excited by his touch. Cries poured from my throat as the throbbing pleasure of him licking and sucking on me rolled in continuous waves from tit to clit.

  Once more, he marked me with his blunt teeth before letting fangs descend. Again, I was made to withstand the slow stabbing into my breast. This time the pain only aroused, making my pussy clench hard as Betra penetrated me with those tiny daggers. If he had touched my clit, I would have come for him then and there.

  I was swaying drunkenly when he stopped pumping me full of intoxicant. He had to put his arm around me to keep me from falling over as he tasted the blood from the newest set of bites he’d set on me.

  At last he finished feeding from those punctures. He sat back once more and looked me over. “How do you feel?” he asked.

  His face was just above mine, and it was a good thing because most of my vision had gone fuzzy around the edges. I blinked slowly at him, taking a few moments to remember that with Oses I was to keep my eyes cast downward. Oops. Fortunately, Betra wasn’t so demanding, but I still lowered my gaze.

  “I feel soft and light and happy,” I sighed to the Imdiko. “And horny. I can’t wait for you to fuck me.”

  He chuckled, probably not just because of what I said but how I said it. I slurred my words pretty bad. Betra had loaded me up.

  “Don’t worry, pretty pet. I will fuck you, but first I’m going to play a bit more.”

  “Do you think we have time? Those Tragooms might come and ruin our fun.”

  “I think Oses will keep that from happening. Be my good girl and sit as still as possible. Let me play with that wonderful pussy.”

  He kept a firm grip on my shoulder with one hand, keeping me upright. The other reached down. Fingers slid along my slit and I jerked as lightning zapped through my core.

  He smiled at me. “My goodness, this sweet pussy is so wet. You do want me to fuck you, don’t you?”

  “Yes,” I moaned. “I really, really do, Betra.”

  He rubbed back and forth, spreading my honey over my clit so that I cried out and thrust my hips forward. He also rubbed juices over my anus. “I bet you want to feel my cocks inside you. You’d like that, wouldn’t you Shalia?”

  “Yes. Please, Betra.”

  “In a little while. First I want to see what a good girl you can be for me. You have to let me play with you until I’m ready to fuck.”

  I whimpered. I didn’t want to bother with any foreplay beyond what we’d done. With the venom pouring through me, I was ready to get to the main event.

  Betra gave me a severe look, as if guessing where my thoughts were. “Behave, Shalia. If you don’t sit still and let me do as I wish, I will give you a painful spanking. I’ll see to it you don’t sit for a week. Then I will tie you up and prevent you from coming all day.”

  Tears stung my eyes. I gave him my most reproachful pout. He was being mean to make me suffer.

  “Poor baby.” Betra kissed the tip of my nose while letting his fingertips trace slow, lazy circles around my clit. I squalled to be teased like that. He chuckled. “I know. You’re going to be a good girl though. You will do whatever it takes to please me, and you will be pleasured the way you deserve for a reward.”

  Damned controlling Kalquorian. I knew it was his way or nothing. If Oses knew this side of Betra, he might not be so enamored with him.

  Still pouting, I said, “I’ll be good.”

  “That’s my girl. Now stay still. Maybe I won’t torment you too long if I feel like you’re really trying.”

  With that threat, he pushed a finger inside me. My breath caught and I shuddered from head to toe to feel him there.

  “By the ancestors, you’re eager,” Betra chuckled. “Your pussy is clutching so hard. You are not allowed to come until I tell you to, Shalia. If you do, not only will I punish you, but I will tell Oses and have him punish you as well. As head of discipline on this ship, you can well imagine how good he is at making people sorry they have broken the rules.”

  Even through the haze of the intoxicant, I whimpered. I did not want to know what someone as adept as Oses was capable of when it came to real discipline. His version of playful punishment had been extreme enough.

  Betra continued to finger-fuck me while teasing my clit until I shuddered all over from want. I had an awful time not moving myself against him to make that slow burn flare brighter. Then he added a second finger, crooking the tips against my G-spot to make me cry out.

  “Betra! Please let me come.”

  His smile was flat-out sadistic. “Not yet. Just stay right where you are and take it.”

  Throbbing need pounded from within as he rubbed that nest of nerves without mercy. I broke out in a sweat from the vicious pleasure twisting my gut in knots. “Please, Betra? I don’t think I can hold out.”

  “You’d better, little Shalia. Obey me or you’ll be sorry.”

  As if I wasn’t in enough torment, his thumb, which had been circling my clit all this time, rubbed right over it. The blast of carnal delight took me right to the edge of orgasm.

  “Betra! I’m going to come!”

  “Don’t you dare.” He stared me in the eye, his expression angry enough for me to claw control over myself. “You will not come until I say you can, Shalia.”

  I sobbed, tears pouring from my eyes as denied ecstasy gnawed at my sex with rat teeth. It hurt to not climax when it was so close.

  I begged and begged Betra to let me come for the next few minutes. I pleaded, bawled, screamed, cajoled ... I did everything I could think of to convince him to let me surrender to that clarion call of relief. Sometimes he chuckled and other times he ordered me to obey him and not come. Most of the time he didn’t respond at all. He kept looking into my straining face as he pounded his fingers in and out and rubbed my clit. He tried to make me disobey him, his will against mine.

  I’d reached the point where being punished by both Betra and Oses were no longer deterrents to me giving in to orgasm. At that point, only my wish to not disappoint my sadistic Imdiko lover kept me holding on far past the time when I should have given up. I knew he’d be disappointed if I gave in to my wants over his.

  Every girl has her breaking point, however. I reached mine. Somehow, Betra seemed to intuit that, because he pulled his hand free of me.

  I knelt before him shuddering and sobbing, unsure if it was relief or disappointment I felt. My insides clenched so hard I cramped with the pain of it.

  Betra stood. He opened the crotch of his uniform, and his cocks fairly bounced out of their tight enclosure. They hung rigidly in fro
nt of my face, glistening and engorged.

  Betra let me have a good look before ordering, “Turn around. On your knees and elbows, legs spread and ass in the air.”

  I lost no time in obeying him, not when he had that steely tone in his voice. I think he should be re-tested or whatever it is they do to determine a Kalquorian man’s breed. When it comes to sex, Betra is an awful lot like a Dramok.

  I felt him behind me, kneeling between my legs, wedging himself. The wet tip of his primary cock prodded my ass. It slid a little ways inside, spreading me open for its invasion. Then I felt Betra’s fist against my pussy as he guided the second cock to where it belonged. My breath caught as he pushed in about an inch.

  His hands closed around my hips, holding me in position for his use. “You still may not come yet,” he said.