Beloved in His Eyes (Angel's Assassin Book 3)

by Laurel O'Donnell

  Just the sight of him sent relief coursing through her. She almost trembled with it.

  His gaze moved over her. “Going somewhere?”

  She threw herself into his arms.

  He caught her and held her against him.

  His embrace was warm and comforting and strong. She sank into him, his rich male scent, his reassuring touch. He was all she could ever want. He had told her that he loved her. And she realized she loved him, also. Desperately.

  He kissed the top of her head, his hand stroking her back. “It’s over,” he whispered.

  She pulled back to look into his brown eyes.

  “Aurora’s cousin’s betrothed aided in the battle. His army surprised them from the rear. The Hungars were overtaken, either captured or dead.”

  “It’s over?” she repeated in disbelief.

  Gawyn nodded.

  She should have felt happiness, she should have felt relief, but the sadness lingered. “It doesn’t bring Adam back.”

  Gawyn shook his head. “We’ll give him a proper burial on the farm.” He closed his eyes for a long moment and dipped his head. When he looked at her again, there was anguish burning in his orbs. “I’m sorry, Justina. I brought you both here… I never thought –”

  She pressed her fingers against his lips, stopping him. “This isn’t your fault. How could you have known? How could I have known?” She shook her head. “It just doesn’t help the pain.” Her eyes watered as she looked up at him. “I miss him.”

  Gawyn nodded. “Me, too.”

  Justina looked down at Gawyn’s plate armored chest. She ran her hand over its cold hardness. “I have to go home.”

  Gawyn tightened his grip on her. “This is your home now.”

  Justina shook her head. “This can never be my home.”

  “Stay here. I’m sure there’s work you can do here. Aurora will find something.”

  Justina’s brows knit. “I can’t.” She looked up at him. “I can’t stay here.”

  “I want you to.”

  She placed a hand on his cheek. “I can’t. Not here with your brother. There is no justice for my father.”

  Agony swept over Gawyn’s face. “He’s not the same man.”

  Justina knew part of that savage killer still lived inside of Damien. She had glimpsed it when they returned Aurora to him. She softly shook her head. “He is when I look at him.”

  Gawyn looked away from Justina toward the stone floor, his brow furrowed with conflict and anguish. His hands slipped from her body. He nodded and stepped away from her.

  Cold invaded the space where his body had been. Justina wanted to reach for him. Instead, her fingers curled into fists.

  “Where will you go?”

  She couldn’t look at him, either. It was just too painful. She didn’t want to give him up, but she knew this was his home. At the castle. “I want to rebuild. Uncle Bruce would have wanted it.”

  He turned away from her. “I don’t like you being out there alone.”

  Justina grinned a humorless smile. “I’ll be fine.”

  “I’ll make sure you have adequate protection.” He nodded to himself. “I’ll send supplies with you and people to help you build.”

  “Gawyn,” Justina called. “I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for me.”

  Gawyn stared at her, and his slow gaze moved over her face.

  Sadness grew inside of her. She didn’t know if she could give him up. She loved him so. He was all she had left. Her family was gone.

  She was afraid, she realized. She was afraid of losing him, too. Better this than loving him and having him taken from her.

  She turned away, steeling her breaking heart, as he quietly left the room.

  Gawyn couldn’t make Justina stay. And he couldn’t leave. He had abandoned Damien long ago and he had vowed never to leave him again.

  He escorted Justina to the clearing before the city wall. Guards waited for her with the wagons of supplies Gawyn had collected near the forest. His hungry eyes swept her, trying to memorize every curve of her small body. He trembled with unease and want. He didn’t know what to say to her. With every part of his being, he wanted to go with her. He wanted to be part of her life as her husband.

  He would never propose marriage when he knew he could not be with her. He glanced over his shoulder. Damien and Aurora stood in the road. Aurora had insisted on coming to say goodbye to her and Damien would never let her out of his sight again, Gawyn was certain.

  Justina turned to them after inspecting the wagons. Her brown and white mare waited near the wagons. She looked at Gawyn for a very long moment, sadness in her large eyes. Then, her gaze shifted to Damien and the sadness vanished to be replaced with unease and fear.

  Gawyn knew she was not ready to forgive Damien, if she ever would be. He wished he could make her see that he wasn’t that killer anymore. There was nothing he could say or do to make Justina acknowledge that.

  Aurora stepped past him to Justina’s side. She stared at her for a long, quiet moment before wrapping her arms around her in a tight embrace.

  Justina stood stiffly for a moment before melting into Aurora’s hug and squeezing her back. The women shared an experience neither would forget.

  When they parted, Aurora brushed a strand of hair from Justina’s cheek. “You will visit again, won’t you?”

  Justina grinned. “Of course. Soon.”

  Everyone knew it was a lie. Gawyn’s heart squeezed tight.

  Aurora moved to Damien’s side.

  Justina approached Gawyn, her gaze on the ground. “I can’t thank you enough.”

  “Thank me?” Gawyn echoed. “Don’t.” He shook his head. “I did nothing.”

  She placed a hand on his. “You did all you could.”

  Gawyn stared at her small hand on his. He couldn’t stop himself from taking it into his own.

  “Come with me,” Justina whispered, her voice full and thick.

  Gawyn lifted her hand to his lips. “My place is here. In Acquitaine. At Damien’s side.” He realized how stiff and hurtful his words were and hugged Justina tightly. “I would give it all up for you, Justina. But I can’t. I can’t leave him. He’s my brother.”

  Justina held him, and a soft, broken sob echoed in his ears. She broke away from his hold and turned quickly, moving to her horse.

  Gawyn stood frozen, as if his entire heart had been wrenched from his chest.

  “You want to go with her?” Damien asked in astonishment. His brother now stood beside him, staring at him. “Back to her farm?”

  “My place is here with you.” He looked at his brother. He had left Damien on that accursed slave ship, abandoned him when they were children, and it had taken Damien a lifetime to forgive him. He would never make that mistake again. “I left you once and I won’t do it again.”

  “Good,” Damien murmured, unconvincingly.

  Gawyn looked back at Justina. He watched her walk away toward her steed and couldn’t help the longing and anguish that consumed him.

  Damien stared at the woman. He couldn’t even remember her name. He glanced at Gawyn. His brother’s eyes were fixed on her as though the sun rose and fell with her. Damien grimaced. What did he see in her? Part of this animosity was jealousy, Damien knew. He had just found Gawyn. He had just gotten his brother back and they had become friends. He depended on him more than he did with anyone else. How dare this woman come between them? He would not give him up.

  And then Aurora stepped up beside him, sliding her fingers through his.

  Damien looked at her. His entire body ached with longing for her. She was his sunshine, his life. He knew what life was like without her and he never wanted to live that life again.

  She stared at him with large, piercing blue eyes filled with sympathy, as though she understood what he was experiencing.

  Lord, he loved her. He loved her beyond reason.

  Suddenly, Damien snapped his gaze back to Gawyn. Understanding sliced th
rough the jealousy like a sharp blade. Gawyn loved Justina. And it was a moment later that Damien realized he did indeed know her name. Gawyn loved her maybe as much as he loved Aurora.

  Damien had been in darkness without her. And he didn’t want his brother to be in that world.

  Gawyn had saved him over and over again. It was time Damien returned the favor. He released Aurora’s hand and turned away from Gawyn as if heading back to the castle. “You’re fired.”

  “What?” Gawyn asked, shocked.

  Damien looked at Aurora. “I said…go and be a farmer.”

  Aurora’s lips turned up in proud satisfaction. She had known!

  Gawyn stood, dumbfounded.

  Damien knew he was doing the right thing, no matter how much he would miss his brother, no matter how much his heart hurt.

  “No,” Gawyn said. “I’m not leaving you.”

  Damien turned to him again. “It’s not another country. It’s on the border of Acquitaine.”

  Gawyn still shook his head, refusing. “I made that mistake before and I will not do it again.”

  Damien knew how much Gawyn regretted leaving him on the slave ship when they were young. It all seemed a different time, a different life. He put a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “I want you to be happy.”

  Gawyn’s brow furrowed in indecision and confusion.

  Damien squeezed his shoulder. “I’ll send word if I need you. I expect you to do the same. I officially relieve you of your command.”

  Gawyn’s intense gaze, a gaze filled with hesitancy and plagued with an internal struggle, focused on Damien.

  Damien felt Gawyn’s loyalty to his core, yet he felt his brother’s desire to be with the woman he loved. The two brothers stared at each for a long moment before Gawyn grasped Damien and pulled him into a tight embrace.

  Damien knew he was leaving. Missing Gawyn had already claimed a dark corner in his soul. Blood bound them, determination brought them together, and loyalty united them.

  Gawyn pulled back and looked Damien in the eye. A silent vow of brotherly love passed between them before Gawyn turned and raced after Justina.

  He caught up with her, grabbing her hand and spinning her around. He pulled her to him, kissing her tenderly.

  Aurora joined Damien, watching Gawyn. “I’ll miss him.”

  Damien nodded in agreement. He wrapped a hand around Aurora’s waist and pulled her to his side. Her warmth banished the darkness inside him.

  “Will you be all right?”

  Damien stared at Gawyn as he walked hand in hand with Justina toward the horse. He grinned. “I’d pay to see him working in the fields.”

  Aurora smiled. “She’ll teach him. He’ll be a grand farmer.”

  “A farmer with a sword.”

  “At least he will protect our border.”

  Damien turned to her in surprise. “Always thinking about yourself,” he teased, because that was always the last thing Aurora did.

  She entwined her hands around his neck. “You said I should start.”

  “And so you should.” He kissed her lips, tasting her, loving her. He would be forever grateful to Gawyn for bringing her back to him.

  As Damien and Aurora headed back to the castle, Damien turned one last time to watch his brother depart.

  Epilogue

  A week later

  Gawyn was breathing hard as he looked up from chopping the wood. Most of the wood they collected had fallen in the forest and they had dragged it back to the farm. He wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his arm and looked toward the forest where Justina was gathering bracken for the oxen beds. He scanned the edge of the forest but saw no sign of her.

  A tremor of unease coursed through him and he called, “Justina!”

  When no response came, he dropped the axe, moving quickly toward the forest.

  His heart skipped a beat when he reached the edge of the forest. He scanned the area for her, his instincts taking over. He had to tell himself she was in no danger, to calm himself. He knew brigands and robbers lurked in the woods near Acquitaine. Had one of them found their way to the farm? After the Hungar attack, it was difficult for him to be calm about her safety. When he didn’t find her, he glanced at the forest floor, searching. It was only a moment before he discovered a group of crushed leaves. Footprints. She must have been working here. He scanned the area until he found another trampled batch of leaves and brush.

  He saw the path then. It led into the forest. He carefully followed it deeper into the woods until the path disappeared. He froze, listening. No animal sounds. No birds call, no crickets, no noise.

  That was when he understood. He grinned darkly. It was all part of the game, part of the training. He had been trying to elaborate on her father’s teachings. It never hurt for her to be able to defend herself. He slowly turned to find Justina standing behind him, a dagger held to his throat.

  “You make it too easy,” she said softly.

  “You kicked the brush to hide your tracks this time.” Gawyn was proud of her for thinking of that.

  Justina smiled.

  Gawyn’s heart answered, missing a beat. He adored her. “Your feet are planted. It makes it easier to do this.” He blocked the hand with the dagger, grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to him in one, quick move.

  Her breath escaped in a rush.

  He stared down at her through lidded eyes. She was beautiful. Those large brown eyes, her windblown hair. He lifted a hand to tuck a lock behind her ear.

  Her chin came up. “Maybe I wanted you to do that.”

  Gawyn chuckled deeply. “I’m sure you did.” Her father taught basic skills on defense and survival, but Gawyn wanted to teach her everything he knew to keep her safe. “You must always keep your knees bent, your feet ready to move. You could have easily avoided my grab.”

  She wrapped her arms behind his neck. “Then I would have to do the chores.”

  Gawyn loved the way her lips moved, the feel of her body pressed close to his. “What else did you have in mind?”

  She took his hand and began to lead him back to their new cottage with a sly, sultry look on her face, a sexy tempting slant to her eyes.

  Gawyn followed her lead with exuberance and excitement. He never knew farming could be so thrilling.

  Suddenly, she stopped and turned to him. The look had vanished and there was sincerity in her lovely eyes. She put a hand on his chest. “Are you happy?”

  “I will be in a moment.” His manhood hardened at the thought of being with her.

  “No. I mean are you happy, here with me, on this farm?”

  Gawyn scowled, confused at her question.

  “You’ve given up so much. How could this compare with captain of the guard?”

  Gawyn understood. But she was thinking of this all wrong. It was she that had given up everything. Her uncle. Her brother. Her father. He cupped her face, gazing at her with anguished longing. He had given up far less than she. “I would be happy anywhere with you.”

  She sighed against him.

  He brushed his lips against her warm, soft ones.

  She tilted her head back. “What if I was a gong farmer?”

  Gawyn’s lips quirked in humor. “I would stand knee deep in shite to be beside you.”

  Justina traced the v in his shirt. “What if it was thigh high?”

  “Then I wouldn’t be able to walk.” He put his hands about her waist to draw her up against him. “But I would stand beside you.”

  “You’d be smelly.”

  “As would you.”

  Still, she didn’t look appeased; the frown etched into her lovely brow grew deeper.

  “Justina,” he whispered. “I would go anywhere to be with you, don’t you know that?”

  She looked down, a frown on her brow. “Why? This life is nowhere near as exciting as your life was. Why would you want to stay here?”

  He placed a finger beneath her chin and gently lifted so her gaze met his. “Don�
��t you know?”

  She shook her head. “Know what?”

  “You’re going to make me say it?” He sighed. “Yes. My life was exciting, and I lived in a grand castle and ate elaborate meals. But my heart was empty. I was lonely.”

  “Your brother –”

  “Is not the woman I love. You are much better to look at than Damien. Your eyes are beguiling.” He pressed a kiss to each of them. “Your hair is glorious.” He ran an adoring hand down the length of her locks. “Your lips tempting.” He lightly brushed his lips over hers. “You are lovely and exciting and…unexpected.” He pressed his lips to hers in a long, slow taste of her. “Can’t you see how much you mean to me? Can’t you see that I love you?”

  “You love me?” she echoed, hopefully.

  His lips quirked slightly. “I was waiting until you were more comfortable with my past, but I fully intend for you to become my wife.”

  “Your wife?” she asked, her eyes wide and twinkling.

  He scowled. “Of course.” He brushed a lock of her hair from her cheek. “But I mean it. I want you to understand who I was and what I have done.”

  She lifted her chin. “It doesn’t matter. Your past means nothing to me. Only the present and the future.”

  “But you can’t forgive Damien. How can you forgive me?”

  “You didn’t murder my father. And I don’t love him.”

  Gawyn stared at her. He longed for her acceptance and her love. He ached for all of her. “I don’t want you to ever regret the decision to be with me.”

  She stroked his cheek. “I love you and if you love me, there is nothing else to ask for.”

  Slowly, Gawyn grinned. She was amazing. And beautiful and intelligent. His heart filled with joy. “Then we’d best hurry to the cottage before I toss you to the ground and have you right here.”

  She giggled and turned, rushing through the tall grasses toward the cottage.

  Gawyn watched her for a moment, happiness cresting inside of him. She admitted she loved him. She would be his wife. He started after her, slowly at first, but then he was running.

  It was all he had ever dreamed of.

  THE END