Resisting Perfection (The Perfection Series Book 2)

by Rae, Nicki

  Piper

  My heart has leapt off this roof and shattered in a million pieces watching him ride away. How can he just walk away from me? I stood up for him. I believed in him when it seemed no one did. I guess the better question is why did I allow myself to be caught up in his life when I knew better? Phoebe told me this would happen but I wouldn’t listen. I promised to never allow my heart to be involved with a playboy, I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle the fall out. I wasn’t wrong. As I stand here watching him ride away with my heart, I have no fucking idea how I’m going to handle the heartbreak.

  I’ve never felt fear as deeply as when Frank had the gun trained on his head. I feared for his life and my heart was bleeding for him. My mind was racing for ways to make it stop or ways I could get the gun away from Frank. Then he just walked away from me, without as much as a goodbye. The tears haven’t stopped since he walked off this roof without a second thought. I want to scream and yell at him for thinking so very little of me. He is not going to do this to me. I will not allow it. I will not allow him to rip my heart in a million pieces and not think a goddamn thing about it! I am going after him and he is going to get his shit together and we will make it.

  Determination and pure adrenaline push me to begin the journey towards Fenton and our redemption. However, before I make it to the door, I am face-to-face with Frank.

  “This is what he does, Piper. He uses people to get what he wants and then walks away. This has been his way of life for as long as I can remember. Please free yourself from him and spare your feelings. You’re a good girl and I’d hate to see your heart broken because he is too selfish to care about one else.” As true as his words may sound, I can’t believe he is still saying these things about Fenton. I have nothing but disgust for this man. It is true Fent hasn’t handled this situation very well, but damn it, no one ever believes in him. Everyone makes him out to be awful before giving him a chance to prove them wrong. He always feels he’s being attacked, he doesn’t know how to act any other way.

  “How can you treat your own son this way? You talk about him using people but I do believe you were the one crying fake tears when my father asked you about your family. You never even flinched when you told us they were all dead. What type of person does that make you, Frank? I don’t know what happened after Danny died but I know the two of you should try to heal together instead of fighting and blaming each other. What could possibly have happened that was so bad that you couldn’t even comfort your own son? From what I’ve witnessed in him, just in the short time that I have known him, he was traumatized by what happened. Never once did I get the impression anything was done intentionally. I understand the shock of the situation may have been completely drowning at first but you two are family, you’re supposed to help each other through hardships.”

  “Piper, listen…”

  “No, I will not listen to you. I’m going to find Fent, to let him know that he has at least one person in this world that still cares for him,” I exclaim, shouldering past him.

  “You’re going to regret this, Piper.” The contempt in his voice rolls my stomach. I don’t know how someone I once had so much respect for now makes me sick to my stomach.

  “Is that a threat?” I ask without facing him.

  His laugh is sadistic and my blood runs cold. He walks up behind me, so close I can hear him breathing.

  “Everything Fenton loves dies, you would be wise to remember that,” he whispers in my ear.

  “I know you’re trying to scare me but I don’t give up easily. All you’ve succeeded in doing is fueling my need to help Fent and proving to everyone what an awful father you are.”

  “Why would you believe that drug addict is worthy of your trust?”

  “Fenton has never lied to me. He has always been himself which is more than I can say for you.”

  “If you want to keep your position with James, you’ll change your tone and think about what you are doing.”

  “Mr. James…Frank. I love my job at James but I will never work for a person who is as conniving as you.”

  “Well, I guess you can grab your things on the way out.”

  Panic soars through me as I realize that in the span of a few weeks time, I’ve found myself involved with a player and been hired and fired from my dream job. This is a very defining moment in my life and how I handle it will depict my future.

  “Mr. James, there is no question I love this company. In the short time I’ve worked here, I’ve learned so much. You’ve shown me how to relate knowledge and skill then how to apply it to daily work. You’ve taught me how to be a professional. I’ll admit, I’ll never be able to thank you for your guidance. However, I refuse to work for someone who has questionable morals. You may believe your relationship with Fenton is none of my business. You may believe he’s your son and you are free to treat him as you please. All of that may be true but I want no part of it. I’ve grown to care about Fenton and I can’t in good conscious sit back and watch you send him further down a path of destruction. You can argue all day that isn’t your doing but it is.

  “I want thank you for the opportunity to be a part of your company but you’ve left me no choice but to leave James.” My stomach drops as the words cross my lips. I’m in shock. I can’t believe I’m already walking away from this company. This company took a chance on a brand new architect and this company that gave me so much with while I had very little to offer in return. But I have no choice. I know how I operate and I won’t be able to live with myself if I stay at James. Even though Fenton has just walked away from me, I have to stand by my principles.

  I put one foot in front of the other as my strength begins to waver. I will not allow Frank to see any weakness. He thrives on it and I don’t want him to have the satisfaction of knowing I’m on the verge of breaking down.

  “Piper, if you walk out the door you will not be asked back,” he states, coldly.

  I take a deep breath and twist the door handle that leads to the hall and the next phase of my life while praying to God I am not making the wrong decision. Closing my eyes and summoning all the strength I can find, I open the door and walk away from the person who gave me the first opportunity of my brand new career.

  Once the door closes behind me, the sickness in my stomach begins to grow and I have to physically keep myself from vomiting. I can’t believe I just left my job for something as questionable as my relationship with Fent. Actually, I don’t even know if I have a relationship with him. Oh God, what if I’ve done all this for nothing? I want to run back out there and tell Frank I want to keep my job. But is that really what I want? Can I really live with myself if I continue to work side by side with Frank? I don’t think I can and that’s why I’m leaving.

  After mentally talking myself off the edge, I run down the stairs and through the lobby, hoping I can get out of here without anyone stopping me. Even though I believe in what I am doing, if someone stops me, I know I will break down.

  “Piper?” Jane calls from behind her desk. I can’t look at her as I need to get out of here. She has always been so nice to me but I need to be out of this building

  I slow my run to a brisk walk once I hit the sidewalk. It’s full of people so I keep my head down. I don’t want looks of pity when they notice my tear strained face. Now I understand what Fent meant when he mentioned not needing pity from anyone.

  I make it to my car and as I’m pulling out of the garage, I’m not sure where I need to be going. Will he go back to his comfort zone? Will he go to his bar? I decide he will probably want to drown his sorrows after the hell he has just gone through, so I drive in the direction of the bar.

  After driving a few minutes, I decide I need to let my sister know what’s going on, just in case something happens.

  “Hello?” Phoebe answers, after a few rings.

  “Hey,” I say, trying and failing to be nonchalant.

  “What’s wrong, Piper?”

  “Fent just went crazy on t
he roof of James, Phebes. I’m going to find him now but I’m worried about him. He wasn’t in the best state of mind so who knows what he may do. There is a reason why he is so deep but I will have to tell you about it later. I wanted to let you know where I am just in case something happens.”

  “Seriously, Piper? That is how you are going to leave it?”

  “I’m sorry, Phoebe. I know I need to explain and I will as soon as I can. I just have to find Fent and sort everything out.”

  “Ok Piper, but be careful.”

  “I will, Phoebe. Talk to you later.”

  The phone disconnects as I’m parking along the side of the road in the District. This place looks much different during the day. It’s desolate, which is also a representation of how my Fent feels. I sure hope he isn’t here. The feeling of self pity is thick and if he’s here, there is no way he can bring himself out of the depression he no doubt feels.

  I scan the street but don’t see his bike anywhere. That doesn’t necessarily mean anything, though. He could have parked in the back. After gingerly walking to the door and losing some of the adrenaline from earlier, I try to pull it open and nearly pull my arm out of socket. I stare in the window confused. I guess I hadn’t considered the bar wouldn’t be open. After releasing a long sigh, I back up against the wall, slide down and put my head in my hands. The stress of the day and the crash of adrenaline are finally catching up with me. I let the flood gates open and I don’t care who is watching. I don’t know if I am crying more for letting myself be caught up in something I knew was only going to break my heart or the fact that Fent is so sad and won’t let me help him.

  “…please let me help you, Fenton.” The female voice pulls my attention to the door. My hearts sinks as I watch her helping him to a car. He can barely walk. What the hell happened to him? I want to run to him and tell him everything will be ok. I want to tell him I forgive him for leaving me earlier and I’m in his corner. However, he clearly has someone else filling that space. Her hand massages his back as she talks softly to him. She’s comforting him. I should be comforting him. When his life is turned upside down, he should want me by his side. He doesn’t. He’s chosen someone else to heal his self-loathing. I only hope they can’t hear my heart shattering on the sidewalk.

  “Piper,” he slurs and I cover my mouth so the sob doesn’t escape. Confusion drenches me as I don’t know whether to go to him or allow his friend to continue helping him.

  “Piper isn’t here, Fent. Do you want me to call her?” the blonde asks.

  “No, she will cry and I don’t want her to cry anymore.” His words trail off in a silent path to my heart. I can no longer watch this woman help him while we both want to be by each other’s side. I finally stand and walk after them.

  “Fenton…” His name crosses my lips as a plea of devotion. Fent and his female friend stop as soon as they hear me. Fenton slowly turns and the anguish that crosses his face makes me sick to my stomach. I want to make it all go away for him but he won’t allow me the opportunity.

  We stand staring at each other for a moment. It’s evident we both want the same thing but are both too scared to take the next step. I wipe away the tear that escapes and feel that we are at a stalemate; neither of us wanting to make the first move in fear it will hurt the other.

  I had so much to say to him. I was so determined to make him stay with me. But should I try when he’s clearly with another woman? I don’t want to push myself on him if I’m not really what he wants. As much as those thoughts hurt, I will not beg him. I will not make myself out to be the fool who begs to be with a man who doesn’t want to be with her.

  My head begins pounding. I can’t stand here analyzing this situation any longer, while he’s here with another woman. My stomach turns as I fear the worst. He was using me. The whole time we were together, he was only leading me on. Bile rises in my throat at the possibility. Before I make a bigger fool of myself, I walk back to my car. I’m just about to open the door when he calls my name. I tell myself not to look back. I need to walk away from him but my heart won’t allow it. Against my better judgment I turn to him, maybe for the last time.

  The tears begin falling steadily when he extends his arms for me to come to him. After seeing him with her, this gesture surprises me. I’ve been yearning for his touch but I thought we were over. I thought I would never feel his body next to mine again.

  Before I move, I seek his friend’s approval but she’s backed away from him. This makes me feel better. Upon further inspection of her, she seems familiar. I know her from somewhere but can’t seem to remember where. My head is clouded with Fenton, so my realm of thought is unable to move past him at the moment.

  “Piper, please?” he asks quietly, pulling my attention back to him. Without another thought, I run to him. Not walk, run. He’s caused so much turmoil the last hour but the second he calls out to me, I run to him. No hesitation.

  He wraps his strong arms around me and I melt into him. I’ve never been happier than this moment. His scent consumes me and even though it’s slightly thick with alcohol, I feel at home. We have so far to go but I tighten my arms around him vowing to put forth as much effort as it takes to make this man know how much he means to me.

  “Piper, I have to go,” he whispers.

  “Ok, let’s go. I will help you to my car.” I brace myself, waiting for him to lean against me to walk to the car. His eyes soften but he doesn’t move and it confuses me a little.

  “No, sweet Piper. I have to go on my own. You heard Frank. I’m no good for you. I can’t allow my past to ruin your future. You deserve better.” I can’t be hearing this right. Why is this happening again? My heart was only beginning to mend and he’s ripped it out again. It begins pounding out of control before I pull away from him in anger.

  “You are not walking away from me again, Fenton James. I came to tell you I believe in you and regardless of your past, I want to be with you. I will not allow you to do this to me.”

  “This decision was not easy for me but it has been made. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m so happy that I know you but I don’t even deserve your friendship. Please don’t worry about me. I have someone who will take good care of me.” He pulls his female friend to his side and I want to punch her in the face. Hell, I want to punch both of them in the face.

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now, Fenton? A little bit of drama presents itself and you pluck the nearest woman who will give you the time of day. You know what? You make me sick. I can’t believe I allowed myself to get involved with you.” He closes his eyes but not before they fill with anguish. Good! That’s what he gets. He needs to understand how much he’s hurt me. I want him to feel the pain I’ve been feeling. But as sure as the thought crosses my mind, I know it’s not true.

  “Fenton, I believed in you, I believed in us. When everyone else wouldn’t, I did. How can you just walk away like what we had was nothing?”

  “Because it wasn’t,” he says, sticking the knife in and turning it for pleasure. My breath catches and I grasp my chest. Agony rips though me as the two of them turn and walk away from me. Fent’s friend peaks back over his shoulder and mouths sorry, as if that makes me feel better. It doesn’t. It makes me feel cheap, like yesterday’s trash. Then I notice the tears sliding down her cheeks while she helps him into the car and I grow confused. Why would she be crying? She’s won. The prize we’ve emotionally jousted for is sitting in her car right now and she is apologizing to me and crying. I don’t get it.

  As she walks around to get in the car, I notice she drops a piece of paper. I contemplate telling her she dropped it but I can’t speak. I’m numb as I watch her walk away with the man that has turned my world upside down.

  She opens the door and looks at me with a sad smile before getting in and it makes my blood boil. How dare she look sad when I am the one that is getting kicked in the teeth for believing in someone who very clearly doesn’t deserve it? As they begin to
pull away, I look to Fenton and he is staring straight ahead; the coward doesn’t even try to look at me. They drive down to the corner stop sign then turn, traveling further away from the happiness that has been my life for the last few weeks.

  I turn back to my car and wipe the tears while trying to figure out what just happened. I thought there for a moment he was coming back to me. I laugh at myself as I realize I never really had him to lose in the first place. I think he may have liked the idea for a while but the thought of actually being with one person was too much for him to handle. It’s just as everyone told me. He used me for a while and now that he’s had his fill, he’s finished with me.

  Thinking those words make me so angry with myself for getting involved with him. Then, for some reason I remember the paper she dropped and wonder if I should even bother. Could that paper have anything that could change how I feel right now? Does it even have anything to do with me? I take a deep breath before deciding I need to know what it contains. Finally, I walk over, pick up the paper and unfold it slowly as I am a little afraid to see what is inside.

  Sweet Piper,

  Please don’t hate me.

  Yours always,

  Fenton Scott James

  My eyes close as the burn takes over again. I didn’t think my heart could possibly hurt anymore. Why did he do this to me? Why did he have to leave me this stupid note? This stupid, beautiful, sweet note. What does it mean? Why couldn’t he leave and let me believe he hated me? That would’ve been so much easier. My first thought is to rip the paper in a million pieces, symbolizing what he did to my heart. I can’t because it’s the last piece of him I have. It’s the only piece of hope I have left.