Star Witch (The Lazy Girl's Guide To Magic Book 2)

by Helen Harper

  Something occurred to me. ‘You knew all along, didn’t you?’ I said in wonder. ‘When you sent Winter and me here, you knew it was a necromancer.’

  ‘I suspected. I didn’t know for sure. And, regardless of his praise for you, you are not here because Adeptus Exemptus Winter wanted you.’

  I felt my body tense. ‘Go on.’

  ‘It is imperative that the necromancer is stopped. Unfortunately, from what we understand, that is easier said than done. Philip Maidmont, the librarian who I’m sure you remember, has been diligently at work trying to discover the best course. There is only one method detailed in the Cypher Manuscripts and it is not going to be easy.’

  I snorted. ‘Tell me something I don’t know.’

  The Ipsissimus didn’t smile. ‘Fair enough. Necromancy is a powerful art. It can consume the user, adapting and changing almost at will to suit its own needs. Not for nothing is it considered the blackest magic. Once its power is released, it is nigh on impossible to rein it in.’

  Frowning, I tilted my head. ‘But it can be done, surely? How was it halted last time?’

  ‘The Great Kanto Earthquake.’

  Huh? A faint smile crossed the Ipsissimus’s face at my obvious confusion. ‘Tokyo, 1923. It started with one necromancer and it ended with a death toll of more than 140,000 people. Not to mention the near destruction of an entire capital city.’

  I sucked in a breath. ‘Oh. That’s … bad.’ I was horribly aware of how much of an understatement my words were.

  ‘Indeed. While we are blessed that our little hell raiser, whoever they may be, has decided to undertake their evil work in a rural setting, we can still expect considerable damage. Necromancy feeds on itself,’ he explained. ‘It thrives on death and it is a demanding mistress.’

  I paced over to the window and glanced out. The Enchantment set was like a ghost town. Mazza ambled from one side to the other with a sad expression on his face. I couldn’t see another soul, no matter how badly Morris Armstrong might want filming to continue.

  ‘Keep going,’ I said grimly. I turned back to the Ipsissimus. ‘There’s a reason you’re telling me all this and not Winter, so you might as well let me know what it is.’

  For one fleeting breath, I thought he looked guilty. Then he raised his chin and met my gaze head-on. ‘Indeed. Either the necromancer must be killed before he grows too strong, or the magic must be halted before it can overtake him. Maidmont thinks he has found a way to neutralize the power. There is an incantation which, if performed by a highly capable witch, is likely to stop the magic in its tracks. I believe you possess that capacity.’

  ‘What’s the catch?’ Because there was always a catch. Always.

  At least the Ipsissimus didn’t beat around the bush. ‘The side-effects of doing such a thing are catastrophic. As far as we can tell, the witch who performs the incantation will be forced to absorb the necromantic magic themselves. In all likelihood, it will destroy them, body and soul.’

  Now we were at the crux of the matter. ‘You want me to do this. You want me to sacrifice myself.’

  His answer was simple. ‘Yes.’ He paused. ‘I am sorry. I do like you, Ms Wilde, despite what has gone on in the past. It is a shame that you are not in the Order. I think you could have done great things.’ He met my gaze. ‘Of course, if you can kill this rogue witch in time then the incantation may not be required.’

  I swallowed. Killing another human being wasn’t usually in my daily planner. Not that there was ever anything in my daily planner. But if it meant stopping the loss of life on a grand scale, there really wasn’t any choice to make. Unfortunately the same went for the incantation. If it were the choice between destroying myself and destroying half of Scotland, I’d have to step up to the proverbial plate.

  I didn’t bother suggesting that Winter should do it. He possessed just as much magic as I did, but he was in the Order and I wasn’t. I was expendable. That might have rankled if it weren’t Winter. I would do this for him. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself otherwise.

  ‘How will we know?’ I asked quietly. ‘How will we know whether there’s still time to neutralize the magic?’

  ‘He has already raised two undead creatures. If a third one is brought from its grave then it’s too late. But it takes time to maintain that kind of energy, especially between the first few raisings. There may be a day’s grace.’

  Except a day wasn’t very long at all. And the Ipsissimus didn’t sound very convincing. ‘You don’t think it’s likely. You think it’s already too late.’

  ‘I do.’

  I sighed. ‘In truth, we might not know if there’s been a third raising, even if we find the necromancer.’

  ‘It’s death magic,’ the Ipsissimus said. ‘If you can find the bastard in question, spill some of their blood and it remains red in colour, his or her death will be all that’s required. If their blood is tinged with black then it’s too late. If you can’t get close enough to draw blood…’

  ‘Then the incantation should be performed anyway,’ I finished. The risk would just be too great not to. I didn’t like the odds of coming through this unscathed.

  He knitted his hands together. ‘I am glad you see what must be done.’ His expression didn’t change. ‘I need to know if you can do this, Ms Wilde.’

  I laughed humourlessly. ‘What’s the choice?’

  ‘Other than Adeptus Winter? Me.’ He gestured at himself. ‘I’m the only other witch in the vicinity with the capability. The other Third Levels who can do it are making their way here with all due haste, but I don’t think they’ll arrive in time.’ His voice was filled with frustration. ‘We’re in the middle of nowhere.’

  He sat down heavily. ‘Raphael Winter has it in him to be Ipsissimus one day and he will be a damn good one. He has both the integrity and the ability. But that day is not today. I’m not convinced that there are any Third Level witches who could manage it either.’

  I understood what he wasn’t saying. ‘If you do it and you die in the process, the Order will be thrown into chaos. Things are unstable enough as it is.’

  He sighed. ‘Yes. Maybe in a year or two we will have made enough inroads into changing our laws and structures to manage my … abdication. However, I am deeply concerned about what would happen without a strong and ethical successor already in place. After what happened with Adeptus Diall and Price, the next Ipsissimus must be appointed with great caution.’

  I nodded. The Ipsissimus wasn’t simply worried about his own skin. I’d already experienced first hand what problems a bunch of ambitious Order witches could create. The wrong person in charge could set the whole place alight – and not in a good way. Those witches needed a strong hand and, despite what had gone on in the past, I did believe the man in front of me was that person.

  I pushed back my hair. ‘I can do this,’ I told him. ‘I will do this.’

  The Ipsissimus reached over and took my hands. ‘I believe you. It might not come to your sacrifice—’

  ‘But if it does, I know what to do. Give me the incantation.’

  He released his hold on me and reached inside his coat, drawing out a rolled-up scroll. He handed it over without a word; he was sensible enough not to express his thanks. I wasn’t a martyr just yet. I took the scroll from him and stuffed it down my dress. The paper was itchy against my skin but at least the leather corset was enough to manage to conceal the bulge.

  ‘I need to find the other Order witches. We’re going to try to triangulate our magic to see if we can locate any power surges in the area. It’s a long shot but we have to try something.’ The Ipsissimus passed a hand over his eyes. ‘This is so fucked up.’

  Startled by his swearing, I flashed him a smile. ‘Hey, it’ll be fine. We’ll find out who the necromancer is and turn them into a corpse long before I need this. No problemo.’

  He didn’t smile back. ‘I’m counting on you.’ He paused. ‘We all are.’

  Chapter Nineteen


  I gave myself a moment after the Ipsissimus left and then, telling myself that it was only because I had to save the world, I made my way outside. Both Brutus and Winter were there, seemingly in the middle of some kind of argument.

  ‘She needs peace, Brutus. She needs to sleep.’

  ‘Food.’

  ‘I’ll get you food. Just let me check on Ivy and then I’ll find you some tuna or something.’

  Brutus yawned and raised a paw in my direction. ‘Food.’

  I shrugged at him. ‘I don’t have any. I’d suggest you go to your new friend for some but I suppose he’s still being interrogated.’

  Winter turned in surprise then gave an irritated frown when he saw me. ‘You need to lie down. I can handle the investigation.’

  I smiled at him. ‘I’m not going to let you steal all the glory, buster. Not after all this work.’

  He wasn’t appeased by my light-hearted answer. ‘I won’t have you collapsing on me, Ivy. You look bloody awful.’

  ‘Well, thank you very much.’

  He gritted his teeth. ‘It’s not a criticism.’

  I crossed my arms. ‘It sounded like it.’ I couldn’t let Winter bundle me back off to bed. Not now. ‘You keep complaining that I’m too lazy. Now I’m taking action and you’re still complaining. I can’t win.’

  He drew in a breath as if unsure of himself. ‘I’m worried about you.’

  I waved an airy hand around, hoping I didn’t look as nauseous or exhausted as I felt. ‘I’m absolutely fine.’ I pulled my shoulders back. ‘We can’t hang around. We have to find who’s behind this.’

  Winter’s eyes narrowed. ‘You must have hit your head. This definitely isn’t the Ivy Wilde I know.’ I let out a fake laugh, which only served to increase Winter’s suspicions. ‘What’s going on, Ivy? What exactly did the Ipsissimus want?’

  I had a ready-made answer – and one which I was sure would prevent Winter from probing further. ‘He asked me to join the Order. Said that I’d done enough to prove myself and that I’d be welcomed in with open arms. I wouldn’t even have to begin at Neophyte again.’

  He stared. ‘And you want to do this? I thought you were determined not to go near the Order with a barge pole.’

  ‘I am. And that’s exactly what I told him. He said that if I helped you find the necromancer and put a stop to his crimes, he would leave me in peace.’

  Of course there was no logic to what I’d just said. That was why I reckoned it would work. If I came up with a more rational reason for not hiding under a duvet when I’d been given permission to do just that, Winter would continue to question what I was doing. Instead, he’d spend so much time puzzling about it that he’d stop asking.

  Just in case, I rushed ahead. ‘We need to go and speak to Bellows. If Belinda and her vial have been ruled out, he’s the only other person who’s got any reason to be dodgy.’ My mouth flattened into a grim line. ‘And from those photos, he’s dodgy as hell.’ I swung a side look at Winter. ‘Has Belinda said anything about them?’

  He was silent for a moment, as if he still wanted to ask more about the Ipsissimus and my reasons for springing up from my sick bed. Fortunately, his inner investigator took over. ‘Our focus was on the vial. The photos, distasteful as they are, don’t seem pertinent to necromancy.’

  ‘No,’ I agreed. ‘But they are pertinent to being a bastard.’ I still didn’t think Bellows was the bastard witch we were looking for but there were few other options at this point. ‘Where’s Tarquin?’

  Winter stilled. ‘Why?’

  ‘He’s obviously good friends with Moonbeam. I imagine he has insights into all this which we can only guess at.’

  Winter was only slightly appeased. ‘Unless he’s gone with the others, Tarquin’s probably around here somewhere. Many witches are. They’re using tracking spells to see if they can work out where the zombie came from.’ His expression was grim. ‘Not to mention making sure there aren’t any more of the damn things anywhere.’

  I frowned. ‘Gone where with the others? What others?’

  ‘Other than Armstrong, everyone else in the crew has been shipped back to Tomintoul. No matter what Armstrong wants, it’s pretty certain that Enchantment is finished.’

  ‘Rampaging zombies are just a bit too much even for reality television?’

  ‘It appears so.’

  I sniffed. After what had happened to Benjamin Alberts, they were lucky that no one else had died. Yet. All the same, it was a bit of a shame that my television career was probably over before it had barely started. I wondered if they’d use the footage of me after I died saving the world. I shouldn’t have played the bitchy role like Barry wanted me to; post-mortem montages of yours truly would be much more effective if I looked like I was a nice person. Oh well.

  Then a thought struck me. ‘Wait a minute,’ I said slowly. ‘Everyone involved with Enchantment apart from Armstrong is back in Tomintoul?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Then why did I see Mazza strolling around when I looked out of the window?’

  Winter’s blue eyes darkened. ‘The runner?’

  I nodded, feeling the sudden chill fingers of dread tap down my spine.

  ‘Where was he?’ There was a sudden urgent edge to Winter’s voice.

  I tried to think. Pointing to the side, I drew an imaginary line. ‘He was walking from there over to there.’

  A muscle throbbed in Winter’s cheek. ‘There are supposed to be Order witches guarding the entire perimeter. How the hell did he manage to avoid them?’

  ‘Let’s apportion blame later, shall we? We need to find out where he is.’ My tone hardened. ‘Right now.’ I took off in the direction where I’d seen Mazza and almost immediately regretted moving so quickly. My head swam and I was forced to take several shallow breaths to avoid passing out.

  ‘Ivy…’

  ‘I’m fine.’

  Brutus shot out in front of us, scampering across the clearing at full speed. I blinked. I’d never seen him run before, not since he was a kitten anyway. I exchanged a quick glance with Winter and then took off after my cat with my fingers crossed. I was going to look mightily stupid if he’d just decided to chase after a woodland mouse.

  Fortunately, Winter also seemed to believe that Brutus was onto something. In less than a few heartbeats he overtook me, sprinting towards the tree line. I quashed my trepidation at the thought that the shy runner was out there with a zombie just waiting to chomp on him, and tried to keep up. Not surprisingly, I couldn’t. I slowed down in an effort to reserve some energy – not to mention to avoid throwing up – and did what I could to keep Winter in sight. At least the river was over in that direction so there was a natural barrier.

  Winter had just disappeared behind a tree when I heard a strangled shout. Muttering a curse, I picked up speed again, reaching him – and Mazza – just in time. Winter had grabbed the kid by the throat and was holding him at arm’s length whilst Brutus hissed repeatedly.

  ‘Is it you?’ Winter demanded. ‘Is it you raising the dead?’

  Mazza’s eyes bulged. ‘What? No! I didn’t have anything to do with that!’

  I eyed him. He seemed more scared than anything else. But was that scared because he’d finally been found out or because he was being falsely accused? It was imperative we learned the truth.

  ‘Let him go, Rafe,’ I said softly.

  Winter glared then did as I asked, releasing his grip. Mazza staggered backwards and rubbed his neck vigorously. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ he croaked.

  I stepped forward. ‘We’re looking for a very dangerous person, Mazza. Someone who might not even realise how much of a danger they are. All the other crew members are back in town. Why are you still here?’

  He mumbled something under his breath.

  I leaned forward, ignoring Winter’s bristling fury. ‘I didn’t catch that. Say it again.’

  ‘Amy.’

  I squinted. ‘Pardon?’

  ‘Amy lost her necklac
e out here. I was looking for it.’

  Winter was incredulous. ‘After the carnage that happened here, you thought you’d come back to look for some girl’s stupid necklace?’

  I put my hand on his arm. ‘Did she ask you to come and do this?’

  Mazza wouldn’t meet my eyes. ‘No.’

  ‘How did she lose it?’

  He shrugged. He was growing redder and redder by the second. ‘Dunno.’

  ‘How did you get back here from Tomintoul?’

  ‘I never left. I didn’t get on the bus.’ For all his embarrassment and awkwardness, he was being remarkably recalcitrant.

  Winter folded his arms across his chest. ‘You’re lying.’

  ‘Wh – what?’ Mazza stammered. ‘I’m not! Amy lost her necklace and I want to find it for her.’

  ‘He is sweet on her,’ I remarked.

  The glow on Mazza’s cheeks intensified. ‘She’s a nice person!’ he said, as if daring me to argue with him.

  ‘Yes, she is. But you’re still lying about something, Mazza.’

  He glared at me. ‘I’m not.’

  I tapped my foot impatiently. There really wasn’t time for this. Whatever he was doing out here, there was next to no chance it had anything to do with zombies. Maybe he was just looking for Amy’s necklace in a bid to impress her. Stranger things had happened.

  Brutus, sensing my irritation, jumped up and sauntered over. He circled round Mazza like a predator, sniffing as he went. Then he sat back on his haunches and washed his face. ‘Blood,’ he said.

  Mazza screeched, ‘That cat just spoke!’

  I ignored him and focused on Brutus. ‘Blood? You’re sure?’

  Brutus continued to wash himself as if he’d already given us every possible answer we could want.

  A dangerous smile lit Winter’s lips. ‘Where’s the blood from, Mazza?’ he asked silkily. He sounded far scarier now that his voice was low than he had when he’d been shouting.

  ‘I… I…’ Mazza’s eyes darted from side to side as if he were expecting someone to appear and rescue him. Just to be sure, I glanced around as well. The Ipsissimus had said we had at least a day before we could expect another zombie but that didn’t mean the impossible couldn’t still happen. When there wasn’t even the faintest rustle of leaves, I relaxed.