The Diaries of Sofia Tolstoy

by Cathy Porter

  22nd. The house was cleaned and I tidied my Lyovochka’s rooms myself. He is always in my thoughts, and I am glad to be able to live on in this house as if he was still here. Nyuta and I played Haydn’s 20th Symphony, which I used to play with Lyovochka. I painted wooden dolls for my grandchildren, who will soon be here.

  24th. 27–30° of frost. 18° this evening, but windy. I did some copying on the Remington for my daughter Tanya. I also wrote her a letter. Then I read ‘The Forged Coupon’.* What a lot of murders! It is painful to read.

  25th. Christmas. Alone with Yulia. I walked on my own to the grave, weeping and praying. I entered the library books into the catalogue (the returned ones), gave the peasants presents and worked hard on my memoirs for 1895, the year of Vanechka’s death. It’s strange, when I go back to the past, even the painful times, I stop living in the present and live entirely in my memories—they’re so vivid, they’re almost real.

  26th. Dushan Makovitsky was here. I worked all day on my memoirs, preparing material for each month. 13° of frost, slight snow. They’re doing a performance in Telyatinki of Poverty’s No Sin, and everyone is hurrying over to see it.

  29th. We are decorating the Christmas tree and listening to the gramophone, which I dislike very much.

  31st. I was busy with the children and the Christmas tree, and talked to Ilya. Such a depressing year—yet I’m still alive! Cold wind and a blizzard, so Sonyushka and Ilyushok couldn’t come. Ilya’s elder sons didn’t come either, and the Christmas tree and New Year’s party were dreadfully unexciting. So much sadness—not to speak of Sasha’s estrangement; she must be lonely surrounded by strangers. Sonya went to visit her in Telyatinki.

  1912

  An increasing number of strikes, including a large one at the Lena goldfields, in which workers are shot.

  Sasha Tolstaya receives 120,000 rubles for the copyright on Tolstoy’s posthumous works, and 28,000 rubles for the exclusive licence to publish a complete edition of his works. More conflicts with Sofia (who has already produced eight editions of Tolstoy’s works). Excerpts from Sofia’s My Life (covering the years 1862 to 1901) published.

  2nd January. The two Ilyas, my son and grandson, have left, and 33 women students arrived from St Petersburg; I myself showed them around the house, 11 young ladies at a time. Then I worked on my ‘Memoirs’ (My Life). For the time being I am still collecting material. This evening I pasted newspaper cuttings and read.

  4th. I worked hard on my Memoirs and finished the material for 1895. This evening I made notes of all the books that had been returned to the peasant library. The whole business has become disastrously muddled. Silence, nobody here.

  7th. I wrote my ‘Life’ for 1895. I kept having to stop and weep as I described Vanechka’s illness and death, and all the terrible things I experienced at that time.

  19th (Moscow). Visited the Tolstoy Museum, where there were some English guests.* Prince Dolgorukov gave a speech, and an Englishman replied beautifully in French. The young lady typist came and I dictated my memoirs to her.

  24th. Ilya came, I gave him 1,000 rubles. He is pathetically poor, and blames everyone else for his poverty. I wrote to V.N. Kokovtsov thanking the Tsar for my pension.*

  29th. More negotiations about the sale of the editions. We hope to win Sasha and Chertkov over, but I don’t think we will, for they are devising all sorts of traps to make me recognize Sasha as the heir to all her father’s writings—even those in the Historical Museum. I dictated to the typist again.

  7th–13th February. We are exhausted by all these promises to buy my edition and bring Sasha to some agreement with the publishers. And of course Chertkov spitefully interferes with everything. I read three books, two French and one Russian—Fonvizin’s Two Lives, which wasn’t bad. I went to three art shows and three concerts: two were recitals by the Czechs, who played magnificently, especially the Beethoven quartets. Taneev’s quintet was also very good, but hard to understand at once. He played himself. I also went to Wanda Landowska’s concert. She played marvellously, both the harpsichord and the piano. I am indifferent to everything, I died with my Lyovochka! But it seems I shall have to bear my healthy body for a long time yet!

  15th. I did a lot of work on the village library. It’s hard to put it all in order, and I got Vasily Orekhov from the village to help me. What an extraordinarily backward lad! Dushan Makovitsky came and checked his memoirs from my notes.

  23rd. I copied Lev Nik.’s notebook for 1908. I endlessly relive the past. There is no present, nothing excites me, nothing consoles me. It’s a most unpleasant spring. Fog all morning, then it cleared, but the wind was terrible, a real tempest. The barometer is at zero. I read nothing but the Gospels these days.

  27th. A large crowd of strangers unexpectedly arrived to see the grave and take a look at the house and Lev Nikol.’s rooms. I showed them round myself and talked to them.* Some had come from the Chertkovs, and heard some bitter truths from me. I went to the grave and decorated it with roses, primulas, stocks and hyacinths—it looked beautiful. I read a lot about Herzen today. Yulia has left for Moscow and I am alone here at Yasnaya. I worked again on my memoirs for 1896, but there is very little material and I remember almost nothing.

  28th. I read letters from my children for 1896 as material for my memoirs. Andryusha unexpectedly arrived; I was delighted to see him and spent the rest of the day with him. It’s sad to realize that not one of my children is happy, and they are all short of money.

  29th. There were some workers from the Brashnin factory here, some women teachers and various other visitors. Their attitude to L.N.’s memory and to me was very touching. I stayed up late writing My Life. I am sitting on my own, with a frightful wind howling outside.

  4th April. Went with some workmen to the forest to visit the grave, and had a very pleasant talk with them. This evening I played the piano and wrote a little.

  6th. News of the death of Lev Nik.’s sister Maria Nikolaevna. How sad! I wrote to her daughters Varya and Liza, and to Tanya and Lyova. I have finished working on 1896. It was very painful to write about it. Last night I dreamt of Lev Nikol.; he was walking along the street straight towards me, gazing seriously into the distance, and as he got closer he melted away.

  9th. I gave 77 Yasnaya Polyana schoolchildren 3 yards of calico, which I received from Burylin in Ivanovo-Voznesensk. It was a joy to see so many children and I wanted to give them a treat.

  10th. I took fresh flowers to the grave, then read an article about my sister-in-law Maria Nikolaevna.* It was well written and affectionate. She had prayed away all her sins, lucky woman!

  11th. I went to Tula, and met my sons Ilya, Misha and Seryozha at the Chernyshevsky Hotel; they are all wretchedly poor. They told me about Maria Nikolaevna’s touching death and funeral.*

  21st (Moscow). My daughter Tanya and her family left early this morning, I received 100,000 rubles for the books, sent my sons some money and gave Tanya a bank draft for 20,000. I stayed with my brother Sasha and my sister Liza, and left for St Petersburg this evening.

  22nd (St Petersburg). I was met in St Petersburg by my son Lyova, who took me to his house on Tavricheskaya. The darling children were there, and I had a delightful time with them all. I was glad to see my sister and her husband too.

  26th. Wrote to Kasso, Minister of Education, about the manuscripts.*

  28th. Half the day in the train, the other half at home in Yasnaya, where I arrived at 8 this evening. Three artists are here, Orlov, Saltanov and Yulia Igumnova.

  5th [May]. Spent the whole day copying my 50th-wedding-anniversary article on the Remington. A worrying letter from my sister, who wants to spend the summer with me in Yasnaya.

  15th (Moscow). Andryusha and I tidied the Khamovniki house, deciding what was to go to the Stupin warehouse, what was to be sold and what would go to Yasnaya. How sad that everything is coming to an end—the beautiful old life has died, and it won’t be continued by the children.

  21st (Yasnaya Polyana). 80
women students came with Professor Valentin Bochkaryov. They took an interest in everything and walked to the grave, then went off to Telyatinki. I too went to the grave this afternoon and planted it with forget-me-nots and other flowers. This evening I copied some documents to send to the Senate.

  27th. A mass of visitors all day. Unpleasantness with the gardener, the assistants and the visitors.

  2nd June. I am rereading Pascal’s Pensées.* Books and ideas like these are good, and help to explain our inner spiritual life.

  16th. Sasha arrived with her companion Varvara Mikhailovna. We are friends again, thank God!

  22nd. The surveyor Korotnyov brought an estimate for the forest and the parts of Yasnaya Polyana that will be left after the sale.*

  28th. In Nikolskoe for Seryozha’s name day and 49th birthday. My sister Tanya came too, and my daughter-in-law Sonya, and Varya Nagornova with her son, daughter and grandson. Sonya and Tanya sang and everyone sang together, then Tanya danced with Orlov the artist. His whole family was here, and we had a good-natured, cheerful time. We all went for a walk. The day was marred by a distressing discussion with Sonya about money.

  5th [July]. More distressing discussions this afternoon about Lev Nik.’s flight and his relations with Chertkov. My sister Tanya’s husband is very wise and sympathetic in his judgements. I wish I could say the same for Tanya; she is much changed.

  6th. The peasants from the new settlements came here: 23 households were burnt to the ground. I gave 10 rubles to each family and waived their rent for the rest of the year.

  8th. This morning I received various visitors who had come to see Lev Nikol.’s rooms, and wasted time chatting to them. This evening the Kuzminskys and I read aloud Snegiryov’s letter to me.*

  13th. Stayed in bed all day reading and got up this afternoon. Sasha came and we spent a very pleasant evening together.

  16th. Went to the grave. A lot of young people on bicycles.

  19th. I am copying Pascal’s Pensées; there’s a strange essay called ‘Passion et l’amour’.* I took a great bunch of flowers to the grave this evening. There were some white lilies there that someone had brought, and there are always visitors.

  29th. Biryukov and Bulgakov were here. The same conversations for two years now about Lev Nik., his flight, the will and so on. And the same thing again this evening with Kuzminsky. Kuzminsky is an extraordinarily good and logical person. Tanya is quite the opposite. She shouts, loses her temper, puts wholly unjustified nuances into everything. How she has changed! What a shame!

  6th August. I copied out Lyovochka’s last diary “for himself alone” on the typewriter. What happened? It’s incomprehensible! A lot of it is very unjust. My soul is in mourning.

  9th. My granddaughter Annochka came with my darling little great-grandson Seryozha. Annochka and my sister sang some duets very prettily and my son Seryozha played the piano. Dushan Makovitsky visited and I spent the day with guests; a lot of commotion, but it’s good that Yasnaya Polyana is again becoming a place where people gather. Tears in my throat all day.

  14th. I went to the grave as soon as I got up, and decorated it with flowers. Then I went to the village library. About 175 books have been stolen or torn by the peasants, and I find this so depressing I no longer feel like working on it. I am reading a series of articles ‘On Tolstoy’s Religion’, and for a rest I read Potapenko’s ‘The Janitors of Fame’. This evening I read biographies of various people from portraits published by Grand Duke Nikolai.

  19th. This morning I sat with my sister while she read me her notes about our genealogy;* it’s not badly written. Biryukov came, visitors came to see the study, and L.N.’s old secretary Gusev arrived asking for money for the consumers’ shop.

  22nd. My 68th birthday. A very pleasant day. Andryusha’s family came and my sons Ilya and Seryozha. We went to the grave, then my sister and her family arrived. There were 19 people to dinner. Yasnaya Polyana came to life again! This evening we sang and danced. It was so cheerful I wanted to weep with emotion and a bitter sense of loss. I am even closer to the children now, thank God!

  27th. Sasha asked if she could spend the winter in the Kuzminskys’ wing; she wants to extricate herself from the hateful Chertkov.

  9th September. I packed for Moscow and went to the grave to say goodbye to Lyovochka. It’s all very sad! Bulgakov came, then Martynov the artist, who asked in a very familiar manner where he and his wife could stay.

  12th (Moscow). To the editorial offices of the Russian Word about my article and my grandchildren’s portraits, then to the banks.

  13th. More business. Went to the Historical Museum and corrected some mistakes in an earlier copy of Lev Nik.’s diary.

  28th (Yasnaya Polyana). It poured with rain all day. I did a little work and felt very melancholy. Lev Nik.’s old black cap fell to pieces in my hand, and suddenly I saw before me his old head that I had loved so much.

  1st October. The artist Martynov is here again. Linev came too (a member of the Tolstoy Museum), and took away all the photographs of the estate. I do almost no work, merely squander my energy on trifles and feel constantly ill. My daughter Sasha visited.

  12th. Andryusha came to visit and took 2,000 rubles from me; we talked about the sale of Yasnaya Polyana and how they had chosen him as an elector. I wrote to Kuzminsky, who wants me to visit St Petersburg to petition for a cinematographic lampoon about me* to be banned.

  13th. My health is much worse, I feel as though I were half asleep, and have no energy, particularly after this distressing news about the cinematograph.

  15th. Sasha sent Popov the valuer and his assistant to see me, and we looked at the plans. Sasha has bought a house in Moscow across the Moscow river.

  19th (Moscow). I visited the Governor to discuss the cinematograph, which has now been banned.

  20th (St Petersburg). I have arrived in St Petersburg and asked the ministers for a meeting.

  22nd. I was received by the Minister of Justice, and gave him my complaint about Lev Nik.’s manuscripts, which I had sent to the Senate.* Shcheglovitov seems well disposed towards me and my campaign.

  23rd. Today I visited the Minister of Internal Affairs, Makarov, about the cinematographic lampoon against me, and he promised to ban it throughout Russia. We still have to write to Poland, Finland and the Caucasus.*

  24th. I wrote registered letters to Zein, Skalon and Count Vorontsov-Dashkov about the cinematograph, and dined at home with the Kuzminskys, saw Lyova, then left for Yasnaya Polyana. My sister Tanya saw me off.

  25th (Yasnaya Polyana). I was happy to get home. Makovitsky was here.

  28th. Painful memories of Lev Nikolaevich’s flight two years ago today; I got up with an aching heart. After dinner I read Chirikov’s ‘Banishment’, then sewed under the lamp—the first lamp in our house, which my Lyovochka lovingly bought for me.

  1st November. A photographer arrived this morning from Pathé. I didn’t leave the house.

  7th. The anniversary of Lev Nikolaevich’s death. All sorts of visitors to the house and grave all morning—police, cinematographers, journalists, the general public. Andryusha came, and Seryozha arrived shortly afterwards. This afternoon when the visitors had all left, I went to the grave with Andryusha. Seryozha went on his own. Dushan Makovitsky came for the evening.

  9th. I read a great many articles about Lev Nikol. in the newspapers, and a spiteful note by Chertkov in Speech.*

  10th. I went to the grave as soon as I got up. Whenever I am there on my own I weep and talk to Lyovochka and pray. I scattered crumbs to the birds, and a flock of them flew up and chirped cheerfully at me. I went back and wrote a lot of My Life, and this evening I played both pianos and read a French article about Rod.* We read many articles about Lev Nik., and Yulia cut them out and pasted them in the book.

  19th. I rose early and went to the grave, where I chatted there to some peasants I had never met before, who were carrying logs. Then I wrote all day. An unpleasant article about the manuscripts in the Ru
ssian Gazette.

  12th December. Today a young priest I didn’t know held a funeral service—at his own request—over Lev Nikolaevich’s grave, then performed a requiem mass in his bedroom. He left this evening. An energetic, intelligent man, just 27. Bulgakov, Yulia, Verochka and I attended the service, and Nurse and Semyon the cook came for the requiem.*

  13th. I started on some difficult work today, copying and editing all Lyovochka’s letters to me. That’s a job I won’t finish in a hurry. I shall relive the whole of my married life as I read them. It will be very hard at times.

  22nd. I wrote an article for Russian Word in reply to Pankratov’s lying article about the priest’s visit.* I also wrote to my sister Tanya, and to the editors of the Clan publishing house about the Illustrated Anthology on War and Peace, which has been banned by the censors.*