Surviving Faith (The JackholeS, #2)

by Joy Eileen

  Trent showed up, surprising us both. He came over to talk to us, his eyes jumping back and forth between me and Kill.

  "Hey, Trent," I said, standing under Kill's tense arm.

  "Hey. So, when are you leaving?" he asked, his eyes focusing on Kill from behind his black rimmed glasses.

  Kill cleared his throat, shifting closer to me. "We leave early in the morning."

  "You're going to be a rockstar. Faith, are you ready to see your man surrounded by groupies?"

  My heart struggled to beat around the imaginary knife Trent had just thrust into it. Kill's arm contracted around my shoulders, and when I glanced up, I caught the sight of his nostrils flaring.

  "I trust him," I said, staring Trent straight in the eyes before stretching on my tiptoes and kissing Kill on the cheek.

  Kill whipped me around before my heels could hit the floor and kissed me roughly. His tongue invaded my mouth tangling with mine. My arms automatically went around his neck, holding him tight.

  If Kill and I were going to work, my statement had to be true. I couldn't worry about the heartbreak Kill could cause me. I needed to trust that we were in this together. When we broke free Trent was no longer near us.

  “I don’t like him, Slick. I know he's your friend, but there's something about him I just don’t like.”

  I ghosted my lips across his, letting him know Trent meant nothing to me. “He's just protective of me. I know he took it really hard when he found out what Jason had been doing to me right under his nose. It hurt him to think he couldn’t help me as a friend.”

  Kill opened his mouth, most likely to argue. I placed my hand over his lips so I could finish.

  “He does have it in his head that he loves me, and I’ve told him I would never see him as anything other than a friend. Even if we don’t make it, Killer, I wouldn’t go to him. I’ve made it perfectly clear he needs to find someone else to make him happy, like you make me happy."

  He removed my hand from his lips, kissing my tattoo gently. “What the hell do you mean 'if we don’t make it?’” he asked, looking at me like I’d grown another head.

  I shook mine, not wanting to fight with him, but he stared at me, his expression hard.

  “I just know there will be a lot of...temptation on the road. I don’t want you to have to lie to me if it gets to be too much for you. I understand if you give in to it. I won’t be mad at you, and I'll never regret my time with you.”

  The stupid tears I’d been repressing all day started to run down my face. I didn’t bother wiping them away. My heart hurt with every word, and I couldn’t stop the pain as it physically manifested itself through my tears.

  “I love you and the boys so much. You guys deserve to have the world at your feet, and it's going to happen soon. I don’t want to hold you back when you become famous. You deserve to live your dream.”

  He studied me as if I were speaking a foreign language. His head cocked to one side, with his eyes clouded with confusion. Taking my hand, he led me up to my room.

  "Sit down," he mumbled.

  I plopped down on the bed, and he knelt in front of me, taking my hands in his.

  “First of all, Slick, there's no one who could tempt me when I have you at home. As for living my dream, you are my dream. I love you. I never thought I deserved someone like you, but now that I have you, I'm not letting you go. Nor will I be doing something stupid like getting my dick wet to mess this up. I meant it when I said I want you on the bus with us after you graduate, and if you don’t want to go on tour, then I'll quit the band and follow you while you run after your dream.”

  I stared at him in horror, my mouth hanging open in disbelief.

  “Don't say that, please. Don’t even think I would let you give up your dreams for me. I'm not worth it, and if you want me on the bus, I'll be there for you. As long as you want me there, I’ll stay, but you worked too hard to give this up. Besides, those boys look to you. You are the leader of their band and to let them down after they worked so hard would be...”

  A wave of nausea broke over me. I placed my hand on my stomach, trying to quell the rolling motion. His eyes went to my hand, and panic took over his face.

  “Do we need to go to the hospital? I'm sorry; don’t get upset. I can’t have you sick again. We’ll work this out.” His arms snaked around my waist, his head resting on the hand over my stomach.

  “I’m fine. I just got upset. I can't believe you would willingly throw your dream away for me.”

  “I already told you; you are my dream.” He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a square jewelry box.

  My heart stuttered to a stop, missing a beat before restarting.

  “I got this for you so you’d understand just how committed I am to you. I know you probably aren’t ready for an engagement ring right now, so this is...whatever you want to call it. Well, until you decide to call it an engagement ring.”

  He opened the box silently. Nestled inside the black silk lining was the most stunning ring I’d ever seen–a princess-cut diamond surrounded by tiny rubies, all of it encased in a platinum setting. It reminded me of a firework and was exactly the ring I would have picked for myself.

  “Say something, Slick.” His hand trembled, making the box shake as he held it in front of me.

  “I love it, Killer. I'll wear it as long as you want me.” My voice was thickened by the tears lodging in my throat.

  “Then, get used to it, because you'll be wearing it for a long time,” he replied, sliding the ring onto my finger.

  “You're right, though. I'm not ready to call it an engagement ring.”

  I saw the disappointment on his face before he quickly erased it with a grin. “I have another surprise,” he said, pulling out another box.

  When he revealed the man’s ring my throat closed with emotions fighting to get out. It was thick and made of platinum, just like mine, with a single ruby set in the middle.

  “I figured you would feel better with me wearing one too. To help keep the skanks at bay.” He shot me his half smile.

  “This is going to draw them to you, not repel them,” I explained staring at the ring now adorning his finger.

  “Well, I won’t let them get close. It's you I want, Slick.”

  Our hands linked together, our new rings flashing at us. My heart swelled inside my chest, and I couldn’t remember ever being as happy as I was in that moment.

  “We should get back to the party,” I said hauling him off the bed.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, pouring all the feelings I had for him into it. A groan ripped from his throat as he bit my bottom lip before pressing his erection into my stomach.

  I was wearing a vintage black dress with little pink flowers on the bottom. The skirt flared out at my waist giving him easy access if he wanted it. My hands slid over his erection, making his eyes roll back in his head.

  “I guess you better hurry,” I whispered brazenly.

  Before the words were out of my mouth, he flipped me over. My hands curled into the blanket as he pushed my skirt up. He pulled my panties to the side before thrusting into me. Kill threw his hand over my mouth to muffle my cries, keeping the guests downstairs ignorant as I came undone while he thrust in and out of me.

  I was plunged into a violent orgasm immediately. My legs gave out from under me, and if he hadn’t held onto my waist, I would have collapsed as he continued to pump vigorously into me before reaching his climax. He pulled out of me and reached for a shirt I’d discarded on my bed earlier that morning, emptying himself into it.

  “I didn’t want you to be leaking all night.”

  "My disgusting gentleman," I laughed, throwing the shirt into the hamper. I adjusted my dress and followed him out, linking our hands together.

  CHAPTER 24

  Jessie stormed out of Van’s room, slamming the door, tears streaming down her face. She started to rush toward the stairs, but Van caught her before she could run away.

>   “Don’t, Van. We’re over. I promise that it's for good this time. Go have your tour. Get famous, but make sure you forget about me.” She wrenched her arm from his grasp and ran downstairs. Seconds later, the front door slammed.

  Van stood there staring at the stairs, like he was unable to understand what was going on.

  “Van, what happened?” I asked, placing my hand on his shoulder.

  “I don’t know,” he answered, stupefied.

  “What made her so angry?” Kill asked, shooting Van a worried look.

  “I asked her to marry me. I wanted her to know she was the one I wanted, and we could work out whatever we needed to. She told me she’d met someone else. I didn’t believe her. I thought it was just a ploy to get me to stay away. She just ran out of my room.” The big guy looked so dejected. He rubbed his hands over his bald head, the muscles on his arms bunched in frustration.

  I wrapped my arms around Van. He held me tightly, his body trembling with pain.

  “Come on; let’s go get you a drink,” Kill said from behind us.

  I turned my head to see Kill rubbing the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable at seeing his friend in so much pain.

  “I don’t know what to do,” Van mumbled again as we led him downstairs.

  Kill guided Van into the kitchen, on a mission to get him drunk. I gave them some time to themselves by staying in the living room and talking to Stace and Taze.

  "It healed really nicely," Taze said after he checked my tattoo.

  "You did an amazing job. I love it. I can see how they become addictive."

  "Oh, Faith. Now, you've done it." Stace said, nudging Taze with her shoulder as he smiled at me wickedly.

  There was a tap on my shoulder, and I was caught off guard, finding D standing behind me. “Can I steal you away for a minute?” he asked.

  "I'll find you later, and we can talk about my next tattoo," I told Stace and Taze before following D toward the garage.

  “What’s up?” I asked, hopping onto the washer as D closed the garage door behind him.

  D’s eyes zeroed in on my ring, his jaw tensing. “Listen, Faith. Kill asked me to back off about how I feel in regards to your relationship and relationships in general. I just want you to know that you need to be prepared for what could happen when we’re on tour. I love you and Kill. I think you two are being stupid for putting the strain on yourselves by staying together. I don't want to see either of you get hurt. I refuse to let this band or you suffer. If he starts to do something while on tour, I will feel obligated to tell you. I just need you to be prepared.” He left the garage before my mind could process his words in order to form a coherent response.

  My butt stayed glued to the washer as I tried not to let his words worm their way into my brain. I knew without a doubt if Kill did go back to his ways, there would be no one else for me. He’d asked for my trust, and I was going to give it to him until he proved he didn't deserve it.

  “Hey, Faith,” Trent slurred when I walked out of the garage. He ran his finger down my arm with bleary eyes. “How are you handling loverboy’s departure?” he asked, not an ounce sincerity in his voice.

  “I’m doing okay. I was just going to find him so I could spend the rest of the time we have together.” I went to move, but Trent planted himself in front of me, caging me in.

  “Have you been getting any more notes?” he asked, leaning closer. His alcohol-soaked breath wafted over my face.

  “No, I haven’t gotten any since I talked to his dad. I'm hoping he's over it.”

  He shook his head tut-tuting me. “There's no way of getting over you, Faith. I'm sure he's just biding his time. Waiting until you're alone so he can get to you. Just know; I'm a phone call away if you need me.” He leaned even further into me.

  I was angled as far back as I could get, my body pressed against the door.

  Kill walked over and took hold of my arm, pulling me from Trent's clutches. “Hey, Slick, I've been looking all over for you.” Even though his words were for me, his eyes were on Trent.

  “Sorry, I was just mingling,” I said, kissing him lightly on the cheek. “I’ll see you later, Trent.”

  “What was that all about?” Kill asked me when we were far enough away.

  “He just wanted to make sure I was doing alright with you leaving,” I lied.

  “I’m sure he's really concerned about our relationship.” We turned to look at Trent who was in the process of taking a shot of some kind of brown liquor.

  “He needs to back off. Promise me you'll tell me if he's too much for you to handle. I know you can take care of yourself, which is why I've been trying to hold my tongue. But I don’t trust him.”

  I kissed him soundly. Him trusting me enough to take care of the situation made me fall more in love with him.

  A shudder went through me when I imagined him discovering that Jason's dad had been the one who’d orchestrated their tour. Even though I’d done it for the boys, I was terrified what Kill would think if he ever found out. I felt the same fear about him finding the letters I’d stashed in my closet. Hopefully, his trust regarding my ability to handle myself extended beyond dealing with Trent.

  “Are you okay with me leaving?” he asked after we watched Trent slam back two more shots.

  Pain shot through my heart, distracting me from Trent's imminent alcohol poisoning. The thought of sleeping alone, and going through the days without seeing him made my body shrivel inside. I refused to say anything negative, afraid he would just give it all up for me, only to resent me for it later.

  “I’ll be fine. It's only six months. Everyone has already told me they have plans to keep me busy. I'm going to be so busy; I won't realize you're gone.”

  He scanned my face, a smile quirking the tip of his mouth. “I'm going to miss the fuck out of you and your smartass,” he said, squishing me to him.

  My throat tightened from the emotions flooding my body, making it difficult to breathe. “I'm going to miss you too, Killer,” I responded, holding him tighter, wanting to fuse myself to him while I still had the chance.

  “Come on, you two. No more sadness. This is a party,” Taze said, walking over with Stace.

  I pulled away from Kill, wishing everyone would just disappear so I could have him all to myself.

  “Trust me on this one, if you don’t start having fun, the last memories you’ll have of each other will be weepy ones. Come on, and let’s make some good memories you can hold onto during those lonely nights,” Taze said, ushering us to the kitchen.

  “I plan to make some good memories, but I'm telling you now you won’t be anywhere near my woman when we’re making those,” Kill replied, sadness clouding his eyes.

  I blushed brightly, shaking my head and trying to stay positive. Thinking of naked Kill was definitely helping my attitude.

  “I wouldn’t dream of it. I have all the woman I need right here. You perverted bastard, you know I wasn't talking about naked sexy-time. Now, drink this.” Taze handed us each a bright-red shot before he made two more for him and Stace.

  “Here’s to relationships that make life worth living,” Taze saluted. He kissed Stace on the mouth before we downed our shots, which were surprisingly sweet and tasted just like a red apple.

  “Yum, that was good,” I said, licking my lips to get the last of it.

  “It’s my favorite shot. It's called a Washington apple,” Stace said.

  “Okay, next shot needs to be something manly,” Kill insisted before grabbing my chin and kissing me. His tongue tasted like the alcohol we’d just gulped down, and I couldn’t stop myself from sucking on it.

  “Alright, you two, none of that until later. You're with friends still,” Taze said breaking us apart, before turning back to the counter to make us another round.

  “Taze, not too many more. I'm sure they don’t want to spend their last night together too drunk to...Uhm well, you know.” Stace turned the same color as the shot we just took. Kill and I both laughed
as she stared down at her shoes. Taze handed us our next round.

  “Buttery nipples,” I yelled excitedly

  “Dude, you're going to ruin my reputation,” Kill whined when he grabbed his glass.

  “Sorry, man, my woman loves these. I don’t care how girly they are, I'll drink anything to make her happy. I mean, look at her. She's always taking care of everyone and keeping me in line. So perfect.”

  I smiled at the adoration on Taze's face. He was so in love with Stace. Hope settled in my heart, seeing how they seemed to thrive, despite their differences.

  “Okay, you win. I get that,” Kill surrendered to him. He brushed his lips across the top of my head and squeezed my waist.

  After we downed our next shot, Stace asked Kill if he would play for her. She winked at me as she interfered with Taze's shot-a-thon. I mouthed a thank you to her as Kill grabbed his guitar and perched on the kitchen table.

  Ryan wandered over and put her arm around me while she sang off key to Kill’s strumming. The alcohol made me feel lighter than I had in days. Laughter bubbled up inside me as Ryan attempted to hit a high note. My big bad bartender was wasted. Everyone squished into the kitchen, firing off requests and singing along.

  D, Jet, and a slightly-inebriated Van all sat on the table, as they played an acoustic set for the house. When midnight approached, we turned on the TV. The whole house counted down as the ball descended to officially bring in the new year.

  Kill kissed me with desperation, and I cinched my arms around his neck, wanting to stay with him as long as I could. My heartbeat stuttered as his time to leave rapidly approached.

  We broke away when someone cleared their throat behind us. Trent's glasses sat askew on his face, magnifying his glazed eyes. His mouth was almost as slack as his body. My body tensed, preparing for the drama.

  "I have a cab waiting outside. I'll see you later, Faith," Trent slurred, patting me on the shoulder before stumbling out the door.

  “That was different,” Kill whispered in my ear.

  “That it was, Killer. Now, how do we start herding everyone out so I can get you naked?” I asked, no longer caring about entertaining anyone else.