Quanta Reset

by Lola Dodge

Her eyelids fluttered as she sank back to sleep. I managed to get the comforter up to her chin without disturbing her. For a while, I sat stroking her hair and making sure she was still breathing.

  She said I made her world quieter, but I could say the same. Even a month ago, I wouldn’t have thought this possible. That I could be content in stillness. That my mind would ever relax enough to enjoy a moment.

  I smoothed back Quanta’s hair and she murmured a happy noise.

  Genetic matching was speeding up our relationship, but it wasn’t as if I couldn’t fight the compulsion. I didn’t want to fight it.

  Quanta also said that the past didn’t have a “might have” setting. We could only take one path, and the other forks disappeared when we passed them.

  Despite all the problems in front of us, I didn’t regret the choices I’d made thus far. This was the path we had, and it had brought Quanta and me together.

  When her eyelids started flickering with REM sleep, I bent to kiss her forehead. “Rest.”

  After adjusting the blanket, I forced myself to stand. Before I got too caught up in watching her, I picked my way through the drawings on the floor.

  There was a difference between cherishing her and letting the matching go to our heads, and I planned to stay on the right side of that line. Quanta would be safe in her bunker, and I’d come check on her after getting a few processes started in the lab.

  The faster I got to work, the better. I headed out.

  But Hunter Marquez stood waiting at the bottom of the steps. His hard green eyes said he wasn’t happy about being here.

  He hadn’t forgiven me for killing his friend. Ten years later, I hadn’t forgiven myself. I’d been cocky and full of my future as Seligo, while Allison had been desperate to survive. She’d grown up in the Voids like Marquez, but I’d earned a spot at academy simply by being born to senators. Graduating was the only way to earn a Helix and a better life. Allison had been pushed beyond her abilities, and I’d never realized the difference between us before that sparring match.

  If I hadn’t yet convinced Marquez I was genuinely sorry, then nothing would change between us today, and there was no reason to rehash the past. Pressing my thumb to the scanner, I made sure that the bolt slid in before taking the steps. “Marquez. What brings you here?”

  “Orpheus.” His posture stayed wary, as if a simple greeting between us could easily turn into a fight. “Lady Eva said you and I have business.”

  “I’m not sure that we do.” If anything, my business was with Cipher. I had no intention of going through her gatekeeper—especially when he had such good reason to make my life difficult. I gestured that he follow me as I worked my way back toward my lab. I didn’t think he had bad intentions toward Quanta, but I still didn’t want him near her. We’d both come a long way since our Academy days, but until I knew where he stood on revenge…

  The farther away from Quanta we had this conversation, the better.

  “Cut the shit.” Marquez dug in his heels, planting himself in the grass, and I was half-tempted to keep walking. He’d have nothing to do but follow.

  But there was no reason to antagonize him, and I had to admit, his feelings were justified. I faced him and tried to keep my posture as neutral as possible. Nonthreatening. “We have a lead we think Cipher might be able to follow. I was planning to talk to her later.”

  “You can talk to me.” His voice was as hard as his eyes, and he wasn’t trying to hide his anger.

  If he charged me… I used to be able to take him down in ten seconds in weapon training, but that was years ago, and I didn’t have a practice sword today. Even though my base physical stats were technically better than his, he’d been training with Black Helixes while I’d been working in labs.

  He’d hand me my ass in a fight right now. I shifted, angling myself a little to the side, but Marquez caught the motion. He shifted in response, meeting my gaze—not quite cocky, but ready. He knew his odds as well as I did.

  At this rate, he’d never let us near Cipher. I lifted my hands in surrender. “You may as well say what you’ve been holding in. We have to work together.”

  “I don’t trust you.”

  “That’s fair.” And honestly, I couldn’t blame him. He’d known me at the worst point in my life. “What do you want me to say?”

  “That you’re sorry.” Marquez shook his head in exasperated disgust. “Jesus. I thought she’d changed you, but you’re still the same heartless bas—”

  “I’m sorry,” I said through gritted teeth.

  “Forgive me for doubting your sincerity, Orpheus.” Now he said my name like a curse. When it came to my family, I usually shared the sentiment, but I couldn’t and wouldn’t apologize for them. I had nothing to do with my parents, their Senate, or their elitist ways.

  “I killed her, and I can’t bring her back to life. Do you think even a day has gone by that I haven’t remembered?” I still wore the glasses to remind me, and most days, they weighed my conscience down like lead.

  “Honestly? I think entire years have gone by where you haven’t spared her a thought.”

  The hollow feeling that Quanta had started to fill gaped under my ribcage. It was never truly gone, and nothing I said would convince him otherwise. “I can’t make it right, but whether or not you believe me, I’m trying.” And I was done apologizing for the past. “Now is now. I want the Seligo gone and Quanta safe. That’s all.”

  He didn’t nod or show any signs of outward agreement, but his posture eased slightly—a drop in his shoulders, making him less aggressive. We both shared the same mindset when it came to our other halves. “Quanta found a lead and it concerns Cipher. The Seligo might be coming for the compound.”

  As soon as the words were out of my mouth, the shift was instant. Marquez straightened, ready to defend anyone who dared come after his Red. “What do you know?”

  I should’ve led with that instead of airing out the past. “We have a site to check. I’m guessing you heard what happened with Tompkins?”

  “Eva filled me in.”

  As expected. Marquez was her right-hand man these days. “We might be able to access some Seligo intel, but odds are it won’t be straightforward. If Quanta and Cipher combine to do some digging…”

  His eyes narrowed. “Is Quanta safe to be around?”

  I hesitated too long. “I think so.”

  “You’d better know so,” Marquez said, already back on guard. “If she hurts Ci—”

  “No one wants that. Especially Quanta.” It would be her nightmare scenario.

  “Somehow, it’s not really her I have the problem with,” Marquez said.

  If I were inclined to roll my eyes, they would’ve been turning circles. “I was on my way to run tests. You’re welcome to join me in the lab.”

  “Pass.” Marquez turned, giving me his back as he strode toward the edge of the compound. “You’d better have some answers before you coming looking for us.”

  “I will.” I said the words more as a promise to myself than an answer to him.

  I headed for the lab, trying to brush off his attitude, but the memories wouldn’t go away now that they’d been summoned. I could still feel the warmth of Allison’s blood on my skin. The crushing guilt. It had been an accident from start to finish, but I’d known better than to spar against an amateur with a live blade. I should’ve told the instructor off. Instead, I was bored and cocky, and a girl had lost her life because of my childishness.

  The past is the past. I shook out my arms as I walked, trying to throw off the tension and negative energy. I couldn’t change history.

  I could change the future.

  That was exactly what I planned to do.

  Chapter Seven

  QUANTA

  Futures fizzed through my dreams.

  Tair and me giggling and smiling. Then Tair and me running and dying. Tompkins staring blankly into space.

  The Ravens and Eva and Nagi. Millions of possibilities swirle
d. The past tugged at me, too. Like an underwater cave of phantoms, dying to pull me in.

  Darren’s chemical-green eyes bored into me while he cackled from the darkness.

  I woke up panting. And on the floor.

  Gulping deep breaths, I tried to concentrate on my stinging back, hoping the pain would push away the ghosts. There were a million and one terrible things in those dreams, but one image stuck out more than all the others:

  A future Quanta on her knees, clapping her hands to her ears, surrounded by limp bodies.

  So, so many bodies.

  I pulled my blanket down around me and tried to even out my breathing. If my vitals spiked too much, Tair would come running, and I’d have to explain. I didn’t want to explain, even to him.

  The nightmares didn’t bother me. Darren was dead, and he could laugh all he wanted now that he wasn’t breathing.

  The past was like a bonfire I’d passed through. It couldn’t hurt me anymore.

  But the future…

  It’s just a possibility. I hugged the blanket tight. It doesn’t have to happen.

  Either way, it sucked that reality was my biggest fear.

  I couldn’t let myself kill that many people. I’d end it before it went that far.

  And wasn’t that another chipper thought?

  I grabbed the closest paper and pencil from the floor and started sketching. A timeghostly forest hovered at the edge of my vision, and I focused on it, losing myself in the shapes of the trees and mountains. By the time the paper was filled, my cold sweat was gone and panic had stopped making my vision shake.

  Action. I had to do something or I was going to lose it.

  But what?

  My bunker had a little console, but I didn’t know how to use it, and even if I managed to figure it out, I was ninety-nine percent sure that bumbling around with the address I’d seen would trigger a security disaster and bring the Seligo down on us. I’d already done enough damage for one day. I couldn’t do anything with the computers until I got backup.

  So instead of causing another tragedy, I started digging through timeghosts. I had to get better at filtering them, and now was as good a time as any to start because I needed options.

  Tair’s ghosts were the easiest to pick from the crowd. The recent past jumped out at me.

  Tair bends to kiss my forehead. “Rest.” He adjusts the blanket under my chin, and his gaze lingers, warm and full of affection.

  I pressed my hands to my warm neck. That was cute.

  Wanting to play the moment back a few times, I tried to focus in, but the past didn’t like showing me nice things. Tair’s shape flowed forward as he headed out of the bunker to the guy who was waiting.

  Hunter. Knight. Marquez. I hadn’t decided what I wanted to call him yet, but there were plenty of names to choose from. As their macho staring match played out…

  I’d call him an asshole if he didn’t leave Tair alone.

  Not that I really minded Knight. I’d seen enough of his past to know he was a good guy, and he’d be an even better ally if we could win his trust. He also had every reason to be pissed. So maybe I was slightly biased where Tair was concerned.

  Ha. I was totally biased and it didn’t bother me a bit.

  But Knight’s parting words left a tic in my cheek. You’d better have some answers before you coming looking for us.

  Fine.

  I wouldn’t look for him. I’d look for Cipher. And not that I didn’t want Tair there…

  I just wanted to have this chat alone. No Tair. No Knight. Just Cipher and me. Two Reds having a heart-to-heart about Seligo schemes and what happened when one of us imploded.

  I’d wanted to talk to her, even though I’d been afraid to get close. I was still afraid to get close, but I couldn’t put our talk off any more. The compound was already moving, but I needed to know what other threats were hanging over us, and until I got my powers working right, this was the best window we were getting.

  I’d been following Cipher for as long as she’d been on the Seligo radar, and I was positive of one thing. If danger was on the way, she’d want to know. She wasn’t one to sit around and wait to get snuck up on.

  So Tair and Knight could work out their macho garbage their own selves. In the meantime, I needed to chat with the computer girl.

  But where did I find her? When I tried to focus, an army of timeghosts choked reality.

  Cipher sits in a lawn chair; Cipher swings her feet on one of the dining hall benches as she pokes at the orange lumps on her plate; Cipher sprints through a warehouse, panicked and panting; Cipher and Knight snuggle together; Cipher zaps at rocks in little arcs of lightning; Cipher screams in pain; Cipher falls as gunshots ring out—

  I winced. Reds and their futures.

  Focus.

  I used to be able to do this. I used to have to do this every day, just to stay alive. It might be harder to focus at the compound, but I had to relearn the trick.

  After a few breaths, I started sifting through the pages of time. Knight’s parting words were easy enough to find again. Other images flickered in, but I could more or less follow if I could keep up max concentration.

  Knight strides across the grass; he sprints a morning lap, grinning as he encourages Cipher, whose scowl is plastered to her sweating face; he spars with the big bald guy and the blond one; a group of them laugh, sitting in pop-up chairs near an RV.

  That group of them was almost always together. I thought I’d seen them at some of the morning exercises, but I hadn’t exactly been paying attention. Now I needed to know where they hung out. I picked up the rest of the names as I dug deeper. Oliver was the bald giant, Dex was the one with the flowing hair, and Mona was the blonde who stuck close to Cipher.

  They should be grabbing their last dinner before the Ravens scattered to new locations, but I wrinkled my nose at the thought of braving the dining hall. Too much crowding. Too many timeghosts. I’d be useless there.

  The barracks? That meant too many people, too. They’d been sitting on those chairs…

  The thought sparked a ghostly blue version of Knight.

  He strides past the stacked containers where most of the Ravens live, skirting my bunker and moving toward the tree line. A battered RV sits at the edge of one of the parking lots. Its open awning shades a cluster of chairs. Knight knocks and Cipher opens the door.

  I sat up. Cipher didn’t live in the barracks. I hadn’t realized, but it made sense. She and I were top-shelf hazards. Better to keep us away from the general population. The timeghost wasn’t exactly recent—the shade of haziness said this had happened a few days or so ago—but now I had a place to start.

  I shucked off my blanket, jammed on the nearest sweater, and headed for the door. I took one more deep breath before unlocking it and then peeked out the crack. The sun was on its way down, but enough orangey light still glowed to see by. People buzzed around in the distance, loading up truck beds for the trip down the mountain. Luckily, nobody was bustling around my bunker.

  I slipped down the steps. My feet touched grass before I realized I was barefoot, but it wasn’t really cold and I didn’t really care. It wasn’t a good enough reason to turn back.

  Sneaking wasn’t something I could do—it took most of my concentration not to bump into things when the timeghosts got too thick—but I walked as quickly and quietly as I could manage. When I finally got to the right parking lot, I ducked behind a car.

  I had to find out who was in the RV now. Was Cipher alone?

  Before I could even try to dig, the door squeaked open and Knight stepped out of the brown-paneled monstrosity. “Be back in a few,” he called over his shoulder.

  “Bring beers!” someone shouted from inside. Definitely not Cipher.

  Knight laughed. “Not happening. Dry compound, assholes.”

  I held my breath as he cut across the grass, but he wasn’t looking for enemies in the middle of the safe zone. Even if he did, I was totally hidden behind the car. When
he was out of sight, I finally stood.

  I didn’t know who else was in the RV, but I already knew this was the best chance I was going to get.

  But I froze at the bottom of the steps. I had to make sure I wouldn’t hurt anyone before I went charging in.

  I let my walls down to check what the future had to scare me with.

  Cipher scowls; she stares at me in silent disdain; the air crackles with her anger; “Wait.” I reach for her and my fingertips brush her arm—blinding blue lightning crackles and thunder booms. When the flash clears, my body lies limp and slightly charred on the other side of the RV, a trickle of blood running from my forehead as Cipher’s face pales with horror.

  I slammed new walls into place before more ghosts overwhelmed me, but that one little peek was exactly what I’d needed. Even though I looked pretty unconscious, Cipher hadn’t killed me. And I probably shouldn’t be happy that there were futures where she turned me extra crispy, but it did wonders for my guilt and dread.

  Cipher would zap me before I hurt her. And even better—she could zap me before I hurt anyone.

  I stepped up to rap on the door.

  “Back already?” one of the guys called.

  “Not exactly. Is Cipher home?”

  The background laughter and computer-game noises cut off, and the RV shifted as whoever was in there moved around.

  “Who is it?”

  I recognized Cipher’s voice. “It’s Quanta.”

  A few whispers sounded, too quiet for me to hear, but I let them have at the debate while I tried to keep myself focused on the present. Odds were, someone was going to open the door. After that—

  It whipped open before I could make other plans. The massive bald guy took up every bit of the doorway. “Can we help you with something?”

  My mouth opened, but his past hit me in a wave.

  Young and exhausted—but already massively tall—Oliver lifts a triumphant fist as the crowd behind him roars; dressed in black body armor, he punches, kicks, slices, and shoots his way through a haze of smoke and blood with Dex and Knight at his side; silent tears stream down his face as he kneels next to a sheet-covered body; he cups Mona’s cheek, then leans his head on her shoulder; bullets scream and he jerks, taking one to the leg and trips, sliding down a gravelly precipice—