Quanta Reset

by Lola Dodge

  “Too late.” I waved him off and carefully started picking my way toward the science cars.

  “Maybe I don’t want to know the answer to this, but when’s the last time you ate?” he asked.

  “Uhhh…” Also a good question. “Yesterday?” Not that it mattered. I doubted I’d keep anything down as long as this dizziness hung around. Knight muttered something that got lost in the general static.

  Cipher snorted. “She’s worse than me.”

  Nope. Not even close. I’d watched Cipher go days without eating on one of her hackfests, but I kept that little tidbit to myself. She didn’t know how often Nagi had made me try to pull her location out of the ether. I’d tell her some other day, when my brain was tracking and I could make it sound helpful instead of creepy.

  The two of them ended up walking in front of me, but they matched my tortoise pace across the compound. They whispered something I couldn’t make out.

  Their timeghosts kept talking to me, though.

  They stand shoulder to shoulder—Cipher crackling with power and Knight holding a gun—glaring down the shadowy enemies in front of them; Knight tugs her somewhere, grinning and giddy; Cipher hugs her knees to her chest, alone in a dark room with red-rimmed eyes; an older Knight beams at a strawberry-blonde baby as he pushes her on a swing and her giggles ring out—

  Their future wasn’t all bonbons, but still.

  There was hope in that little laugh.

  It gave me the strength to keep walking forward. They’d make their own destinies, but I needed to do what I could to give them—and all the Ravens—the best chance at a happy future.

  That wouldn’t happen if I stayed at the compound, and it wouldn’t happen if Clone Quanta was chasing them down.

  I knew what I had to do. Now I just had to convince Tair.

  When we hit Eva’s lab, Cipher and Knight finally broke off as if their walking me the whole way had been a coincidence.

  They really were growing on me. I hoped someday I could spend more time with them in a less life-or-death context. A video game would be a good start.

  And technically, I still owed Cipher a pizza.

  But my temporary good humor faded as I knocked on Eva’s door.

  No answer.

  I thumped it again.

  I was still having trouble seeing straight, but even I couldn’t miss all the cam apparatus mounted everywhere. Whoever was in there knew who was knocking.

  Trying to scan the future only made my head throb, so I kept pounding the door instead of straining my brain. Someone had to come eventually.

  After three more tries, the door finally opened. One of Eva’s assistants stepped aside to let me enter. With a wrinkled lab coat and her hair sticking out at crazed angles, the girl looked like she hadn’t slept in weeks. “The Lady says you can wait inside, but she and Orpheus can’t be disturbed at the moment.”

  Right. “Where are they so I can make sure not to bother them?”

  “Working in the wet lab. Wait. You can’t—”

  But I was already on the way. The girl wasn’t going to risk restraining me, and I did have vital info to share. Plus, I wouldn’t bother anyone if they looked too involved. I just wanted to see Tair and soak up the calm of his presence.

  Or at least con one of Eva’s lab techs into giving me something for this headache.

  I found Tair and Eva in the wet lab. I just hadn’t imagined how wet it might be.

  A brain floated in a tank on their worktable.

  Bile rose in my throat.

  I’d seen worse. So much worse, in the glimpses of dark futures and pasts, but this…

  All the white surfaces and stainless steel… Fluorescent lights…

  And the barest hint of ammonia.

  Cold sweat broke out all over my body, and my right hand started to shake.

  Bodies float in tanks; my face twists in dozens of expressions that aren’t mine; Doctor Nagi looms over me, hair slicked back, glaring with eyes like ice chips; electricity tears through my body, strapped down to a table; dozens of pasts blur together—tubes and tests and blood and—

  I can’t.

  When I came to, I lay flat on my back on a lab table. Panic flared at the glare of the fluorescents overhead. Then I caught sight of Tair and Eva and managed to suck in a breath.

  It was a lab, but not the lab. The dark days were over.

  “What happened?” Eva asked.

  “I fainted…” I pressed at my head, but the shakes wouldn’t go away, even as Tair rubbed my arm. “I guess I don’t like floating organs.”

  It was the best excuse I could come up with. Tair gave me a hard look, but didn’t call me out.

  Yet. I was guessing that would come later.

  Passing out only firmed up the decision I’d already made. Just glimpsing the past shouldn’t be enough to make me pass out.

  I was getting more erratic. I was going to keep getting more erratic.

  What if Eva had touched me when I fell? What if losing consciousness was the trigger that made my powers go nuclear?

  And that was that. I couldn’t keep hanging around the Ravens. “I want to go after the clone.”

  Tair and Eva both stilled so quickly I knew something was going on. Eva recovered first. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Why?” The last of my fainting woozies shook right off. Goose bumps pebbled my skin when Tair wouldn’t meet my gaze. “Why?”

  He took off his glasses to rub his temple, and pain bled through the gesture.

  Neither of them would answer me, which was almost answer enough. My voice clogged halfway up my throat. I took a breath and then forced the words out. “How much time do I have?”

  Tair jerked. “It’s not—We’ll…”

  “Quanta.” Eva’s calm voice drew my focus straight to her. “You’re deteriorating as fast as I’ve seen a Red break down.”

  I hugged my arms. Tair’s hands were balled into fists, his whole body rigid. Eva just stared in that cool way of hers.

  Whatever their data said, I didn’t need to see the numbers to feel what was happening in my body. Focus was harder and harder to come by, and I’d never been a fainter.

  And that future of me kneeling, surrounded by bodies, was looking more and more solid every time it crept into view.

  Maybe they could science something up to fix me. Worst-case scenario, I took a whole lot of innocents with me when I went down in psychic flames.

  The worst case is not happening. At the very least, I couldn’t let so many innocent people get caught in my mess.

  “Rest here for a bit longer,” Eva said. “We’ve almost finished a batch of serums to help stabilize your symptoms. Then we can discuss where the two of you should head next.”

  I wasn’t backing down, but I nodded. “Rest is good.”

  Complicated emotions ran across Tair’s face, but his voice was soft. “I’ll be next door. We won’t take long.”

  Closing my eyes, I waited for the door to click shut. When it did, I let out a breath and deflated like a sad balloon.

  Timeghosts swooped and dived around the room, and I didn’t bother fighting the swarm. Maybe I’d find a future that gave me some hope.

  Instead, I caught staticy wisps of the other Quanta. Her timeghosts stung and then fizzled away like something was blocking me from seeing her.

  I didn’t need another reason to leave, but that was a big one. The clone was out there picking off Reds, and if I didn’t go after her this would be my future.

  I’d be staring at a white ceiling while Tair and Eva ran test after test after awful test, and I hadn’t fought my way to freedom to go through that again. It would be madness, laying here, flicking between the two channels: my implosion and scrambled images of the clone.

  I couldn’t fix the first problem, but a ticking clock wasn’t anything new. It still made me tremble if I thought about it, but that was exactly why I had to hit the road.

  I could still do something abo
ut the clone.

  Maybe not much, but who knew? I’d rather go out hunting than mope around waiting for my own apocalypse.

  Chapter Fourteen

  ALTAIR

  I poured myself into the work to keep from worrying, but every second my mind wasn’t engaged, my thoughts strayed back to Quanta. I couldn’t lose her so soon.

  We’d barely started getting to know each other.

  After another hour’s work in the lab, Eva set down a stand of newly filled vials. “The serum should slow down the degradation, but…”

  I already knew the rest. Serums weren’t ideal. They were a temporary solution, and if we’d calculated wrong, then there was every chance we’d speed up Quanta’s demise.

  I clenched my jaw. That wouldn’t happen. I’d stake my life that we’d calculated correctly.

  Eva studied me across the vials. “You both have a choice to make.”

  “A choice between dangers?” That was all I could see. A series of bleak options.

  “Exactly,” Eva said. “Will you stay with me or go hunting?”

  “Stay.” I rubbed my forehead. Following Eva to the next location gave us a fresh start, and staying close to her—and her resources—made the most logical sense until we’d found a way to stabilize Quanta.

  “And if she insists on going to Theta?”

  “I’ll convince her otherwise.”

  “Even you might not be able to this time.” Eva smiled more like a fond parent than a guerrilla leader. “She had that look in her eye.”

  “So I noticed.” As much as I respected Quanta and her burdens, this once, I wanted her to take the path of least resistance. She always put others before herself. It was admirable, but not the best long-term policy.

  We took the serums and headed back to Quanta. She’d rolled onto her side, tucking her arms around her knees. Her tangled hair hid her face, but she muttered softly, talking to herself.

  “Quanta?” I approached the table.

  “We have to go to Theta.” She pushed her hair out of the way to stare up at me.

  “Maybe later. But right now…” Going after the clone would be reckless when we had a much larger problem to solve.

  Quanta gripped the ends of her sleeves. “I know you both want to stick me in a bunker, but if you want to keep me safe, no one else will be.” She focused on Eva. “What if I blow while I’m on your table? You know you can’t risk that.”

  “We could go all the way to Theta and come back empty handed.” With the Seligo after us, just assuming we’d get to come back was optimistic.

  “I know this plan is weak, but if I go to that park, at least there’s a chance I can pick up the clone’s thread in time. Nagi kept me hidden for ten years, and you know she’s got the same security. We can’t leave her with him for so many reasons.” She straightened her shoulders. “And I can’t hide away, just waiting to die. I’ve done that. I’m not doing it again.”

  Her determination held firm while mine wavered.

  “You’re not waiting to die.” Eva moved to stand at my shoulder. “This serum should help your symptoms, and no matter where the two of you decide to go next, I won’t stop working on a more permanent solution.”

  “I want you to find one,” Quanta said. “But I promise you don’t want me hanging around while you work on it.”

  Eva handed me an adhesive membrane soaked in the serum, and I stuck it to Quanta’s arm, trying to be gentle while my thoughts churned. I understood her perspective, but at the same time, I couldn’t swallow rushing into danger like this. “Assuming we went, it would have to be pure observation.” Quanta had no mission training, and now wasn’t the time to start it.

  “Of course.” Eva pulled a map onto the wall screen and centered over Asia. “The skate park video came from an island cluster in the Void outside Theta Citadel. I suspect an underground group of Reds is based there, but haven’t had the resources to investigate. They may be able to help you if you can find them.”

  Allies? Was that her agenda now?

  She was losing Quanta, and she wanted us to recruit new Reds to refill her ranks? I pressed a fist into the wall, trying to keep myself contained. “That’s more trouble we don’t need.”

  “It could be a start.” Quanta shrugged.

  It could.

  Or it could be the most foolish mistake we ever made.

  Chapter Fifteen

  QUANTA

  Tair and I stayed locked in silence until Eva broke the freeze. “I’ll give you a moment alone. If you stay with me, I’ll give you coordinates to the new facility, but regardless of where you choose to go, the compound will be breaking up in the next few hours.”

  The door clicked behind her, leaving the two of us alone. The heavy stillness made it hard to choke words up my throat. I took a breath. “I didn’t mean to force you into this.”

  “That’s not the problem.” Tair leaned against the wall, looking all haggard and hurt. “I understand why, but it still feels like walking into more danger. I want to protect you.”

  “You are protecting me.” I’d never be able to survive some strange Void by myself. “You’re working on serums and looking out for me and…” I patted the serum patch he’d stuck on my arm. “If we’re together, I know we can do something to help Eva. Maybe even find where the Seligo took those girls.”

  He finally met my gaze. “You keep trying to make me feel better. That’s backward.”

  I gave an awkward shrug. “I don’t know what else to do.” I wasn’t even used to having feelings. As much as he wanted to protect me, I wanted to do the same for him. I’d never expected to feel that much for anyone. Being in a lose-lose situation made the emotions even harder to handle. “I need to go after the clone. And if there are more Reds hiding near Theta, I want to help them as much as I can.” My voice cracked, but I wanted him to know it all. “If my powers blaze out, at least I can go off alone in the middle of the ocean.”

  “Where you go, I go.” Tair swept me up and into him.

  I squeezed him tight, pressing my face into his shirt as my heart fluttered. “Does that mean we’re heading out tonight?”

  For a second, he gripped me a little too tight. Then he relaxed, letting out a soul-deep breath. “Yes.”

  The promise of action perked me up. I couldn’t begin to see how it was all going to turn out, but doing something made all the difference.

  I wasn’t giving up yet.

  I wasn’t giving up at all.

  I had too many reasons to survive.

  Scheming Eva already had most of what we needed in place, from new identities to transport all the way to Penghu—the little island where we’d find the skate park and hopefully a lot of leads.

  But like the worst mastermind ever, I went to my bunker for a nap. The practical stuff wasn’t my forte, and I wanted to get as much rest as I could before I was dealing with all the timeghosts the wide world was about to throw at me.

  I woke up feeling refreshed enough to choke down toast with some wretched chemical-tasting jelly. It was completely possible that the food was responsible for my downturn.

  I wouldn’t be surprised.

  But the serum did seem to be improving things. By the time Tair and I headed to the car waiting for us at the edge of the more and more deserted compound, I could actually see the ground in front of me without clutching at him.

  My control was holding.

  Eva stood waiting by our car. “I’ll send another team after you as soon as we reestablish our base. They won’t get in your way, but you’ll have backup if you need it.”

  “I’ll be calling if there’s trouble.” Tair had shadows under his eyes, and his hair was as rumpled as I’d ever seen it. Still, he was going along with the madness.

  “We’ll try not to get anyone else tangled up in our mess.” I got that Eva had to send more people—because someone had to keep looking for the clone if we failed—but I didn’t want Ravens in my blast zone. That was half the point of traveling
to the other side of the world.

  Eva smiled. “I’ll see you both again. I’m certain of it.”

  I didn’t have her confidence, but I nodded. “I hope so.”

  “Know so.” She stood like an island. Timeghosts fluttered, but nothing specific told me what she was up to. I wasn’t sure if that was me frazzling or just normal Eva.

  Who knew anymore?

  “Take care of her,” Eva said to Tair.

  “I always will.”

  Warmth filled me up, pushing out a few more of my doubts. I had to take care of him, too.

  Together, the two of us climbed into our waiting car. I couldn’t help gazing out at the compound. It hadn’t been home long, but it was the closest thing I’d had to a home in a long time. Now it was a ghost town with only a few last shipping containers to be moved. Someone had even packed up the swing set.

  Eva lifted a hand in farewell as Tair clicked on the automatic drive.

  Fast as that, we were driving through the hologram. The gap closed behind us, covering the sprawl of crate-buildings with the illusion of endless trees and a bland mountainside.

  My breath fogged the cool window as the car sped us down the road.

  All things considered, it was crazy leaving the only place we were even a little bit safe. Maybe I was crazy, but it felt like the right decision. I reached across the seat to Tair. “Reset?”

  “We’d better.” He clasped my hand.

  A car ride at dawn wasn’t as fun to remember as snuggling at bedtime, but I let out a breath and fixed every detail in my mind.

  The scent of leather upholstery. Tair’s hand in mine. Both of us humming with tension, not sure what the future held, but ready to face it head-on.

  My vision doubled as the bookmark took hold.

  After a wave of nausea passed, I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “We’re as ready as we’re gonna be.”

  Tair squeezed my fingers.

  I was only sure of three things.

  Tair. My determination to live. And the need to take down the clone.

  The rest…

  I’d figure it out as I went.