Emergency: Parents Needed

by Jessica Matthews

  “Your fault?” she echoed. “How?”

  “I never should have taken her with us today,” he said. “I should have known seeing her home would bring back memories, open up old wounds of missing her mother, but I didn’t stop to consider how it might affect her. Instead, I was selfish and wanted her with me.”

  “You weren’t selfish.” She moved to sit on the coffee table in front of him. “I can understand why you’d hesitate to leave her with a sitter again, even one as great as Nancy. As for not thinking about how she’d be affected by going back to a familiar place, I’m guilty, too.”

  He didn’t seem convinced. “Maybe, but you figured out what would calm her. I didn’t.”

  “It was a lucky guess.”

  He shook his head. “It was more than luck.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. You would have eventually gotten the idea.”

  “When? Her fifth birthday?”

  “Sarcasm doesn’t become you, Joe. OK, so I thought of something to try. You would have, too, if you hadn’t been so exhausted. I was fresher and less frustrated than you were. That’s all.”

  He finished his beer, his gaze distant and speculative, as if he was on the verge of making a decision. A life-changing decision for all of them. A decision that probably wouldn’t bode well for anyone, including Joe.

  Maggie narrowed her gaze. “Don’t you dare tell me you’re giving up,” she warned.

  “It would be for the best,” he began.

  “What? Best for who?” She paused. “If you do this, I’ll…”

  He studied her with curiosity. “You’ll what?”

  What could she say? She’d never speak to him again? As threats went, it was weak, but if he had to be threatened to keep Breanna, did she want him to?

  On the other hand, maybe he simply needed someone to shut down his pity party…

  “You’re right,” she said coolly. “Go ahead and break your promise to me and to Dee. Wave your white flag of surrender. You’ve wanted an escape clause since the first day you got her. Far be it from me to convince you to do the right thing.”

  She rose and leaned over him. “You’re so quick to tell me how you’re afraid of being like your father who ran when the going got tough. Maybe you two are more alike than you thought or I imagined.”

  Warming to her subject, she added, “In fact, I don’t think you should wait until morning. Do it now. While she’s asleep. She can wake up in her new home.” She stormed into the garage for an empty box, then returned to find him standing in the middle of his living room.

  She shoved the cardboard container in his arms so hard he stumbled backward. “Here. I made it easy for you to start packing. Better yet, I’ll help you.”

  She yanked the box away from him and knelt in front of Breanna’s toy basket. Immediately, she began tossing in the rings, the stacking blocks, and then her stuffed lion and giraffe, waiting, expecting Joe to stop her.

  He didn’t.

  By the time she got to the bedtime story books, her hands were shaking with suppressed fury, but her anger quickly turned to pain as she stroked the colorful covers and remembered how Breanna had snuggled against her as she’d read the stories. As she realized she might not read those books to little Bee again, tears filled her eyes.

  Yet it was more than the potential loss of Breanna that made her heart ache. It was knowing she would lose Joe, too, because the two were a package deal. A few hours earlier she’d decided to convince him that loving someone didn’t have to be painful. How ironic to be proving how painful it could be.

  Suddenly, a large hand covered hers. “What are you doing?” he asked in her ear.

  She cleared her throat and rubbed away the wetness on her face. “I’m packing.”

  “Don’t.”

  “Why not?” She waited until she’d regained her composure before twisting herself around to study his face, the same handsome face that was lined with weariness and shadowed with determination.

  “Because Breanna needs her toys,” he said simply. “She isn’t going anywhere.”

  “Are you sure, Joe? Really sure?”

  “Of course I am. My thirty days aren’t over yet.” He paused. “Are you OK now?”

  As she held the books in her white-knuckled grip, she searched for the right words. “I was remembering the first time I read these books to her. The thought of never doing it again got to me.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you know something else?” she asked. “I’m jealous. Horribly, bitterly, jealous because you’ve been gifted with this precious child and don’t know what to do with her, while I would give anything to be in your shoes. I’m like the bridesmaid who’s never a bride, the aunt who’s never a mother. It was hard enough to live through the first time, but believe me when I say the second is much, much worse. And…” Her voice faded for an instant.

  “And…” she cleared her throat “…I don’t know if I can go through it again.”

  Upset at herself for revealing her most private thoughts, she rose, but before she could put distance between them, Joe was pulling her close. She held herself stiffly, refusing to accept the comfort he offered.

  “I’d never realized…” he said hoarsely.

  “Now you do.”

  “As glad as I am to hear what’s going through your pretty head, your basic premise was wrong.”

  She raised her chin to meet his gaze. “Oh?”

  “I wasn’t giving up.”

  Her eyes narrowed and this time, when she tried to leave his embrace, he let her. “I saw the look on your face.”

  “I’ll admit I was disappointed and frustrated.”

  “But why? Everything turned out—”

  He cut her off. “Because I wanted to be the one who knew what to do. I wanted to be the one with the answers, the one who rode in to save the day.”

  Now she really was confused. “But if you wanted those things, why did you call me?”

  “Because I couldn’t deliver,” he said simply. “Oh, I could have waited her out, I suppose, but that route seemed cruel. I phoned you because I couldn’t put my wants above her needs.”

  Remorse struck her in the solar plexus as she realized how badly she’d misjudged him. “Oh, Joe.”

  “As for giving up, we had this conversation before. I told you then that I wouldn’t do anything without talking to you first. Did you forget, or could it be that you still don’t trust me?”

  As much as it pained her to admit the truth, she had to be honest. He’d see anything else as the excuse it was.

  “Some of both,” she admitted. “You looked so unhappy and yet so determined…I’m sorry.”

  Anticipating him hurt by her obvious lack of faith, she was surprised when she saw calm acceptance in his expression, as if he appreciated her candor.

  “Under those circumstances, I can’t blame you,” he admitted. “The fact is, I had come to a decision. I can’t continue like this either.” He ignored her gasp. “I want you to move in with us.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  MAGGIE’S jaw dropped. “Excuse me?”

  “Move in with us,” Joe repeated, undaunted by her shock. “I know this comes as a surprise. I was surprised myself when the idea hit me, but it makes perfect sense.”

  A wrinkle appeared on her brow and her eyes narrowed slightly. “How?”

  “The next time we have a crisis, the next time Breanna has a crisis,” he corrected himself, “you’ll be here.”

  “I’m only a few minutes away,” she pointed out. “Crying doesn’t constitute an emergency. And if there was an emergency, may I remind you that you’re trained to handle one as easily as I.”

  “Breanna needs a woman in her life.”

  “She has Nancy.”

  “Only one day out of three. It isn’t enough.”

  “I’m already here for most of the other two. And when I’m not, she’s asleep.”

  Joe pulled out what he thought was his strongest argument. “Y
ou love her and she loves you.”

  “There is that,” she said with equanimity. “But what about our jobs? This won’t go down well with the powers that be.”

  “The captain knows you’re helping me.”

  “Helping isn’t the same as living together. Besides, think of how difficult it will be when we’re working. We’ll have to weigh our every word and action so no one will suspect. But even then, someone is bound to figure out what we’re doing and then we’ll have to pay the piper.”

  She had a point, but he refused to back down easily. “If you won’t move in, I’ll hire Nancy to live here 24/7.”

  “You’d resort to blackmail?”

  He nodded. “Yes.”

  “I see.” Then, “Why do you want this so badly?”

  Joe expected to see some indecision on her face, as if she were weighing her options, but he only saw curiosity and it puzzled him.

  “I’ve just spent the last five minutes telling you.”

  “Then it’s all about Breanna.”

  “Of course.” But as soon as he spoke, he knew he wasn’t being completely honest. He wanted her there for him, too. She gave him a hope and a confidence that no one else had.

  “Are you asking in terms of permanent or temporary?” she asked.

  Her question didn’t surprise him. Maggie believed in commitment even if he did not, although inviting her to move in was as close as he could come to giving her the permanence she wanted and deserved.

  Still, the lure of an enduring arrangement was strong enough to be disturbing to his long-held belief system. “Nothing lasts for ever,” he reminded her.

  She hesitated, a small frown marring her expression. “Do you ever think about the future? Not just next week or next month, but the future in terms of five or ten years from now?”

  “Of course I do,” he said, mildly affronted. “I wouldn’t have gotten where I am today if I hadn’t planned ahead and worked toward my goals.”

  “I was talking about your personal future, not your professional one.”

  He’d learned never to include another person in his long-range plans because he didn’t trust anyone to be reliable enough to remain there. However, now that she’d drawn his attention to his habit, his future did seem rather lonely. Lonely or not, though, he’d also learned not to look for or borrow trouble. It came on its own, without any help.

  “Isn’t there a bit of folk wisdom that says if one worries about today, tomorrow will take care of itself? If you follow that philosophy, today Breanna needs a mother.”

  “She probably does,” Maggie agreed.

  His spirits rose. “Then you’ll—”

  “No.”

  He stared at her, unable to believe she’d turned down what she wanted most—the very thing he was offering her. “No?”

  “No,” she said firmly. “If all I wanted was to be Breanna’s mother, I’d be tempted to accept. To me, though, it isn’t enough.

  “I also know that ‘for ever’ isn’t in your vocabulary,” she continued, “and you avoid ties like they were an infectious disease. You probably also think your upbringing somehow puts you at a disadvantage and makes you less worthy than you are.”

  She’d metaphorically read his mail! Her accurate assessment had his jaw dropping in surprise.

  “But if I ever decide to move in with a guy, it will be for one reason and one reason only.” She paused. “Because he loves me as much as I love him.”

  He understood why she felt that way. She’d been surrounded by love in one form or another and seen it in action since her birth. What he found interesting was how she clung to the hope of finding it for herself even after her experience with this Arthur had ended badly.

  But if she was trying to discover what his feelings were for her, she’d have a long wait. The truth was, he didn’t know exactly what they were. He’d already spent more hours with her than any other female in his life, including Dee, and he still wouldn’t let himself describe them for fear of jinxing what they had.

  “You’ll let me know if you change your mind?”

  “I will,” she promised, although from her tone he knew she’d made up her mind and wouldn’t set aside her decision.

  “There is one thing you could ask me that I would accept,” she added.

  He couldn’t imagine what it might be. “I’m listening.”

  “You could ask me for a date.”

  “You want to go out? Just the two of us?” Considering how she knew her way around his house almost as well as he did, how she’d folded his laundry and had even slept in his bed, their relationship was definitely running backward.

  “That’s what dates are, Joe. Two people. A couple. Going out together to get to know each other without work and children interfering.”

  The possibilities were more energizing than a caffeine high. He thought of their schedule and made a few mental plans. “OK. Friday night. Six-thirty, provided I can find a sitter.”

  “I’ll be ready,” she assured him.

  Over the next couple of days Maggie delighted in the dramatic progress they’d made that night. Breanna had latched onto her silky as a lifeline at bedtime and the nights from hell stopped as abruptly as they had begun. Joe was clearly settling into his new role of father. From the way he stroked Breanna’s hair as he slipped her into bed, teased her out of a temper when she didn’t get what she wanted, acted more at ease when he was with her, Maggie suspected he was falling in love with Dee’s daughter, as she had. She hoped he realized it before those dreaded results arrived in his mailbox.

  Best of all, she’d stood her ground on the moving-in issue and Joe hadn’t walked away. She’d half expected him to enforce his all-or-nothing suggestion, especially when he’d tried to bring Nancy into the mix, but she’d successfully called his bluff.

  Although she’d hoped he’d admit to his feelings for her, she honestly hadn’t expected him to say that he loved her. She suspected he probably didn’t know what love really was, but she was determined to show him. What better way to achieve her objective than to officially spend time together as individuals, not as colleagues or parents?

  If that wasn’t enough of a reason to celebrate, their work relationship had shifted to a higher level that played to each other’s strengths. If a situation demanded diplomacy or a woman’s understanding, Joe automatically deferred to Maggie. If a patient needed a firm tone or tough love, she allowed Joe to become the man of the hour. It was the paramedic version of the good cop, bad cop routine, and it worked.

  However, there were still occasions when Maggie couldn’t read Joe completely. She had to bite back her protests and remind herself to defer to his judgment and trust him to make the right decision. Now was one of those times…

  “What took you so long?” forty-six-year-old Lamar Sandler complained as soon as Maggie and Joe walked into his home, courtesy of the door he’d left unlocked specifically for their arrival. “I called thirty minutes ago. Aren’t you guys supposed to respond within five minutes?”

  “We came as soon as we could, sir,” Maggie said respectfully, although inside she was holding onto her temper with both hands. It had been an extremely busy day and she hadn’t seen any signs of a slow-down. Between a car accident, a house fire, a middle-aged woman with chest pain, a ninety-year-old man who’d fallen out of his chair and fractured his hip, and another first-aid class with the Boy Scout troop, they’d had less than an hour to call their own since they’d arrived on duty that morning. Now it was nearly 10:00 p.m. and they’d gotten the call about a man with back pain. It was a good thing it was Joe’s turn to be senior paramedic and ask the questions because her patience supply was running close to empty.

  “What seems to be the problem?” Joe began, taking Sandler’s pulse while Maggie took his blood pressure.

  “No ‘seems’ about it. I’m in horrible pain,” he announced. “My back is killing me.”

  “One-fifteen over seventy-five,” Maggie interrupted, reporting
normal values.

  Joe acknowledged her figures with a nod. “What happened, sir?”

  “Nothing happened,” he snapped. “My kidney stone is acting up.”

  “Did you call your regular physician?”

  “Don’t have one yet. I just moved to town and my appointment with the urologist isn’t until next week. I was going to drive myself to the hospital, but the pain’s so bad, I can’t. It was all I could do to get dressed before you got here.”

  Maggie’s gaze drifted to the man’s clothes. Everything about them reeked “‘expensive”, from his Italian loafers to his polo shirt with the fancy insignia.

  “How long have you been hurting?”

  “All day. It didn’t start out too bad, but now it’s excruciating. You have to do something.”

  “On a scale of one to ten, how’s—?”

  “A ten,” Sandler replied before Joe could finish his question. Maggie’s internal warning system began clanging. Unless he had an open fracture or third-degree burns over fifty percent of his body, he couldn’t possibly have pain worthy of a ten.

  “You’ve had kidney stones before?”

  Sandler grimaced. “I’ve been through all sorts of procedures from waiting for the stone to pass on its own to basket extraction, stents, and lithotripsy.”

  “You certainly are familiar with your procedures.” Joe sounded impressed. “Most people can’t recite their histories so well. You make our job so much easier.”

  Lamar preened under Joe’s praise. “A man has to look out for himself. I’ve read the stories about hospital screw-ups. They aren’t going to happen to me. Just so you know, hydrocodone works best. Are you going to give me some or not?” he demanded.

  Maggie glanced at Joe, but his gaze was unreadable. “We’ll do what we can,” he told Sandler.

  Maggie wanted to protest, even though he was the senior paramedic on this particular run and his decision was final. Couldn’t Joe see that Sandler’s confrontational behavior, his lack of a regular physician and asking for a specific drug by name were all warning signs of a drug-seeker?

  On the other hand, if they withheld medication, their documentation would have to be above scrutiny. If they didn’t cover their bases, someone could accuse them of denying this man proper treatment and that was a nightmare she wanted to avoid.