4 Big Easy Hunter

by Maddie Cochere

  I didn’t know it was going to happen. It even took me by surprise, but I burst into laughter. It must have still been contagious, because Aunt Sony was soon laughing as hard as I was. When I regained control of myself, I told her, “Yes, I do know. I was the last person on the face of the Earth to know, but I do know.”

  “Nathaniel turned out just like his dad,” she said with a warm smile. “I don’t know if he ever found out, but his dad was gay, too.”

  My mouth fell open, and I stared openly at her. She started to laugh again.

  “But … but … he had a child,” I stammered. “Is Nate adopted?”

  “Oh, heavens no,” she said. “Thirty years ago many gay people were still cautious about coming out, and Nathaniel’s dad didn’t want anyone to know. He married his lesbian friend, and as far as I know, no one ever did find out.”

  I was still confused. “He married a lesbian?”

  Aunt Sony laughed again and said, “He sure did. They could hide behind each other while living their lives. They decided to try it one time, and she got pregnant.” Her laughter was coming harder now.

  “Oh my gosh! You’re kidding. Nate’s parents were gay, and Nate doesn’t know any of this?” I was astounded she had shared the family secret with me.

  “Not that I know of,” she said. “I think Alfred and I were the only ones to ever know. I thought I’d tell Nathaniel while he’s here this week, but he seems happy and comfortable with his relationship, and he’s obviously not having any anguish over being gay, so maybe we’ll keep this between us girls.” She gave me a smile and a wink.

  “Ok,” I said slowly. It was a pretty big secret to dump on me and expect me not to pass it on. I was pretty sure I’d be dumping it on Darby later. “Where are his parents now?” I asked her.

  “Oh, it was such a sad thing,” she said. “They were killed in a car accident when Nathaniel was twelve. He went to live with relatives in Florida, and he hasn’t been back here since. He practically lived here as a child, and I’m glad Alfred and I are getting to see him again before we pass.”

  “You both seem like you’re doing really well living here by yourselves,” I told her. “Do you have help with the property?”

  “Alfred’s a veteran, so the women’s auxiliary in town comes out twice a week to see what we need, help around the house, and bring groceries. A couple of times each month they take me into town so I can do some shopping. It’s a pleasant and peaceful existence, and Alfred and I want to stay independent here as long as we can.”

  I nodded and smiled at the sweet woman. I put my head back and started the chair into a slow rocking motion with my foot. Aunt Sony said something about going in for lemonade, and I closed my eyes.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  “Hey, wake up,” Darby said poking me.

  It took a second for me to realize where I was. I had been so comfortable, and so tired, I’d gone to sleep in the rocking chair. I had no idea how long I’d been asleep.

  “We could hear you snoring clear out in the woods,” he said.

  I tried to trip him with my foot as he passed by, but he was too quick for me. He and Nate settled into the loveseat. Their hair was wet, their clothes were dry, and they were both grinning from ear to ear.

  “Where are the roses?” I asked Nate.

  “Roses?” he asked, confused.

  “I’ve been smelling roses. Don’t you smell them?” I asked.

  “Now that you mention it, I smell them, too,” Darby said.

  “I don’t think there are any roses around here,” Nate said. He yelled toward the open doorway, “Hey, Aunt Sony! Where are the rosebushes?”

  The odor of the roses was strong now. Aunt Sony stuck her head through the doorway and said, “There aren’t any roses here. That’s just my mother.”

  “Your mother?” Darby asked wanting clarification.

  “Yes. The roses come and go. I like to think, because roses were my mother’s favorite flower when she was alive, it’s her when I smell them now. I thought she might show up today to see our guests,” she said with a big smile.

  I glanced at Nate and saw his eyes were wide with white showing all around. The smell of roses was cloying now. Nate stood up and tried to say something, but instead, he fell into a heap on the wooden porch.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  Normally I liked taking long, soaking baths, but tonight I was rushing. I wanted to get washed and out of the bathtub as quickly as possible. The large, open bathroom gave me a feeling of bathing out in the open for all the world to see. The door didn’t lock, but there was a large keyhole for a skeleton key, and I kept envisioning something peeking through the keyhole at me. The windows had only small tie-backs with no shades, and although on the second floor, I knew someone out in the yard, or up in a tree could easily see me. The paranoia was creeping up fast.

  The smell of roses was still faint. Poor Nate. When he found out the scent of roses meant he was in the presence of a ghost, he passed out cold from fear.

  I almost giggled aloud remembering the look on his face, but the water suddenly came on in the bathtub. Surprised, I reached up and checked the handles. The hot water needed to be tightened. As I was trying to stay calm and rationalize the sudden flow of water, the handle turned all by itself, and the hot water came on again. I stood up and screamed – not a loud blood-curdling scream, but a good scream nonetheless. Within seconds, Darby threw the bathroom door open and rushed in to see what was wrong. When I saw him with Nate behind, I pulled my arms up against my chest while covering my face with my hands, and I screamed again - this time from mortification.

  Darby grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me. I practically jumped out of the tub and threw myself against him. I was white with fright as I pointed to the water running out of the faucet and cried, “The hot water handle turned all by itself, and the water came on!”

  I heard Nate fall to the floor behind us.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  My heart was racing as I bolted straight up in the bed. The unfamiliar surroundings once again gave me a start until I realized where I was. I pushed the button on my watch to light the dial and saw it was 1:10 A.M. I sat still for a few moments trying to determine if something awakened me or if it might have been a dream. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I flopped back onto the pillows.

  After watching reruns of Lawrence Welk with Aunt Sony and Uncle Alfred, I excused myself to go to bed at 9:00. It had been a long day, I was exhausted, and sleeping until morning seemed like a good idea. We would then be headed back into New Orleans to what we believed would be a proper plantation for a meet and greet of all of the early attendees to Dell and Lisa’s wedding.

  I had already been up once. At 11:00, I awakened and realized my silk pajamas weren’t going to make it through the night. The house wasn’t air conditioned, but with all of the windows open, there had been an ever-so-slight breeze during the day, and it wasn’t altogether unpleasant. But the still night air was stifling, hot, and humid. Nothing was moving. My silk pajamas were sticking to my body, and I rummaged through my luggage to find something cooler. Even a t-shirt felt like too much clothing tonight.

  I came across a pair of thin, cotton, slightly see-through, baby-doll pajamas I had purchased for the trip. I knew Mick would love their sexy little look, and I couldn’t resist buying them. After changing, I climbed back onto the bed. Feeling much better, I soon went back to sleep.

  Now here it was after 1:00 in the morning, and I was wide awake. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the numerous night sounds. There were crickets for sure. Oh my gosh! A million of them. Or maybe I was hearing cicadas. Or maybe it was both. A lot of this noise was probably frogs. Aunt Sony had said something about cricket frogs making loud noises. And now, here was an owl added to the mix.

  The more I concentrated on the sounds, the louder they became until it was thunderous. I scooted off the bed and quietly opened the bedroom door. I peeked around the hallway, and all of the doors with the exception of the
bathroom were closed. The house seemed quiet and creepy. I tiptoed down to the kitchen and poured a glass of water from the pitcher in the refrigerator. A glance into the foyer showed the front door to be wide open. As I stepped out onto the porch, a shudder ran down my spine, and I had visions of a crazed ax murderer coming into the secluded, unlocked house during the night and chopping all of us up. No one would find us until next week when the ladies from the auxiliary came to visit, and the stench of our mutilated bodies would -

  “Can’t sleep?” came a voice from the dark.

  The sound startled me so much, I jumped ten feet in the air and spilled most of the water down the front of my babydolls.

  “Darby!” I hissed at him. “Geez, you nearly gave me a heart attack! I thought you were an ax murderer!”

  He laughed softly and said, “Come here. Sit down with me.” He patted the spot beside him on the wicker loveseat. “What are you doing up?”

  I sat down with a sigh and noticed that he, too, was in his bare feet. He was only wearing a pair of cotton shorts. “It’s hot, I feel like I can’t breathe, the noise is deafening …” my voice trailed off. I looked at him and said, “I’m sorry I was such a pain in the butt today. This is all a little out of my wheelhouse.”

  “I know,” he said with a laugh. “It’s actually a little out of Nate’s wheelhouse, too. He didn’t want to stay the night after the bathroom incident.”

  “Seeing a naked lady scared him that much, huh?” I asked innocently.

  Darby laughed louder but quickly returned to hushed tones. “Susan, that’s going to go down as one of the funniest things we’ve ever gotten ourselves into. A ghost, a naked you, and a passed out Nate. We should write a movie.”

  “It wouldn’t be a very long movie,” I said sarcastically, and he laughed again.

  We sat quietly for a few minutes. The night sounds seemed soothing and much softer out here on the porch.

  “There’s something on your mind. What is it?” Darby asked.

  “Oh, I’m just restless, I guess,” I said. “We’ve only been gone one day, but I feel uncomfortable here without Mick. I know it’s because of all the trouble back home, but if you weren’t here, I don’t think I’d stay. I feel like something bad is going to happen here without him.”

  “Susan, that’s silly talk,” he said. “I think you feel that way because we’re out here in the sticks. If we were staying in the city, you’d probably have a completely different outlook.”

  “Yeah. You’re probably right,” I told him. “I suppose I can manage here one more day.”

  He picked up my hand and held it in his. “We’re lucky, aren’t we?” he asked in a wistful tone.

  “In what way?” I asked.

  “Mick. Nate. All of us together,” he said. “The day you showed up on my doorstep with your bowling ball, and baseball bats, and ironing board … well … it was a good day, and my life has been better for it.”

  I could feel sentimental tears starting to well up in my eyes. “Me too,” I said as I leaned my head against his shoulder. “Did you know I didn’t want to buy a house because I couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing you all the time? Or not be able to cook with you at the drop of a hat? Mick and I saw some great houses, but I didn’t want any of them.”

  He smiled, laughed a little, and said, “Mick mentioned it.”

  “He did?” I asked with surprise. “I never said anything to him.”

  “You didn’t have to. Mick said you looked at every kitchen through the eyes of how it would be to cook here with Darby, and every house through the eyes of how long it would take Darby to get over here.”

  “Oh my gosh,” I laughed. “I did do that. Poor Mick.”

  “But, Susan, he loves you enough to have bought the apartment building and make all of those amazing changes. He’s really a great guy.”

  “I know,” I whispered happily. “But if you and Nate ever move, I’ll kill you,” I said with a finger pointed in his face.

  He chuckled, threw his hands up in self-defense, and said, “Don’t worry, we’re not going anywhere.”

  And with that, a naked and sputtering Nate, came running out the door, plummeted down the stairs, and face planted into the ground.

  Three hours later, I was letting myself into my suite at the Royal Sonesta hotel in downtown New Orleans.

  Chapter Seven

  “There’s so much to choose from. What do you guys want to do?” I asked Darby and Nate.

  We were perusing four large poster boards on easels. Each was headlined by a day of the week – Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Events were listed, and we were to write our names under the activities we wanted to participate in. Everything already appeared crowded as we were late arriving at LeBlond Plantation in the northeastern part of the city, and we seemed to be the last of the guests adding our names to the boards.

  Poor Nate had to be taken to the hospital last night. The race down the porch steps and the subsequent fall in the yard had bestowed a broken nose upon him. Darby grabbed some clothing for him, but he refused to go back into the house. Aunt Sony did her best to tell Nate her mother didn’t mean to frighten him, but he was too freaked out to stay. We promised Aunt Sony we would stop out to visit and have lemonade one more time before saying good-bye and heading for home.

  In the emergency room, Nate told us he had awakened and realized Darby wasn’t in the room. He peeked out the bedroom door, and as no one was around, he crept au naturel over to the bathroom to use the facilities. Just as he was finishing, he was enveloped in a shroud of roses, and the water in the bathtub came on. That’s when he took off running through the house, out the front door, and tripped when he reached the bottom of the porch steps. If he hadn’t looked so pitiful, I know I would have died from laughter right there in the emergency waiting room. Darby moved over beside him and put an arm around his shoulders in an effort to console him.

  We eventually checked in to two lovely suites at 5:45 in the morning. At 9:00 Darby was banging on my door. I had left a do not disturb notice on the hotel telephone and had turned off my cell phone.

  “What?” I asked crankily as I opened the door in my pajamas.

  “Good morning, Sunshine,” Darby said cheerfully.

  “What is wrong with you?” I asked pointedly as I stumbled back into the room and flopped face first back onto the bed. How could he possibly be so happy after so little sleep?

  “Susan, honey, get up. With traffic, we’re looking at a half hour drive out to the plantation, and it’s going to be hard enough to get there by 10:00.” He walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He came back out to stare at me on the bed. “Susan, get ready. I’m going to go find some coffee for you. We can all catch up on our sleep tonight. Come on – off the bed!”

  I dragged myself into a standing position and gave him a little wave as I dragged myself into the bathroom and shut the door. I stripped down, stepped into the shower, and promptly let out a loud yelp. He had only turned on the cold water, and I hadn’t stuck a hand in first to check the temperature. If I could have seen into the other room, I would have bet money he was still standing there and laughing at me.

  I tolerated the cold water for a few seconds before adding the hot, and it didn’t take long to feel alive again. I gave my hair a partial blow dry and worked the still-damp hair into a loose, sideswept braid coming over my right shoulder. It would still be down for the day, but off of my neck and much cooler. I rummaged in my purse for a concealer. A little bit under my eyes would help to hide the slight puffiness and darkness from lack of sleep. Mascara and a swipe of lip gloss, and I was ready to find some clothes. I expected everything would be casual for this first day, so I grabbed a breezy pair of shorts with a wrap tie at the waist. They had an abstract print of bold colors in deep blue, dusky greens, and bright red. I tucked in a loose-fitting, sleeveless, button-down, white shirt with pockets on the front.

  At 9:40, there was a knock at the door, and I open
ed it to both guys smiling at me with gifts of coffee and a muffin. I threw on white strappy sandals, grabbed my purse, and we were out the door.

  Dell and Lisa had greeted us warmly at the plantation, but Dell couldn’t contain uproarious laughter when he heard the story of Nate’s broken nose. Hopefully, by Saturday, he could remove the small bandage giving support across the bridge. The swelling and bruising would surely be diminished by then, too.

  This was going to be a big wedding, and there were easily over 100 people on the grounds already this morning. Everyone was automatically scheduled today for a tour of LeBlond Plantation followed by lunch at Brennan’s, but we needed to choose the rest of our activities.

  “Let’s start with tonight,” said Darby. He proceeded to read the choices to us, “Pat O’Brien’s, an evening jazz cruise on a steamboat, or a nighttime Cajun bayou tour?”

  “Listen you guys,” I said. “I know we’re supposed to stay together, but I don’t want to say what I want to do, and then you both feel like you have to follow me. If you want to take the bayou tour, which I’m positive I don’t want to do, then we’re simply going to have to agree to do what we want, even if we aren’t together. Ok?”

  “Well, let’s vote,” said Darby. “Nate, you pick first.”

  “Pat O’Brien’s,” he said. I’m good for just sitting, drinking Hurricanes, and listening to music.”

  “Susan?” he asked me.

  “Pat O’Brien’s was my choice, too,” I said smiling. “Sitting, drinking, music – perfect.”

  Darby laughed and said, “It was my choice, too. And it’s only three blocks from the hotel, so if anyone gets tired, they can walk back.” He wrote all of our names under Pat O’Brien’s.

  Wednesday afternoon offered numerous selections to include a shopping package, a French Quarter walking tour, a Garden District tour, and a mystery tour. We all chose the mystery tour. When I was a kid, my mom and dad hauled me around on one-day bus tours. We went on the mystery tours when they were offered, and they were always unusual and fun.