Take My Breath Away

by Wendy L. Wilson

  Abby: I know you love him and I trust your judgment, but even if it is ok between you 2 now . . . isn’t it kind of sudden bringing him home? I mean with everything going on, do you think it is a good idea?

  I don’t even have to think about the reasons I want him to come home. I want my dad to meet him sooner rather than later; while he is still himself. There is no way for me to know where this thing between Judd and I will lead, but I do know that I am absolutely freaking crazy in love with him and I truly believe he is head over heels for me, too. So, if there is a chance that this is my forever, I want him to know my dad.

  Me: That’s the point, Abby. I want him to meet Dad. I really do! Honestly, the whole thing was a big misunderstanding that will take me forever to explain, but I really want him with me. We’ve already missed so much time. Be happy for me! Please. :)

  Abby: I am happy for you, Lyssi-B!! And I get it! I think Mom and Dad will love him. I love you and I am so glad you found each other again! I can’t wait to hear the details!

  Me: Yay!! I love you! Well get ready, we’ll be there in less than 20 minutes. Tell Mom and Dad. C u in a bit!!

  Abby: Lol! I will! <3 U

  Nineteen minutes later, my parents greet Judd with open arms, but Abby still seems a bit skeptical. I really should fill her in.

  After catching her snippy tone when she greets him, I quickly pull her aside to explain things. “Abby, it was a big misunderstanding. He was in a wreck this summer and wasn’t able to call.” Her eyes widen with my words as I go on, “Then when he did call, Kyle intervened . . .” I stop talking and raise my eyebrows, peering over Abby’s shoulder to see Judd speaking to my parents.

  Holy crap . . . I abandoned him before I even introduced him. I cannot believe I did that!

  Right then, I lock eyes with Mom as she squeezes Judd in a tight hug that I am sure has him about to run for the hills. As she hugs him, she gives me a not so casual wink of approval.

  Blush creeps up and burns my cheeks when I become conscious of all that I shared with her last weekend. I quickly cover my face with my hands to steer off the embarrassment. Oh Dear Lord! I told her some very personal things about our relationship. I even went into detail of how spellbound I was by his abs and toned arms when I first saw him.

  “Alyssa,” Abby calls breaking me out of my mortifying trance. “Was Tristan hurt, too?”

  Her question catches me off guard, but then I look over at Mom practically flagging me down with a secondary grin and a thumbs-up that tells me that she approves and is more than likely remembering my story word for word now. Oh great! Let’s hope she didn’t share all that with Dad.

  Abby waves me off laughing as I watch Dad give Judd a firm hand shake and then lean forward to say something to him. I cannot make out the words but from Judd’s intense stare and sudden stillness, it looks as if it makes him a little uneasy. As soon as it dawns on me to worry, they both break into a smile. Dad closes the introduction with a firm hug that surprises me and brings a wide grin to Judd’s face.

  My guess is that it has been a while since he has had a parent wrap their arms around him, but I could be wrong. The topic of Judd’s parents seems touchy and a little closed off so we have yet to discuss that; I’m hoping eventually he will open up and talk about it. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t extremely curious, though. Whatever the issue is with his parents, it’s a shame. They have one hell of a son that they should be proud of.

  It’s nearly dinnertime and we are all gathered in the kitchen. Dad seems somewhat weak, but is still managing to get around.

  “Do you need some help, Mom?” I ask at the doorway of the kitchen with Judd holding my hand tightly.

  “No, sweetie. You and Judd take a load off. We have it taken care of,” Mom answers back then turns her attention to Dad, who is working his way to the back patio door.

  “I’ve got the grill going already, honey,” Mom calls out as Dad unlocks the back sliding door. “I was just going to throw the steaks on there while the rolls and casserole cook in the oven.”

  “I can do it.” Dad smiles, turning to go around the breakfast bar.

  Abby stands at the stove with Mom, greasing a pan for the potato casserole while Judd and I sit at the kitchen table. We soak up each other’s company and watch as Dad grabs the back of each barstool for support. I look past Dad, assuming he is headed to grab the plate of steaks on the counter, but right when I’m about to open my mouth and dart out of my seat to help, Judd beats me to it.

  “I can get those.” He rounds the bar and pulls the plate into his hands along with a bag of corn on the cob. “Do these get grilled, too?”

  I settle myself back in my chair, watching as Judd so effortlessly fits right in with my family.

  “I was just going to boil them. Are they good grilled? I’ve never made them that way,” Mom asks as she pauses in her stirring to wipe her hands on a towel.

  “Oh yeah, Tristan . . . ahh, my brother, makes them like that all the time. You just grill them up husk and all.” He looks at my mom with excitement in his eyes, like a kid learning to ride a bike for the first time.

  Glancing over to Dad who is still resting behind one of the bar stools, he adds, “I’ll come out and help you with the meat and we can grill these up, too.”

  Dad smiles and then they both stroll out to the backyard. Judd flashes me a huge grin as he turns to slide the door closed. I’m so glad I asked him to come.

  After the door is shut, I move a couple chairs over so that I have a perfect view of the back patio. My heart fills with so much warmth as I watch Judd and my dad together. After Judd gets everything piled on, he takes a seat with my dad at the outdoor dining table.

  Abby comes up behind me and leans down to wrap her arms around the back of my shoulders.

  “Aren’t you afraid Daddy is going to scare him off with ‘the talk’?” She laughs and I roll my eyes.

  A loud laugh comes from Mom’s direction and we both turn to look at what has her so tickled.

  “Oh girls, you don’t have to worry about that. He already breached that topic when he asked him if he was going to need his shot gun.” She laughs harder and my mouth drops open from shock.

  “Is that what he said to him when we first got here?”

  I knew Dad had said something that brought a certain level of concern to Judd’s face earlier but it was quickly snuffed out and Dad had laughed. He must have been teasing him. Mom notices my look of terror and laughs even harder.

  “Oh relax,” she scolds me in a playful tone. “Once he saw how alarmed Judd was, he told him he was kidding.”

  I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and look back out the patio door to Dad and him. Maybe I should worry. Dad may be even more protective now that he knows he won’t be able to take care of me forever. I cringe at that thought, but then the ache in my heart fades away when I see him and Judd talking and carrying on.

  “I wouldn’t worry about him threatening a shot gun. I would worry about him approaching the topic of the birds and the bees with Judd. How embarrassing would that be?” Abby adds and then walks over to Mom, who has a devious smile on her face.

  I look between her and all that is going on outside, not 100% sure I shouldn’t crash their good time and break up any humiliating subjects they may gravitate towards.

  “Don’t worry about that either,” Mom says.

  Abby laughs and looks at me. I’m sure my eyes are about to pop out of my head.

  “Calm down,” Mom insists, “Your Dad and I trust you.”

  She levels me with a serious expression and with that one look I fear that instead of Judd having to endure this topic, it seems that my conversation is veering in that exact vicinity. Just great.

  “We trust you and besides you’re nineteen. You’re an adult and we believe that you are fully capable of making wise decisions.”

  I sigh, relieved that this conversation took a turn before it reached a mortifying point.

  But then
in true Mom fashion, she decides to go there, “You are using some type of birth control, right?”

  She raises her eyebrows with a small smile touching the delicate features of her face.

  I look past her and see Abby bent at the waist, silently laughing with her arms clutching her stomach. Oh she thinks this is funny, does she?!

  “Of course, Mom, Abby took me to the clinic when I was fifteen to get on birth control. She didn’t want to get on the pill without someone else, so she took her little sister along for the ride.”

  All amusement drains from Abby’s face as she stands up straight with her mouth drawn open.

  Once Mom turns to glare at her, I stick my tongue out at my sister with a small gratifying smile tugging at the corners of my lips.

  “Not what I was expecting but ok then,” Mom says in an exasperated tone while scowling at Abby.

  I hold my laughter in, although, I want to roar from the look on Abby’s face. How’s that for shock value?

  “I don’t exactly approve of the ages you chose to make these decisions, but either way you both are adults now,” Mom says, looking between Abby and I.

  My stomach hurts from trying not to laugh. Abby crosses her eyes and sticks her own tongue out when Mom looks back at me. I can’t hold it in any longer and we all break out into a fit of laughter, Mom included.

  The glass door slides open and Judd and Dad step inside, looking around at the disorder unfolding in the kitchen.

  “What’s so funny?” Dad says on a chuckle.

  I grit my teeth, silently pleading that Mom does not answer. Mortification does not even touch what I would feel discussing birth control methods with my dad.

  After discarding the plate piled high with steaks and corn onto the counter, Judd steps in behind me and places his hand on the small of my back. I lean back in an effort to get as close as possible. Just this little contact is like paddle boards to my heart, sending it into a frenzy of heavy thuds and drums deep in my chest.

  We all sit down for dinner and listen as Judd and Dad brag about their skills on the grill. They get along and cut up just like two high school friends that ran into each other after years of being apart. Our conversations flow from one topic to the next and after hearing Judd’s deep voice joined in, I realize my parents treat him as if he is just another member of our family.

  It doesn’t take long for the evening to tick by.

  “Well I guess we are going to hit the hay,” Dad announces, standing to give me a hug.

  I kiss Dad good night and try to hide my own yawn. I’m exhausted and depleted of all energy, but even as fatigue claws its way into my body, I have to smile at the reasons behind it.

  Mom nudges Judd and I up the stairs towards my room after we all exit the kitchen.

  “I’ll be to bed in a minute. I’m just going to help them get settled.” Mom tells Dad as we make our way up the stairs. Wonderful, are we in for a lecture about no sex under their roof?

  Once we get to the top of the stairwell, Mom leads me by the elbow to their old room and opens the door.

  Looking around, I am stunned to see that the room has been transformed into a cozy guest room that you would expect to find in a quaint Bed and Breakfast somewhere. All the details that she has put into it, tells me that she has been trying to keep her mind occupied and it makes my heart ache.

  In complete awe, I walk in with Judd a little ways behind me and Mom. As my hand runs over the raised stitching of the embroidered comforter, I smile at all the hard work and effort that Mom put into making it. I had seen her working on each piece of this quilt through the summer while sitting with Dad. She carefully stitched tiny petals and leaves on each flower and quilted a beautiful lattice design between each block.

  My eyes wander the room and take in the hand sewn curtains on the window, the crocheted lace runner hanging across the center of the dresser and then at last, my eyes fall on the wrought iron corner shelf. It displays a rickety wooden birdhouse Dad, Abby and I made when he was first diagnosed with cancer. It was a trial before we made the one that now adorns the corner of the front yard.

  The next shelf down holds a clay ashtray that Abby made Dad back in grade school even though no one in our family has ever smoked. My eyes continue its search down each level of the shelf and I see a wooden box Andrea made Dad for Father’s Day when she must have been about twelve.

  Then on the last shelf sits a small tower of four blocks of wood messily screwed and nailed together then colored on with crayon. On the edge of each block are all of our names.

  That was the first masterpiece I ever worked on with Dad in the garage. I was only five so he helped me swing the hammer and hold the screw gun. I had been so proud of putting those scraps together that I insisted on putting my name on the very top block and showing it off to my sisters.

  Later that night, Abby had taken it from me and wrote her name on another one of the blocks. I was so upset that she had ruined my artwork, but Dad had settled the fight by calling Andrea out of her room, giving her a crayon and instructing her to write her name on the next block.

  He had told me that it signified the way our family had been built and then he turned the tower around to face him, scribbling something on the bottom block with absolute determination in his eyes. Flipping it back around, he pointed to the bottom block where he had neatly wrote ‘Alex loves Angela.’

  “First it was just your Mom and I, but as the years went by we added more blocks until we were a family.” I recall his words and then hear my tiny, squeaky voice reply back, “Daddy, I want you to have my tower since you started it, but promise you’ll keep it forever,” just like it was yesterday his voice rings in my ears, “I promise.” My eyes glaze over with emotion.

  “Mom, it’s beautiful. You did such a good job decorating it.” I gulp down the emotion that is overwhelming me and point to the shelf.

  Mom beams with pride as she looks in the same direction.

  “I can’t believe he kept all of these,” I say to her as she gives me a quick hug.

  “Of course, he kept them. He cherishes anything you girls give to him. He is as sentimental as they come. He still has the boutonniere I gave him for our very first high school dance.” She smiles so brightly, looking off in the distance as if revisiting a lovely memory.

  She clears her throat and turns to Judd, who uncomfortably shifts from foot to foot as if he is intruding in on a private moment. She reaches her hand out, grabbing his arm and pulls him closer to us.

  “Ok, so here’s the deal.”

  Oh no, this is it. She is going to embarrass me.

  “So, I know you two probably stay at each other’s apartments and all. I’m not so old that I don’t remember being your age, but . . .” I look over at Judd and grit my teeth and he just responds with a nervous grin. “ . . . I would like you two to stay in separate rooms while you are in our house.”

  I look at Mom and nod in agreement. That wasn’t so bad after all.

  Mom gives Judd a huge hug and then kisses my cheek. She heads to the door, but then spins to face us at the last minute.

  “So . . . no hanky-panky while you’re under this roof.”

  Wow and she really went there again. She’s on a roll.

  My mouth is hanging open and I am sure Judd’s jaw has dropped to the floor as well, only I’m too self-conscious to look.

  Mom laughs at our reactions, turns and grabs the door to close it.

  For a moment, I am confused at this. The no hanky-panky speech is not jiving with the fact that she is about to leave two horny nineteen year olds in a room behind a closed door.

  Pausing before stepping out, she adds, “Now visit as long as you want before lights out, but no funny business.” She covers her mouth to hide a giggle before going on, “But, if by chance, you two would lose track of time and fall asleep in the same room, it would just be our little secret. Night, kiddos.”

  Mom gives us a playful wink.

  “Ahh . . . good nig
ht,” Judd quietly stutters in a baffled tone.

  Yep, I think she definitely remembers being my age. I sigh as the door clicks shut.

  The night gets away from us and just like Mom had suggested or warned, we do lose track of time and we do wind up falling asleep together, wrapped in each other’s arms. Thankfully, sleep deprivation keeps us from breaking Mom’s rule. We crash for the night and sleep clear into late Saturday morning.

  I wake up before Judd and slither out from beneath his arms. As soon as I move, he clutches for me but then settles back into a blissful sleep, embracing the comforter in his arms as if it were me.

  Sitting on the edge of the bed, I take a minute to admire the way his dark brown hair flips up around his ears; the way his dark eyelashes rest on his cheeks, and the way his breathing comes at a steady tempo that I could listen to for the rest of my life.

  He lowers his eyebrows into a painful expression and I can’t help but wonder what he is dreaming of. I stay by his side for a few more moments, marveling at his perfection and eventually make my way downstairs.

  I spend most of the morning with Dad while Abby and Mom play around with new recipes in the kitchen. Dad appears to be doing well, although I quickly notice that his energy is depleting so much faster than it was last week.

  Shortly after lunch, Dad exhaustedly disappears into his room for a nap. Sneaking in his room afterwards, I lie beside him and watch as he breathes in and out, already in a deep sleep.

  A bit later the sound of fabric rustling in the doorway catches my attention. With my feet hoisted up on the bed alongside Dad and my back wedged against the hard wooden headboard, I pivot my neck and see Judd casually leaning against the doorway, arms folded with an unreadable look on his face.

  The sight of him instantly makes me smile. Turning my body back to Dad, I press a small peck of my lips to his forehead and then quietly slip off the bed to join Judd.

  As soon as we are out of the room, his arms encircle me and he places a passionate kiss against my lips, making me weak in the knees and my head dizzy.