Miracles and Dreams

by Mary Manners

  “No.” Misty dropped the beans again as if they were burning embers. She collapsed into a ball, her head lolling into her hands. A high-pitched shriek filled the air, battling waves of thunder, and it took Jack a moment to realize the squeal was coming from Misty—she was wailing.

  “Hey, don’t do that.” He quickly closed the distance between them and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Misty, please…”

  “Please what?” Her voice was rapid-fire. She shrugged him off. When she glanced up, her blue eyes smoldered and tears streaked her cheeks. “Go away, Jack.”

  “No.” He stood over her as a crack of thunder rocked the ground. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You have to.” Lightning danced like flickers of static over a live wire as she stood to face him. Though tears dripped from her chin, her voice held steady as she repeated, “You have to go, Jack.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “In that case…” Her chin lifted and her mouth curled into the defiant little pout Jack remembered. Good, they were getting somewhere now. “I guess I’ll call the police.”

  Oops, not the direction he was aiming for.

  “And tell them what—that I want to see my daughter?” He paused for a moment, his gaze unwavering. Though Misty’s words had wounded, his pride refused to show it. “You know, maybe that’s a good idea. We could straighten this mess out a lot faster.”

  “You made this mess, Jack.” Misty’s lips turned down, and she swiped tears from her cheeks. “You.”

  “If that’s the case,” he held his voice low, level, and clenched his hands in an effort to control his temper, “Then I’ll do whatever it takes to fix it.”

  “Why now?”

  “Misty—” Jack took a step toward her, grimaced when she backed away in a counter-measure. “I wish you’d quit doing that.”

  “I wish a lot of things, too.”

  “You’re not making this easy.”

  “You expected me to?”

  “I expected…” What, exactly, had he expected? He turned away to pace the width of the drive, slapping the thighs of his jeans. This was all wrong—everything was wrong, like a slow-motion replay of the days leading up to his previous departure. He sure didn’t want to play that scene again.

  Dear God, make it right…guide me to make it right…

  Turning back, he took two giant steps toward Misty, closing the gap before she could react. He reached for her hands, grasping her smooth, delicate fingers in his. “I’m not here to hurt you—or Allie.”

  “It’s too late for that.” Though she didn’t pull away, sobs came with a vengeance, making Misty’s entire body quake. “Just go, Jack.”

  “I can’t….I don’t want to.” The realization hit him like a rockslide. He drew her into his arms, sheltering her as the sky opened up and rain began to splatter them, the drops matching the cadence of her tears. “I want to make things right with you, and I need to see my daughter.”

  ****

  Misty’s head threatened to explode.

  This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.

  The words grew to a chant that matched the throbbing at her temples. As her vision clouded over, she disentangled herself from Jack’s arms and gathered the nearly-empty bag of coffee beans.

  His scent clung to her—spearmint gum and soap and a hint of rich earth that seemed to follow him wherever he went. Somehow, Misty managed to unfold herself and find her footing. Heart skittering, she staggered blindly toward the stairs and used the railing as a lifeline while she scaled to the porch.

  “Misty…” Jack’s voice was a far-off echo. “Wait.”

  “It’s raining.” Drops fell in huge, sloppy plops, like bullets from the sky. The wind kicked up, whipping her damp hair in a wild, dark wave. “I have to go inside.”

  “We need to talk.”

  “You should get out of the storm, too.” She nodded slightly, though the effort cost her, and heard the slap of his boots over concrete as he followed.

  They snaked through the living room and into the kitchen, where Misty collapsed into a chair at the table. Her laptop sat open and a flurry of notes and color-coded file folders scattered the table.

  “Coffee…please,” she managed. “Or there’s a good chance this headache is going to kill me.”

  Jack crossed to the sink; water ran and splashed into the carafe and then the coffeemaker reservoir before the nearly-empty bag of beans was jostled from Misty’s hands.

  “Where’s the grinder?”

  Misty lifted a finger, pointed blindly.

  “OK, then.” The machine whirred as it crushed the beans, and Misty felt her heart crushing, too.

  How can this be? How can—

  As Jack searched for mugs, cabinet doors slammed and the explosion in Misty’s head lifted her from the seat. She groaned.

  “Stop that.” The words were little more than a grunt. “My head…” She lowered it into her hands, massaged her temples.

  “Creamer?”

  “Fridge.” Somehow, her lips formed the words. Her vision was slowly, painfully, returning. “Top shelf, back right corner.”

  “Sugar?” Jack two-stepped around the kitchen, his bulk filling the space. Working with tools—heavy equipment—had been good to him. The muscles that strained beneath a snug black T-shirt were proof. And he had a beard now…more like a scruff that gave him a rugged, almost dangerous edge. Misty gave herself a mental slap for noticing as he paused in his search and turned to her. “Misty, do you have any sugar or that fancy stuff in tiny little pink packets?”

  “Next to the toaster.”

  “Spoons?”

  “Oh, for goodness sake, Jack.” She lifted her head slightly, scowled. “Check the drawer.”

  “Found them.”

  The coffeemaker sputtered, and the rich hazelnut aroma coaxed Misty from the edge. Though the throbbing continued with a vengeance, her vision had cleared.

  Not a good thing. Jack was real…he was here, puttering around like he belonged…in her kitchen. And he smelled as good as she remembered. The faint scents of sawdust and spearmint whispered over her as, outside the bay window, thunder crashed. Rain splattered the glass with such force Misty thought it might break.

  “Take this.” Jack placed a mug of coffee in her hands. The warmth calmed and the inviting aroma soothed. “Drink.”

  She took a sip and sighed deeply. Perfect…just a hint of sweet. How had he known just the way she liked it? She hadn’t begun to drink coffee until after Allie was born—and Jack had long-since left.

  He eased into a chair across from her, his gaze holding steady while his forehead creased with worry. “Better?”

  “Slightly.”

  “I’m sorry, Misty.”

  “You should be.”

  “That’s how it’s going to go down, then?” He shifted in the chair and its legs scraped the tile she planned to mop sometime today—after the Web project and before the lawn. “We play the blame game?”

  “This isn’t a game, Jack.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “No, I don’t.” She shook her head. “Why don’t you tell me?”

  “Why don’t you stop being angry for just a minute?”

  “Angry?” Misty’s voice squeaked as resentment bubbled over. “You think I’m angry? Well, angry doesn’t even begin to put a dent in what I’m feeling. No, siree.”

  “OK, then.” Jack sighed and held up his hands, fingers splayed in a gesture of surrender. “Let’s start over.”

  “Are you crazy? I’m not starting a relationship again with you.”

  “I meant the conversation, Misty.” Jack shook his head, lifted his coffee mug, and studied her over the rim as he gulped, swallowed. His Adam’s apple bobbed. “I meant, let’s start this conversation over. That’s all.”

  “Oh.” The slight stab of disappointment came as a shock to her. “I thought you meant…”

  “Us?” He leaned back in the chair, balancing on
two legs.

  “Yes, us.”

  “Well, I’d say you’ve made your feelings perfectly clear as far as that goes, right?”

  6

  “Is that her?” Jack stood and walked over to the refrigerator, taking a photo from the collage Misty had tacked together with magnets. His fingers trembled as he studied the image of the little girl, her contagious smile captured in time. The child’s long, black hair echoed his texture and Misty’s length. Her eyes mirrored his while her button nose had a gentle slope, just like Misty’s. “Is this Allie?”

  “Um…” Misty hesitated. Her fingers clenched and unclenched as if itching to snatch the photo from him. “Yes, that’s her.”

  “She’s beautiful.” Jack’s gut tumbled. “My daughter.”

  “Quit saying that.” Misty leapt from the chair, jarring the table so coffee sloshed over the rim of her mug and splattered the file folders scattered there. “Having a child doesn’t make you a father, Jack. Being there for the child…that’s what makes a man a father.”

  “So, now you’re an expert?” He leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms, holding tight to the photo as a storm swept through, threatening to rip his insides apart. A huge, bushy-haired black cat wandered into the room to see what the commotion was all about. He took one look at Jack and then wandered over to Misty, plopping onto the floor and curling into a fuzzy ball at her feet. “Come on, Misty. Give me a break.”

  “Give me a break, Jack. Five years—almost six—of changing diapers, soothing nightmares, reading bedtime stories—” Misty tore a healthy wad of paper towels from the holder beside the sink, “—and helping with homework, to name just a few things, has made me an expert.”

  “Ouch again.” Jack rubbed his eyes, turned slightly so she couldn’t see the tears that burned. Outside the bay window, he noticed toys scattered along the overgrown lawn. The space could use a decent play set and maybe a sandbox. Did little girls like to play in sandboxes? “How many daggers do you have in that pouch you’re carrying, Misty? You can’t know how much it hurts to hear this.”

  “No, I can’t.” She sopped up the spilled coffee and lobbed the soiled towels into a trash can tucked beneath the sink. “And you can’t even begin to know how much it hurt the day you left here—just walked away without a second thought.”

  “That’s not true. I’ve thought about you every day.” His heart fractured in a way no spackle could mend. “And the only reason I didn’t think about Allie is because…well, I didn’t know about her.”

  “Yeah, right. Nice cover.” Misty grabbed her mug, marched to the coffeemaker and filled it again. “Does the lie ease your conscience?”

  “I’m not lying, Misty.” Jack turned back, his gaze capturing hers. “I’ve never lied to you. I didn’t know about Allie. Really, I didn’t.” He tugged a letter from his pocket.

  “That’s the letter I wrote you. So you did get it. I’m not hallucinating.”

  “Yeah, I got it all right…in the mail yesterday. It’s the first I heard…the first I knew.”

  “That can’t possibly be true.” Misty shook her head vigorously. “I came to see you the night before you left for California. I left you that letter. I told you about Allie, Jack, and that I wanted to work things out. I was willing to go to California with you.”

  “I know that now.”

  “I guess it didn’t matter. By that time, maybe my offer just wasn’t good enough. I guess you weren’t willing to compromise…not even a little bit.”

  “But I was, Misty. I would have.” Jack walked to the window, rested one hand on the frame as he peered into the roiling sky. “I loved you.”

  “Don’t, Jack. Don’t say that.” The sink drain gurgled as she dumped the coffee she’d just poured. Ceramic clattered when she tossed the mug against the stainless steel. “I waited for you at the Landing just like I said I would—I waited most of the night, making excuses for why you were delayed, and how apologetic you’d be for making me wait—for scaring me—when you finally showed up.”

  “I would have come.”

  “But you didn’t.”

  “How could I, when I didn’t know you wanted me to until yesterday?” He crossed the kitchen, closing the distance between them. “Look at it, Misty. Look at the letter.”

  “I don’t have to look at it. I wrote it. I remember all-too-well exactly what it says.” She shook her head. “It’s…embarrassing.”

  “There’s more.”

  “I don’t want to hear your excuses.” She shook her head once more. “No. This isn’t happening. It can’t be happening.”

  “Would you just stop for a minute—stop being so pigheaded and stubborn and read what’s in the envelope?” He shoved it into her hands. “Please.”

  ****

  The urgency in his voice startled her.

  I’m not lying, Misty. I’ve never lied to you.

  Misty bristled at the words, because she knew, deep in her heart, that they were true. Jack had always been brutally honest—sometimes to the point that it hurt. But if he was being honest, then this…all of it…just didn’t make sense. She’d gone to his apartment that last afternoon, left a letter with his roommate. Though Jack wasn’t there, his roommate had promised to give it to him as soon as he returned.

  “Please, Misty.”

  She reached for the crumpled manila envelope, her fingers trembling, and lifted the flap. The contents spilled…a sheet of plain white paper enfolding her letter, still tucked carefully in its own matching envelope.

  She hesitated. “Jack, I don’t think…”

  “Read it, Misty.” The longing in his gaze could have melted the polar ice caps. “If we’re going to work this out, you have to know the truth—and so do I. It’s the only way.”

  “OK.” She unfolded the paper carefully, scanned the words as she read silently.

  Jack,

  I’m selling the apartment complex and found this letter wedged behind one of the dressers while I was cleaning. Thought about opening it, to see if it was important after all this time, but that just didn’t feel right. So, I’m forwarding it. I figured you’d like to have it. Better late than never, right?

  “No.” Misty dropped the paper, her fingers scorched by the words, her pulse like rapid fire. She backtracked, trying to make sense of things. “It can’t be.”

  “But it is, Misty. Do you believe me now?”

  The room swirled, and suddenly she couldn’t breathe. She grabbed onto the counter, her hand tangling in the coffeemaker’s cord. The carafe slipped free, tumbling. Glass shattered across the tile and what was left of the coffee splattered her jeans, stinging her legs though the fabric.

  “Stay with me, Misty.”

  “I can’t…” A wave of chills swept over her as the room went black. The last thing she remembered was the sound of Jack’s voice echoing through an endless, tunnel.

  “It’s going to be OK, Misty. I promise…everything will be OK.”

  7

  “Come on, Misty…you can do it.” Cool water, a soothing touch. “Come on, open those huge baby blues.”

  She wanted to sleep, to remain in the safe cocoon of her unconscious. But he was jostling her.

  Jack was shaking her.

  “You’re scaring me, Misty.” His breath, warm and minty, caressed her cheek. “In about two seconds I’m going to scoop you up and carry you to the car for a visit to the emergency room.”

  “No.” She struggled to sit up, but something was on her chest—Lucky. Gently, she nudged him aside and heard his paws hit the floor before he scampered off.

  “That’s one persistent cat.” Jack’s voice swirled up. “Stood sentinel here the whole time, watching.”

  “He’s a smart cat.” Misty’s head felt like it was full of Jell-O. “Give me some room. It hurts to breathe.”

  “Easy.” Jack took a slight step back. “You bumped your head on the counter when you went down.” He swept hair from her forehead, placed a cool cloth alo
ng her brow before running his fingers along the side of her head. She winced when he hit a tender spot. “I’ve never seen you faint.”

  “You’ve never disappeared for six years, and then, out of the blue, come back.”

  “Yeah right.” He paused. “How bad does it hurt?”

  “My head?” With great difficulty, Misty managed to pry open her eyes. His face, still scruffy with the unfamiliar beard, came into focus. “Or my heart?”

  “Your head—for now.” Jack’s lips curled into a half-grin. “We’ll get to your heart later.”

  “I’m OK. Just give me a minute.” She clenched her teeth, scanning the room. Her gaze caught the time on the DVD player’s digital clock. “Oh! I have to get Allie. She’s done at lunch today—teacher work day.”

  “You’re not going anywhere, Misty.” Jack pressed a hand to her shoulder, forcing her to lie back again. “You’re in no condition to drive.”

  “I promised I’d pick up Ralph, too.”

  “Ralph?”

  “I don’t have time to explain. Just move, please.” Misty swung her legs over the edge of the couch and lifted her head from the pillow Jack had tucked beneath her neck. The room swayed, and she fought a wave of nausea. “Ugh.”

  “Easy.” Jack settled in beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Just relax a minute. Get your bearings. Allie’s fine. Your mom went to pick her up.”

  Misty drew a breath, waited for her vision to clear. “Mom? But how did she know?”

  Jack waggled his cell phone. “I gave her a call.”

  “Oh, no. You shouldn’t have done that.” Misty scooted away from him, to the far end of the couch. “She’ll be worried about me—and shocked you’re here.”

  “She knows I’m here.” He watched as she nudged to her feet and took a tentative step, clinging to the arm of the couch. “I stopped there last night—I mean early this morning—before I came here.”

  “Trying to butter her up, get your hooks into me again?”

  “My hooks?” He shook his head, whistling. “Wow, haven’t you become the cynical one?”