Scarred

by C. M. Steele

  "I just..." He knocked me upside my head. I felt the room spin for a moment.

  "Spit it out. Fuck. You're a nerdy disappointment." I remembered wanting to cry but I held back.

  "You need to learn to be a man. Sit your ass in that chair. You're going to grow some hair on that puny chest of yours."

  He handed me a glass with a clear liquid and told me to drink. I put it to my lips but the smell hit my nostrils and I shook my head, no, and put the glass down. That's when he really lost it. He smacked me several times in the head and didn't stop until I did what I was told.

  After I had drunk the disgusting liquid, he let me go to bed.

  I locked up the file, almost wanting to shred it instead, but there were questions I needed answers to from my uncle. First, though, I needed to see Elena.

  Rushing home, my bellman told me she took the dog for a walk. I turned back around and went to the park.

  I made it down the path and there she was with none other than Michael Cole.

  I marched toward them, anger etched on my face. Michael smiled up at me, but not in an antagonistic way. He told her I was coming and she turned around with the biggest smile. That was when I noticed she wasn't holding the leash; he was.

  "Dex, you're home early." I pulled her into my arms and kissed her possessively, letting Cole know I knew what he was up to.

  "I missed my woman,” I said holding her close to my side.

  "I thought I told you to stay away from him?" I whispered in her ear gruffly. I wanted to punch him in the face, ruining his manipulative smile.

  She pressed her hand to my chest and looked into my eyes. “Michael saved Bruno. He broke free from his leash and I couldn't catch him." She blushed in embarrassment. Her damaged leg hadn't been taken care of properly after the accident. Damn, the accident. Just thinking about it made me feel murderous. Everything was different now that I knew the truth, but I didn’t want it to be. She had every right to leave me.

  "Well, thanks, Michael. Let's go, Elena." I took the dog's leash in one hand and Elena's hand in the other and walked us back to the condo. We barely made it out of the park before she whispered something.

  “What, Elena?” I asked, not hearing her clearly.

  "Um…I hope you're not mad at me. I didn't purposely lose control of the dog,” she said.

  I stopped her right in her tracks, turning her to me. I knew she hadn’t done anything wrong.

  Tipping her chin, I said, "Babe, I wasn't mad at you. You're five foot nothing..."

  "Hey! I'm taller than that," she argued which made me laugh because she was so damn cute even when I was ticked.

  "Not by much. Besides, what I meant was that to a grown man you’re a tiny, little thing. He could have stopped you from leaving. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt, but I didn’t trust why he was there. Hell, I still don’t trust him. I want to knock his ass out.” I was strong and never felt the need to test my strength, but the newness of our relationship brought out my insecurity and I wanted to beat every fuck who even looked at her.

  “Well, thankfully, he got Bruno for me. I’d hate to lose him.”

  “I know, my Elena.”

  “I want you to stay away from him. I can’t take seeing you with that jackass. He’s got women coming and going from his place all the time. Half of them are in skimpy-ass clothes.”

  She started laughing hard. “What the fuck is so funny?”

  “He’s not sleeping with them.” I highly doubted that, but maybe he wasn’t interested in women.

  “What? Did you find out that he’s gay?”

  “No, remember he asked me out.” I hadn’t forgotten. That’s why I didn’t like his ass around her. “No. He’s a photographer. Those girls are just some of the shoots he does.” So that was why he always had a parade of females going in and out of the building. It made sense, but that didn’t change the fact that he could be fucking them.

  If she posed for him, he’d want her in his bed, and I worried his game was too tight and I’d lose her. “Just so you know, I’m not letting you pose for him. I don’t want anyone else enjoying what’s mine.”

  “You’re nuts. I’m not model material.”

  “Don’t start with your leg. I’ve seen some ugly-ass women and you’re fucking stunning.”

  “Yes, but like you said, I’m five-foot-nothing.”

  “Well, you’ve got that but still, don’t fall for his excuse to shoot pictures of you, okay?” I warned her and that was apparently her tipping point.

  “You know; you’re starting to piss me off. I’m not stupid. I didn’t fall into your lap because you smooth-talked me. In fact, you’re far from smooth. I wanted you. Before that, I stayed perfectly pure. I’m not a gullible broad. This isn’t the first time a man has talked to me or tried to sleep with me.”

  “Damn it, Elena. I don’t think you're gullible.”

  “No? I seem to see it differently. How about when you told me you could get me an account manager? That I need to spend wisely. I let it go the first time because I was still so in awe that you were even talking to me. You constantly remind me to eat. Then you were against me going back to my condo like I’m not safe without you. Either that or you don’t trust me. Whichever way, I need some time alone.”

  “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just don’t trust others with you. I don’t want a man looking at you, let alone talking to you. I want to beat my chest and hold you close so everyone knows you’re mine.” We walked to her apartment to get some of her things, or at least, so I thought. We weren’t going back home together.

  “I just want you safe. Don’t you understand that?”

  We got onto the elevator with the dog. I hit the stop button and pinned her to the wall. “Look how easy it was for me to get you where I needed. Try fighting me off.” She struggled but couldn’t break free.

  “You’re hurting me, Dexter.”

  Releasing her hands, I apologized. “I’m sorry.” I didn’t mean to grasp her so tightly. I just wanted to show her why I worried, well, besides my jealousy. “But this is what I’m talking about. You couldn’t get away from me.”

  “That’s because you’re a beast man. Most men aren’t built like you.”

  “Yes, but there are plenty of men who are much stronger than you. You’re smart. You know that if you’re walking alone, you’re not safe. I’m worried. When Bill, the bellman downstairs, told me you went to walk the dog, I wasn’t worried that you’d run off with another man. I was worried you’d get hurt or some shit. What happened the first day we met?”

  “Someone knocked me to the ground,” she reluctantly admitted.

  “Precisely. I’m sorry that I seem controlling and paranoid but losing you would destroy me.”

  “Then what about the money thing? That wasn’t to protect me. I wasn’t in physical danger.”

  “No, I just wanted to have something to say to you. I wanted to care for you and all that shit a good man should be doing for the woman he loves. Look at me. I love you so much that I let that runt over there rip apart my ottoman the other day without freaking out. That’s got to count for something.”

  “It does, but you’re still overprotective.”

  “I can’t change that. Maybe one day when he’s a big powerful beast, I might relax because when you take him for walks, a bastard won’t dare approach or think about hurting you.”

  “You do know you’re insane, right?”

  She was softening, but her resolve was tougher than I gave her credit for. “Insane when it comes to you. Please don’t do this. Please don’t leave me.”

  “I’m not, but I need to go home anyway. You need to trust me, and I need to get more clothes.”

  “No…”

  Elena reached around me and hit the button to get the elevator moving again. “Don’t ‘No’ me. I’m staying home alone and doing some thinking about us.”

  “How long do you need?” I asked. I didn’t like this, but if I was going to get he
r to stay with me, I had to back down—for the time being.

  “I don’t know.” She sighed looking up from her purse with her keys in hand.

  Seeing her holding them only made me angrier. “Damn it. Come on, let’s get you inside. And don’t get on me about being bossy. You’re taking my soul with you, so I don’t have the patience to deal with this.”

  “Please don’t do this, Dex. Don’t manipulate me into staying.”

  I arched my brow at her because I didn’t think I was. I was pissed as fuck and beyond scared. She didn’t even know the truth and she needed space. I couldn’t tell her what I found out today or I’d lose her for good.

  I didn’t kiss her goodbye because I couldn’t. All I did was wait for her to walk into her condo, then prayed for the patience not to knock down the door and carry her back to ours.

  I walked back to my home ignoring any of my neighbors, but they were all used to it anyway. Changing into my workout clothes, I headed down to the lowest level of my building where I have my gym. The first thing I hit was the punching bag. I had a week of pure bliss and it was gone. I knew I shouldn’t have gone to work today. I beat the bag until I cut through my taped hands and started bleeding. That wasn’t enough, though, the weights were next. My heart was fucking breaking with each rep. It sucked that I could finally feel, and she claimed to care. She never told me she loved me, not that I wanted her to say it if she didn’t mean it, but it gutted me.

  I was covered in sweat contemplating going over there, but I couldn’t. I had to show her it wasn’t about trust. It was about love and fear. I knew I’d fucked up, but I was new at this. Dropping the weights hard, I didn’t give a fuck about the noise. Let them bitch, and they’ll be out the damn door. It was my fucking building.

  I roared loudly in anger then noticed the figure in the mirror. I turned and there she was. “Um…I thought about it.”

  “And…I can’t be without you either, Dex. I love you.” She ran up to me and into my arms. I was covered in sweat but didn’t care. She was here. Elena came back. Our lips clashed, begging and fighting to dominate each other. We moaned. I was too horny, too happy to waste taking her upstairs. I leaned her down onto the mats and tore off her pants.

  “Don’t leave me again,” I growled.

  “Don’t boss me around,” she snipped back.

  “Not going to happen. I love you and you’re my world, but I’m still the boss.”

  “Whatever. I’m not going anywhere.” She caved.

  I barely dropped my shorts before I was seated fully inside her. Fuck, the beast in me demanded fulfillment. Thinking I was going to lose her had me ready to drown my sorrow in sweat. Her nails clawed at my back as I punished her pussy. “Ah!” she cried out, instantly coming on my cock. My balls took the cue and I came with her. I felt every pulsing shot of cum empty into her. Pressing my head to her chest, I needed to hear the heart that belonged to me. She had mine since the start.

  We laid there in a heaping pile of sweat, our bodies still intertwined. I didn’t know what had changed her mind, but it didn’t really concern me because she was here and that was enough.

  ~~~~~

  When he left me at the door without a kiss, I felt the first pang hit my gut. Before that, I'd been too mad to notice. I could tell that he was trying to keep me in this fragile little box. Whether he did it with good intentions or not, I wasn’t having it. I didn’t want him to look at me like I was broken and frail. I wanted him to see me as competent and able. He never questioned my intelligence, more so just my naïveté. Being a millionaire out of the blue did make me a target of stupid decisions and of predators, but I knew what it was like to struggle both emotionally and financially, so I held onto my money and didn’t flaunt it.

  I missed him already. Anytime he left the room, he would kiss me like it was the last time he’d see me, but this time—nothing. Since we met, he'd been the one holding on tightly and not letting me get away, but his quiet goodbye wasn't something I was ready for. I'd been at my condo with Bruno when there was a knock at my door. My hopes jumped when I thought he wasn't letting me go that easily, but it wasn't Dexter.

  It was a neighbor from down the hall, Reggie Jeffers. We didn’t really speak to each other, but I noticed him a couple of times. There was nothing frightening about him. He was young, attractive, and he seemed to be fit.

  “So, what brings you back home? Did you and Dexter Price break up?” What the fuck? We hadn’t spoken more than a few handful of times and nothing personal. I wasn’t surprised he knew who Dexter was, but the fact that he was all up in my business ticked me off a bit and made me a little uncomfortable.

  “Actually, I just came to get some things before I headed back over to his place.”

  "It's just you haven't been around for a week and then he just leaves you here. I assumed he was done with you. I was about to ask you out. You’re unbelievably hot.”

  “Thanks, but sorry. Dex will be here shortly. He went to pick up dinner for us.”

  “Okay. Well if you ever split, I’m just down the hall.” I didn’t like the harsh look in his eyes. It was like he had a sinister plan in mind for me.

  I nodded. My pulse was jumping. His interest and knowledge of my whereabouts freaked me out. Closing the door and dead-bolting it, I packed a bag and held Bruno in my arms, needing his comfort. I tried calling Dex to come back, but he didn't answer. He’d been right. Something about my neighbor was off and it would have taken him just a second to overpower me. I could have been in deep shit then.

  I had to get out of here. Calling the front desk, I asked for help with bringing my things down. I waited until they arrived, checking the peephole before I opened the door. My neighbor peeked out his door further weirding me out.

  Once I got to Dexter’s floor and there was no answer, I walked around the building looking for him and that's when I heard movement in the gym below. I wasn’t too sure how I’d be received given my adamant refusal, but makeup sex was phenomenal. Damn, I purred over and over again, lying in bed now, pleasurably worn-out. I moaned and rolled over and cuddled the pillow while Dexter made us some food. It smelled wonderful. I didn't know how he had energy left to get up and cook. I didn't want to move.

  I heard him call up for me in a deep, tempting summons as he climbed the stairs. "Elena, my love. Time for dinner."

  The man could make food sound sexy. He opened the door and I smiled. He was wearing a pair of pajama pants with a white tee. Sex on a stick. I thought he was so irresistible that I didn't notice the scars that bothered him so much.

  "You're so lucky I'm tired, mister. You look so delicious." I eyed him lecherously.

  "Well, so do you, but I need to feed your little ass." He was getting cranky with me, but it was all a show. He was a big teddy bear when it came to me.

  "Just because you're an overgrown beast...doesn't mean I'm little."

  "No, the fact that you're short and thin makes you little. Now get up before I come get you."

  "That's supposed to make me want to get up?"

  "Yes, because if I get close to the bed, you're going to get it rough and hard."

  I twisted my lips in faux contemplation. "Fine. I coming."

  He didn't say anything, but he winked. What a perv. I couldn't wait until later.

  ~~~~~

  Last night had been a test of my moral character. I should have told her the truth about what I knew, but I couldn’t risk losing her. The truth would send her running as fast and as far as she could go. I loved her so much. Going into the office made me nervous. I felt like anything could happen, but I needed to get my act together. Elena left because she thought I was being a patronizing dick. I couldn’t let her know that I was a dick and was freaking out.

  Most of the day flew by because I’d been gone for so long. I had a lot of work to catch up on. Like before I met her, I dove right into the pile of important shit I had to do and sign. There was something on my desk that caught my attention. It was called the Co
llins Fund. It came out in installments of a million dollars a month for two years. It was a trust that was promised by my father before he died. I knew Collins was a common name, but something about it seemed off to me. I wanted more information about it. By the end of the day, I wished I’d have left it alone. It was one more thing on my list of guilt that was growing daily. If she ever found out, I would never see her again. I had to keep everything a secret.

  Chapter 6

  We spent the next two weeks blissfully happy. Learning my lesson that I wasn’t as safe as I presumed but too afraid to tell him about Jeffers, I stayed inside most days while he worked. He would probably break that guy’s neck for even knocking on my door. We met with a specialist who was able to get me into therapy sessions a couple of times a week. The therapist was a woman which pleased him to no end. Dexter would even pick me up when I was finished.

  They were starting to help. I felt stronger and more sore at the same time if that were even possible. Even though I was beginning to see a bit of progress, some of the damage were permanent. There were parts of my calf and thigh that couldn’t be helped. The foster home just hadn’t had the money to spend on the treatment I needed. They assumed my young age would be my saving grace; unfortunately, it didn’t work.

  Before the next therapy session, I had to stop off at the local Walgreens near our condos. After getting what I needed, I ran back to my home which I hadn’t been to since last week after getting more clothes. Dexter wanted me to move out and into his place, but I hesitated to agree. It was only a matter of time before I moved all the way in, but I wanted to wait because he was too good to be true. I had a feeling if the test I bought came up with two pink lines, I would be doing it a lot sooner.

  Within twenty-five seconds the results were in; I was going to be a mother. It was a lot to take in. Having Dexter's baby made us official. We hadn't talked about his family for weeks, so I didn't know what he told them about me. Gosh, fear got to me. What if I wasn't a good mother? My parents were terrible caregivers. That bitch left me with a drunk who almost got me killed.