Red Herrings and White Elephants

by Albert Jack

  To Get Someone’s Goat means to really irritate and annoy a person. This is an American phrase from the early part of the 20th century. Goats have long been considered to have a calming influence on horses and for this reason were often the stable mates of highly strung race horses, especially while being stabled at an unfamiliar race track. But sometimes a fancied stallion’s chance of success would be torpedoed by shady opponents, who would slip into the stable and take the goat away. The result was an irritated and nervy racehorse who performed badly in the race.

  To hear something On The Grapevine means to have obtained information through gossip and rumour while remaining unaware of the true source. William Morse invented the telegraph in America and first used it in a demonstration to Congress on 24 May 1844. Such was the enthusiasm for this new system of communication that companies all over America rushed to put up telegraph lines, often cutting many corners. In 1859 a Colonel Bee began work on a line between Virginia City, Nevada and Placerville, California and to save time and money decided to use trees instead of fixed telegraph poles. But the natural movement of trees soon pulled and stretched the line, leaving it coiled and tangled resembling one of the wild grapevines in California. From then on any general source of information was known in that area as ‘the grapevine’ and the term quickly spread throughout the land.

  When something has Gone Haywire it is considered to be an uncontrollable rambling mess. The expression originated in the early 20th century in America with the introduction of a strong, thin metal wire, which was used to bind hay bales. Once snipped, the taut haywire would spring dangerously through the air and then be piled up in the corner of a yard in a tangled mass. Later farmers would use the rusting haywire to make temporary repairs to fences and tools and the overall chaotic mess with everything connected with the haywire resulted in the phrase being used to describe general untidy disorder.

  Hobo is an American term for a travelling worker, rather than a ‘tramp’ (who travels without working) or a ‘bum’ who does neither. The origin of the phrase is the word ‘hoe-boy’, a freelance farm worker travelling with his tools (hoes) looking for work.

  To Hold The Fort is to maintain normality and keep things running in the absence of others. During the American Civil War (1861–65), General Sherman immortalised the phrase during the battle of Allatoona in 1864. When gathering his army on top of Mount Kennesaw, near Atlanta, Georgia, Sherman signalled down to General Corse that reinforcements were arriving and he must ‘hold the fort’ until he had gathered enough men to mount an attack on the siege soldiers. The phrase made its way to Britain via the poet Philip Bliss (1838–76), who wrote about spiritual assistance in times of difficulty: ‘Hold the fort for I am coming, Jesus signals still.’ Popular American evangelists Moody and Sankey introduced the poem to the British public during their religious campaign in 1873.

  Keeping Up With The Joneses is an expression for attempting to stay the financial and social equals of better-off friends or neighbours. Of American origin, the phrase began in a popular comic strip-cartoon of the same name by Arthur R. Momand. Beginning in 1913 Keeping Up With The Joneses ran for 28 years and was syndicated throughout US newspapers. Momand based the comedy around his own family’s real-life attempt to maintain a show of material wealth on a limited income. Years later, in 1955, Momand wrote to CE Funk explaining his ideas. ‘We had been living way beyond our means in our endeavour to keep up with the well-to-do class which lived around us in Cedarhurst. I also noticed most of our friends were doing the same: the $10,000 chap was trying to keep up with the $20,000-a-year man. I decided it would make good comic-strip material, so sat down and drew up six strips. At first I thought of calling it Keeping Up With The Smiths, but in the end decided “Jones” was more euphonious[pleasant sounding]. ’

  A Kangaroo Court is an irregular (or illegal) tribunal that is conducted with complete disregard for due legal process. In America during the 19th century it was common for court procedure to miss out legal steps in order to obtain a popular or convenient conviction. This was known as jumping though the procedure of justice. It was first recorded in America in 1853 and has clear links with the Californian gold rush of 1849, which was joined by many Australian prospectors. During this time informal courts were set up to deal with so-called illegal prospectors who were known as claim jumpers. Many of these were Australian and it isn’t difficult to see how the phrase passed over into wider use. It became a well-known phrase in Britain when applied to the dubious tribunals used by trade unions to deal with members who were regarded as strike-breakers.

  To Knock The Spots Off means to beat easily, without too much effort. This phrase is of American origin and can be traced back to the mid-19th century when it was in common use. At carnivals and festivals all over America one of the most popular side shows was the shooting gallery, where cowboys, farmers and children would all pit their skills on the firing range. The most commonly used target, and the one in greatest supply, was a playing card and each sharpshooter would aim to remove as many of the ‘spots’ on the card as possible. The one who shot them all off would emerge as the winner.

  Lock, Stock And Barrel is a phrase used to indicate something in its entirety. This phrase has an American origin and can be traced to a US senator who persuaded the Senate to manufacture muskets in three parts: the lock, the stock and the barrel. This way the weapons could be easily transported in separate parts, preventing theft, and damaged guns could be rebuilt using spare parts from others. The idea was adopted and from that day onwards, soldiers found they needed the ‘lock, stock and barrel’ (everything) in order to make up a weapon.

  A person Throwing Mud Around is generally bad mouthing and slandering somebody. The origin of this expression is nothing to do with the hapless Dr Mudd (see Name Is Mud), but a section of the American newspaper media in the early 1800s. Journalists who sullied other people’s reputations were regarded as ‘mud slingers’ and their newspapers ‘the mud press’. More recently it has become known as ‘the gutter press’.

  Your Neck Of The Woods is used to imply a person’s neighbourhood. Way back in the early history of colonial America, the British began putting names to places in an attempt to give that new country some sense of its own identity. In doing so there was a deliberate attempt to avoid traditionally English-sounding names such as Dell, Fen, Moor, Heath and Ford. Instead words like Hollow, Fork, Stick and Foot were used. The only word that seems to have travelled is ‘neck’, which had been used in England since the mid-1500s to describe a narrow strip of land surrounded by water. But the settlers across the pond used the word to describe narrow strips of woodland in the new country and native Indian settlements, often located in the forests, were identified by which ‘neck of the woods’ they could be found in.

  To be Sold Down The River means to have been misled and that a promise or other assurances have not been met. It is an American phrase by origin and relates to slavery in the 1800s. Wealthy landowners would hand pick the slaves they regarded suitable to live on the estates with their families in relative comfort. Some were even promised such a lifestyle as they left Africa, India and the East Indies in search of a better future. The reality, however, was that those regarded unsuitable to live with the families were put on a boat and sent down the Mississippi river where they were sold to the plantations as slave labour. There the living conditions were appalling and the wretched folk had been well and truly ‘sold down the river’ by the land of opportunity.

  A Straw Poll is an expression used to describe a study of general opinion. It is widely used in politics to assess the overall views of the people by taking small random samples of opinion and using that to measure wider feeling. The use of the phrase began in America in 1824 when reporters from the Harrisburg Pennsylvanian questioned a sample of voters in Wilmington in an attempt to predict the overall result. Their findings proved accurate and were considered such a success that the idea caught on and has been used in almost every election ever since
. The actual wording comes from the practice of throwing a handful of straw into the air to determine the direction of the wind.

  Taking A Rain Check is a term used when declining an invitation on one occasion, but keeping it open for another day. The phrase began during the 19th century when American baseball clubs noticed dwindling crowd levels during the winter months. It became obvious that fair-weather fans were not interested in games played on cold or wet days, especially if there was any chance of bad weather stopping play. That was until one bright marketing spark came up with the idea of promising a ‘rain check’ (or rain ticket) to any fan who wanted to leave, up to a certain point during a match, because of bad weather. The ‘rain check’ became a safety net for fans as it would entitle them to attend a game on another day if the one they paid for was washed out, ensuring their entry fee had not been wasted. The best part for the club was that they not only kept the money, but also guaranteed the fan would return again another day and they retained his goodwill for the future. The practice spread and it later became common for American baseball fans to ‘take a rain check’ halfway through dull and boring games, whatever the weather.

  Talking Turkey means to have frank and direct discussions, which can be blunt in their delivery. Turkeys were first found in America among the native Indians. At first European settlers confused the bird with the guinea fowls (natives of Africa) they had in their home countries. Thinking the bird was from Turkey, they developed a taste for it and soon the gobbler was in high demand at the settlements and reservations. As a result all serious discussions with the native Indians soon became known as ‘talking about turkey’ and the phrase became part of the English language in America, before crossing the water to Britain. Brewer’s Dictionary offers a second suggested origin of the practice of turkey hunters attracting their prey by imitating its gobbling noises (‘talking turkey’). Apparently the birds would then return the call and reveal their whereabouts for the hunter. Take your pick.

  There Is More Than One Way To Skin A Cat is a common saying to indicate there are several ways in achieving a particular goal. Cat lovers will be relieved to know this has nothing to do with their feline friends. Instead it relates to catfish–long a popular source of food and easy to snare, but the skin is difficult to remove. I am reliably informed there are several ways to skin a catfish successfully, the best being to drop the fish into boiling water, which allows the skin to be easily peeled away from the meat.

  There Is No Such Thing As A Free Lunch means that nothing actually comes for free and, even when it seems to, there is usually a hidden cost. In the 1840s American bars and restaurants began attracting customers by offering a free lunch to anyone buying a drink. But these lunches were usually only salty snacks that, once eaten, would encourage the customer to drink more and quench his subsequent thirst. It was soon noted these drinkers were spending more than they originally intended and didn’t even benefit from a proper lunch. Such tactics still work and are the reason why so many modern pubs and bars can be found offering free bowls of salted crisps and peanuts to drinkers. John Farmer, in his book Americanisms, published in 1899, noted: ‘The free lunch fiend is one who makes a meal of what is really provided as a snack, but shamefacedly manages to get something more than his money’s worth.’

  To put in your Two-Penny’s Worth means to add an opinion, which could be regarded as almost worthless. The origin of this phrase is found in America when the US Treasury issued a two-cent coin in 1864, along with three- and 20-cent coins. They were the first US coins bearing the phrase ‘In God We Trust’. The two-cent coin, being the lowest in value, was soon used as a self-deprecating and modest way of offering an opinion and by the late 19th century ‘let me have my two cents’ worth’ was a standard preamble to offering suggestions. This was done because if an opinion was later regarded as worthless a person could claim they had warned in advance it may have had a low value. The phrase crossed the Atlantic in the early 20th century and has been in use in Britain ever since.

  To be On The Wagon means a person is no longer drinking alcohol. In the US water carts and wagons began carrying drinking water, or water for cleaning the streets, in 1900. At that time, a person who was known to have given up alcohol could often be found waiting for the water wagon to arrive so they could quench their thirst. People would flock around as the wagon arrived and reformed heavy drinkers were said to actually ride on the wagon around town so they could take on as much water as possible and help quash the craving for alcohol. Many Americans, including criminals who had blamed drink for their crimes, were encouraged to sign a pledge that they were ‘on the water wagon’, which meant they would rather drink water from the wagon than the demon whisky. The expression became widely used in America throughout the 20th century.

  14: FOOD AND DRINK

  Barmy Army is a phrase used to describe a rowdy group of people, usually sports fans who are excitable, volatile and often drunk. ‘Barm’ is the froth produced by fermenting alcohol and in English prisons inmates used to feign madness by ‘putting on the barmy stick’ (frothing at the mouth). In 1912 Fred Murray wrote and published a popular song which includes the lines ‘Ginger you’re barmy, why don’t you join the army.’ This formed part of a popular limerick during the First World War when the lines ‘you’ll get knocked out by a bottle of stout, Ginger you’re barmy’ were added. In 1994 rowdy English cricket fans, who had followed the national team to Australia for the Ashes tour, were affectionately nicknamed the ‘Barmy Army’, an obvious equivalent of Scotland’s Tartan Army of football fans.

  When somebody Brings Home The Bacon they have achieved something notable, or won a prize or award. There are two possible explanations for this phrase. The first is an ancient game, popular at country fairs up and down the land. Men would chase a heavily greased pig around a ring and whoever finally caught and held on to the pig was given it as a prize to take home. Such winners were said to have ‘taken home the bacon’. The second, and far more likely, explanation originates from a tradition known as the Dunmow Flitch Trials. Established by a noblewoman called Juga in 1104, at Great Dunmow in Essex, the trial was a challenge to all married couples in England to live for a year and a day in complete harmony, without so much as a cross word between them. The prize offered was a flitch of bacon (a whole side) but in over 500 years there were only eight winners. The tradition was re-established in 1855 and these days are held every four years, often with celebrities taking part. Claimants of the flitch are required to stand in front of a jury of 12 (six maidens and six bachelors of Great Dunmow) and prove their worthiness during a day-long family event. The winners ‘take home the bacon’. These days, it would seem, the noblewoman’s bacon is safe.

  As Drunk As A Lord is used to describe anyone in an advanced state of intoxication. During the 18th and 19th centuries heavy drinking was popular among the nobility and men of fashion prided themselves on their talent to consume vast amounts of wine. As lords and noblemen rarely worked, they would indulge themselves throughout the day and by the time a hunting party retired to nearby hostelries in the evening they would often be rolling drunk. Villagers and farm workers could rarely afford such behaviour, but when one of them did they were described as ‘drunk as a lord’.

  Eating Humble Pie is used to indicate somebody who has to admit to being wrong in public, perhaps in humiliating fashion, and is looked down upon by those once considered equal. This hierarchy was established during the medieval hunts and the subsequent banquets. During the feast the lord of the manor, and his peers, would be served the finest cuts of venison. But the entrails and offal, known at the time as ‘umbles’, would be baked into a pie and served to those of a lower standing or out of favour. It was common practice for people to be humiliated by finding themselves sat at the wrong end of the table and served ‘umble pie’.

  In David Copperfield, the Charles Dickens novel published in 1850, one of the characters, Uriah Heep, said, ‘I got to know what umbleness did and I took to it.
I ate umble pie with an appetite.’ That’s how the phrase was popularised in Britain.

  Gone For A Burton is a phrase used to indicate that somebody has had an unfortunate mishap, or that something or someone has been lost altogether. Before the Second World War, Burton’s Ales ran an advert depicting a football team with one player missing from the line-up, leaving a gap in the team photograph. The caption explained that the player had ‘Gone for a Burton’. This slogan was picked up by the RAF during the war and used as slang for a missing pilot who had crashed in action into the sea (aka the drink) and was affectionately referred to as having ‘gone for a Burton’. He would be missing from photographs in future.

  Gone To Pot is widely used to describe something that is no longer of any real use, or a person not in the fit condition they used to be in. A reference dating back to the 16th century show that cuts of meat which, in those pre-refrigerated days, were on the verge of hardening and no longer edible, would be chopped into small pieces and cooked up in a stew-pot. Therefore meat beyond its best would be described as having ‘gone to the pot’.

  The phrase Hair Of The Dog is a shortened version of ‘the hair of the dog that bit you’. Early English medical theory suggested rubbing the hair of a particular dog into the wound of its bite would cure the ill effects and heal the wound. The phrase was used in many variations until settling down as a hangover remedy. These days a few more drinks the day after a major session is said to cure the effects of a hangover and is known as ‘the hair of the dog’.

  15: HUNTING

  To Beat Around The Bush is to approach a subject indirectly without tackling the central point directly. The saying is a 300-year-old hunting phrase relating to beaters, who use sticks against a bush or undergrowth (wherever game has taken refuge) with the intention of scaring it out and into the line of the hunters’ guns. That is known as catching a quarry by ‘beating around the bush’.