by Robin Roseau
"Probably not, but that's not the point!"
"The point is, every time you have issued an order I have disobeyed, the results were better than if I had obeyed. Maybe you should stop issuing orders like that!"
Malora looked at Nori, her expression a plea for support.
"Maya, she is the queen and your warrior. When she issues an order, you need to obey, right or wrong."
"But-"
"Malora, she's not going to obey orders to leave you."
"But-" began Malora. But Nori held up a hand.
"Maya, she's not going to stop trying to protect you. Malora, she's not going to stop disobeying you when you do it. But you are the queen and her warrior. You need to show mercy because her heart is in the right place, but you need to punish her in a lasting fashion for her obstinacy. She isn't going to repent."
Nori looked back and forth between us. "Malora, you may find her somewhat less hard-headed if you aren't as heavy-handed and realize that she's not as helpless as you think she is."
I began to smile at that, but then she turned to me. "And while you have been right, you eventually are going to be wrong, and you're going to get yourself killed. Malora's judgment on your skills and the situation is better than yours."
"Her head is clouded when it comes to me."
"Yours is similarly clouded," Nori said. "We're going to go back there. Three of us are going to make promises. Four of us are going to ask for mercy. Do I make myself clear, Maya?"
I paused then nodded slowly.
"What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to go back looking very meek, and when Malora asks, I will ask for mercy. But I'm not making any promises or apologies. And Malora, this argument is not over."
"I didn't think it was," she said quietly.
"What about the companions who helped Parlomith?" I asked.
"I thought that was settled," Malora said. "There's nothing we can do."
I nodded, still angry. "I guess everything is settled." I looked at the whipping post but didn't say anything.
"Come on then," Malora said, stepping past us.
She didn't reach for me. Neither of us was ready for that, and she needed to be the queen, not a warrior seeking comfort from her companion. The rest of us followed behind as she led the way back to the bonfire.
The other Amazons were talking; we could hear them as we approached, but as soon as Malora appeared, they grew quiet. She strode to her place before the fire then said, without looking at us, "You four take your seats."
Malora waited until we were seated, pacing before the fire slowly while doing so. She paused another moment then asked, "There was a question about complaints pre-dating mine."
Beria stood up immediately. "I withdraw my complaint, Queen Malora."
"Thank you, Beria," Malora said. Beria sat back down, and Malora asked, "Maya?"
I didn't stand, but I said clearly, "I withdraw my complaints." But I wasn't happy, and I was sure everyone knew it.
"Thank you, Maya," Malora said. She strode back and forth for a moment then looked out across the Amazons. "You can imagine it was an interesting conversation."
There were a few nervous chuckles.
"That leaves the original issue. Nori, did you wish to say anything?"
Nori stood up. "Queen Malora, I apologize. Omie and Beria would not have disobeyed you if I hadn't interfered, and Maya would not have been able to. I promise, I won't do it again. I ask for your mercy."
Malora stepped over to her, studying her old companion and dearest friend. "I ask much of you, Nori, and I count on you. I shall continue to do both. Sit."
Nori sat, and Malora turned to Omie and Beria. "You two."
Omie popped to her feet, Beria only slightly behind her. "We are sorry for disobeying you," Omie said. "We won't do it again. We ask for your mercy."
Malora stepped closer. "And you, Beria? Is this going to happen again?"
"No, Queen Malora," Beria replied, not lifting her eyes, but she glanced over at me. I nodded to her. "I do not believe what you did to my sister was right, but in the future, I will follow your orders. I ask for your mercy in my sentence."
Malora frowned but said simply, "Sit, both of you."
Then she stepped to me, stopping in front of me. "And here we have the woman at the center of it all. What do you have to say for yourself, Maya?"
I stood up and stared her in the eye. "You tried to send me away. Again. And this time, you did it in a fashion guaranteed to anger me, not giving me a chance to voice protest. You did it at a time you needed me. You did it in a fashion that endangered yourself because you were afraid what would happen if you died. If you had died, I wouldn't have been there to hold you."
I felt the tears begin to crawl down my cheeks.
"I wouldn't have been able to kiss you one more time. I would have learned you were dead only when Nori or Vorine or whoever was still alive afterwards came to tell me, but that would haven't been for weeks, while my sister and her warrior dragged me, kicking and screaming, to the far side of Morehama. I would have spent weeks not knowing if you lived."
The tears were in full swing now.
"You were wrong, Queen Malora. My place is at your side, now and always. It is wrong to send me away. It is wrong to disobey my queen and my warrior. I do not know which of these is more wrong, but I will always stand by your side."
I looked down, scrubbing the tears away. "I know you must punish me. I have left you between the sharks and the pounding surf. I hope you are able to show mercy."
Malora stood there, staring at me, then she reached out and lifted my face by the chin. She offered a smile. I tried to return it, but I was filled with sorrow, realizing how closely I had come to losing her, and with dread, wondering how severely she would need to punish me after my speech.
She brushed my lips with her thumb then leaned forward and kissed my tears away. "Have heart, Maya," she whispered to me. "Sit," she said louder.
Then she stepped away, prowling back and forth for a moment.
"This is what makes Maya such an amazing companion," she said softly. "So much passion. It is ironic that her most vexing quality is at the same time her most endearing."
She came to a stop, looking out over all of us. "Amazon laws are clear. The queen must be obeyed. Anything else leads to anarchy, which we cannot allow. Amazon laws are also clear on the punishment for an offense of this nature. However, I am queen, and while it would be too much to pardon these four, it is within my power to show mercy." She smiled. "Perhaps a little less mercy for the one who refuses to fully accept my authority."
Malora prowled back and forth again. "You shall all share a common punishment, but then I am afraid my disobedient companion has an additional punishment." She looked around for a moment and sighed. "Serra, are you ready?"
"Yes, Queen Malora."
"Then proceed. I believe it will take the longest to prepare my companion."
"Beria will take as long," Serra said, "but I have recruited assistance."
I was confused. She'd already had a prepared punishment? And I had a pretty good idea what it was. Then what had everything we had just talked about been for?
The companions of Queen's Town, excepting Beria and me, stepped forward, carrying small benches. They set them in front of the fireplace, then Serra ordered the four of us to move to them, our backs to the fire.
"All of you will close your eyes," Malora ordered. "Keep them closed."
I knew immediately what was happening, although Beria probably did not. I remembered the scent of the magic oils Serra had used three years ago to strip the black from my hair.
I heard the titters as everyone realized what was happening. I heard Nori's name mentioned a few times, although pink hair for her would be far less drastic than it was for me, as her hair was so short. Still, I thought it might bother her more than it bothered me.
"Queen Malora," I said, "three of the four of us have already guessed this punishment
."
"Then it shall remain a surprise to the fourth," Malora replied.
I wasn't sure whom it was that worked on my hair. I thought perhaps it was Jasmine, but she didn't speak, and I didn't ask.
They stripped the color, and then Malora said, "You may open your eyes for a moment."
We all opened our eyes and looked at each other. Beria looked shockingly different in sandy hair instead of black, and she stared equally at me. Then she pulled at some of her own hair so she could see it.
"Most of you know what is happening," Malora said, "so there is little point in asking you to close your eyes again. We will begin with my companion."
Serra did it herself, tipping me over backwards to dip my hair into the dye and working it in. After a few minutes, she set me back up with a towel over my shoulders. Beria stared at me.
"It's pink," she whispered.
"I've gotten better," Serra said. "We're going to let that set before we rinse it out. It will last longer."
She did Omie next, then a grim-looking but stoic Nori, saving Beria for last. Beria was a little upset, but she clutched Omie's hand and said nothing, accepting the treatment.
Then Serra went around, rinsing our hair out and drying it. Bea stepped forward and brushed my hair.
"I do not care for the ponytails," Malora said. "Please pull it out of the way for now." So Bea arranged my hair in a bun on the top of my head."
Omie and Beria's hair got brushed out to hang about their shoulders, a shocking amount of pink.
We got some chuckles. I think most of it was directed at Nori.
"Your hair will remain pink for one month," Malora announced. "Serra will refresh this as often as she deems necessary. This is my judgment for the three of you." She pointed to Nori, Omie, and Beria.
"Yes, Queen Malora," Nori said.
"After your month is over, you may allow it to fade naturally or ask Serra to help return it to its natural color. Go sit down." She moved in front of me. "You defied me and you have convinced me you will continue to do so. When I give an order to you, I expect you to follow it!"
"Then stop giving me the one order you know I won't follow," I replied. "Stop sending me away, and I will otherwise always obey you."
She lips tightened. I knew I was taunting her, but I couldn't help it.
"Strip her," Malora ordered.
Several companions stepped forward and carefully removed my clothing until I stood naked in front of all of them. It had been years since nudity amongst the Amazons had bothered me, and while the night air carried a chill, the fire at my back was warming.
"Bind her," she ordered. Ralla and Balorie tied my hands and legs together. I was getting tired of that, but I stood complacently while they did it. Then Ralla wrapped a blindfold around my eyes. I was getting tired of that, too. They turned me in a circle several times, perhaps an attempt to disorient me, but the heat of the fire served as a compass.
I cocked my head listening to Malora walk around, her boots thudding into the ground. She rarely made such noise when she walked. I wondered if it was for my benefit. Finally she returned to stand in front of me.
"Maya," she said, "Your actions endangered your life."
"My actions were necessary," I replied. "An Amazon endangers her life every day. Why should I be immune?"
"Because you were ordered to do so!" Malora said, and by her tone, I knew she was angry and frustrated with me.
"Well, frankly, you were wrong. You needed my comfort, and all the Amazons needed my words, and everyone here knows it. Malora you're not going to win a battle of words with me, so you may as well haul me to the whipping post and get this over with."
I regretted my words immediately. Malora was attempting to heal the rift, and I kept tearing it apart. I heard people shifting in their seats and a few hushed whispers and equally hushed orders to be quiet. But I couldn't let it go.
"You yourself admitted you were wrong, Queen Malora. I know by Amazon law, even when the queen is wrong, we must obey, but I won't do it. Get this over with, Malora."
"Whenever did I admit I was wrong, Maya?"
"When you gagged me before I knew what you were planning. If you didn't know it was wrong, you wouldn't have worried I could talk you out of it."
There were a few titters, but no one said anything. I'd left Malora in silence as well. I wished I wasn't blindfolded so I could more readily judge her reaction.
I stood waiting, my head cocked.
"You are an infuriating woman," Malora finally said.
"Some things never change," I said. "You needed me but sent me away. I defied you and returned. I was right to do so, and the results speak for themselves. But I defied you, and now you need to whip me for it. Please, Malora, can we get it over with?"
"You asked for mercy, Maya. Don't you want to receive it?"
"I-" I closed my mouth. Even blindfolded, I lowered my head. "Please don't whip me, Malora."
"Maya, I have no intention of whipping you. I never did," she said. "I do not believe you would learn anything except fear, which I have no intention of teaching you. I have something else in mind. Bring her."
It felt like it was probably Ralla and Balorie who picked me up. They carried me through the village, although I wasn't sure where, the other Amazons following along behind. When we came to a stop, Malora spoke again. "This will be familiar to you, Maya. Put her in." I felt myself lowered...
Into cold water.
"Oh you have got to be kidding," I said.
"Silence!" Malora said loudly. "Do it," she ordered.
Hands pushed me down. They dunked me into the barrel of water, holding me under for a long time, finally letting me up.
"That's fine," Malora said. "Take her out and clean her up."
I was pulled out of the barrel, sluiced off with more water, then dried. As soon as they saw me, the assembled Amazons began laughing. I was already expecting it. Even Ralla laughed while she held me upright, and I heard Nori chuckling.
I felt Malora step close, examining me. "Very good," she said. She stepped away. "Let her see."
Ralla pulled my blindfold away. I looked down, and I was bright purple.
"Does it go with my hair?"
"It clashes horribly," Malora said. I looked at her, expecting to see an expression of amusement, but she was still frowning.
I smiled at her, then my legs went weak with relief. Balorie and Ralla barely caught me.
"Oh set her down and finish untying her, then let her get dressed," Malora said. She didn't sound happy. "You will remain this color for a year, or until I grow tired of it. You will be dyed as needed to keep the color fresh, both your hair and your body. Furthermore, when you are asked, you will tell why you are this color with no embellishments or any of your fiendish misdirection. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, Queen Malora."
* * * *
Later in our hut, Malora was subdued. She wouldn't look at me, wasn't at all playful, and when she climbed into bed, she turned her back on me. I sat on my edge of the bed, one leg tucked under me, the other still on the floor.
"This was mercy?" I asked her.
"So we're going to fight about your punishment, too?"
"Are you really going to keep me this color for a year?"
"If your attitude doesn't change, I am."
"I see." I sat there on the edge of the bed, entirely unsure what to do. "So I was supposed to go away? I was supposed to go away and not know whether you were alive or dead. Is that it?"
"Yes."
"Fine."
I got off the bed and moved to my storage chest. I pulled out a small pack and began packing my clothes.
"It's late. What are you doing?"
"Packing."
The bed creaked, and then Malora stood over me. She reached down and pulled me to my feet, her hands clasping my arms. In the dim light, we stared at each other.
"Why?"
"You don't want me here. So I'm leaving."
&
nbsp; "I didn't say that, and you know it!"
"You don't want me, Malora; you want an obedient little doll who doesn't think for herself, who obeys you without question. And now you're trying to shame me into being what you want instead of accepting who I am. I should have asked you to whip me instead."
"Damn it, Maya!" she said, shaking me a little. "You're completely wrong!"
"Am I? The pink hair is cute. But while I told Loren and Meena I forgave them, I also told them not to do it again. So you did it instead? Why is that? What are you hoping to accomplish?"
"Why can't you behave?"
"Because I'm not an obedient little doll. If that's what you want, find someone else."
I pulled away from her and returned to packing. Malora stood over me. Neither of us said a word, but I grew increasingly angry. I finally stopped packing, dropped it all back into the chest, and went digging for the clothes I had arrived in. They were badly worn and thin, but they were mine. I pulled them out, then stood up and began stripping out of my Amazon clothes. I dropped them into the chest and pulled on my old clothes. I stared at my shoes; I didn't want to travel so far in these shoes, so I pulled on my Amazon boots.
The entire time, neither of us said a word, both of us angry.
I stepped past Malora and grabbed my fiddle from its hook on the wall. I had to step past her again on my way out the door.
"I don't release you from Amazon service," she said quietly.
I stopped but didn't turn around. "I agreed to be your companion for two years," I said. "It has been over three. I have done more than my share of duty to Morehama. But I am sure you can physically stop me if that's what you choose to do."
She let out a sob as I reached the door.
"Please don't leave me, Maya!"
I stopped at the door and said quietly, "I don't know what else to do, Malora."
She rushed over to me, grabbing me by the arm. "Please. We'll talk. You can fight with words. Please don't leave me."
I let her turn me to face her, but I refused to actually look at her.
"You're trying to shame the spirit out of me, Malora," I said quietly.
"I'm not!"
"You are. You're trying to shame me so I'll obey you. If I were a teenage companion, you could treat me that way, but I'm not. I didn't come to you as a teenager and I'm certainly not a teenager now."
