Shelter Me (Sawtooth Shifters, #6)

by Kristen Strassel

  Lyssie’s mouth opened, she rubbed those luscious lips together before speaking. Chandra could give me all the dirt flavored drinks she wanted, but my body craved the woman standing in front of me. The one in last night’s clothes who questioned every move she made. And I had answers for her. Problem was I didn’t know if they were the ones she wanted.

  “Can it be with anyone?” Lyssie asked, her gaze darting down. “Or does it have to be with the wolf that bit him?”

  Chandra frowned, snapping her bag closed. “Technically, it should be with his mate. I’ve never heard of a wolf being so reckless with a bite before. It’s a sacred ritual. Wolves mate for love, not spite. It’s meant to change someone’s life, but not like this. So if he’s in love with somebody other than the one who gave him the bite, it might work. I can’t guarantee anything. I only deal with the science part. My advice? Do what you need to do, Dallas. Good luck, and call me if you need me.”

  Chapter Five

  Lyssie

  “I need your help,” I said to Kiera when we got to the shelter. She’d spent the night with Baron, and Dallas had insisted she not come get me until Chandra left.

  The sickness was scary, the prognosis even more terrifying, but the way he wanted to hide it made my stomach churn.

  Kiera’s face lit up over her coffee mug. “How’d last night go? I stayed with Baron because I wanted the two of you to have some alone time. The way the two of you were dancing—“ she fanned herself, “—so flipping hot. I picked up a couple new moves watching you and Baron’s totally going to buy your next beer as a thank you.”

  I laughed. “Good to know. Um, things didn’t go as I expected.”

  Kiera put down her coffee and picked up the dog that had his paws on her belly. She squinted as he covered her face in kisses. “Lyssie, I’m saying this as your best friend. You’re way overthinking things. Take your clothes off and let Dallas ravish you like the animal he is. Next time he comes over, answer the door naked. I’ll stay in my room. Don’t worry about what you don’t know. Your body’s smarter than you give it credit for. Just enjoy the ride and stop fucking thinking for once.”

  “That’s exactly it. Did you see that girl come up to us right after the ball dropped last night?”

  Kiera shook her head. The whole thing felt crazy, and I really wanted one witness.

  “She’s one of the Montana wolves. She bit him, trying to mark her territory. So when I left with Dallas, we were actually fighting. We kind of smoothed things out, but Dallas passed out hard when he came back to our place. Moaning and talking in his sleep, he had a ridiculously high fever. Blamed the bite. I called Chandra even though he begged me not to. I think he’s embarrassed that this chick bit him, or he’s got something to hide. Whatever. My point is, Full Moon Fever is a real thing, he has it, and the only thing that will cure it is him screwing his mate’s brains out.”

  “Oh.” Kiera’s mouth kept the shape of the sound as she eased the dog back down to the floor. “He’ll stay sick until he sleeps with the she-wolf?”

  “Until he has sex with his mate. Chandra stressed that wolves mate for love. Me and Dallas have been weird, but we’ve got something. We promised each other we’d stop wasting time. I still need to tell him everything...but none of that matters right now. If he’s not cured, he’ll go feral. Lose his humanity. I’ve got to give his wolf the best sex of his life or little Miss Montana staking her claim will be the least of our problems.”

  The smile returned to Kiera’s face. “We’ve totally got this. You know how much I hate to lose. And I want to see you happy. But I need you to do some research, because what works for me isn’t necessarily going to work for you. You might not want to know this, but I’m the dominant in our—“

  I put my hand up. “You’re right. Too much information.” Kiera and Trina talked about sex all day long at the shelter, but listening to them made my skin crawl. Maybe it was with jealousy that I couldn’t join in, or that the thought of it made my cheeks burn.

  Yup. You heard it here first. Lyssie Bradley was a twenty-seven-year-old virgin. It was the opposite of all those rock stars that died at twenty-seven; I had yet to live. I had a perfectly good excuse for it that I’d rather take to my grave than say out loud, but that was no longer an option. I had to rip everything open and let it all hang out.

  Kiera sat beside me on the couch, bumping my leg. “That’s the first thing. You’ve got to get comfortable talking about this stuff, because you have to be able to tell Dallas what you want. And ask him what he needs. Which leads me back to my point. It doesn’t have anything to do with your bodies—sex is a mind game. Let him think he’s in control, that he’s claiming you. In reality, you’ll be in the driver’s seat the whole time. The only way you’ll lose him is if you fuck this up. I know that’s harsh, but it’s true. I can’t sugar coat things.”

  “I know. That’s why I asked you.” I sighed. No better time to talk about all the things that scared me than now. “I’ve been having trouble lately. I’ve been...feeling like I did when I first got to CAST. I didn’t want to say anything, because everyone else around me is so happy, and there’s a little voice in my head that laughs at me, telling me I don’t deserve that. Now that just turned into a big voice, with bright red hair and a giant rack. And honestly, I don’t know if I can beat her.”

  Kiera hugged me. At first it was weird because we were both card-carrying members of the No Hugging Club, but it was exactly what I needed. “Don’t give her a chance,” she said against my cheek, then pulled away. “I know this violates the cardinal rule of Forever Home, but what the hell happened to you? If you show me yours, I’ll show you mine.”

  She chewed on her lip, just as nervous as I was. We made a pact when we came to Granger Falls, all of us strangers, connected by our grief and the hope that a bunch of unwanted animals could help put us back together again. We never talked about what got us there. No looking back. We couldn’t change the past. The present was what we had control over.

  Trying to form the words, I was brought back to that day. Pain balled in my chest like a giant fist around my heart, squeezing it. In my mind’s eye, I watched the car pull away, always as vivid as the first time it happened. “My mother left me in a Walmart parking lot. She’d just got her check. I only remember it because we ran out of everything at the end of the month, and I’d be so hungry before we did our big shopping. She let me pick out one thing I really wanted, and I chose those sugar cookies with the frosting on top. I gag just thinking of them now. She loaded up the car, buckled my little brother in, and said she didn’t have any room for me. They actually waved at me as they drove away, and me, being the naïve little ten-year-old that I was, waved back. I didn’t get what was happening.”

  “I don’t get it now.” Kiera’s eyes glassed over. “How the fuck could someone do that to their kid? I’m so sorry.”

  “I waited for them to come back all night. One of the employees that rounded up the carts noticed I’d been out there for hours. Once the cops came, and the social workers, they brought me to live with my grandmother. I didn’t really know her before that, because she didn’t get along with my mom, and she saw me as her second chance. I thought it was my fault, that I’d been left there. My brother was with us too, but he considered me the reason we didn’t live with Mom anymore, and he made my life miserable. He left when he was sixteen, and I haven’t seen him since. Gram and I clung to each other. She didn’t like to leave the house, and that was fine with me. I didn’t like going anywhere, because I’d freak out if my Gram was out of my sight. When she died...I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t call anyone, because I thought I’d be in trouble. I knew they’d take me away. Or I’d be left behind with nothing again, because I was twenty-two and had no idea how to take care of myself. Her visiting nurse found us.”

  “And that’s why you hate to be alone,” Kiera said.

  I nodded. “At CAST they told me I had agoraphobia. I panic anytime I’m in an unfamiliar si
tuation.” The first couple of days in Granger Falls had been sheer hell. Left in the middle of nowhere with complete strangers. Luckily, Kiera needed someone as badly as I did, and even though we’d lived together for almost a year and this was the first time I told her my story, she’d always known what I needed.

  “Is that why you’re afraid of having more with Dallas? You’re worried he’s going to leave you?”

  “Exactly. Everyone I love leaves me.”

  Kiera squeezed my hand. “I’ll never leave you, I promise. We may not always live together, but that doesn’t mean I’m not here for you. Wherever I am. As far as Dallas is concerned, remember, wolves mate for life. You hook him, he’s yours. You couldn’t ask for a more perfect boyfriend.” She smiled, but couldn’t hold it for long. “Okay, my turn. When I was in Iraq I, ah, got in an argument with a bomb and lost.” She lifted her sweatshirt and showed me the price she paid.

  Chapter Six

  Dallas

  “How much did you drink last night? You look like shit.” Baron laughed at me as I stumbled into Shadow’s office. In Sawtooth Forest, we didn’t take holidays off. Trina needed help with her ever-growing shelter, which had now expanded to a livestock rescue on the newly renamed Channing Reserve. When it was Ryker’s farm, it had served as our jail, but Trina, Kiera, and Lyssie saved us from that Hell. Shadow killed Ryker the first chance he got. I’d followed him. My oldest brother had always been my hero, and there was nothing I wouldn’t do for him.

  The land looked different now. We’d buried all the demons we could, burning and bulldozing most of the farm once we claimed the land. We wanted to make this a place full of hope and promise for our packs, and we were already being forced to defend it.

  “Two beers. I’m fine,” I grimaced, collapsing into a chair in front of the desk. I should’ve stayed at Lyssie’s, but my wolf was rumbling so fiercely I was afraid what would happen when she came back. The concoction Chandra gave me worked for a little while. I wasn’t nauseous anymore, but now I had an overwhelming need to claim what was mine. My mouth watered in that sickening way with a craving for something soft and sweet. Preferably with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a blush creeping over her cheeks.

  “You should’ve gone to Mom’s if you’re sick.” Shadow stood over me, judgment all over his face. “We know Lyssie called Chandra for you. Doesn’t sound like a hangover to me.”

  Oh hell no. My mother would know exactly what happened the minute she laid eyes on me. But apparently, so did my brothers. “Fine. I got bit by one of the Montana she-wolves.”

  “Fuck!” Shadow slammed his hand down on the desk. “That’s why we were at The Stepchild. To make sure that didn’t happen. I brought Trina into Red Heaven, to keep an eye on those girls. Every one of our wolves was warned to stay away from them.”

  Baron laughed. “Right. That’s exactly why you brought Trina to Red Heaven. How’d that go?”

  “Amazing.” The corners of Shadow’s mouth twitched, but he fought the smile. “That’s beside the point. They got their foothold. It’s you. And if you reject your mate, it’s going to cause a war.”

  The nausea was back. “That’s not what Chandra said. She said as long as I chose a mate and took care of business, it would go away.” I left out the more dire parts of the prognosis. Ember didn’t have that kind of power over me, I refused to give it to her. Shadow had already lost one brother. He wouldn’t lose another.

  “The sickness might go away, but you’ve been claimed, brother. If you’re involved with another woman, you’re insulting her entire pack. Imagine how you’d feel, if it were the other way around.”

  The room spun. “I can’t, because we never had mates. Every woman in the world is off-limits, remember? Although, the more I think about it, I can imagine how I’d feel—I’ve wanted Lyssie, but I’ve stayed away because unlike the two of you idiots, I knew it was a disaster. Now it’s worse. I don’t know this she-wolf. We have no bond. That’s the thing, right? We mate for love. The wound will heal, and the whole ridiculous thing will fade back to the nothing it should be. We won’t let this change the course of our pack. ”

  Shadow shook his head. “Fuck no. But she tasted your blood, her life flows through your veins now. It’s not that simple.”

  I ran my hand hard over my face. My brother knew what I wasn’t telling him. “Chandra said it was curable.”

  “Who the fuck is Chandra, anyway?” Baron sat on the desk, putting a level of separation between me and Shadow. Of all of us, Baron was the one who’d remained true to tradition. He’d do anything to keep peace. “She showed up out of nowhere—what does she know about our packs? Where do her loyalties lie? Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled we’ve got someone here that understands werewolf medicine, or whatever voodoo spell she’s got going on. You might like what she has to say, but Shadow’s been here his whole life, and he’s our alpha. He’s not blowing smoke up your ass. He’s telling you the thing you don’t want to hear so you can fucking deal with it.”

  My gaze locked with Shadow’s. All my life I’d looked up to my brother. I fought with him and for him. I would’ve done anything to make him our alpha, and now that he was, I questioned every decision he made. He’d changed, paying the highest price for our freedom—murder. Still, I would’ve followed him blindly into battle. As wolves, that’s what we did. Until now.

  “She’s not my mate. I won’t live a lie.” I’d never wanted my brother to be wrong before. “And Lyssie—“

  “Lyssie’s what got you into this mess in the first place. Those wolves didn’t come in here blind. They watched us. I didn’t get bit, neither did Baron. Because we committed. That’s what having a mate means. The good and the bad. Not just when it’s convenient.”

  Lyssie’s voice echoed in my brain, like a wind chime banging against the wall in the storm. Every person I’ve ever trusted has left me. I can’t trust you. I know how this ends. My own voice thundered in response: Let’s write a new story. It’s what we had to do. Smash the rules to pieces, and make them apply to us. I rubbed the sweat from my brow. I’d probably lost my mind; the first step in the sickness, the inability to tell reality from fever dreams. I wouldn’t break that promise to her. We’d both had our doubts about each other, but we kept coming back because we needed more. Something about us made sense.

  Her touch cooled me. It had to mean something.

  “You taught me being in this pack meant being loyal to those who fought for you. If it wasn’t for Lyssie, I’d be dead. And you know what? Fuck tradition. Where was tradition when our true mates were sold off? Nowhere. We were left to take care of ourselves. And that’s what I’m going to do.”

  Shadow leaned back in his chair. “You’ll start a war.”

  “You don’t want those wolves here. If I turn my back on Lyssie, I may as well turn my back on you. Yeah, we’ll have to fight, what else is new? You know one thing, Shadow. I have your back. No matter what. Do you have mine?”

  “Of course,” he said without any hesitation.

  I needed to get back to Lyssie. Not only because we needed to fix whatever was broken between us, we need to fix whatever had been broken in Sawtooth Forest.

  It was time to write a new story.

  Chapter Seven

  Lyssie

  After Kiera shared her story, I knew my best friend was invincible. If she could survive a bomb blast and still start every day with a smile on her face, after her coffee of course, I could overcome anything. Right now, my anything could be easily defined as my fear of being left behind, letting Dallas Channing see the part of me I hadn’t shown anyone, and a bloodthirsty, redheaded bitch from Montana.

  Dallas called, asking to see me, and the only answer was yes. I shut down the voice in my brain that said we were doing this for all the wrong reasons. The problem wasn’t when Dallas and I were together. That was usually pretty great. Even if we fought, just seeing him set off a swirl of butterflies in my belly. I loved butterflies because they started off as somet
hing ugly and emerged from their cocoon as some of the most beautiful creatures on Earth. If I could shift into another animal, I’d choose to be a butterfly.

  He looked haggard and gray when Baron dropped him off. Sick as a dog, pun intended. “I’m gonna make you some of that tea,” I said, nerves creeping back in.

  “Remember what I told you. Be his naughty nurse.” Kiera winked and squeezed my arm before she ran out the door to meet Baron.

  “Maybe later.” Dallas ran the back of his fingers over my cheek and sighed before wrapping his arms around me. I leaned back against the counter. Dallas wasn’t the only one shaking. “You’re the only thing that cools me down.”

  All the weirdness melted away when we kissed. Tonight Dallas was pure liquid heat. This was the only time I could relax, when he was around. His kisses made me stronger.

  “Should I be worried?” I asked, pulling away just enough to catch my breath. He wouldn’t be able to see my smirk. “Are you contagious?”

  Dallas laughed. “I wish. That would solve all our problems. We’d be bound to each other, and you’d be my mate.”

  Thank God I was leaning against the counter. It was contagious; he had me hot and dizzy. I ducked under his arm, making a clean break before I passed out. “I have another idea.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I’m going to run you a bath.” I didn’t wait for his answer. I headed to the bathroom and turned on the faucet. It was stupid. I either sounded like a little old lady, or like I was treating him like a toddler. I was more Nurse Rached than naughty nurse.

  “That sounds awesome.” Dallas came up behind me and stripped away his shirt as I turned to him. The muscles of his broad shoulders rippled down to a narrow waist. Tonight everything was coated in a sheen of sweat. It shouldn’t have been sexy, but damn, it was. His jeans hung low on his hips, and I couldn’t stop staring at the bones that slanted above them, and the trail of hair that started at his belly button and disappeared into the unknown.