Tending Tara (Alaska Blizzard Book 8)

by Kat Mizera

  “Because?”

  “I was thinking we could get check-ups and then stop using condoms.”

  “Yes. Absolutely. I’m in.”

  She was startled at his enthusiastic response. “Donovan, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me, but with you gone for two weeks it occurred to me we never discussed monogamy and I got a little…unsure of where we stand.”

  “We’re married. Whether we’ve announced it publicly or not, there’s a legal document binding us together. Regardless of the reasons we chose to do it, it’s a commitment. Unless and until something changes between us that we both agree on, we’re a couple, Tara.”

  “Okay.” She mentally let out a long breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

  “You okay, honey?”

  “It’s a lot,” she whispered. “We’re married but we’re not. We’re involved but we’re not in love. We’re living together but the depth of our relationship is a secret. Technically, marrying for a visa is illegal so we’re committing a crime. I think—”

  “Whoa, hey, hang on.” He spoke gently, the deep timbre of his voice soothing her. “That’s a lot of deep thinking for my first day gone.”

  “I’m sorry. I should have waited until you got back but I needed to know.”

  “No, it’s okay. I should have thought to bring up the monogamy thing because you’re right—the sex is very real. Living together is real. I’m not dating other women, and I’m definitely not sleeping with other women. Not unless you decide to cut me off.”

  She chuckled. “Not a chance.”

  “Anything else bothering you?”

  “No. I really am sorry to have just thrown this at you on your first day gone.”

  “It’s fine. Really. We need to talk about things.”

  “Well, it’s late there… I should let you rest.”

  “What happened to video sex?”

  She paused. “Is that on the table?”

  “Baby, sex of all kinds is always on the table.”

  “Then perhaps I should undress…”

  21

  The road trip felt longer than usual. He’d never really minded the long trips since moving to Alaska because he’d never had a beautiful redhead waiting at home for him before, but now she was all he thought about when he wasn’t on the ice. Their late-night phone sex sessions had become epic, getting dirtier and more fun with each one, but he ached to touch her. Their conversation about monogamy had caught him by surprise, but it was good that she’d brought it up because he probably would have lost his mind if she’d started dating other men.

  It wasn’t logical, but it all boiled down to one simple fact: she was his. That’s all there was to it. Whether it was for a year or two or forever, right now that was all that mattered to him. He’d learned the hard way not to take anything for granted so he intended to enjoy Tara as long as he had her. He might be gearing up for a broken heart, but there was also a chance things would work out between them.

  “Donovan.” Coach Caldwell motioned to him in the locker room. “I’m putting Vik in tonight—you need a rest.”

  “Coach, I’m on a winning streak!” he protested.

  “Absolutely, but you haven’t had a night off since Aaron was hurt, so it’s time. Don’t worry, you’ll be back in tomorrow.”

  Donovan watched her go and felt familiar frustration seeping in even though it wasn’t warranted this time. He did need a rest, but he was full of nervous energy and didn’t want to do anything to mess up the streak he’d been on. Sometimes a day off wasn’t what he needed, though he didn’t have any choice since Coach made these decisions.

  He changed into his gear absently, his thoughts drifting back to Tara since he didn’t need as much focus to sit on the bench. There was always a chance he’d be put in, but he didn’t have to worry about that until the game started. For now, he thought back to last night’s phone sex session. Tara had been in the tub, her fiery locks up in a messy bun thing and no makeup except bright red lipstick. She’d brought a cucumber with her and slowly ate it while he watched, his cock getting harder with each passing second.

  Later, she told him she’d chosen the cucumber because bananas were smaller than he was, and the cucumber felt more accurate. He’d almost shot his load right then and there. Since then, all he’d been able to think about was having her lips around him, and she’d promised to do just that—wearing the red lipstick—once he was home. Which was still six long days away.

  “Night off for you, eh?” Miikka asked, sinking down beside him on the bench as they got ready to head out to the ice.

  “Looking that way.”

  “It’s okay. It’s good to rest the body—and mind.”

  “Not when I’m on the road. Rest is good at home, but on the road I like to stay sharp.”

  “Understandable.” Miikka glanced around, as if making sure no one was too close or paying attention, and then asked, “How’s Tara? Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, we’re good. She’s been volunteering with the team at Tudor College and helping Hailey and Gage with the kids, so it sounds like she’s been busy.”

  “Tara is always busy,” he said fondly. “In Finland, she was never home, always out doing something. Babysitting, hockey, school, friends. It’s never good when Tara has nothing to do.”

  “Same with me,” Donovan laughed. “I don’t like sitting around.”

  “Well, for one night, I think it will be okay.” Miikka got up as the team started to head out for the warm-up.

  Viktor wasn’t on his game at all that night, and Donovan itched to get out there. The Blizzard was down 2-0 halfway through the second period, and he hated that their winning streak was going to end because Coach felt Donovan needed a break. When the other team made it 3-0, he glanced at Coach Caldwell. Her jaw was working in irritation and she tapped her foot. She was obviously weighing her options. It wouldn’t be good for a young guy like Viktor to get pulled in the second period after only letting in three goals—that happened to the best of them—but at the same time, they were on a ten-game winning streak which was a record for the team.

  “Legori.” Coach Caldwell met his gaze. “Get loose.”

  Shit. He reached back for his mask and pulled it on. Once play stopped, he’d have about ten seconds to get his head in the game. He got up and went into the tunnel to stretch out a little, but he heard the ref’s whistle, telling him he had to go. He grabbed one of his sticks and walked to the ice.

  Viktor was just coming off and Donovan patted him on the shoulder as he brushed past him.

  The moment he was on the ice, everything else melted away and he found his focus. Hockey had been his saving grace through his divorce and even now that his personal life was going well, it kept him grounded on long trips like this when he missed home. Life as a professional athlete, especially being based in Alaska, was hard. He loved almost everything about it, but it was those sixty minutes during a game that made the struggles worthwhile. Knowing he had someone waiting at home helped, too. He didn’t like being single, as much as it pained him to admit it, and now that he had someone in his life again, it felt like he could put all his extra energy into hockey.

  It worked out well on nights like tonight, because he stopped every shot the rest of the game, allowing the team to tie it up and take it to overtime, where Kane got the winning goal and the Blizzard extended their winning streak to eleven. A loss was bound to happen in a season of eighty-two games, but not tonight, and not on Donovan’s watch.

  “Fuckin’ A, man, you’re on fire,” Logan told him as they filed back to the locker room. “Tara must be your good luck charm.”

  “I don’t know about that,” Donovan said, laughing, “but if that’s what it is, I’ll take it.”

  “I might consider getting serious with someone if it made me play as well as you’ve been playing.”

  “You won’t know until you try,” Donovan said.

  “Women are more trouble than they’re wort
h,” Logan said. “I don’t have the patience for the drama.”

  “Not all women come with drama,” Donovan protested.

  “Like your ex-wife?”

  “That’s why she’s my ex-wife.”

  “So there’s no drama with Tara?” he asked. “Because, I mean, let’s face it—I know what’s up.”

  Donovan frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  “She asked me to marry her, and then suddenly she’s living with you and she told me she’s good. I’m guessing there’s more to that story.” His eyes were guileless, and Donovan didn’t see any hint of malice, but the turn the conversation had taken irritated him anyway.

  “She changed her mind about marrying you because things got serious between us,” Donovan said quietly. “That’s why she moved in. That’s all there is to it.”

  “And the visa situation?”

  “It’s handled.” Donovan met his gaze directly.

  “Whatever you say, man.” Logan chuckled. “I’m not trying to be a dick. You’re both my friends so I’ll let it go, but it’s pretty obvious what’s up with you guys. I just don’t understand why you’re keeping it on the down low. Are you ashamed of her or something?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Donovan said evenly. “Of course, I’m not ashamed of her—she’s living with me, isn’t she? I’m gonna hit the showers.” He turned and headed in that direction even though he probably should have stuck around to talk to the press. He was distracted, though, because if Logan had guessed they were married, it wouldn’t be long before everyone else did, too. And while he absolutely wasn’t ashamed of Tara, he couldn’t help but wonder if she was somehow ashamed of him. Why did she want to keep the marriage a secret? Was she actually trying to protect him, the way Miikka had said, or was she keeping her options open?

  That didn’t even make sense, but a wave of insecurity washed over him because he’d already lived through a relationship that was negatively impacted by his career. What would Tara do if he was traded? He didn’t think she’d want to leave her brother, the friends she’d made, or the new job she was trying to get. Was keeping the marriage a secret her way of letting him know this was truly nothing but a marriage of convenience—good for both of them as long as it was convenient?

  Shit. He needed to get Logan out of his head and stay focused on the game. They had an eleven-game winning streak to keep up and that was all that mattered. Once he got back to Anchorage, he’d worry about Tara.

  They lost the next game, but Donovan had played his ass off, not letting in any goals in regulation or overtime, but losing one in the shootout. It was nothing to be ashamed of, and the team still got a point towards the standings, but he hated seeing the end of the team’s longest-ever winning streak. He complained about it afterward on the phone to Tara.

  “But you couldn’t win forever,” she pointed out. “And you played incredibly well. Losing in the shootout is nothing to be upset about.”

  “I know. I’ve just been working my ass off to prove to Coach that I could be a starter.”

  “I think she already knows that. It’s a matter of time until Aaron either retires or starts to slow down. I don’t think you have to worry about that.”

  “Yeah, but how long? Guys are playing longer and longer, so he could have another five years in him, and honestly, I don’t want to be the back-up for five more years.”

  “I don’t think you will be. Especially not after how you’ve been playing. Laurel recognizes your talent.”

  “I hope so.”

  “I’m sorry you’re frustrated,” she said softly. “If it makes you feel any better, Matthew puked all over me today twice. I think he has a stomach bug. So I’ve showered and changed clothes three times.”

  “I don’t know if it makes me feel any better,” he said, chuckling, “especially since he doesn’t feel well, but I am glad that no one has puked on me today.”

  They laughed together and he forgot all about his earlier concerns about keeping their marriage a secret. Maybe she had a point because there was going to be all kinds of hell to pay if his mother found out. He’d chickened out at Thanksgiving and hadn’t even told his parents that Tara had moved in because he knew he’d get the third degree and hadn’t had the time or energy to deal with it. They were coming for Christmas, though, which meant he needed to give them a head’s-up soon.

  “When I get back,” he said. “We’ll have to talk about the logistics of the holidays since both of our parents are coming.”

  “Yes, my parents and Leon arrive on the twenty-first and will stay until the second.”

  “I don’t know when my parents are coming,” he said, “but I’m going to find out in the next couple of days. They usually stay with me. Is that okay?”

  “Of course,” Tara said. “They’re your parents! Leon only wants to be with Miikka, so the three of them will be at his house, but I’ll probably spend a lot of time there as well. What do your parents usually do when they come for Christmas?”

  “They come to the games, of course, but I usually take them out and stuff so no one has to cook or clean. Last year, my mom cooked and made it feel like the holidays since it was my first holidays without Jane. We were in the middle of the divorce and the holidays felt pretty bleak, so my mom tried to cheer me up.”

  “And this year? What will we do? I don’t think we’ll have a choice but to plan group events with both families.”

  “Yeah.” He hesitated. “Let me talk to my mom. I, uh, haven’t told her about us yet. I mean, she knows I’m dating someone, but I haven’t told them you moved in.”

  The silence stretched out so long Donovan mentally grimaced.

  “How come?” she finally asked.

  22

  Tara was a little hurt that Donovan hadn’t told his parents about her, which was silly considering she was the one who’d insisted they keep their marriage a secret. They’d been married two weeks and things were already getting complicated. The holidays were definitely going to throw a kink into their carefully laid plans, and now she felt uncomfortable, as if he was having misgivings. Why else wouldn’t he have mentioned that they lived together?

  “I’m sorry,” he said after another long, awkward hesitation. “Lying to our friends is one thing, but lying to my parents is another, so I guess I’ve been putting it off.”

  “I don’t like lying, either, but I think it will save us a lot of headache later.”

  “In what way?”

  “I don’t know,” she said with a sigh. “It just feels wrong to announce a marriage with zero celebration. ‘Oh, hey, we eloped and don’t want to have a party or go on a honeymoon or anything. And no, I’m not pregnant, we’re just not interested in celebrating our love...’ That was the first thing my mother asked, by the way.”

  “Yeah, I get it, it’s just not as easy as I thought it would be.”

  “I know, but the flip side of that would be to make a very big deal out of something that doesn’t exist. Not the way it should if we’d gotten married for love instead of my visa. Does that make sense? If I celebrate a marriage, have some sort of wedding, it has to be the real thing… I’m not sure I can explain it properly, but I haven’t been married before, and doing all the celebratory things rubs me the wrong way.”

  This time he was the one who was quiet a little too long.

  “Donovan?”

  “Yeah, I’m here. I get what you’re saying, and you’re right. I’ve done it before, and believe me, my wedding was a huge deal with all the parties and celebrations, and it was a big headache when we divorced. I hadn’t thought about it from your perspective, and I’m sorry.”

  “There’s nothing to be sorry for. I’m just explaining, or at least trying to explain, why I feel the way I do about it.”

  “And it makes sense. We should have talked about this in more detail.”

  “I was a bit frazzled when you first said you’d marry me, so I don’t think I explained properly and t
hen we didn’t have much time until you left.”

  “I’ll be back soon, just a few more days, and then I’m home until after the New Year.”

  “You don’t leave again until January third, right?”

  “I think so, yeah.”

  “And it doesn’t look like it’s a long one, just a week.”

  “I think we’re going up and down the West Coast, so it’s not as long.”

  “Well, I’m going to let you rest and I’ll see you in a few days.”

  “We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

  “Hyvää yötä.”

  “Hyvää yötä.”

  Tara hung up, smiling that he’d picked up a few simple Finnish phrases like “good night,” but was disappointed there wouldn’t be any phone sex. Hopefully, they’d make up for that in person in a few more days.

  After fifteen days apart, Tara was beyond ready for Donovan to be home. She kept busy between babysitting and helping out Coach Azure, but she’d missed Donovan more than she wanted to admit. He’d texted her to say the plane had landed and he’d be home in an hour or so, but she was at the arena with the Tudor team after being invited to participate in an impromptu scrimmage. She’d been just about to get on the ice when she’d seen Donovan’s text and hurriedly replied.

  TARA: I’m playing hockey at the college. I don’t know how long I’ll be but I’ll meet you at home when I’m done.

  DONOVAN: At Tudor?

  TARA: Yes, at their arena. We’re just about to get on the ice.

  DONOVAN: Go play. I’ll be waiting. Try not to dislocate your jaw.

  TARA: You’ll just have to come down and hold my hand.

  DONOVAN: You know I will.

  Tara smiled and put her phone away before skating out onto the ice. She hadn’t played her usual game last week because so many of the players had been busy with holiday-related activities and such, so she’d been excited when Cassie called and asked her if she wanted to play. Most of the Tudor team was here, though it wasn’t an official practice since some local high school students were there, too, and Tara was looking forward to being on the ice with them.