Tending Tara (Alaska Blizzard Book 8)

by Kat Mizera

  “Were you asleep?” she asked in surprise.

  “Yeah. I was reading and I guess I dozed off.” He approached her with a faint smile, lightly pressing his lips to hers. “How was your day?”

  “Amazing!” She threw her arms around his neck. “Guess what?”

  “What?” His eyes danced with amusement, one hand palming her ass.

  “I got my green card and I’m officially the assistant coach of the Tudor College women’s hockey team.”

  “Oh, wow, babe. That’s great.” He hugged her, lifting her a few inches off the ground. “No wonder you’re bouncing off the walls.”

  “I’m so damn excited!”

  “You should be.” He cocked his head, drawing her closer. “I think we should celebrate.”

  “Really? What did you have in mind?”

  “You’ll need to get undressed to find out.”

  “Oh, well, that sounds good.” She kicked off her shoes and ran up the stairs, with him right behind her.

  She quickly wiggled out of her clothes and stood naked in the middle of their bedroom, a playful grin on her face. “Now what?”

  “You want my tongue or my cock?”

  She wiggled her eyebrows. “Both.”

  “Which do you want first?”

  “Both.”

  He shook his head, laughing. “I can’t go down on you and fuck you at the same time, baby. I’m good, but not that good.” He crawled onto the bed and crooked his finger at her, motioning for her to join him. “So you’re gonna have to pick.”

  “Fine.” She pretended to pout. “I suppose I’ll settle for just the tongue.”

  “Honey, there is nothing to settle for when it comes to my tongue finding its way into your pussy.”

  “Then stop talking about it and do it.”

  “You’re a minx, you know that?”

  “I try.”

  “Then spread ’em, my little minx, and prepare to be devoured.”

  “I feel like you’re kind of bossy,” she said, though she laid on her back and spread her legs invitingly.

  “And this is a problem for you?” he asked, kneeling between them.

  “Did I say it was a problem? I merely stated a fact.”

  “Uh-huh.” He nibbled the crease of her thigh, nudging her legs farther apart with his broad shoulders. “And when I tell you to come for me, will that be a problem?”

  “Mmm, no…” Her breath caught as he pressed the tip of his tongue between her folds.

  “So what you’re saying,” he murmured in between pressing light kisses along her slit, “is that you’re going to do what I tell you in bed, and you’re going to like it?”

  “M-most likely…” She gasped as he sucked her clit between his lips. “Yes, oh god, Donovan, yes…”

  He used the tip of his tongue again, this time circling her clit and almost instantly bringing her to the verge of orgasm. She tried to squeeze her legs shut to hold on to some semblance of control, but his wide chest and strong hands were holding her wide open. He licked and sucked, getting her right to the brink, and then pulling back. Over and over, he teased her until she was whimpering with need, begging him to let her come.

  He pulled away and sat up, pressing one finger inside of her. “Ready, sweetheart?”

  “Yes!” She tugged him on top of her and he paused, his cock poised at her entrance without pushing in.

  “You want me, Tara?” His mouth hovered above hers, his eyes burning with intensity.

  “Y-yes.” There was something unusually compelling about him tonight that went far beyond their earlier conversation about celebrating. They weren’t just having sex; they were connecting in a way they hadn’t before, and it did crazy things to her insides.

  “Say it.”

  She paused, searching his face, anxious to decipher what was happening in his head. Maybe even in his heart. And suddenly the next words out of her mouth felt especially important. “Make love to me, Donovan.”

  He slid in with one hard, smooth motion, closing his eyes as he found her mouth with his. He kissed her with sexy, sweeping swirls of his tongue, his mouth possessive but tender. Each stroke of his cock inside of her was like the first time all over again, as sensual and all-encompassing as any sex she’d ever had. She’d never felt anything like this, a heady combination of physical chemistry and emotional intimacy. He didn’t rush, taking his time to get her all worked up again. Missionary was probably her least favorite position but with Donovan, everything she thought she knew went out the window.

  He never stopped kissing her, the whole time he was moving in and out of her, as if he too was experiencing something new. Something important. In her heart, this was what marriage felt like, and it was as terrifying as it was wonderful. They were as connected as two people could possibly be, and when her orgasm raced down her spine and exploded out, he swallowed her cries with his own. Sweat covered them both, but neither of them moved.

  “God damn, baby!” He huffed out a breath.

  “That was…amazing,” she said when she could formulate words again. Amazing wasn’t the right word, not even close, but she was suddenly struggling to stay in control of her emotions and had no idea why.

  “Fuck yeah, it was.”

  Whatever was happening here was intense and so much more than sex. What they’d just shared was real, but Tara had no idea how to handle it because it wasn’t supposed to be like this. She had the strangest urge to jump out of bed and run as far away as possible. Not because he’d done anything wrong but because he did everything so damn right. She’d fallen hard and fast for her sweet, hunky husband-of-convenience, with no lifeline other than her own need for self-preservation. Suddenly overwhelmed, she gently pushed at his chest.

  “I, er, I have to use the bathroom. Please.”

  “Okay.” He rolled over, and she hurried into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her so she could take a few cleansing breaths. What the hell was happening here, and how was she supposed to slow it down? This was supposed to be a fun celebration of her new job, and instead it turned into emotional insanity she wasn’t prepared for. Making love with a man you loved, who hadn’t said anything about loving you back, was the scariest thing she’d ever experienced.

  She rested her hands on the edge of the sink, taking a few deep breaths. She hadn’t been planning to get this involved, to start having feelings like this. She’d always prided herself in being strong and independent, but Donovan stirred the kinds of feelings she couldn’t afford to have. Not in this situation.

  Dammit.

  She was so excited about her new job, but there was a part of her that was nervous, too. What if Donovan didn’t want to be together now that she could work and technically didn’t need him? Well, she needed him, probably more than she wanted to admit, but it had nothing to do with money or a green card now. She fell more in love with him every day, but if he didn’t love her back, staying together would be difficult for her. More than anything else, she didn’t want him to feel trapped. She’d gotten everything she wanted and a bunch of things she hadn’t allowed herself to want by marrying him, but she couldn’t fathom what he got out of it.

  Sex was easy. He could get that anywhere. Yes, they’d discussed that they preferred sex with one person to having multiple partners, but still. He was rich, good-looking, and successful. It would be easy for him to find a regular hook-up, so there was more to them than the sex. Whatever it was, though, it wasn’t love. They hadn’t fallen in love and gotten married; they’d fallen into bed and then he’d done her a favor by marrying her. Somehow, they’d never talked about the fact that it would be two or three years before she could apply for citizenship, and she honestly hadn’t been thinking that far ahead.

  Her short-term goal had been to stay in the U.S. to avoid going back to Savonlinna. Now she not only had a visa to stay, she had a green card and had accepted a job she desperately wanted. Donovan had made all of her dreams come true except one—the one where she got him
, too. She had him on paper, but if he didn’t love her back, then it would be increasingly difficult to be with him day in and day out. So now she had to make a decision.

  “Tara?” Donovan slowly opened the door and she quickly turned around, suddenly self-conscious, as if her naked body somehow bared her thoughts and emotions to him as well.

  “I’ll just be a minute,” she murmured, not meeting his gaze.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked softly, reaching for her. “Was I too rough?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “The sex was perfect.”

  “Then what happened? You jumped out of bed like it was on fire.”

  “Nothing. Really. Just got a little overwhelmed with the wonderfulness of my life. In my experience, good things are usually tempered by the boring, mundane, or bad, but there is nothing boring, mundane or bad in my life here in Anchorage. Not a single thing, and usually when something is too good to be true, it is.”

  He slowly reached for her, hands settling on her hips as he looked down into her face. “That’s a lot of deep thinking for what was supposed to be a celebration of your new job.”

  “Sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” She turned away uncomfortably.

  “You’re upset about something.”

  “I’m truly not.” She forced a smile to her lips. “I’m just worried that after so much good, something bad is bound to happen.”

  “Nothing bad is going to happen. I promise.”

  She moved against his chest, closed her eyes, and willed it to be true.

  “You okay?” he asked, kissing the top of her head.

  “Yes.”

  31

  Looking down into her beautiful face, Donovan had no doubt she was lying. About what, he didn’t know, but something about her explanation was off, and she obviously didn’t want to tell him what was really happening. Was she falling as hard as he was, or was she distancing herself now that she had what she wanted? He didn’t know, and it pissed him off because he was falling harder and deeper in love with her every damn day. He’d never had trouble expressing his feelings for someone before, but maybe it was because he’d never felt like this before.

  “You want to go downstairs and get something to eat?” he asked after a moment. “I’m starving.”

  “I didn’t do anything about dinner,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

  “Let’s just order in. I’m tired. Today’s meeting was exhausting and depressing.”

  “Depressing? Why?”

  “Not only is Aaron coming back next game, they’re keeping Viktor, too, which means now there’s two of us in the back-up position.”

  “What do you think that means?”

  “I don’t know.”

  They got dressed in relative silence and he grabbed a few takeout menus from a drawer in the kitchen. “What do you feel like?”

  “You choose.”

  “Chinese?”

  “Sure.” She told him what she wanted, and he called it in while they curled up on the couch in the great room. He got up to add some more wood to the fire since he’d lit it a few hours ago when he got home, and then sat down next to her. Her legs were tucked under her and her hair was a sexy, messy halo around her face, but she’d never looked more beautiful to him. She was wearing one of his sweatshirts over her yoga pants, and it was huge on her, but he knew what her body looked like, and he ached to touch it even though they’d made love less than half an hour ago.

  “My next trip is coming up,” he said, “so I ordered a generator. That storm at Christmas reminded me that I need to make sure you’re okay while I’m gone. This time of year the weather can be tricky.”

  “You’re very thoughtful,” she said. “Thank you.”

  “I think it’ll arrive before I leave, but if not, Gage said he’d come help you set it up if we get another storm.”

  “Oh, good, because I know nothing about generators.”

  “Me either, but I’m sure I could figure it out.”

  “Just worry about hockey. I’ll be fine. If there’s another ice storm, I can go stay with Charli.”

  They sat in companionable silence for a while, until their food arrived and they ate in relative silence. Something was bothering her, but he wasn’t sure how to broach the subject. He had his own shit going on now that he wasn’t going to be the starter anymore, and it was more depressing than he’d thought it would be. It had been great while it lasted, and he’d played his ass off, but it didn’t seem to matter. He’d known Aaron would be coming back, but having Viktor around added a kink to the machinery, and he didn’t like it.

  Tara had gotten such good news today, though, he didn’t want to ruin the evening with his stuff. Especially since there was this weirdness between them. Something had happened after they’d made love and he wondered if she somehow sensed his growing feelings for her. If she didn’t return them, that would make her uncomfortable, and it occurred to him they’d never had a conversation about how long their arrangement would last.

  They’d discussed the big things, of course, like signing a prenuptial, but beyond that it had happened so fast, and he felt like they needed to talk. Not tonight, though. She was texting her brother and a few of her friends, telling them about the job, and he was kind of grumpy anyway. Maybe after tomorrow’s game he’d sit down with her and hash it all out. He needed to know where they stood as a couple because this new development with three goalies on the roster meant someone was getting traded, and it was probably going to be him.

  The game the next night was brutal. The Blizzard lost 5-0, and Aaron looked like hell out there. It made sense after nearly two months on the sidelines, but it hurt nonetheless. Coach Caldwell kept him in because he needed to shake it off and work past any issues from his first game back on the ice, so Donovan sat on the bench gritting his teeth.

  “I’m sorry, guys.” Aaron sat in the locker room after the game shaking his head. “I let you down.”

  “It happens to all of us,” Jake said. “Next one will be better.”

  “You were out almost two months,” Donovan said. “You’ll get your legs back under you.” The first game back after months on the injured reserve was hard for anyone, no matter how good you were, and despite his frustration, Donovan felt for Aaron.

  “Thanks. I really hope so.” Aaron looked irritated and left the locker room before the media came in, so Donovan stayed and answered the inevitable questions about having to sit on the bench after playing so well while Aaron had been out.

  It was part of the job, talking to the press and answering the hard questions with honest but carefully worded responses. Some guys blurted out whatever was on their mind, but Donovan hoped he still had a long career ahead of him and didn’t want to come off as someone controversial. He had a reputation as a team player and a leader in the locker room, even though he didn’t wear the “C” or even an “A” on his jersey. Goalies generally couldn’t hold captain or alternate positions, but he played that role unofficially.

  “You okay?” Miikka asked him as they walked back to the family lounge after they’d cleaned up.

  “Yeah. It’s always rough being on the bench during a loss, but Nashville was hot tonight. We might have lost anyway.”

  “That’s always possible. But now at least I have someone to talk to when I go home after a rough game. It makes a difference, don’t you think?”

  Donovan frowned. “It’s funny—it never did when I was married to Jane. The last thing she ever wanted to talk about was hockey.”

  “That’s because she wasn’t the right woman for you.”

  Donovan managed a lopsided smile. “That’s for sure.”

  “Anyway, I’m leaving,” he said. “Charli didn’t come tonight, she’s not feeling well, so I want to get home to her. The pregnancy has been okay so far, but the past week has been different.”

  “Is she okay?”

  “The doctor says nausea and fatigue are normal, but today she was in bed most of the day.”
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  “Let us know if you need anything.”

  “For sure. Thanks.” Miikka headed out and Donovan watched him go thoughtfully. There was something to be said for having someone waiting at home for you. Especially on nights like these when everything had gone wrong. Maybe not for him personally, but there was truly no “I” in a hockey team, so they usually felt losses as a whole. Tonight’s had left him feeling helpless, but knowing Tara was just a few steps away, waiting for him in the lounge, made it feel a little less frustrating. Maybe being the back-up here in Anchorage wasn’t such a bad thing.

  He walked into the room and Tara immediately smiled, her face lighting up as she approached him.

  “Hi.” She leaned up for a kiss. “I’m sorry about the loss.”

  “It’s okay.” He wrapped an arm around her and firmly pressed his lips to hers.

  Miikka was right; having someone special waiting for you made these kinds of games a lot more bearable. Donovan didn’t know what the future had in store for them, but it had become abundantly clear he didn’t want to lose her.

  Tomorrow he was going to call his agent and tell him he wasn’t in any hurry to get traded. Maybe, if they had more time together, she’d decide she wanted to be with him no matter where he had to go for hockey.

  The night before the team left for the next road trip, Donovan planned a quiet, romantic evening at home for him and Tara. It might have been a little selfish, but he wanted her to miss him while he was gone. Things between them had amped up over the holidays, and having three weeks at home together had shown him how good it could be between them. Now he had just had to convince her a pro athlete like him was worth the risk. He didn’t know if she would be happy moving around, and that was ultimately a possibility. She loved their life here in Alaska, so he had to find a way to make the focus about them, as a couple, rather than all the other stuff.

  He had to find a way to make her love him.

  “You’ll be in the Midwest for most of this trip,” she was saying as they cuddled on the sectional. “So that’s only a three-hour time difference rather than four, when you’re on the East Coast.”