Stubborn

by Jeanne Arnold

  “Gabriel J. whatever the heck your middle name is Halden, I love you. I’ve been thinking it for like forever. Do you really doubt me?”

  He gave no response.

  My heart slowly tumbled down an invisible flight of stairs.

  Why wasn’t he saying it back? Was he still in love with Jordan? I was a fool to have said it first. The long pause fueled my paranoia.

  Gabe sat up tall and leveled his spine against the seat, his arms still tight around my waist. “Joel. It’s Joel,” he said.

  Was that all?

  My ragged breath thinned as I blew it out in increments. I wanted to vomit. I wanted to shake him. Did I not speak clearly? Did he not hear me profess my love? I had never been in love, nor had I ever felt like such an outsider in my own skin. I didn’t know what to do.

  “I have to go,” I said abruptly.

  I slipped off his legs and out of his grip. I couldn’t let him see how a pathetic girl with an unrequited crush behaved. I was embarrassed and humiliated. My feet bumped into corners and legs and moldings as I shuffled clumsily out of the dark room. The light over the kitchen sink flickered and led me to a safe haven. I needed to run away, to press the delete button on the last few weeks of my life.

  I made a wrong turn in my flustered state.

  He didn’t love me.

  Before I could run down to the basement, I realized Gabe was standing in the doorway with his arms stretched over the door jamb. He was so tall he could touch the ceiling. I spun around to avoid his face and disguised my emotions with a phony, cheerful sigh. When I opened the fridge, the cool air did nothing to settle my quivering lip. I pulled out a can of 7UP and stepped to the sink. I made no acknowledgement of his presence.

  “Av’ry,” he said.

  More silence. I swallowed my tears.

  “Av’ry. Hey. What gives?”

  With each word of his silky voice, my heart sunk lower. I wanted to spit. My shaky hands fumbled with the pop top on the soda can.

  “Hmm?” I moaned in my most careless voice.

  I poured the soda with a trembling hand, the glass slipped, and I dropped the beverage onto a dirty dinner plate. The glass shattered.

  “Hey,” said Gabe as he stepped up to my back. “What’s wrong? Lemme get that.” He gently nudged my arm and took a shard from my grip. “Av’ry, c’mon.” He dropped the glass and pulled me close. “Hey there you,” he crooned into my hair as I trembled against his shirt.

  “I’m fine,” I moaned again.

  I skated out of his embrace and started to the door, but he grabbed my wrist and yanked hard. I stopped cold, facing away. Gabe walked around me and blocked my exit.

  “Don’t go. C’mon now,” he said looking sort of stunned that he had driven me to tears.

  His hand released and I took off, circling the kitchen, keeping to the far side of the table. If I could get to the stairs, I could run to my room and lock the door. I was halfway to the second floor when he caught up to me again. I stumbled forward and knocked my knees against the step. He lifted me up by my waist and turned me in his arms. I fought him tooth and nail, flailing and desperate.

  He tensed his grip. It was no use fighting him.

  “Stop it, Av’ry,” he ordered in a drawl.

  “No. You stop it! Let me go!”

  I couldn’t make heads or tails of what I was feeling, except that I wanted him. I really wanted him to love me back. I didn’t want to have to doubt if I was his real girlfriend or not. I wanted every day to be the same. I was sick of questioning him and his moods.

  “Lemme go!” I yelled again. “Put me down. I’m tired. I want to go to bed.”

  His hands snuggled me closer.

  “Gabe—I mean it! I’ll tell Meggie.”

  With that, he set me down on the second floor landing.

  “You’re a handful,” he told me laughing as he ran his fingers through his hair. “And fast. And hell, you’re heavy.”

  I pushed past him with a strong arm where he was blocking the stairs. As I got to the second step going up, I turned briefly and startled. Our eyes locked. He was following on my heels.

  “Just don’t. Okay?”

  Gabe tilted his head down and grinned. “Don’t what? Don’t this?”

  He took my head in his hands and found my mouth with his lips. I slithered out of his grip as he pecked at my top lip. I sat fast on the step before he could steal the chance to win me over with his five star kiss.

  “I feel stupid,” I whimpered under my breath and dropped my head in my hands.

  He settled next to me in the stairwell and sighed. “Why?”

  I snorted in the most unladylike fashion. “Because I say stupid things. I say them before I should.”

  Gabe’s arm floated up and landed on my shoulder. His other hand twisted my legs toward him.

  “Look,” he said. “I didn’t say it. I’m pretty stupid too. I didn’t think you’d be this shook up. I wanna say it. But I’m scared. I’m scared of...it’s just that the last time...” he paused.

  Jordan. He wasn’t over her.

  “Oh.” I died a little more.

  “Av’ry,” he said, my name a purr. “You make me crazy inside. You make me so crazy all I wanna do is—”

  I cut him off and pressed two fingers on his moving lips. “You make me crazy too. You have no idea.”

  “Av-er-y,” he enunciated. “I love your name. It’s very Texas. You like how I say it. I know you do.”

  He made a twisted grin. I laughed. At least he loved something about me.

  Our cheeks touched. His lips grazed my earlobe, his warm breath swirled around my ear. I inhaled his delicious shampoo.

  “I love everything about you. Especially the way you’re always flashing me. In case you’re not following—I love you too,” he whispered.

  Our faces moved at just the very same moment and he covered my mouth with his.

  I loved him so much it hurt.

  Just as my lids closed, they sprang right back up. A flash of light shot into the stairwell and bounced off each wall. Then it disappeared.

  “What was that?” I answered my own question when I figured out it was a set of headlights. “Aunt Meggie. Go see if it’s her.”

  Gabe tromped down a flight of stairs and ran to a side window near the driveway. I followed. He lifted the shade.

  “Yup. It’s my dad and her,” he grumbled.

  I streaked across the room and stole a glance out the window. “What is that?”

  There was an extravagant sedan in the driveway. The fancy vehicle stood out like a sore thumb on the rundown property. Even more if it was daylight. The engine hummed softly like a kitten’s purr.

  “It’s a Bentley,” Gabe told me and slipped his arms around my waist from behind.

  I loved when he did that. I loved how he said that. He was warm and strong and his chin fit perfectly on my head. My palms closed over his and I rubbed his soft knuckles.

  Nobody got out of the car.

  “He always has one ready at the airport. Sometimes he has a driver.”

  I snorted. Of course he did.

  “Don’t laugh. I’ve seen him fly that damn helicopter into her field like he’s Air Force One. This is nothing.”

  I knew that a Bentley cost more than a college education. Gabe backed away to look out another window. Meggie and Mr. Halden were having a heated discussion.

  “What’s that all about?” I asked of their encounter. Meggie was talking with her hands like she did when she was trying to make a point.

  “The usual. They argue, they make up,” he shared.

  I lurched back, surprised. Did he think they were a couple? Then I moved back to the window and fixed my eyes on the front seat to watch more of their conversation. Gabe stared absently into the dark.

  “What do you think they’re arguing about?”

  “Huh?” He held himself against the window with outspread arms. The muscles tensed in his back and distracted me from my probi
ng thoughts.

  My chest grew tight. Mr. Halden’s door opened. I clamped my mouth shut and stared as he spilled out and circled around to Meggie’s door. He was dressed casually in jeans and cowboy boots, but his posture was square. He walked like Gabe. Quick, with long strides. I gazed with interest as he extended a hand to Meggie. She stood.

  When they embraced, I almost lost my dinner.

  I had never seen my aunt with a real man. I never imagined I would see my Aunt Meggie pregnant and affectionately hugging Gabriel Halden’s father, the handsome like-a-movie-star, billionaire, oil tycoon—like he was more than just a casual friend.

  And then the unthinkable happened. He leaned in and kissed her. He kissed her passionately. Meggie’s arms fell to her sides.

  I gawked as his hand stroked her baby bump.

  “There ya go. See,” Gabe said smugly. “Happily ever after.” He made his eyebrows wiggle.

  I attempted to breathe. I knew I had to breathe.

  “My...my aunt and your father? Oh my god! This is nuts. You knew?” I asked, flabbergasted.

  “Knew what? You mean about them. Hell yeah. For years. Didn’t you?”

  Years?

  “No,” I said bluntly, my stare was unwavering. He had to give me more. “What do you mean years? They’ve known each other that long?”

  I wondered if my mother knew. I cringed to think that she knew about Gabe’s dad before I knew Gabe.

  “Told you she was like family. They got together again when Eli died. I thought you knew.”

  I could only concentrate on one thing at a time.

  “Josh never said anything,” I replied as I wiped the perspiration off my forehead.

  “He probably thought you knew too. It’s not like the lieutenant’s here all the time. Thank heck for that.” He rolled his eyes.

  I carried my astounded gaze out the window again and braced my palms against the window frame. Mr. Halden was holding Meggie’s hands, staring into her eyes. I realized how clueless I had been. When I was dancing with Mr. Halden, when I heard Meggie on the phone with him, when I learned he was retired Air Force, her pregnancy—all of that should have clued me in.

  She was having his baby. My aunt was having my boyfriend’s father’s kid!

  The screen door slapped shut and interrupted my runaway thoughts. Gabe was gone. I ran into the kitchen and cast a quick glimpse out the window to catch him hightailing it to the coop. I guessed he was trying to save his butt so he wouldn’t be sent back to Texas. Then the porch light came on and the front door opened. I turned on the water in the sink. It was the only place in the house with the light on, so I pretended to be washing dishes. A small sliver of glass caught in the drain and reminded me of my earlier drama before Gabe said he loved me.

  Then I repeated aloud, “Gabe said he loved me.”

  “Avery?” Meggie called as she walked past the stairs and joined me in the kitchen. “I thought I saw the light. Are you alone?”

  Was she alone? Had Mr. Halden gone home?

  “Uh huh,” I muttered. “How’s Caleb?”

  She crooked her neck to glance out the kitchen window. “He’s asleep now, kiddo. Uncomfortable, but resting. His dad arrived. I think he plans to spend the night at the hospital. Caleb was looking for you, Avery. I was glad when Molly decided to go home because he kept asking for you.” She lobbed her words and starred me down. “Why do you think that is?”

  I shrugged my shoulders lightly. I had done nothing to provoke his interest. It wasn’t my fault he was asking for me.

  “He sorta has a thing for me,” I said coolly. “I can’t make him stop it.”

  “Does it bother you? Have you talked to him?”

  “It’s fine. Gabe punched his lights out in Texas. He hasn’t bothered me since.”

  She moved in. She looked flushed. Then she shook her head. “You need to let me know. Telling Gabe isn’t the best idea. Those two usually go at it until one of them severs an artery. Do you understand?”

  What I really wanted to do was throw the book back at her, but I had a feeling Mr. Halden was going to waltz in. “Yep. Where did Mr. Halden go?”

  Meggie tipped her chin toward the coop. She seemed surprised I mentioned him. “He’s looking for Gabe. His truck’s here. Have you seen him since he drove you back?” Her eyes tightened in on me.

  I knew what she was thinking.

  “He brought some clothes in and then left really fast,” I lied.

  I didn’t plan to tell her everything. Like how I no longer needed air to breathe, now that I knew Gabe’s heart was beating for me. I was madly in love with Gabriel Halden, and I fully understood what the madly part meant.

  “I found some blankets and sheets. I’ll make up the couch tomorrow.”

  I left her in the kitchen and lumbered to my bedroom full of worry for Gabe, anxiously waiting for his father to leave. My eyes stayed glued to the Bentley in the driveway. I hoped Gabe kept his cool. The last time they spoke, he was kicked out of the mansion in Benjamin.

  It was late when I awoke from my crouched position at my window. The Bentley was pulling off the property. I glanced at my clock then listened for twenty whole minutes before I heard Meggie’s footsteps on the creaky stairs. Her bedroom door shut with a click.

  Without hesitation, I opened my door and proceeded to tiptoe down the stairs. I held my breath as I let my weight shift gradually, from my sore foot to the next. I knew what danger I was putting myself in if I got caught. At the back door, I slipped into a pair of Meggie’s slippers and inched the noisy door open until I could shimmy my body through. Then I let it fall back into place.

  I swelled with relief and tore across the lawn with a limp to Gabe’s door. None of the usual boarders were outside smoking. I wondered if it had anything to do with Mr. Halden’s glamorous arrival. He was the oil king, after all. And their boss.

  I shot one hasty glimpse over my shoulder to see if Meggie’s light was off. It was.

  I knocked zealously. The light was on inside, but Gabe didn’t answer. I continued knocking until my knuckles were sore. When the door opened, he was wearing unbuttoned shorts and toweling his wet hair.

  “I thought you fell asleep,” I said entering without a welcome.

  His brows lifted. “I thought you were afraid of getting caught with me. This ain’t playing by the rules,” he said as he rubbed his hair until it stood on end. “Did she change her mind about you seeing an older man?”

  I sat down on the bed next to his prized guitar and wiggled my toes in the slippers.

  “No. I needed to see you.”

  Shyness overcame me. It was absurd. I had seen stitches pulled out of the boy’s stomach.

  Gabe tossed the towel on Caleb’s bed and stood in front of me. His legs were wet with beaded water. I allowed my eyes to climb up his body slowly. He was so close. My belly clenched from his proximity.

  “See me now?” he joked.

  I could hear a teasing smile form on his lips. He lifted my chin with one hand and placed the other on my shoulder. I grabbed his waist and caused him to flinch. Then I pressed the side of my face into his damp stomach, imagining I could be torn away from him at any minute. His muscles tightened into a board.

  Then I mumbled into his skin, “Gabe, I love you. It’s killing me to stay away.”

  My thumb brushed over his pale scar.

  He sighed loudly through his nose. I didn’t move when he wrapped his hand around my ponytail and twisted it. I didn’t need to move. I wanted to hold him forever. His heart was beating powerfully in my ear.

  “Uh...you can’t hold me like that...Av’ry. Get up,” he said, gulping. He gently tugged on my hair.

  I got to my feet and stared at his throat as it bobbed. I wanted to kiss it.

  “I don’t care no more if we get caught. You wanna stay?” He breathed hard into my face.

  I reached for his neck and pulled his head down to access his mouth to answer him. I molded my lips to his and kissed him deeply
, holding him to me. Into his mouth I hummed my answer. His hands wrapped around my waist and his weight fell clumsily into me. We stumbled into the bed. A lone chuckle squeaked out of my throat when I hit the covers and a stack of books catapulted into the air. Then our breathing synchronized, our hearts pulsed in step. Facing one another, we exchanged a long, haunting gaze. Only our hands were touching. Then his eyes flickered to the other side of the room and back to me.

  After a beat, I asked, “What did your father want?”

  Gabe rolled onto his back and ran his fingers through his wet hair. He smelled fresh like soap and wonderful things.

  “Nothing much. I know what you’re thinking, but I didn’t snap at him. I told him about the battery fire, the accident. He probably won’t do a damned thing. Hunt Barrett’s going down. Mark my words. I’m gonna beat the living daylights outta the slime next time I get the chance. If anything happened to my brother, I would have killed that sonofabitch already.”

  “Why would Hunt mess with one of your oil wells? Doesn’t he have enough of his own?” I asked, clueless.

  Gabe closed his eyes. “Hunt’s trying to shut us down. My dad owns thousands of acres of Bakken minerals—all under Barrett land. He’s got wildcat wells exploring reservoirs all over the place. Years ago he took a gamble when the Dakotas dried up and bought up minerals in every corner of the state. Called himself a venture capitalist. Everybody thought he was a fool. I wasn’t even born. That was before we did all this fracking stuff. You know, hydrofracking where they bust up the shale to release the oil. On top of that, HalRem sets up rigs and employs half of this state right now. You know it costs nearly ten million smackeroos to put in one well? Hunt don’t have that kinda capital.”

  I was impressed when he got all professional. But I was still clueless.

  “Meggie’s getting evicted. It has to do with Hunt. Your father knows it. He seemed really calm about it too.”

  Gabe’s eyes spread open. “What the heck?” He pushed up on his elbows. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

  I rolled onto my back and folded my hands over my shirt. “I don’t know. Why didn’t you tell me about Meggie and Joel and the baby?”

  Gabe’s hand touched my forehead. He ran his fingers through my bangs and traced the faded words.