Stubborn

by Jeanne Arnold

  Twelve

  “Gabriel, wait!” Jordan’s voice pierced the air like a polished dagger.

  Gabe turned as she emerged wearing Caleb’s wrinkly shirt. Gabe’s top lip rolled over his teeth.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything, Gabe,” she sobbed, mascara dribbling down her cheeks like angry war paint. “I never meant for anything to happen. Hunt dropped me off that night. He was driving. I didn’t know he was drunk. I couldn’t tell. I’m so sorry.”

  “That’s a buncha bull,” mumbled Caleb from the bed. “I wouldn’t believe her, bro. She knew what she was doing.”

  My gaze flickered to Caleb and then narrowed on Gabe. Caleb was working her. It worked.

  Jordan went on. “He said he’d hurt my family if I told the truth. He makes me live with him and watches everything I do. I couldn’t help you. Or be with you, Gabe.”

  I listened in disbelief, watched in horror. She took a running step and fell against Gabe, weeping into his chest. He stumbled back and knocked into a pile of his books, but made no move to push her away. My world ended when she folded herself around his body and pressed her cheek against his. The same exact way I held him earlier.

  He just let her.

  He just stood there as my eyes pleaded with him until I couldn’t stand it. I lunged at Jordan and yanked at her shoulder.

  “You had your chance,” I said in an even, threatening tone.

  She let go of Gabe and stepped back. I didn’t know what to do. He was looking at her with those eyes, my favorite pair of hazel eyes. Then his gaze fell, avoiding mine. My heart stopped like it had run out of gas. There was no blood to pump, no life to support. An invisible wrecking ball soared through the air and walloped me.

  I bolted and pitched toward the dark house. I didn’t think anybody noticed.

  As I reached the porch, Josh called out, “Incoming! They’re here!”

  Two sets of headlights streamed through the blackness toward the property like wild animals. I peered through my flooded eyes as Gabe and his rifle ran out of the coop, but not to pursue me. Vehicles plowed through the wheat farm with no regard for private property. Engines rumbled and whined. Lane tossed a rifle to Josh and hollered instructions in the commotion as Meggie’s boarders spilled out of the coop. I rushed inside and didn’t look back.

  * * *

  Someone opened my bedroom door in the night and checked if I was alive. If I had to guess—it was Josh. I couldn’t risk looking out the window and catching Gabe consoling Jordan. I had no idea if anyone was hurt in the raid. I listened for gunshots, voices, police, until I fell asleep on my saturated sleeve and awoke when a horn honked below my bedroom window. I stumbled from the bed with bated breath. I hoped it was Gabe. I lowered my gaze to the driveway thinking maybe he would be waiting for me to look out. My heart bombed. In place of Gabe’s black pickup was Mr. Halden’s Bentley. He backed up and I watched him drive away. He honked once more.

  My chest heaved as I struggled for a breath. The air thinned as heavy despair set in again. I returned to my bed. The night’s events flashed through my mind as if I had recorded every frame.

  I no longer wanted to be in North Dakota.

  Aunt Meggie opened my bedroom door with a slow, steady creak. She wore a HalRem hat that was two sizes too big with her frizzy hair pulled into a clip at her neck.

  “Hi, kiddo,” she said cheerily and set her weight on the side of the bed where I was curled up. “Joel couldn’t stay. He has business in town. Lane called him early this morning and we raced back. No surprise where those boys get their lead foot.” After a thoughtful pause, she asked, “Do you know what’s going on? Is everything okay with the boys?”

  “I wanna go home, Aunt Meggie. I’ve had enough of them.”

  “Oh my,” she murmured into my hair. “I’ll be darned. I leave for one day and the sky falls. What happened?”

  “I can’t see him anymore.”

  Meggie lifted my chin and smiled a warm smile.

  I returned her gesture, only my smile was counterfeit.

  “Haldens. Sometimes I think they’re cursed and so is everyone they love,” she said and made a twisted grin. “I’ve been living it for years, Avery. I’ve loved that man with everything I have. It’s just I couldn’t live with him.”

  “I love Gabe. I love him so much it hurts. I thought he loved me. He makes me so mad!” The anguish I felt was immeasurable, like I was being suffocated and kicked simultaneously.

  “Oh, Avery. He’s going through a lot right now. This isn’t the best time to start something serious with any of these boys. I know you can’t help your feelings.”

  “He’s mad at Caleb and me, but I didn’t do anything with Caleb,” I blurted. “He’s all messed up.”

  “I’ll let you in on a little secret. When I met Joel in the Air Force—he was that boy. Cocky and bullheaded and such a big charmer. Oh, my word. He was much older than I was, but I had to have him.”

  “So you knew him for a long time?” I reared back, calculating and estimating ages and dates. “You knew Gabe when he was a baby.”

  I was somewhat intrigued. Still, I wanted to bury my head until I had a train ticket in my hand. Why didn’t Gabe come back for me?

  “Yeah, I knew he had four little boys. I’m not proud of it, but I fell in love with a married man. He was planning to leave his wife for a long time. It was complicated. It’s still complicated. And when I got...” She cut herself off.

  “You got what?” Her words slowly sank in. “You got pregnant? Back then?”

  Meggie’s lips bit into a straight line across her face. “Uh huh. You betcha,” she whispered.

  I studied her eyes as they began to well up and widen.

  “They’re all brothers? No way! Joshie is Gabe’s brother?”

  Meggie covered her face with her hands. A very large, very opulent, pear-shaped diamond winked at me. Its tiny facets twinkled and glinted. I couldn’t focus. I was on serious overload.

  “Yep,” she said openly. “Joshua is their half-brother. He doesn’t know. Joel shared this with Eli, but never told the others. I have a feeling Lane knows. He’s a smart cookie. I wouldn’t be surprised if Gabe or Caleb figured it out when they realized I was pregnant.”

  I fell back against the pillows and rubbed the tired out of my eyes.

  “My god, Aunt Meggie. How come you never...I mean how come you live here?”

  I didn’t mean to insult her. My mind wasn’t right. Images of Gabe and Jordan muddled my thoughts. I wanted to go find him, confront him. Tear her body off him. Gabe’s voice was in my head. His face, his smell, his touch was all over me.

  “I didn’t want my kid to grow up with everything at his fingertips. I didn’t want to be taken care of. Joel, he wanted everything his way. I needed to live my own life, make my own way, my own decisions. I knew that he couldn’t be a full-time father to Josh. He had his hands full with four boys and a new business. HalRem was thriving and I knew he’d be in and out of town. Josh will inherit a fair share of HalRem just like the others. We decided together that the boys should have to work their way up the company. Same for Josh, although he isn’t aware of the outcome yet.”

  “Joshie’s in a photo I saw in Texas. I really thought it was Brianna. He looks just like her. He’s at a birthday party,” I told her.

  “When their mother left, I made a few trips down, grew to love those boys. Although I’ve had them here for summers, me and Joel drifted some. We’ve had some serious bumps. He got more and more involved with the oil business, busy making all that money. Until Eli’s accident happened. Life certainly throws poisonous darts at us when we aren’t looking. The misery of losing a child put life in perspective. I feel so blessed to be having this baby.”

  I looked on curiously, my brows crimped, as I remembered what I wanted to say. “Are you engaged?”

  The boulder on her left hand was spectacular. She blushed and grinned through her teary expression.

  “Oh
, Aunt Meggie! This changes everything for you, doesn’t it?” I struggled not to cry.

  My head throbbed. I could smell Gabe in the air when I spotted his books on my dresser. I pictured us kissing against the furniture, and I ran my fingers over the orange soda stain on my quilt.

  “It doesn’t fix everything, but I have to say, that man had some nifty tricks up his Armani sleeve.” She chuckled. The bed shook. “Take a look at this hat, kiddo.”

  I wiped my weary eyes with the back of my wrists.

  “What about it? It looks like all the other ones you have.”

  She flipped it over and set it on my lap. Her grin grew to the size of a football field. “Have a lookie.”

  I read the printing slowly. “Congrats, Mrs. Halden. All My Love, Willie.” I lifted my gaze. “He got it from Willie Nelson?”

  She gave a tight laugh and her eyes glimmered with joy.

  “No, kiddo. Willie gave it to me. When he asked me to read it out loud, I didn’t quite understand. That’s when Joel proposed. I almost passed out.”

  “So you met him? And you got engaged?”

  She nodded. “You bet. Mr. Nelson sang to us with that unforgettable, storytelling voice of his. I wish you could have all been there. It was magical.”

  I hung my head.

  “Oh, Avery, I’m so sorry you’re upset.” Meggie embraced me in a warm hug.

  I could hardly allow myself to recall why I was upset, what had happened in the coop. It wasn’t real.

  “Does my mother know?” I asked, not entirely sure I wanted to know.

  “She knows about Joel. She knows everything. She met him way back when you were one. And so did you.”

  “He met me? He didn’t say anything when we met.”

  “Yep. He was visiting here when your folks came out to introduce you to Williston.” She rocked her shoulders back and grinned. “I was on leave.”

  The irony was fantastic. The story was whacked. I totally understood why my mom was so hung up on how Meggie lived her life. She knew about the affair with the gorgeous married man who was Josh’s real father, the four boys, his oil fortune, Eli’s death. Everything. I had found his son. My mother would just die.

  Except I had nothing to share anymore. “She disapproves?”

  “Uff-da! Disapproves doesn’t cover it, kiddo. She has her many reasons, but we don’t need to get into it. Like I said, it’s complicated. Your mom is just looking out for me. But you know what? I love my little boy, my teenager. He’s my everything. And if I hadn’t met Joel, I wouldn’t have him. Same for this little fella.”

  “You know it’s a boy?”

  “Nope. I’ll wait this time. But the odds are stacked, don’t you think? Bet you can guess what he’s going to look like if he’s a boy.”

  * * *

  I futzed around the rest of the morning and moved in and out of my funk. I stalled each time something reminded me of Gabe. Or I recalled something witty he’d said. Or I remembered the softness of his lips, the charge from his touch.

  When the Bentley rolled in after lunch, Caleb slid out of the front seat. His father patted him on the back before he returned to the coop. Then Mr. Halden knocked and entered like he owned Meggie’s place.

  “Hello, Miss Ross. Where’s your aunt? I need a word with her.”

  Would he ever use my real name? This man who looked so much like Gabriel?

  “She’s lying down upstairs. I’ll get her.” I wondered if he wanted to get her himself.

  I found Meggie awake, sitting up in bed. She followed me down.

  “Joel. What’s going on? What did the boys need?”

  “Margareta, have a seat.” He pulled out a kitchen chair and grazed the side of her cheek with his thumb. “There are some things we need to discuss.”

  “I’ll stand. Okiedokie?”

  Mr. Halden’s handsome face hardened.

  “My boys and Miss Ross have been busy, I’ll have you know. Hunter Barrett was arrested this morning on charges of DWI, intoxication, manslaughter, arson, and false imprisonment of that poor Miss Halverson.”

  I quailed at the mention of her name. I cringed because everything I did led Gabe right back to her.

  Meggie’s hands flew up to cover her mouth. She sat down in the chair Mr. Halden was offering. “Oh, Joel. Really? It’s over?”

  I narrowed my gaze on his hand as he clasped Meggie’s and knelt at her side. He genuinely loved her.

  “I know. It seems we have Miss Ross to thank,” he said in a thick accent and raised his chin at me.

  Meggie’s head lifted. She looked baffled. Her eyes seared me. “I don’t think I wanna know,” she murmured and looked away.

  Mr. Halden got to his feet. His hand rested on Meggie’s shoulder. “There’s one caveat, Margareta.” His shoulders squared. “Hunter has threatened to...well...he’s making idle threats against Miss Ross and my boys.”

  “Oh no! Avery?” Meggie wailed into her hand. “Do something Joel. I’m responsible for her.”

  Was I not sitting at the same table? I slapped my hand down harder than I intended. “I’m not worried. He’s a big coward.”

  I wondered if Gabe knew about the confession. Where was he? The hollowness of my stomach began to fill with pain again, the jolting feeling returning tenfold. Didn’t he care at all?

  “May well be—still, we can’t take any chances. I think it’s best we get you back to New York. At least until he’s prosecuted,” Mr. Halden said. His hazel eyes held my gaze from across the table.

  The vicious palpitating in my chest was paralyzing. I couldn’t speak. All I could think about was breathing.

  “I’ll arrange a flight. My pilot’s on standby. Caleb’ll stay in here in case there’s any trouble up until then.”

  I can’t leave! I changed my mind. I can’t go anywhere. I need to see Gabe. My inner voice screamed as Mr. Halden left through the front door after speaking to Meggie in private.

  I made eyes at Caleb when he entered through the back door minutes later.

  “You okay, legs?” he asked.

  I felt my control slipping again. I was not okay. My life was over.

  “You cryin’ over Gabe?” Deep wrinkles formed on his forehead. I always thought he was blind to everyone but himself.

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I told him and folded my arms.

  “Well, I just threw Hunt in the slammer.” He propped himself up against the sink and stared me down with his intense hazels. “Hey, but the real good news is Jordan’s gone. She talked and the lieutenant sent her to Timbuktu. Shipped her to Benjamin until the stink clears. She’ll never have to worry about Hunt again.”

  I got what I wanted, so why did I feel so lousy and broken? Jordan confessed. She was gone. Though it didn’t negate the fact that Gabe still wanted her. She would probably stay in his bedroom and sleep in his bed. For all I knew, she would rummage through his drawers and wear his shirts. The image made me feel violently ill.

  “What happened last night?” I felt driven to ask.

  Caleb grinned slyly. “Ya want a play by play?”

  I stared at him with contempt. Didn’t he care that my heart was crushed? “Jeez. You’re such a guy, Caleb. Why can’t you be serious?”

  His grin vanished. “Nothing happened. The cowards drove around the property about a dozen times and left,” he drawled. “Lane took Jordan home. Gabe left.”

  I wanted to ask if he had seen him, if Gabe was coming back, but I didn’t.

  “I’m going home,” I said as I choked on my tears.

  Caleb acted surprised. “You’re pulling my leg.”

  “They’re making me leave because of Hunt.”

  “But I don’t want you to go.”

  Of course he didn’t. He’d just lost Molly to his well-mannered brother and now his new fling Jordan was shipped off the planet. He probably wanted me around so he could play tug-of-war with Gabe.

  His hand rubbed his sore ribs; his eyes searched my broken express
ion.

  “Gimme something before ya go, legs. Something to remember you by. I’ll give you something to remember me by.” He raised his cheek into a wink and pushed off the counter to approach me.

  “I’ll remember how you stitch a good stab wound if I ever need a doctor.”

  Josh plowed through the door and saved me.

  “Did ya hear? He’s in the can!” His excited eyes traveled around my splotchy face. “Hey! What’s wrong with you?”

  “She’s planning to leave,” Caleb cut in. “She can’t stand us boys no more.”

  I rolled my eyes and looked at both of them. There really was a resemblance. Even in their eyes. How did I not see it? I hoped some of Meggie’s level head would rub off on Josh.

  “They’re making me go home,” I told him.

  * * *

  Twenty-four hours later, I was heading for the airport to board a private plane in Williston, North Dakota, the last place in the world I ever wanted to spend my summer. I’d passed the previous day watching out the window, waiting, searching, and hoping.

  Gabe never returned. He never called.

  I cried so hard my tears puddled on the windowsill. With each hour, I realized he wasn’t going to say goodbye, and I longed harder. At the same time, I battled my angry thoughts toward him.

  I told myself he didn’t care to come back. He didn’t care how I felt. I wasn’t going to look into his gorgeous eyes, touch his skin, or smell his intoxicating scent. I wasn’t going to taste his lips and press my heart to his. His voice wouldn’t wish me a safe trip, or tell me he loved me. I grew more numb, more shocked. But I kept hoping.

  “She’ll board Amtrak in Rochester,” Mr. Halden advised Aunt Meggie as we pulled into the airport parking lot.

  I slumped on the bench, defeated and uninterested in anything they were saying.

  “Your sister will be none the wiser,” Mr. Halden reassured Meggie.

  I didn’t want my mother to know the true reason I was returning early. That I was hiding from a snake named Hunt. She would never understand my involvement with an older boy, let alone a Halden.